Well, I inspired myself, this time. After making the “Made Easy” series earlier today for the past arena champions, I thought to myself, “I should probably do that for the Lvl. 100 NPCs, since everyone is scrambling for rubies right now with the NieR collab going on.” So, here it is: the “Lvl. 100 NPCs Made Easy” resource!
This will cover the first five Lvl. 100 NPCs in Flamesgrace, Victor’s Hollow, Donescu, Sufrataljah and Grandport. All clears we’re done between 6-14 turns. There’s not much I can do to make the one in Atlasdam “easy” at this point, and the same with the one in I’cirlo (although I’ll link my video clear of that one at the end, anyway, even though that clear is anything but easy). So let’s jump into it!
First of all, before anyone asks, you can find any of the Allies that I used in any of the battles in this other guide that I made a few days ago:
Allies Guide
They’ll all be in that guide. Continuing on…
Much like my arena clears, you’ll notice some recurring characters in my clears, such as Therion and Lynette. Sometimes, characters are replaceable, other times, they are not. Feel free to reach out to me about that, if you need some input on that kind of issue! The team details are at the end of each video.
Without further ado, let’s get the the juicy part: the video links (all of which are also linked in the relevant Mastery Survey(s))!
Flamesgrace Lvl. 100 NPC (Muttering Codger) Made Easy (6 Turn Clear)
Victor’s Hollow Lvl. 100 NPC (Old Storyteller) Made Easy (6 Turn Clear)
Donescu Lvl. 100 NPC (Doddering Mercenary) Made Easy (8 Turn Clear)
Sufrataljah Lvl. 100 NPC (Taciturn Housewife) Made (Relatively) Easy (10 Turn Clear)
Grandport Lvl. 100 NPC (Sea-Gazing Graybeard) Made Easy (14 Turn Clear)
…
And, lastly, I’ll include a link to my clear of the I’cirlo NPC. Don’t expect this one to be nearly as easy as the others.
Bladed Wings Master (I’cirlo Lvl. 100 NPC) has been Defeated!
…and that’s about it! If you have any questions or comments, just let me know! Enjoy, and I really hope this helps all y’all out there who still need these rubies for pulls!

Tank-Watch

With the season coming to a close soon it's about time to start looking at our draft pick situation and where we are likely to end up as well as who is likely to be on the board for our pick.
First off, what spot are we ending up at? Currently we are tied with the Pacers for the 7th spot. 2 games ahead of the Magic (with a game left against them) and less than 4 games separate us from half a dozen more teams. We are far enough out that we could be anywhere from 5th to 15th and it wouldn't be that crazy. One thing to note, if we do make the playoffs, we are losing our first to the Knicks that we traded away long ago to the Rockets in the original Westbrook deal.
With 8 games to go, here are how things stack up in terms of standings currently (I am including all teams within 4 games ahead or behind)

Pos.	Team	Record	GD	Rem. SOS	Proj. Wins
5	Magic	31-43	-2	11	34
6	Blazers	32-41	-0.5	14	36
7	Pacers	33-41	-	13	36
8	Wizards	33-41	-	12	37
9	Jazz	35-38	2.5	7	38
10	Bulls	35-28	2.5	18	40
11	Mavs	36-38	3	24	40
12	Thunder	36-38	3	28	40
13	Raptors	36-38	3	4	40
14	Pelicans	36-37	3.5	3	40
15	Hawks	36-37	3.5	2	41
16	Wolves	37-37	4	21	42
17	Lakers	37-37	4	26	42

I hope that gives a decent look into where we are currently at. For the teams better than us none seem to be outright tanking AFAIK, but the Jazz are a team that could overtake us. Neither Chicago nor Dallas have any incentive to tank as they don't have their pick. It's somewhat of a crapshoot as to whether any of those teams will fall into our range so I won't dive that deep into it right now, but I will take a look at the teams that are ahead of us in the draft order.
Pacers: Haliburton is coming back from an injury and they are playing him. Myles Turner on the other hand is questionable with "soreness". Winning tonight against the Hawks would be huge for us (tie game 10 minutes in but Turner is out), but they only have one other easier game against Detroit the rest of the way.
Blazers: Dame, Grant, and Simons are all sitting for dubious reasons and with only one gimme left on the schedule I don't see us catching them without some shenanigans of our own.
Magic: They are a young team and don't seem to be tanking egregiously, but to pass them in the order we most likely have to lose to them at home.
With all this information, it's hard to see us moving up any higher than 7th in the draft order. We have a similar remaining strength of schedule but we have some easier opponents and games that I think we can win if someone like KP is playing.

Draft

First, let me address the lottery odds. If we do indeed land at 7 we will have a 31.9% chance of a top 4 pick and a 7.5% chance of #1 which really isn't that bad. Our lottery luck hasn't been great so maybe we finally will move up and get that franchise changing type of guy. In this case, on average, our draft position will be 6.2.
Fun Fact: In every draft since 2017 the 7th team pre lottery has moved up to the top 4!
For the sake of the post, I'll ignore the possibility of moving up and talk about our realistic options.
So, I'm no draft expert, but I've followed this class for a bit and here are the prospects I simply don't see falling to 7:
Victory Wembanyama
Scoot Henderson
Brandon Miller
Amen Thompson
That is pretty much the list. I could maybe maybe see Amen falling as there are concerns with his level of competition and shooting, but as a PG with that size athleticism combo, it's hard to see it happening.
This leaves me with a pretty decent sized pool of 7 guys that I think we could draft barring any shake ups and stock risers.

1. Ausar Thompson: The twin brother of Amen is similar physically but with a different skillset. More of a wing than a point, Ausar can shoot the ball better and has tons of upside. At the moment he seems likely to go a couple picks ahead of us, but he definitely could be on the board.
   
2. Cam Whitmore: A local wing out of Maryland that has shown great promise, but has some flaws. He is really young (only 18), a great athlete, and can score well, but at the same time may be a bit small height-wise, and his playmaking at Villanova was dreadful with a sub .5 AST:TO ratio. May go a bit higher, but his stock isn't cemented.
   
3. Jarace Walker: Big bodied freshman that played for Houston. Great size, awesome defense, and lots of things to like on the offensive side. Not super polished but there's a lot to like. This is the last guy on my list I think has a decent chance of being taken before we pick.
   

That rounds out the relatively consensus top 7 players at the moment (I have seen any of one of those first 3 at 7 in at least one big board or mock draft) and brings us to the guys that we can start getting excited about without being super scared of them getting stolen away.

1. Anthony Black: Freshman G for Arkansas, Black is a prospect I'm a big fan of and someone that I think we might take. Lots of playmaking potential, great size at 6'7", great airtime, and a plus defender. Not the best shooter yet, but he reminds me of Josh Giddey in the way he plays.
   
2. Keyonte George: Freshman from Baylor that gets a lot of Bradley Beal comps. Not super efficient in college and positionally pretty redundant as a score first guard. Not super high on him and don't think we pick him but he is a very exciting player that I could see excel in the right situation.
   
3. Gradey Dick: The freshman sniper from Kansas will remind us a lot of Corey Kispert so I don't see fans being enthused at picking another player in his mold just 2 years later, but he has his upsides. A lot younger than Corey and with a bit more length to him he could be a bit more versatile.
   
4. Cason Wallace: This Kentucky freshman is what we wanted last year, but unfortunately he's a year late. I still remember all the debates about what point guard we should take, but with no good PGs at our pick range last year we ended up with Johnny Davis. Cason is a great defender and just has a great feel for the game. Not particularly flashy but does his job well.
   

Some other guys that could eke their way into the conversation are Taylor Hendricks or Nick Smith Jr.
Personally I'm a big fan of Anthony Black, and he is probably the #1 guy I'm hoping we land in the draft. The future of this franchise is very unclear, but if we do intend on keeping Brad, KP, and Kuz around I think he could complement them really well.
If anyone liked this I might do another one as the season draws near a close and I can go into individual game outcomes more closely.
TLDR: I think the Wizards are likely to land as 7th or 8th in the draft order. This gives us a decent chance to move up to the top 4, but if we don't there are some solid prospects to choose from that you can read about above. This definitely feels like a deeper top 10 than last year and even if we fail at tanking I like our choices.

CREDOBAPTISM VS PEDOBAPTISM: IS THERE A FORGOTTEN THIRD OPTION?
 
Pedobaptism and credobaptism have been debated for centuries, with the origin of their rivalry going back to at least the third century. While recently trying to decide between the two, I found a third option. This option appeals to me, but I am not quite convinced of its viability, so I would like to present it, and the best evidence I have for it, in the hopes of getting some feedback—a sort-of peer review, if you will. I will do my best to be as concise as possible, to limit the length of this post; and I will add a few possible objections, with my responses, in a separate comment. I would also like to avoid any tangents, such as discussion on whether baptism is necessary for salvation. A big thank you to anyone who takes the time to consider this.
 
My proposition is as follows:
Christian baptism is a work of God by which a person, formerly outside of Christ, is brought into Christ and his Church. Anyone who is born to Christian parents is born into Christ and the Church by virtue of their parents being in both. Therefore, children born to Christian parents do not need to be baptized.
 
I will support this proposition with four arguments:
1) Argument from Jewish proselyte baptism
2) Argument from apostolic practice
3) Argument from silence
4) Argument from post-apostolic development
 
 
Jewish Proselyte Baptism
The baptism of converts to Judaism was almost certainly practiced by the end of the Second Temple Period and would likely not have been adopted by the Jews had Christian baptism appeared first. It had to involve at least three witnesses (to form a court by which the baptism could be legitimized), and it was preceded by instruction concerning the Law, as well as by the witnesses' assurance of the proselyte's sincerity (cf. Acts 8:37, Didache 7:1–4, Justin Martyr's First Apology 61:14–17). It prioritized repentance (that is, the complete disavowal of one's old way of life; cf. eg, Matthew 3:1,11, 4:17; Mark 1:4,14–15, 6:12; Luke 3:3; Acts 2:38, 3:19, 11:18, 19:4, 20:21; 2 Corinthians 7:10; 2 Peter 3:9). It involved full immersion in, preferably, "living" (that is, flowing) water (cf. Didache 7:1–4), it was considered to bestow God's grace (that is, the benefits of his promises; cf. Acts 2:38; 1 Corinthians 6:11, 12:13; Titus 3:5; Clement of Alexandria's Paedagogus 1:6:26:1), and it was considered by some to erase previous sins on the basis of being a "new birth" (that is, in their baptism, the proselyte was seen to become as a newborn child; cf. John 3:3–8; Acts 2:38, 22:16; Romans 6:1-4; Galatians 3:26–27; Ephesians 5:25–27; Colossians 2:11–12; Titus 3:5; Letter of Barnabas 11:1–10; Shepherd of Hermas 4:3:1–2; Justin Martyr's First Apology 61:14–17; Theophilus of Antioch's To Autolycus 12:16; Clement of Alexandria's Paedagogus 1:6:26:1). Significantly, Jewish proselyte baptism could be administered to whole households (cf. Acts 10:48, 16:15,33, 18:8; 1 Corinthians 1:16). This included children, though an unborn child was considered to be a part of its mother and therefore baptized vicariously through her. Those who were baptized as children were free to renounce their baptism (and thereby their faith) when they reached the age of majority. Subsequent generations—that is, any children born after the initial conversion and baptism of the household—were considered to be born into the faith and therefore were not required to be baptized. Thus we can see that there were profound similarities between the baptism of converts to Judaism and that employed by the early Church, and we should justify any claimed departure of the latter from the former. Perhaps the biggest different that we can discern in John's baptism, specifically, is its anticipation of God's impending wrath upon unfaithful Israel (Matthew 3:7–12, Luke 3:7–9,15–17), provoking the Jews themselves to repentance. This theme was perpetuated by the apostles.
 
First argument: Jewish proselyte baptism formed a practical basis for Christian baptism. The former did not involve the baptism of children born to converts subsequent to conversion, therefore we might expect the same to be true of the latter.
 
Apostolic Practice
Jesus instructed his apostles to baptize (Matthew 28:19). The primary work of the apostles was to convert/save those who had not heard about Jesus, and they did this by proclaiming him to them as the Son of God on the basis of his resurrection from the dead (eg, John 20:31; Acts 2:14–39, 3:12–26, 4:8–12,33, 5:29–33, 10:34–43, 13:16–41, 26:1–23; Romans 1:3–4; 1 Peter 1:3, 3:21). Those who received their message and confessed Jesus as Lord repented and were baptized (Acts 2:38–41, 8:12–13,36–38, 10:48, 16:15,33, 18:8; 1 Corinthians 1:16). At times, this included entire households (Acts 10:48, 16:15,33, 18:8; 1 Corinthians 1:16). The very nature of conversion requires that those being converted are capable of rational decision-making, and that they are therefore old enough to do so. It is not surprising, then, to find that the accounts of conversion in the New Testament lack any explicit reference to infants or young children. We must keep in mind, however, that infants or young children may have participated in the conversion of entire households despite no explicit mention of such.
 
Second argument: In the New Testament, we see that the apostolic pattern of baptism involved converts (specifically, those who received their message concerning Jesus), sometimes involving whole households. This is in line with Jewish proselyte baptism.
 
Silence
Credobaptists claim that their view is supported by the lack of any reference to infants or young children being baptized in the New Testament. Meanwhile, pedobaptists claim that their view is supported by the lack of any reference to children being baptized at an "age of accountability." They further support this by arguing that, as the circumcision of newborns established a precedent, any change would have been explicitly taught. While the direct association of baptism with circumcision is doubtful, both observations are valid: the New Testament makes no reference to any second-generation Christian being baptized, whether in infancy, adolescence, or otherwise. Rather than Old Covenant circumcision, it is more appropriate to link Christian baptism with the baptism of Jewish converts, which did not involve the baptism of children born after the initial conversion. Therefore, while the advocates of each view use the argument from silence in an attempt to discredit the other, they succeed only in providing evidence against both.
 
Third argument: The New Testament lacks any reference to the baptism of second-generation Christians, despite having opportunity to do so.
 
Post-Apostolic Development
The silence of the New Testament continues for nearly a hundred years, until the mid-second century, when Justin Martyr contrasts being involuntarily born and raised in ignorance and wickedness with being voluntarily reborn into knowledge (First Apology 61). Thus Justin is speaking of adult converts, who are baptized for the forgiveness of their sins, which they committed in their former ignorance. We see this specifically in Justin's reference to upbringing: while his reference is to children (presumably now adults) who have been raised in wickedness, this is not true of children born to Christian parents, who are raised in the faith (unless we are to say that Christian parents should raise their children in ignorance and wickedness and only teach them about Christ when they reach a certain age). Later in the second century, Irenaeus refers to infants and children being "born again" (Against Heresies 2:22:4), which normally implies baptism, though he does not say so explicitly. Early in the third century, Tertullian counters infant baptism with an argument that is superficially similar to that of Justin Martyr (On Baptism 18), though this still might not necessarily apply to second-generation Christians (and would therefore only apply to the already-born children of converts), or it could simply be an extrapolation from Justin's words. It is toward the middle of the third century that infant baptism becomes a generally accepted practice, being spoken of without disapproval by Hippolytus, Origen, and Cyprian at that time. From then on, the Church embraced pedobaptism more or less as a whole until a segment of Protestantism (chiefly Baptists) opted for credobaptism, though pedobaptism remains the majority position of Christianity. How can we best explain the doctrinal trajectory of the Church on this matter?
First let's assume that credobaptism was the practice of the apostolic Church: We should expect to find apostolic instruction concerning this, as such practice would be counter to the norms of Jewish culture at the time, contradicting both circumcision and proselyte baptism. Had such instruction been given, it would likely have been preserved in written and/or oral traditions, either of which should have provided a much greater defense against the rise of pedobaptism by the turn of the third century. Contrary to this expectation, Pedobaptism became the majority view, and then the ubiquitous practice, of the Church with little opposition and no division (compare with this the divisions that occurred over other issues, such as whether or not the Holy Spirit proceeded from the Son in addition to the Father, or whether to receive back into fellowship those who had been compelled to denounce Christ during the Diocletianic Persecution).
Now let's assume that Pedobaptism was the apostolic practice: Such a practice would not contradict circumcision, nor would it contradict proselyte baptism in the initial conversion of households. It would, however, contradict the fact that the children of converts born after the initial conversion were not baptized, and we might expect to find some instruction concerning this, though it is less likely to have been preserved than any instruction concerning credobaptistic practices. Regardless, we would expect pedobaptism to be the dominant practice of the early Church. Contrary to this expectation, there is no explicit reference to pedobaptism prior to the third century (and only a single possible implicit reference to it in the latter half of the second century).
Finally, let's assume that only the children of converts who were already born at the time of their parents' conversion were baptized, and therefore that any children born to people who are already Christians did not need to be baptized: Such a practice would be based entirely on proselyte baptism, and so there is no contrast with circumcision to require special instruction. As such, we should expect to find two (or possibly three) categories of references to this practice: 1) the act of baptizing/being baptized in the context of conversion; 2) the fact of what baptism has accomplished for converts; and, perhaps, 3) the fact that the children of Christians are inherently included among the saved/accepted. Concerning category 1, it has already been shown that conversion is the only context in which baptism occurs in the New Testament (and, in fact, in the writings from the first 150 years of the Church's existence). Concerning category 2, we do indeed find such references (chiefly in Paul's writings, though also in those of John and Peter), and these are the subject of objections 2 and 3 below. Concerning Category 3, we have no less than one reference—namely, 1 Corinthians 7:14, in which Paul uses the holiness of a child born to one Christian and one non-Christian parent as an axiom to prove that the unbelieving spouse (and therefore the marriage) is sanctified by the believing spouse. The holiness of the child is assumed on the basis of the parent/marriage alone with no reference to the child being baptized (whether past or future). Given this, it should be no surprise that both credobaptism and (especially) pedobaptism would develop out of the lack of explicit instruction. The credobaptist view would be built upon the foundation of the apostolic pattern of baptizing converts, while pedobaptism would follow naturally from the acceptance of children into the Church (another apostolic practice; eg, Ephesians 6:1, Colossians 3:2), especially if we consider the development of other doctrines (such as that of original sin, which would require even children to be baptized on the assumption that it would cleanse them of sin inherited from Adam).
 
Fourth argument: The hypothesis that children born to Christians were originally not required to be baptized would seem to best explain the later emergence of both credobaptism and pedobaptism, as well as the dominance of the latter.
 
Conclusion
These four arguments suggest that the historical, apostolic practice of the Church was in line with the precedent that was established by Jewish proselyte baptism: while the conversion of whole households included the baptism of all members of that household, including infants and young children, any children who were born after the initial conversion were not required to be baptized as they were already in the faith (which included being in Christ and his Church). The development of doctrine in the post-apostolic era followed naturally from this, branching out into both pedobaptism and credobaptism, with pedobaptism emerging as the dominant practice. It is interesting, and perhaps significant, to note that, if there is no requirement for children born to Christians to be baptized, then there is nothing either lost or gained in pedobaptism or credobaptism. Maybe this is the real reason why God has allowed the confusion on this issue: it doesn't really matter.

What is this?

Throughout this year's tournament, I've been scraping all the comments from every /CBB game thread using the PRAW Python wrapper for Reddit's API, and then analyzed them with R. For the sweet 16, I ended up with a total of 36,565 comments from eight threads. I came up with a few interesting ways to look at the data, but let me know if you have any other ideas!
Here's the results from previous rounds:

• Round of 64
  
• Round of 32
  

1. Which game thread had the most ref complaints?

I searched each comment for flags like "refs", "rigged", "bullshit call", "refball", etc. that usually indicate a ref complaint. This isn't perfect, because it will include false positives like the rare "the refs are doing a great job!" and exclude contextual / non-flagged things like "that's bullshit", but it gets pretty close. If you have ideas for flags I should search for, please let me know!

CHART: Ref complaint leaderboard

This time SDSU vs. Alabama topped the list with 7.5% of all comments featuring a ref remark. I'm not surprised that it was one of the 1-seed upsets, but I wasn't able to catch that particular game so I can't really say if it's deserved or not. Overall though, this round was pretty calm; on the very serious and empirical scale I've been developing, a 7.5 means the thread was "heated," but just short of officially becoming "spicy."

2. Game thread timelines

I split each game thread up into five minute chunks, and counted the number of comments made during each interval from each faction. This results in fun little timeline graphs that show you where the action / excitement spiked, what % of each thread was made up of neutrals, etc. I think they're neat, so I included the top ten most commented-on threads here. Let me know if you want to see any others!

CHART: Game thread timelines

The #1 seed upsets follow the classic big game upset curve, with a slight bump leading into halftime and a massive spike at the end of the game. The neutrals also very clearly showed up to dogpile on UCLA and MSU as well, which is no surprise. Houston seems to have gotten off the easiest, in terms of neutrals showing up to talk shit at the moment of defeat.

3. Word clouds

I can also generate word clouds from the data! Here are some fun ones:

WORD CLOUD: Sweet 16, all threads

WORD CLOUD: SDSU vs. Alabama

WORD CLOUD: Miami vs. Houston

WORD CLOUD: Downvoted comments only (score < 1)

I can take requests on these as well if anyone has any!

4. Leaderboards

And finally, it's time to see who is winning the real March Madness -- posting on reddit.

Top Commenting Teams

Rank	Primary Flair	Total Comments	Unique Users	Comments per User	Avg. Score
#1	Michigan State Spartans	2,926	316	9.26	2.94
#2	UCLA Bruins	1,392	133	10.47	2.28
#3	Connecticut Huskies	1,285	134	9.59	3.52
#4	Texas Longhorns	1,163	152	7.65	1.77
#5	Alabama Crimson Tide	1,149	139	8.27	1.06
#6	Kansas State Wildcats	1,142	118	9.68	3.79
#7	Gonzaga Bulldogs	1,141	119	9.59	2.19
#8	Tennessee Volunteers	977	129	7.57	2.62
#9	North Carolina Tar Heels	972	103	9.44	2.60
#10	San Diego State Aztecs	963	82	11.74	3.58

Michigan State fans once again claim the top spot, for the second round in a row! We'll see if they can continue their dominance now that they've been bounced from the tournament. Also, a huge shoutout to UCLA and SDSU for averaging over 10 comments per fan, and also to the UNC Tarheels just for showing up.

Top Ref Complainer Teams (min. 250 comments total in data)

Rank	Primary Flair	Total Comments	N Ref Complaints	% Ref Complaints
#1	Virginia Cavaliers	265	18	6.79%
#2	Tennessee Volunteers	977	63	6.45%
#3	Alabama Crimson Tide	1,149	70	6.09%
#4	No Flair	6,310	361	5.72%
#5	Texas Longhorns	1,163	62	5.33%
#6	Illinois Fighting Illini	553	29	5.24%
#7	San Diego State Aztecs	963	50	5.19%
#8	Duke Blue Devils	453	21	4.64%
#9	Gonzaga Bulldogs	1,141	50	4.38%
#10	Maryland Terrapins	504	22	4.37%

UVA fans, just barely clearing the 250 comment threshold, have seized the top spot by making just 18 complaints. A highly efficient performance! Runners up were Tennessee and Bama, beating out even the no flairs, and also Illinois and Duke are on there for some reason.

Top individual commenters

Rank	Commentor	Flair	Total Comments	Avg. Score	Min. Score	Max. Score	Threads Visited
#1	4ngusm4c	North Carolina Tar Heels	194	2.54	-4	25	8
#2	electricHats75	Michigan Wolverines	183	1.91	-4	14	4
#3	AFC-Wimbledon-Stan	Auburn Tigers	159	3.14	0	17	8
#4	nikefreak23	North Carolina Tar Heels	137	2.66	1	14	6
#5	circa285	Kansas State Wildcats	118	3.39	-2	22	2
#6	Kardinale	Louisville Cardinals	117	3.35	0	20	7
#7	fancycheesus	Arkansas Razorbacks	116	4.37	-1	24	6
#8	BreadKiller0688	Kansas State Wildcats	110	3.48	1	13	8
#9	spierce64006	Indiana (PA) Crimson Hawks	108	1.99	-3	35	3
#10	Hooper1054	No Flair	99	1.89	0	10	5

A few familiar names make their return this time, but this round's champion was a newcomer to the top ten list, UNC fan 4ngusm4c. Congrats! Interestingly, I don't think there's been anyone to make the top 10 in all three rounds thus far -- it's still anyone's guess who will wind up the Most Voluminous Poster (MVP) of the tournament.

Random fun facts:

• Most toxic thread: To probably nobody's surprise, SDSU vs. Alabama was the most toxic thread of the Sweet 16, with 676 of all 7,689 comments (or 8.8%) downvoted to a score < 1. That's nearly double the runner up (Michigan State vs. K-State, with 4.6%)!
  
• Most 'fuck's per Comment: The Iowa Hawkeyes take first place in the profanity category this time, with 9.4% of their 286 comments containing some form of the word "fuck." Purdue, Tennessee, MSU, and SDSU round out the top five.
  
• Most hated comments: I thought they were kinda funny, so here are the top 10 most downvoted comments of the Sweet 16:
  

Thread	Comment	Score	Primary Flair
#7 Michigan State @ #3 Kansas State	MSU fans triggered.	-44	No Flair
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	meh they have no chance against us in the second half. we have too much talent for these bums	-43	Alabama Crimson Tide
#7 Michigan State @ #3 Kansas State	Izzo is the most overrated coach in the history of basketball. “Mr march” 🤡	-39	Grand Canyon Antelopes
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	Don’t belong on the same court.	-36	Alabama Crimson Tide
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	Lol bitch boy SDSU coach having a tantrum	-32	Alabama Crimson Tide
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	Every time we get momentum refs make a call to keep SD in it	-31	Alabama Crimson Tide
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	[removed]	-28	No Flair
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	SDSU are flop artists	-27	Alabama Crimson Tide
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	Fuck SDSU rip bozo. Bama better Roll Tide	-27	Purdue Boilermakers
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	Lol people thought some no name team would be able to keep up with Bama once shots start falling.	-26	Alabama Crimson Tide
#5 San Diego State @ #1 Alabama	Fuck off. Refs won't call sdsu fouls but bails them out when there are consequences	-26	Alabama Crimson Tide

Thanks for reading! Please let me know if you have any other requests / suggestions!

I've seen a few people talking lately about the Carnivore achievement and how difficult it is and I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring as it were. This is going to be a how-to on how to set up your colony, what to research, in what order and what to do in order to give you the best shot at getting Locavore, Carnivore and then later Super Sustainable. After that, as long as you don't kill your colony, all the remaining achievements are just a matter of time.
Locavore - The first achievement you need to worry about. Eat 400,000 kcal of food without planting any seeds in Planter boxes, Farm Tiles or Hydroponics Farms.
Carnivore - The second one to focus on. Have duplicants eat 400,000 kcal of critter meat before the 100th cycle. Note that you must specifically eat critter meat. Eggs don't count, omelettes don't count, fish does, and anything made with critter meat (eg. Barbeque or surf and turf) does.
Super Sustainable - The easy but annoying one. Generate 240,000kJ of power without using coal, natural gas, petrol or wood generators. No time limitations here but it does limit how you can get power.

The Plan

First thing is basic setup, then we solve oxygen which will be a basic 1kg SPOM of which there are many designs. After that we take a look at food, once Locavore is done, we plant Mealwood to get us through to the point where our ranches are producing enough meat to get Carnivore.

Asteroid Setup

Depending on which cluster you want to play on, you will have a few restrictions that matter.

1. All asteroids except Qagmiris and Metallic Swampy start with at least 1 Hatch. Do not let this hatch die. If you start in a swamp, look into ranching Plug Slugs. Bonus: Free power! Downside: say good-bye to your metals.
   
2. Some asteroids have 0 algae. On asteroids like the Irradiated Ocean start, you will have to rely on Oxylite and digging to pockets with oxygen in them to survive long enough to rush a SPOM... or even just an open-air Electrolyzer to dump hot Oxygen and Hydrogen into your base to survive. You can clean it up later, the dupes need to breathe now.
   
3. Overly cold asteroids are difficult due to not being able to use coal generators and other heat producing structures. All your wild-planted mealwood-equivalent is going to stifle.
   
4. Difficulty matters. This "guide" will be written assuming you max out all the sliders and have care packages and teleporters turned off. If you have them turned on, you will receive large amounts of free food and an easily-accessible second aseroid which will make this easier. Leaving the difficulty sliders on their defaults (or turning them down) will make this easier as well.
   
5. Story traits (the Hermit/somnifier etc) don't really affect this, so leave them on or off as you chose.
   

Dupe Setup

There is exactly one thing you absolutely must have in your starting team. You must have a Researcher, preferably with a total science skill of at least +10. If you have Researching +7 and the Quick Learner (+3) trait, you're good to go. You just want +10 total, traits themselves don't matter hugely, though having Quick Learner means your research will top out at +23 instead of +20. You can get by with less but taking less than +10 will result in you having to dump hydrogen into your base on any asteroid without algae.
Your other 2 dupes should include a Digger (with or without building) and one of either a second diggebuilder, a cook or a rancher. I know the meta doesn't include a cook, but you're going to be surviving (or not) on your cook's ability to churn out Mush Fry. Having a skilled cook will matter a lot earlier than having a skilled Rancher.
Regardless, there's a lot of flexibility in which dupes you take, just make sure you have a Researcher and avoid certain bad traits and you'll be fine. In my test colony, I started with this. You can make a good cook out of several different dupes and Ranchers typically show up fairly early anyway.

Early Setup

Some things I always change early on.

1. Setup Schedules. You want 4 schedules with 2 dupes on each one. Each schedule should have 2 squares of downtime and 2 squares of sleep and then rest should be work. Stagger your schedules so that the next schedule has their downtime while the previous one is asleep. Like this. Also make sure to turn the first shift's alarm off under options because it's obnoxious. Make sure your diggebuilders are on the late shift. You want them to work more on their first day.
   
2. Dupe Priorities. Your researcher should have Research and Operating prioritised, with Researching maxed out and your two other dupes should be disallowed from Researching and should prioritise digging and building equally. Like this. Note that I have also set everyone to prioritise Attacking/Toggling/Life Support/Tidying first. This will ensure that the toilets get emptied and those other jobs get done first. Also, in the top right there is a cog. Make sure to set "Enable Proximity" to on.
   
3. Turn Disinfecting off (F9, uncheck the box). It's a massive waste of duplicant labour and if you've setup your toilets correctly you wont ever get food poisoning.
   
4. Set all local food to auto-harvest at priority 7.
   
5. Set your food box to store ALL and priority 9. You have a hatch running loose, don't let him eat your food.
   

Day One

Objective:

1. Pitcher Pump - Dig to your closest water source and build a Pitcher Pump. You will need the water for research and for your Wash Basins.
   
2. Toilets - Dig out a room that is 8x4 with room for a door. In that room place 2x Outhouses and 2x Wash Basins. Make sure your dupes cannot walk out of that room without passing the Wash Basins.
   
3. Bedrooms - dig out a room of at least 6x2 with room for a door. Place 3x cots in that room.
   
4. Research - Place the Research Station directly next to the Printing Pod for a light bonus on research. then attach your wheel and battery.
   
5. Ladder shaft - Make sure you leave room for either a 4 or 5-tile wide shaft. Keep natural tiles at floor level on either side so you can turn it into a Nature Reserve once you've got some pips.
   

End of Day 1

Research Order

1. Basic Farming -> Meal Preparation (Mess Table)
   
2. Power Regulation (Jumbo Batteries)
   
3. Employment -> Advanced Research (Super Computer, Water Cooler)
   
4. Interior Decorating -> Artistic Expression (lights, Flower Pots, Hanging Flower Pots)
   
5. Smart Home -> Generic Sensors (automation for SPOM/Incubators)
   
6. Brute Force Refinement (refined metal for Incubators, Automation and better wires)
   
7. Plumbing -> Air Systems (water piping and electrolysers)
   
8. Filtration (filter for SPOM)
   
9. Ventilation -> Pressure Management -> Improved Ventilation (gas piping, airflow tiles/airlocks/pressure sensor for SPOM)
   
10. Internal Combustion -> Sound Amplifiers (Smart Batteries)
    
11. Advanced Power Regulation -> Low-Resistance Conductors (Hydrogen generators, conductive wiring)
    
12. Temperature Modulation -> HVAC (insulated tiles, gas storage)
    
13. Agriculture (refrigerator)
    
14. Ranching -> Animal Control (Ranching, Incubators)
    

Early Game - Pre-SPOM

Your early game objective is to get up a Great Hall and then a cooking area near your water supply. Your cooking area should be 1 grill and 2 muchers, separated by a door and with lights illuminating both areas. You wont initially be using the cooking area, but it's better to have it ready to go when you forget about food and suddenly get STARVATION warnings. Speaking of starvation, take a look around the map and dig towards any areas with local wild-grown food or oxygen pockets. Oxylite is also a good thing to dig towards. Make sure you move your food box near the cooking area and replace where it was with a super computer. Moving the Manual Generator out of the room will give you the Laboratory room bonus, granting more research speed.
If you're on a colony with Pips, consider having them wild-plant all the Mealwood scattered all over the place into a nice little farm for you so your dupes don't have to run all over the place. Don't bother about pip-planting Oxyferms, you need 10 of them for 1 dupe worth of oxygen. It's not worth the time needed.
Don't worry about plumbed toilets. Your dupes can pee in a hole if needed, they can't breathe in a Lavatory if there's no air. Build a Rock Crusher early. You will need a minimum of 375kg of refined metal to build a SPOM and something like another 800kg for conductive wires if you don't want to have the basic ones constantly melting. Each pair of incubators you build later will require 455kg of refined metal, and more if you use fancy wires (don't).
You should reserve an area 16 tiles long on 2 floors (16x11) for your SPOM and as you finish researching bits for it, start building. Ideally you want it mostly built by the time you finish the research for the Hydrogen Generators. You can insulate it in later, just get it running first.
For duplicants, you want to have the following: 1x researcher, 2x diggebuilders, 1 cook, 1 rancher, 1 random dupe to fetch stuff and run on the wheel, bonus points if he's an OperatoSupplier and can become a Mechatronics Engineer later. If you want to risk it, you can go up to 8 dupes, but absolutely don't go over that number, you wont be able to feed them.

The Danger Zone

This is the part of the run where my colonies fail the most. Your SPOM is almost done, but you're running very low on oxygen in the base. You're also running VERY low on calories for your duplicants, but you can't take your dupes off building the SPOM or everyone will suffocate. You need to decide if you're going to make it or if you need to turn the SPOM on early and flood the base with oxygen (and hydrogen!) and you also need to decide if you need to make some food in a hurry.

The SPOM

You want one of these even if you're on a standard start with tonnes of algae. You will eventually run out of algae, but also you want this for the power if nothing else. Hydrogen power doesn't require dupes running on wheels and frees up labour for other things.
Here's the design for a basic 1kg SPOM, as popularised by Francis John. There are other designs, there are better designs, but this one is basic, easy to setup, easy to understand and doesn't exploit anything. Here's the Gas setup and here's the wiring. For liquids, just pipe water from your fresh water supply into the 2 electrolyzers. The pressure sensors are set to be ABOVE 750g for the bottom pumps and ABOVE 450g for the top pump.
The Oxygen pipe (blue) takes the oxygen from the gas pumps down through the clean water to dump off heat and then out to the base. If you have an ice biome close by, run it through a few tiles of that and it will work just as well, just don't pump -10 degree celcius oxygen into your base. Aim for 20 degrees celcius. Once you've pressurised your base, run a pipe up to the surface to dump leftover oxygen into space. If you don't do something with the oxygen, eventually your base will over pressurise, your vents will stop letting the oxygen out and you'll end up pumping oxygen into your hydrogen generators and they will break. Make sure you seal the surface breach as well or you'll be dumping all your gases into space.
The hydrogen pipes (pink) take the hydrogen across a bridge, then up to a filter. The filter lets hydrogen through the yellow arrow pipe and dumps everything not-hydrogen into the top pipe. The top pipe goes into the next room and dumps whatever is there into the base. It's generally oxygen or carbon dioxide, so we don't care. After a few cycles of running, you can cut the filter out if you want to save some power, or just leave it in case things start breaking. Once the pipes to the middle and right hydro-generators are full of hydrogen, the bridge will allow overflow down from the left side of the bridge. This goes to the left-most hydrogen generator and is burned off to power the rest of the base, ensuring that we don't over-pressurise with hydrogen. The hydrogen pipes are snaked all over the generators to provide cooling and also storage.

The PANIC and Ranches

OK, you've got Oxygen sorted and maybe have a little extra hydrogen to help power your base, but you've got no food left and STARVATION warnings are flashing across your screen. Here's what we do. We're going to make Mush Fry until Locavore is done. In the image, you can see my early kitchen setup. 1 grill, 2 mushers, a fridge and a local water supply. You don't need to automate piping the water in from the same source as your SPOM, you can just build your kitchen near water. However you get the water there, make sure it's close. The doors between the grill and mushers are set to not allow my cook into the area with the mushers. I want the cook with the highest skill cooking the Fry, not mushing the bars. I also don't want him running off to fetch things. That cook is ONLY allowed to grill. You will also want at least one other cook (2 is nice if you can) that is ONLY allowed to cook, supply and store. Until you get Locavore, you're not worried about building, you're not worried about researching, you're worried about making 12-16,000 kcal of Mush Fry every day so your dupes don't starve.
Once you've got Locavore, add Farm tiles into the back half of your ranches and plant every Mealwood seed you have. Dig up the wild ones and plant in the boxes. Mealwood takes 3 cycles to give you 800 kcal, so you need ~10 per duplicant to live entirely off Mealwood. A standard hatch ranch can fit 18 planter boxes, so 3 ranches full of Mealwood should feed about 6 dupes, with some Mush Fry or Liceloaf to make up the difference.
If you have spare labour pre-Locavore, continue researching ranching and start digging out your ranches. 25x4 is the standard ranch size (ignore the farm tiles, don't build those until you've got Locavore) with a door and 2 tiles inside that area you will have a 96 tile ranch. Your first hatch ranch will be fed on Sedementary Rock until you run out. Hope you get a Stone Hatch egg if you don't have much in the way of Sedimentary Rock because you want to feed them your other rocks that aren't as useful (i.e mafic rock and such).

Incubators and Eating

Here's what I do for a standard Incubator duo. You can build them one per timer and leave space for the second one, then once you have 5, come back and add the second incubator to the first timer. I run them in pairs and then stagger their running time by 20% of a cycle so that there is always only 2 running and I can have 10 incubators incubating eggs. Make sure you either have 2 ranchers or account for the period where your one rancher is sleeping. Make sure those eggs get lullabied. Your incubators will need their own powergrid, put 2 wheels and 2 jumbo batteries on them.
At this point, you want to get up to about 5 ranches full of hatches before you eat any of them. Every hatch you eat is one less hatch laying eggs. Get your ranches full first. Feel free to use any other critters for food during this period. You don't need to keep 17 Sweedles around just for fun. Eat them. Look at how many dupes you have and do the maths for when you have to start feeding them meat. On ravenous settings, each dupe needs 2,000 kcal per cycle. If you have 10 dupes, that's 20,000 kcal per cycle which will take 20 cycles to eat enough BBQ.
As for eating, you need 100 Hatches to make 400,000 kcal of BBQ. If you're starting your ranches at cycle 50 with a single hatch and nothing else, you should be done eating BBQ by cycle 90 or so. Make sure to grab a few extra dupes towards cycle 80-90 or so to help with eating more meat if needed. I usually have 10-12 dupes by cycle 100. once you have Locavore though, you will have plenty of dupe labour. Check out your teleporter asteroid if you have them turned on, or start a rocket program if you don't. Make sure you get plumbed toilets and a massage clinic at some point. If you have care packages turned on and you get any hatches or eggs, make sure to take them.

First off, this isn't a super-important thread. It's just stats, which I think can be neat. I think these ones are neat.
Also note that I'm talking about the same reign, by which I mean defenses across one, singular reign with the title. People who defended the same title across separate reigns do not count for this, but will get a mention.
Last year I made a post before Elimination Chamber about how if Bobby Lashley held onto his WWE Title at Wrestlemania and defended it, he'd become the first black man to defend it at back-to-back Manias, and only the 4th overall to do that. Well, that didn't end up happening, and so I've learned my lesson and will only put these kinds of things together shortly before Mania (knock on wood).
Now, Roman Reigns has been Universal Champion since the summer of 2020. Since then, he's defended it at Mania 37 against Edge and Daniel Bryan Danielson, and at Mania 38 last year against Brock. This upcoming match with Cody will make 3 defenses in the same reign.
The minimum amount of time needed to accomplish this feat is 2 years, or 730 days (depending on Leap Year). This is assuming that someone wins the title at Mania and then has a successful defense at the same Mania to set the counter at 1. The only people aside from Roman to have reigns (heh) that long are WALTEGunther (UK title, never defended at Mania), Hulk Hogan (WWF Title, see below), the Glamour Girls (WWF Women's Tag Team Championship, the ones decades before the Boss n' Hug belts, never defended at Mania), and people whose reigns were from before the creation of Wrestlemania.
Let's take a little look see. Here's every World Title match at Mania, and I've noted some long reigns with other titles.

1. No WWF Title match
2. Hogan (c) vs King Kong Bundy
   • Note: IC Champion Randy Savage defended against George "The Animal" Steele
3. Hogan (c) vs Andre (same reign)
   • Note: IC Champion Randy Savage defended against Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat (same reign)
4. Vacant (tournament to crown the vacated title) (combo breaker)
   • Note: IC Champion Honky Tonk Man defended against Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake. This is the only Mania defense in HTM's historic reign (aka the only Mania on the HonkaMeter)
5. Savage (c) vs Hogan
6. Hogan (c) vs Warrior
7. Sgt. Slaughter (c) vs Hogan
8. Flair (c) vs Savage
9. Bret Hart (c) vs Yokozuna, followed by Yokozuna (c) vs Hulk Hogan
10. Yokozuna (c) vs Lex Luger (separate reign), Yokozuna (c) vs Bret Hart (same reign)
11. Diesel (c) vs HBK
12. Bret (c) vs HBK
13. Sid (c) vs Undertaker
14. HBK (c) vs Stone Cold
15. Rock (c) vs Stone Cold
16. (aka 2000). HHH (c) in the "McMahon in Every Corner" thing
17. Rock (c) vs Stone Cold
18. Y2J (c) vs HHH (after this point, we enter a period of 2 world titles, which I will also reflect. WWE title first, WHC second)
19. • Kurt Angle (c) vs Brock Lesnar,
    • HHH (c) vs Booker T
20. • Eddie Guerrero (c) vs Angle,
    • HHH (c) vs HBK vs Royal Rumble winner [redacted] (separate reign)
21. • JBL (c) vs John Cena
    • HHH (c) vs Batista (separate reign)
    • Note: Trish Stratus defended the Women's Championship against Christy Hemme
22. • Cena (c) vs HHH
    • Kurt Angle (c) vs Randy Orton vs Rey Mysterio
    • Note: Trish defended the Women's Championship against Mickie James
23. • Cena (c) vs HBK (separate reign)
    • Batista (c) vs Undertaker
24. • Randy Orton (c) vs Cena vs HHH
    • Edge (c) vs Undertaker
25. • HHH (c) vs Orton,
    • Edge (c) vs Big Show vs John Cena (separate reign and title)
26. • Batista (c) vs Cena
    • Y2J (c) vs Edge
27. • Miz (c) vs Cena
    • Edge (c) vs Alberto Del Rio
28. • CM Punk (c) vs Y2J
    • Daniel Bryan (c) vs Sheamus (18 seconds)
29. • Rock (c) vs Cena (note: nearing 10 years since this match)
    • Del Rio (c) vs Jack Swagger (WE THE PEOPLE; also, the titles were unified later)
30. Randy Orton (c) vs Batista vs Daniel Bryan
31. Brock (c) vs Roman Reigns
32. HHH (c) vs Roman (Universal title introduced this year; will also be reflected)
    • Note: Charlotte's Divas Championship is retired, reborn as the new Women's Championship. Charlotte sorta kinda defends against Becky and Sasha.
    • Note: New Day did not defend the Tag Titles at this Mania in their historic 483-day reign, instead facing the League of Nations in a 6-Man Tag.
33. • Bray Wyatt (c) vs Randy Orton
    • Goldberg (c) vs Brock
    • Note: Alexa Bliss defended the Women's title in a 6-pack challenge
    • Note: New Day hosted
34. • AJ Styles (c) vs Shinsuke Nakamura
    • Brock (c) vs Roman
    • Note: Women's title was divided in the brand split. Bliss defended the Raw title against Nia (separate reign), Asuka defended the Smackdown title against Charlotte Charlotte defended the Smackdown title against Asuka
35. • Daniel Bryan (c) vs Kofi Kingston
    • Brock (c) vs Seth Rollins (separate reign)
    • Note: Women's Triple Threat with both titles on the line. Ronda (Raw) and Charlotte (Smackdown) defended
36. • Brock (c) vs Drew McIntyre* (separate reign and title)
    • Goldberg (c) vs Braun Strowman
    • Note: Becky defended Raw title against Shayna in the only Mania defense of her reign
37. • Bobby Lashley (c) vs Drew
    • Roman (c) vs Edge vs Daniel the Bryan Danielson Bryanson
38. Brock (c) vs Roman (c) (unification) (same reign for Reigns)
    
    • Note: Usos defended Smackdown Tag Titles against Nakamura and Rick Boogs
39. (pending) Roman (c) vs Cody Rhodes (same reign for Reigns)
    
    • Note: Usos will defend against, er, name pending. (KO-Zayn-ia)? (same reign)

Other interesting notes

• Hulk Hogan would have been first to achieve this feat had he defended the WWF title at Wrestlemania 1 or 4. Instead, he tagged with Mr. T to face Piper and Orndorff (w/ Cowboy Bob Orton) at 1, and lost to Andre before 4 in controversial fashion.
  
• Thanks to defenses at WM 2, at WM 3 both Randy Savage and Hogan defended the same title in the same reign at 2 consecutive Manias. If you want to be technical, Savage was the first to do this for 2 Manias, since his matches were on before Hogan's.
  
• Trish Stratus is the first woman to defend in the same reign at 2 consecutive Manias.
  
• The Usos will be the first tag team to defend in the same reign at 2 consecutive Manias.
  
• Triple H is the first to defend a World title at 3 consecutive Manias, and the first to defend the same World Title, but he did this in separate reigns.
  
• Brock is the second to defend a World Title thrice at consecutive Manias, but he did this across multiple reigns and titles.
  
• If Yokozuna had remained champion after 9, he'd be the first to defend thrice at Mania in the same reign at all. In any case, he'll have to settle for being the first person to have 2 World Championship matches twice at consecutive Manias.
  

If I've screwed up horribly somewhere, please let me know.

A few weeks ago, I ordered this knife from AliEx because it was part of the "Event" sale they had going. Total price shipped after tax was $59. The maker & model weren't listed, so I had to do a deep internet dive. After extensive searching I learned the maker is a company called Godfur, & the model is the Radiation.
Here are pictures & video of the Godfur Radiation out of the box.
And here are pictures after I anodized the frame, backspacer, & clip.
As you can imagine, I was a bit skeptical when ordering this knife, because even at the regular price of around $75, & even for higher-end Chinese knives, it's uncommon if not rare to find premium steels being used. You often find titanium with D2, K110, VG-10, or 14C28N to help keep the cost down. For example, Green Thorn knives in M390 are usually quite a bit more expensive than their D2 counterparts.
But when I sharpened the blade of the radiation, it became abundantly clear that it was much more difficult to remove steel than on a knife in a mid-range steel. It felt pretty much exactly right for M390 that's heat treated well.
The build quality, fit & finish on the knife is outstanding, at least on par with the nicer TwoSuns, Green Thorns, Kanedeiias, or other high-quality-low-price Chinese makers out there.
This knife has everything you could want: all-Titanium construction, balanced weight, & comfortable ergos. It's got a lock bar insert/overtravel stop, milled clip, screws that fit snugly (though I did need to add a bit of threadlocker to the pivot screw to keep it secure). It's pretty easy to choke up near the heel of the blade since the flipper tab is mostly flat & non-pocket-pecking.
But perhaps most impressively, it has snappy deployment with a satisfying chack on lockout, with smooth, controlled fall shut action that just glides down with barely a shake. It did have some grittiness when I pulled it out of the box, but after cleaning out some crap from the pivot (grease, maybe?) & lubing it, it's as smooth as can be. This knife feels like it should cost at least a couple hundred dollars, minimum.
Anyway, here are some specs on the knife that I measured myself, in case you're interested. I highly recommend it, & I feel it's one of the best values out there that I've seen recently. Note that the blade meets the handle at a fairly steep angle, which makes their individual measurements add up to more length than the knife.

1. OAL: 8.37 in
2. Blade length & Cutting edge from furthest point: 3.8 in
3. Handle length from furthest point: 4.8 in
4. Thickness BTE: 0.018 in
5. Blade stock: 0.130 in
6. Handle thickness: 0.492 in
7. Weight: 4.14 oz
8. Blade steel: M390

Anyway, I just thought I'd make a post to ask if anyone has heard of this brand or has any experience with this model or any of their other models. I've never heard anyone so much as whisper this maker's name, & it's quite difficult to dig up any information on them other than the small snippets I could find on AliEx or just a few YouTube Shorts without anyone speaking.
For me, though, I would buy one of their products again in a heartbeat. I feel this is one of the best purchases I've made since I began collecting knives in earnest a few years ago.
As far as I know, you can still find this knife on sale over at AliExpress as of 3/25/2023.

Now that Framework has satisfied some of the most-requested roadmap items:

• 16" high-performance laptop
• AMD chips
• Matte display
• Bigger battery and promises for firmware improvements
• Integrations for reusing old components, such as mainboards and batteries

I'm increasingly excited by a vision for the true potential of an open and accessible electronics ecosystem, the scale of which may be beyond current perception.
I'm the guy who accurately predicted the Chromebook weeks before it was announced and correctly anticipated that this most-recent event would be bigger than an AMD mainboard. Since this most recent announcement, I've been thinking about my own wish list for Framework. Comment to elevate ideas you like, or tell me if I'm full of it. Either way, I'm excited to see how this company's road map unfolds in real life.
​

• For my current 13" Framework:
  • I don't like that when I pick up my open Framework one-handed, the pressure on the chassis causes the touch pad to click, causing varying degrees of chaos depending on what programs are open. This seems easily resolvable with:
    • CNC keyboard panel and bottom panel
    • Haptic touch pad
  • Gorilla glass Victus Matte Touchscreen. I travel a lot, tend to break things, and would pay for greater robustness.
    • OLED option
    • 90hz or 120hz refresh rate
  • Chassis modifications for a 2-in-1. My use case currently requires that I carry the very-expensive 12.9 inch iPad everywhere too. I'd rather not need it.
    • Integrated stylus
    • Either a 360 degree hinge for a 180% butterfly-style swivel
  • Options for stronger and lighter body panels
    • Carbon fiber
    • Magnesium Alloy
  • Google's security chips on all mainboards for ChromeOS compatibility
    • You all mostly didn't like my encouragement for Framework's Google integrations. But if I understand GrapheneOS correctly, Google's security chips are *absolutely* in the spirit of security and make their products uniquely competitive against Apple and Microsoft. I'd love to see a desktop operating system that works as smoothly.
  • Second SSD slot
    • I prefer Linux, but I'd like to be able to dual-boot Windows or ChomeOS reliably and with full-disk encryption. My use case requires MS Office on desktop and I don't like to use VM's.
    • This would furthermore enable more applications for the mainboard upon reuse
  • Solid State Battery (obviously on a longer timeline)
  • Coreboot
    • if I'm reusing mainboards, this seems like a great way to ensure long-term support. I'm not a developer so I otherwise don't really care.
  • Framework needs something that more closely resembles the Arch wiki for their how-to's, FAQ's, etc.

​

• Expansion cards
  • LTE
  • HiFi Audio
  • 2TB Storage
  • 4TB Storage

​

• Additional bits that enable reuse for the mainboard and other components.
  • This expands on the developing ecosystem, where
    • a minicomputer case is now a reality for the 13" mainboard in along with
    • we have a known road map for reusing batteries in powerbanks and GPU's in enclosures.
  • Framework seems poised to make open hardware AND software accessible to mainstream consumers. To me, the logical opportunity for innovation here is for self-hosting and home networking to become viable for non-technical folks.
    • Router
    • Network-Attached Storage
    • Uninterruptible Power Supply from old batteries

​

• Product availability with eventual 24/7 support to enable B2B and commercial deployments
  • The Rest of the EU
  • Switzerland and Norway
  • APAC (especially Japan, Korea, Singapore, NZ, and India)
  • The rest of EMEA (especially Turkey, Israel, and the Gulf States)
  • LATAM (especially Mexico, Brazil, and Panama)

​

• Additional products
  • 14" gaming laptop (a smaller version of the new 16")
  • 15" ultrabook (a larger version of the 13")
  • High-quality OLED dumb TV's with high refresh rates (VESA-mount the reused mainboards!)
  • Projector
  • External Monitors (desktop and portable)
  • Thunderbolt Dock. This is a huge opportunity to enable the expansion cards to shine
    • 2 device inputs
    • 3 display outputs
    • 6 peripheral slots to support things like a Mouse, Keyboard, EGPU, HiFi Audio, etc
  • Additional personal devices
    • Unlocked and GrapheneOS-capable Smartphone
    • E-Ink E-Reader
    • Smartwatch
    • Lapdock
    • Dashcam
  • Audio
    • Wireless headphones
    • Earbuds
    • Home theater (preamps, subwoofers, monitors, etc.)
  • Home networking
    • Switch
    • Wireless Access Points
    • An IOT ecosystem
  • Home appliances
    • Washer
    • Dryer
    • Dishwasher
    • Refrigerator
    • Oven
    • Vacuum
    • PrinteScanner
    • 3D Printer
  • Power tools

​

• Leverage the opportunity to bring desktop Linux, FOSS, self-hosting and end-to-end encryption software to the mainstream
  • If they're not already, exert influence and collaborate with the Linux Foundation, the Wayland, Gnome, and KDE projects, and others to optimize their products for Framework's firmware and UX
  • Create a proper universal and sandboxed package manager for Linux (or create something like the Aurora store for desktop Android apps)
  • Enable seamless integration between Linux and mobile operating systems for communication, personal files and photos, applications, etc.
  • User-friendly, non-technical server and client interfaces for self-hosting
    • VPN
    • Media
    • IOT
    • Personal Cloud

​

• Further enable parts availability where people need them most. When something breaks and needs to be fixed fast, people are generally on the go.
  • Should retail locations make the roadmap, they should focus on transit hubs
    • past security at major airline hubs
    • train stations
  • Proximity to university campuses
• This would be a major selling point for employers, knowing that their people can always get their equipment fixed even when they're not near the mothership.

Preferred payment is PayPal Friends and Family! But I can also do Cashapp, Zelle, Facebook Pay, Venmo or Amazon GC if need be. Assume all codes have been split. Redeem only portion you pay for.I am open to trades if I don't already own it! Happy looking!
Discounts I will take 1 dollar off every 10 spent!
Special post discount! Spend 20 on my list get a Fandango code good for 8 dollars off a Shazam movie ticket! 2 available! Or receive a Vudu code good for 5 dollars off a free movie rental! 1 available!
3 From Hell 4K VD/IT $5
12 Rounds 2 HD MA $3
13 Hours HD VD/IT $3
31 HD VD $3
101 Dalmatians 1961 HD GP $4
101 Dalmatians 2 London Adventure HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4
5 Film Collection Operation Revenge (John Wick/Anna/Hitman's Bodyguard/The Protege/American Assassin) 4K Vudu $11
A Gift From Bob 4K VD $5
A Good Dinosaur HD GP $4
A Haunted House 2 HD Itunes $3
A Quiet Place 4K iTunes $4.50 HD VD/IT $3.50
Admission Itunes $4
Agent Game 4K VD/IT $5
Aladdin 1992 HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Aladdin 2019 4k MA $5 HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Alex Cross HD VD/IT $3.50
Alexander Terrible Horrible No Good Bad Day HD GP $3.50
Alien HD MA $4.50
Aliens HD MA $4.50
Aliens 3 HD MA $4.50
Alien Covenant HD MA $2
Alien Prometheus HD MA $2
Alien Resurrection HD MA $4.50
Alita Battle Angel 4K MA $6
All Is Bright HD VD $4
All The Money In The World SD MA $2
Aloha HD MA $4.50
Alvin Chipmunks Road Chip HD MA $4
American Assassin HD VD/IT $3.50
American Reunion HD MA $3.50
American Sicario HD VD/IT $3.50
Amsterdam HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
An American Girl Lea To The Rescue ITunes $2
Anchorman 2 HD VD/IT $3
Angel Heart 4K Vudu $5.50
Angry Birds HD MA $4.50
Annihilation HD Vudu $3.50
Ant-Man And Wasp HD GP $4
Arctic HD MA $4
Assassination Nation HD MA $4
Atomic Blonde HD MA $3.50
August Osage County HD MA $4
Avengers HD GP $4
Avengers Age Of Ultron 4K MA $6 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $2
Avengers Endgame HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Avengers Infinity War 4K MA $4 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Bad Grandpa HD VD/IT $3.50
Bad Mom's HD MA $4 HD iTunes $3.50
Banshees Of Inisherin HD MA $4.50
Batman/Superman. Battle Of The Super Sons HD MA $5
Batman The Batman 2022 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4.50
Battleship HD MA $4
Beauty And The Beast 2017 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Beauty And The Beast 1991 HD GP $4
Beirut HD MA $3.50
Belly 4K Vudu $6
Big Hero 6 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Birdman HDMA $4
Black Panther 4K MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $2
Blind Side HD MA $4
Bobs Burgers HD GP $3
Book Club HD VD/IT $4
Book Of Life HD MA $4
Boss Baby HD MA $3.50
Bourne Legacy HD MA $2.50
Boyhood HD VD/IT $3.50
Braveheart 4K VD/IT $5.50
Brian Banks HD MA $4
Brides Maids Itunes $3.50
Bring It On Worldwide Cheersmack HD MA $3.50
Bullet To The Head HD MA $4
BumbleBee 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/IT $3.50
Cake HD MA $5
Captain America Civil War HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain America First Avenger 4K MA $6 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain America Winter Soldier 4K MA $6 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Captain Marvel HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $2.50
Captain Phillips HD MA $4
Cars HD GP $4
Cars 3 HDMA/4KIT $3 HD GP $1.50
Centurion Itunes $4
Christopher Robin HD GP $4
Chronicles Of Narnia Voyage Dawn Treader iTunes $4
Cinderella 1950 HD MA $4
Cinderella 2019 HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Clear And Present Danger 4K VD $5.50
Clifford 2021 HD VD/IT $3.50
Coco HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Colombiana HD MA $4.50
Crawl HD VD/IT $3.50
Criminal HD VD/IT $4.50
Croods HD MA $4
Cruella HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Daddys Home HD VD/IT $2.50
Dallas Buyers Club Itunes $4
Danny Collins HD Itunes $3
Dark Skies HD VD $4.50
Darkest Hour HD MA $4.50
DC Superpets HD MA $5
Deadpool HDMA/4KIT $3
Deadpool 2 HDMA/4KIT $4
Death On The Nile HD GP $3.50
Deepwater Horizon 4K VD/IT $5.50
Despicable Me 4K MA $6
Despicable Me 2 4K MA $6 4K Itunes/HD MA $4.50
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Dog Days HD MA $3.50 HD iTunes $3
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Itunes $3
Diary Of A Wimpy Kid Long Haul HD MA $3
Die Hard HD MA $5
Die Hard 2 Die Harder HD MA $5
Die Hard 3 With A Vengeance HD MA $5
Die Hard A Good Day To Die Hard HD MA $4.50
Die Hard Live Free Or Die Hard HD MA $4.50
Dirty Grandpa HD VD/IT $3.50
Disney Nature Monkey Kingdom HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Disney Nature Bears HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Disney Short Films Collection HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Divergent HDVD/4KIT $2
Divergent Insurgent HDVD/4KIT $2
Django Unchained HD VD $4
Doctor Strange 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Doctor Strange Multiverse 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $2.50
Dolittle HD MA $4
Dom Hemingway HD MA $4.50
Doom Unrated 4K MA $5.50
Downsizing HD VD/IT $3.50
Dracula Untold HD MA $4
Draft Day HD VD/IT $4
Dragon Blade HD VD $4
Dragon Heart 3 HD MA $2.50
Dying Of The Light HD Vudu $4
Dumbo 2019 HD MA $3.50
Dune HD MA $4
Early Man HD VD/IT $4
Edge Of Tomorrow 4K MA $6 HD MA $4
El Chicano HD MA $3
Elvis HD MA $5
Elysium / District 9 HD MA $7
Empire Of Light HD MA $6 HD GP $5
Encanto HD GP $4
Enders Game 4K VD $5 HD VD/IT $3.50
Enough Said HD MA $4
Epic HD MA $4.50 HD iTunes $4
Escape Plan HD Vudu $3.50
Eternals 4K MA $6 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
Exodus Gods And Kings HD MA $3.50
Expendables 2 HD VD/IT $1.50
Family Guy It's A Trap Itunes $3
Far From The Madding Crowd HD MA $5
Fast And Furious 5 HD MA $2
Fast And Furious 6 HD MA $1
Fast And Furious 7 HD MA $2
Fast And Furious 8 4K MA $2.50 HD MA $1
Fast And The Furious 8 Film Collection HD MA $12
Father Figures HD MA $3.50
Fault In Our Stars HD MA $2.50
Ferdinand HD MA $4.50
Fifty Shades 6 Film Collection Unrated/Theatrical HD MA $9
Fifty Shades Darker Unrated 4K MA $4 HD MA $3
Fifty Shades Freed HD MA $4
Fifty Shades Of Grey Unrated 4K MA $4 HD MA $1.50
Finding Dory HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $1.50
Finding Nemo 4K MA $6 HDMA/4KIT $5 HD GP $3.50
Flight HD Itunes $4
Florence Foster Jenkins HD VD/IT $4
Fox And The Hound 2 HD MA $5
Free Guy HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Frozen HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Frozen 2 HDMA/4KIT $4.50 HD GP $3
Fury HD MA $4
Gallows HD MA $3.50
Game Of Thrones The House Of The Dragon S1 HD Vudu $6
Gamer 3D HD VD/IT$4
Gemini Man 4K VD/IT $5
Ghost Rider Spirit Of Vengeance HD MA $4.50
Ghostbusters 1 HD MA $4
Ghostbusters 2 HD MA $4
Ghostbusters Answer The Call HD MA $4
Ghosts Season 1 HD Vudu $6
GI Joe Retaliation HD VD/IT $3
Gifted HD MA $5
Girl In The Spider's Web HD MA $4
Girls Trip HD MA $3.50
Gloria Bell HD Vudu $4
Gods Not Dead 2 HD MA $4
Great Gatsby HD MA $3
Green Rush 4K VD $5
Guardians Of The Galaxy 4K MA $6 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Guardians Of The Galaxy Volume 2 4K MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $1.50
Hacksaw Ridge HD VD/IT $3.50
Halloween 2018 4K MA $5 HD MA $4
Halloween Ends 4K MA $6
Halloween Kills 4K MA $5
Hannibal Season 3 HD Vudu $5
Hansel And Gretel Witch Hunters HD VD/IT $4
Happening 2008 HD MA $4.50
Hardcore Henry HD VD $3
Hell Or High Water HD VD/IT $3.50
Hellboy 2019 HD VD/IT $4
Hercules 2014 HD VD/IT $4
Hercules Disney Animated HD GP $5
Hillsong Let Hope Rise HD MA $2
Hitman Agent 47 HD MA $4
Hitman's Bodyguard HD VD/IT $2.50
Hocus Pocus HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
Home Alone 4K MA $6 HD MA $4
Home Alone 2 HD MA $4
Hope Springs HD MA $4
Hostiles 2018 HD VD/IT $4
Hot Fuzz HD MA $4
Hotel Mumbai HD MA $3.50
How The Grinch Stole Christmas 2000 HD MA $5
How To Train Your Dragon 3 Film Collection HD MA $11
Hunger Games 4 Film Collection HDVD $8
Hunger Games 4K VD/IT $5 4K Itunes/HDVD $3
Hunger Games Catching Fire 4K VD/IT $5 4K Itunes/HDVD $3
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 1 4K VD/IT $5 4KIT/HDVD $3
Hunger Games Mockingjay Part 2 HDVD $3
I Can Only Imagine HD VD/IT $4
I Feel Pretty Itunes $3
Imitation Game HD VD $3.50
Incarnate Itunes $3
Incredibles 2 HDMA/4KIT $5 HD GP $4
Indiana Jones 3 Last Crusade 4k VD/IT $6
Infinite HD VD/IT $5
Inside Out 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Interstellar 4K VD/IT $5
Into The Woods HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Iron Man 3 4K MA $5 HDMA/4KIT $3.50 HD GP $2
Jack And Jill HD MA $4
Jack Reacher Never Go Back HD VD/IT $3.50
Jack Ryan Shadow Recruit 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD VD/IT $3
James Bond Skyfall HD VD $2
James Bond Spectre HD VD/IT $3
Jarhead 2 HD MA $3.50
Jason Bourne HD MA $4
Jaws 4K MA $6
Jigsaw 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD VD/IT $3.50
John Wick HD VD/IT $3
John Wick 1 And 2 Combo HD VD $5
John Wick 2 HD/IT $3
John Wick 3 HD VD/IT $3
Journey To The West Conquering The Demons HD VD $4.50
Jumanji 2 Film Welcome Jungle/Next Level HD MA $7
Jungle Book 1967 HD MA $5 HD GP $4.50
Jungle Cruise 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2
Jurassic Dominion Extended/Theatrical 2 Film HD MA $5
Jurassic Park 5 Film Collection HD MA $8
Jurassic Park The Lost World HD MA $2
Jurassic World 4K MA $4 HD MA $2
Jurassic World Dominion HD MA $5
Jurassic World Fallen Kingdom HD MA $2
Justin Bieber Never Say Never Itunes $1.50
Katy Perry Part Of Me HD VD/IT $3 SD VD/IT $1
Kick-Ass 4K VD/IT $5.50
Killer Elite iTunes $3
Killing Lincoln HD MA $4.50
Killing Them Softly HD VD $4.50
Kin HD VD/IT $3.50
Kingsman The Golden Circle 4K MA $5.50
Kingsman The Kings Man 4K MA $5.50 HD GP $3.50
Kingsman The Secret Service HD MA $4
Knowing 4K VD $5
Kung Fu Panda 3 HD MA $4.50
La La Land 4K VD/IT $5 HD Vudu $3.50
Lady And The Tramp 1955 HD MA $5 HD GP $4.50
Legend Of Hercules 4K VD/IT $5.50
Leprechaun 7 Film Collection HD Vudu $12
Leprechaun Origins HD VD $3
Les Miserables HD MA $3.50
Let Me Explain Kevin Hart HD VD/IT $1.50
Let's Be Cops HD MA $3.50
Life As We Know It Itunes $3.50
Life Of Pi HD MA $3.50 HD Itunes $3
Lightyear 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Lilo And Stitch HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
Lilo And Stitch 2 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Lion HD VD $4
Lion King 1 1/2 HD MA $6 HD GP $5.50
Lion King 1994 4K MA $6 4KIT/HDMA $5 HD GP $4
Lion King 2019 HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Little Mermaid 4K MA $5.50 4KIT/HDMA $4.50 HD GP $4
Little Women 2019 HDMA $4
Logan HDMA/4KIT $3.50
Lone Survivor HD MA $2
Longest Ride HD MA $2.50
Lorax 2012 HD MA $4
Lords Of Salem HD VD $4.50
Lyle Lyle Crocodile HD MA $4.50
Luca HD GP $3
Lucy HD MA $3.50
Madagascar 3 HD MA $3
Madea Big Happy Family Itunes $2.50
Madea Christmas HD VD $3
Madea's Witness Protection VD $3 Itunes $2.50
Maleficent 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $2.50
Maleficent Mistress Of Evil HDMA/4KIT $4 HD GP $3
Mama Itunes $3.50
Marine 4 HD MA $3
Mary Poppins HD GP $2.50
Mary Poppins Returns 4K MA $5 HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Mechanic Resurrection HD VD/IT $3.50
Megamind HD MA $5.50
Megan Leavey HD MA $3
Men In Black 3 HD MA $4.50
Midway 2019 4K VD/IT $6
Minions 2 Film Collection Minions/Rise Of Gru HD MA $9
Minions 4K MA $6 HD MA $4.50
Minions Rise Of Gru 4K MA $6.50 HD MA $5.50
Missing Link HD MA $4.50
Mission Impossible 1 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD VD/4KIT $4.50
Mission Impossible 2 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD Vudu $4
Mission Impossible 3 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD Vudu $4
Mission Impossible 4 Ghost Protocol 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/4KIT $4
Mission Impossible 5 Rogue Nation 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/4kIT $4
Mission Impossible 6 Fallout 4K VD/IT $5 HD VD/4KIT $4
Mitchell VS The Machines HD MA $5
Moana 4K MA $5.50 HDMA/IT4K $4.50 HD GP $3
Monster High Freaky Fusion HD MA $3
Monster High Great Scarrier Reef Itunes $3
Monster Trucks HD VD/IT $3.50
Monsters University HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4.50
Morbius 4K MA $6 HD MA $5
Mortal Instruments City Of Bones HD MA $4
Mortal Kombat 2021 4K MA $5
Mud HD VD/IT $4.50
Mulan HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Mulan 2 HD MA $5 HD GP $4
Mulan 2020 HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2
Night At The Museum 1-3 Film Collection HD MA $12
Nightmare Before Christmas HD GP $4
Ninja Assassin HD MA $4
Noah HD VD/IT $3
Norm Of The North HD VD/IT $4
Now You See Me HD VD/IT $2.50
Oblivion HD MA $4
Office Christmas Party HD VD/IT $3.50
Olaf Frozen Adventure HD GP $4.50
Onward HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2
Overdrive iTunes $3
Oz The Great And Powerful HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Pain And Gain HD Itunes $3.50
Paranormal Activity 2 HD VD/IT $3.50
Paranormal Activity 3 HD VD/IT $2.50
Paranormal Activity 5 Marked Ones HD VD/IT $3.50
Parental Guidance HD MA $3.50
Patriot Games 4K Vudu $5.50
Patriots Day HD VD/IT $3
Peanuts The Movie HD MA $3
Penguins Of Madagascar HD MA $3
Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters HD MA $4
Pet Semetary 2019 HD Itunes $3.50
Peter Pan 2 Return To Neverland HD MA $5.50 HD GP $4
Peter Rabbit 2 Film Collection HD MA $7.50
Petes Dragon 2016 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Pinocchio 1940 HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Pirates Of The Caribbean DMTNT HD MA $3 HD GP $2
Pitch Perfect 4K MA $5 HD MA $2.50
Pitch Perfect 2 4K MA $5 HD MA $2.50
Planes HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Planes Fire And Rescue HD GP $3.50
Planet Of The Apes "Dawn" HD MA $4
Planet Of The Apes "Rise" HD MA $4 ITunes $3
Planet Of The Apes "War" HD MA $4
Preacher Season 1 HD Vudu $5
Predator 2018 HD MA $3.50
Primal HD VD/IT $4.50
Public Enemies ITunes $4
Pulp Fiction 4K VD/IT $6
Queen Of Katwe HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Ralph Breaks The Internet HD GP $3
Rambo 5 Film Collection HD Vudu $14
Rambo 4K VD/IT $5.50
Rambo 3 4K VD/IT $5.50
Rambo First Blood 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD VD/IT $3.50
Rambo First Blood Part 2 4K VD/IT $5.50
Rambo Last Blood 4K VD/IT $5.50
Ramona And Beezus Itunes $4
Raya HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2
Red 2 HD VD/IT $2.50
Redemption HD VD $3.50
Rescuers HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Rescuers Down Under HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Requiem For A Dream 4K VD/IT $5.50
Ricki And The Flash HD MA $4
Ride Along iTunes $3
Ride Along 2 HD MA $3.50
Rio Itunes $3
Rio 2 HD MA $3.50
Robin Hood Disney HD MA $4 HD GP $3.50
Robin Hood 2018 HD VD $4
Robocop 2014 HD VD $4
Rock Dog 3 HD VD $5.50
Rocketman 4K VD/IT $5.50
Rocky HD VD $4
Rons Gone Wrong HD MA $3.50 HD GP $2
Rough Cut HD Itunes $4.50
Rush 2013 HD MA $4.50
Saban's Power Rangers 4K VD/IT $6 HD VD/IT $3.50
Safe HD VD/IT $3.50
Safe Haven iTunes $4
Safe House HD MA $4
Salmon Fishing In The Yemen HD MA $4
Same Kind Of Different As Me HD VD/IT $4
Samson HD MA $4
Saw The Complete Movie Collection Vudu $10
Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark 4K MA $5 HD VD/IT $4
Scream 2 4K VD/IT $5.50
Secret Life Of Walter Mitty HD MA $3.50
Selma HD VD/IT $3
Shang Chi HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Shark Tale HD MA $4.50
Shaun Of The Dead HD MA $4
Shaun The Sheep Movie HD Vudu $4
Sicario HD VD/IT $3.50
Sing 2 Film Collection HD MA $8
Sing HD MA $4
Sinister HD Itunes $4.50
Sisters Unrated HD MA $4
Skyscraper HD MA $3.50
Sleeping Beauty HD MA $5 HD GP $4.50
Snow White And The Huntsman HD MA $4
Snow White And The Seven Dwarves HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
Sonic The Hedgehog 4K VD/IT $6
Sony Movie Buff Pass Reward HD MA $4
Soul HD MA $4 HD GP $2
Southpaw HD VD $4
Spider-man Tobey 4K MA $6
Spider-man Amazing Spider-Man HD MA $4.50
Spider-man Amazing Spider-Man 2 HD MA $4.50
Spider-man Far From Home HD MA $3
Spider-man Homecoming 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $1
Spider-man Into The Spiderverse HD MA $5
Spider-man No Way Home HD MA $4.50
Spies In Disguise HD MA $4 HD GP $3
Spirit Stallion Of The Cimarron HD MA $5.50
Spontaneous VD/IT $4
Stand Up Guys HD VD $3.50
Star Trek 1 The Original Motion Picture 4K VD/IT $5
Star Trek 2 The Wrath Of Khan 4K VD/IT $5
Star Trek 3 The Search For Spock 4K VD/IT $5
Star Trek 4 The Voyage Home 4K VD/IT $5
Star Trek 2009 HDVD/4KIT $2.50
Star Trek Beyond HDVD/4KIT $2.50
Star Trek Into Darkness HDVD/4KIT $1.50
Star Wars Rogue One 4K MA $6 HD MA $4 HD GP $2.50
Star Wars Solo HD MA $4
Star Wars Ep 4 A New Hope HD GP $4.50
Star Wars Ep 5 Empire Strikes Back HD GP $4.50
Star Wars Ep 7 Force Awaken 4K MA $5 HD MA $2 HD GP $1
Star Wars Ep 8 The Last Jedi 4K MA $5 HD MA $2.50 HD GP $1.50
Star Wars Ep 9 Rise Of Skywalker HD GP $2.50
Storks HD MA $4
Straight Outta Compton 2 Film Unrated/Theatrical 4K MA $6
Strange World HD MA $5
Strawberry Shortcake Fun Under the Sun HD MA $4
Suburbicon HD VD/IT $3
Super 8 HD VD/IT $4
Superfly HD MA $3.50
Survive The Night HD VD/IT $4
Taken 2 HD MA $2.50
Tangled HDMA/4KIT $5 HD GP $4
Ted Unrated HD MA $2 Itunes $1.50
Ted Unrated 2 HD iTunes $3.50
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2014 HD VD/IT $3
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Out Of Shadows HD VD/IT $4
Terminator Dark Fate 4K VD/IT $4
The Art Of Self Defense HD MA $3.50
The Bad Guys HD MA $4.50
The Bank Job HD VD $4
The BFG HD GP $3
The Book Thief HD MA $4.50
The Cabin In The Woods HD VD/IT $4
The Croods HD MA $4
The Croods A New Age HD MA $4
The Curse Of La Llorona HD MA $3.50
The D Train HD VD/IT $4
The Day The Earth Stood Still Itunes $4
The Duff HD VD/IT $3.50
The Emoji Movie HD MA $3
The Family iTunes $4
The Five Year Engagement iTunes $4
The Girl In The Spiders Web HD MA $4
The Girl On The Train HD MA $3
The Good Dinosaur HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
The Greatest Showman HD MA $4
The Gunman HD MA $4
The Heat HD MA $4
The Hunt For Red October 4K Vudu $5.50
The Internship HD MA $4
The Iron Lady HD VD $4
The Last Witch Hunter HD VD/IT $4
The Legend Of Hercules HD VD/IT $3.50
The Legend Of Tarzan HD MA $3
The Lost City 4K VD/IT $5.50 HD VD/IT $4.50
The Lucky One HD MA $3
The Menu HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
The Mummy Scorpion King HD MA $4
The Nut Job HD MA $3.50
The Nut Job 2 HD MA $4
The Possession HD VD/IT $4
The Post HD MA $3.50
The Purge 4 Film HD A $10
The Purge HD MA $1.50
The Purge Anarchy 4K MA $4.50 HD MA $3
The Purge Forever Purge HD MA $4.50
The Raven Itunes $4.50
The Revenant HD MA $4
The Ring HD VD/IT $4
The Rite Itunes $4
The Santa Clause 4K IT/HD MA $5 HD GP $4
The Santa Clause 2 4K IT/HD MA $5 HD GP $4
The Santa Clause 3 4K IT/HD MA $5 HD GP $4
The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel HD MA $4
The Secret Life Of Pets 4K MA $5 HD MA $3
The Secret Life Of Pets 2 HD MA $4
The Shack HD VD/IT $4
The Spirit iTunes $4
The Sum Of All Fears 4K VD/IT $5.50
The Sword In The Stone HD GP $5
The Three Stooges The Movie Itunes $4
The Time Travelers Wife SD MA $1.50
The Vanishing HD VD $4
The Warlords HD VD $4
The Warriors Way iTunes $4
The Wedding Ringer HD MA $4
The Wolf On Wall Street HD VD/IT $4
Think Like A Man HD MA $4
This Means War HD ITunes $4
Thor 4K MA $6 4K IT/HD MA $4.50 HD GP $4
Thor Dark World 4K MA $6 4K IT/HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
Thor Love And Thunder 4K MA $5.50 HD MA $4 HD GP $2.50
Thor Ragnarok 4K MA $5 4K IT/HD MA $3 HD GP $1
Tinkerbell NeverBeast HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3.50
Tinkerbell Pirate Fairy HD MA $4.50
Tomb Raider 2001 4K VD/IT $5.50
Top Gun HD VD/IT $4.50
Total Recall 1990 4K VD/IT $5.50
Tower Heist Itunes $4
Toy Story 4KIT/HDMA $4.50 HD GP $4
Toy Story 2 HD GP $4
Toy Story 4 4KIT/HDMA $4.50 HD GP $3
Toy Story Of Terror HD MA $5
Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen 4K VD/IT $6
Transformers Age Extinction 4K VD/IT $6 HD VD $3.50
Transformers Dark Of The Moon 4K VD/IT $6 HD VD $3.50
Transformers The Last Knight 4K VD/IT $6 4K Itunes $5.50 HD VD $3.50
Trauma Center HD VD/IT $3.50
Trolls HD MA $4
Trolls World Tour HD MA $4
True Story HD MA $5
Turbo HD MA $3.50
Turning Red HD MA $4.50 HD GP $3
Twilight Breaking Dawn Part 2 HD VD/IT $1
Uncle Drew HD VD/IT $4
Underworld 3 Film Collection HD MA $10
Underworld Awakening HD MA $3
Underworld Blood Wars 4K MA $5
Universal Rewards March 2023 HD MA $3
Van Wilder 4K Vudu $5.50
Venom HD MA $3
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My little tale:
I have in the past few months been working on several fics. One I ended after 8 chapters. One I am near completing at 13 or 14 chapters. Another I am up to 38 chapters, but will end that fic within the next two chapters. Writing during what free time I have outside work is not allowing me to work on purging my house, a project I started but set aside when I got the urge to write fanfic again. Stats have been adequate on some of the fics, not stellar. For a while there, they were being commented on by a couple people who posted regularly, but then they stopped and it's quiet again. Fun for awhile, right? I'm just tired. I love the canon characters so thought, when I get the impulse, I'll do one shots on tumblr, Just to keep my fingers on the keyboard, but I have stuff to do around the house. So what do y'all do when you lose interest, feel neglected, or just need to get back to living life again? Not be stuck sitting at a computer pouring out your soul for readers who don't seem to care enough to say "boo"? I know, it sounds like sour grapes, but I do have things to do lol

GOOD AFTERNOON READERS, MY NAME IS CHIZZY CHAD ROGERS AKA THE WHITE RABBIT OR THE DXY RAIN MAN. THEY CALL ME THE RAIN MAN BASED ON MY ABILITY TO ASCERTAIN KEEN OBSERVATIONS FROM STUDYING THE CURRENCY MARKET CHARTS. I HOLD STOCKS AND CRYPTO AS FAR AS VALUE INVESTING GOES BUT I AM A BONAFIDE CURRENCY SPECULATOR, IT IS HOW I PLAN TO FUND AS MUCH VALUE INVESTING AS MY SOUL DESIRES.
I STARTED TRADING CURRENCY FOUR YEARS AGO, I SPENT FOUR YEARS JUST CRASHING THE ACCOUNTS AND STUDYING THRU HINDSIGHT WHY IT DID WHAT IT DID, AND WHY I DID WHAT I DID. NOW WE ARE A FEW INCHES AWAY FROM THE GLORY WE SOUGHT OUT AFTER AND SO WE ARE STARTING A YOUTUBE TRADING CHANNEL WITH PODCASTS AND SKITS TO ILLUSTRATE THE PROPER TRADING STRATEGY. BEFORE I STARTED TRADING I WAS A FILMMAKER SO THE CONTENT WILL BE FROM AN ACTUAL ARTIST WHO LEARNED TO TRADE IN ORDER TO FUND HIS ART.
HOW WE ARE GOING TO CONDUCT THIS SUB REDDIT IS TO CONTINOUSLY POST THE FOUR HORSEMEN FOR TWO DIFFERENT CHARTS AT A TIME. WE WILL CHECK THE FOUR HORSEMEN ON BOTH CHARTS. FOR EXAMPLE, I TRADE SILVER PRIMARILY. SILVER PAYS MY BILLS. FOR EVERY 10 PIPS OR 100 POINTS OR 10 CENTS IN PRICE LEVEL SILVER MOVES IN THE WAGED DIRECTION, THE PROFIT IS $10 PER TRADE. I TRADE 0.05-0.10 LOT SIZES. THAT IS 50 CENTS TO $1 PER POINT. THERE ARE TEN POINTS PER PIP. PIP MEANS "POINTS IN PERCENTAGES."
https://www.investing.com/indices/usdollar-technical
​
THIS IS THE SITE I USE TO CONFIRM MY ENTRY AND EXIT POINTS. INVESTING.COM TECHNICALS CHART. I AM LOOKING AT THE FOUR HORSEMEN OR THE FOUR MUSKETEERS. THE VERY FIRST INDICATORS FOUND ON THE TECHNICALS TAB WHEN YOU SCROLL DOWN PAST THE MOVING AVERAGES BAR CHART. THEY ARE IN THE FOLLOWING ORDER: 1. THE RSI. 2. THE STOCH. 3. THE STOCH RSI. 4. THE MACD.
WHATEVER PAIR YOU ARE TRADING, YOU HAVE TO ALSO CONFIRM YOUR ENTRY AND EXIT BASED ON THE DOLLAR INDEX, THE DXY. ANY PAIR YOU ARE TRADING, IF IT HAS USD IN IT, THEN IT MUST BE TRADED USING THE DOLLAR INDEX TECHNICALS. THE FOUR INDICATORS ONLY EVER HAVE THREE SIGNALS, THEY ONLY SHOW ONE AT A TIME. WHEN YOU SEE THE HOURLY, I USE THE HOURLY RSI ON DXY CHART AS WELL AS XAGUSD, SILVER'S CHART.
THE RSI WILL ONLY EVER SAY OVER BOUGHT OVER 70, OVER SOLD UNDER 30 AND NEUTRAL NEAR 40-50. THE HOURLY CHART WILL SHOW YOU WHICH WAY THE PRICE WILL OVER EXTEND. THIS IS YOUR ENGULFING CANDLE. THE HOURLY CHART IS THE ENGULFING CANDLE YOU HEAR ABOUT. WHATEVER THE HOURLY MACD CANDLE IS, THIS IS YOUR ENGULFING CANDLE. LOOK FOR THIS ENGULF PAST THE HOURLY 200 MA OR MOVING AVERAGE. YOU CAN SEE IT RIGHT ABOVE THE RSI ON THE WEBSITE PROVIDED.
YOU WANT TO CHECK THE HOURLY RSI AND MACD FOR XAGUSD AND FOR DXY IN THIS EXAMPLE. IF YOU TRADE FIAT OR ENERGY LIKE OIL OR NATURAL GAS, IT IS THE SAME STRATEGY. PICK YOUR PAIR, FOR THIS EXAMPLE WE WILL SAY YOU AS WELL PAY YOUR BILLS WITH SILVER PROFITS, HERE WE GO.

1. STEP ONE IS GO TO INVESTING.COM TECHNICALS TWICE, ONE FOR XAGUSD OR GBPUSD AND ONE FOR THE DXY.
   
2. STEP TWO IS YOU CHECK THE HOURLY TAB FOR BOTH CHARTS, THIS IS THE ENTIRE PAIR, WITHOUT BOTH CHARTS YOU HAVE HALF OF THE INFORMATION AND IF IT'S NOT THE DXY YOU'RE OBSERVING, YOU HAVE THE WRONG SET OF INFORMATION BEING PROVIDED, WHICH YOUR PROFITS AND LOSSES ACCOUNT WILL SHORTLY REFLECT.
   
   1. STEP THREE IS YOU CHECK THE MACD ON BOTH CHARTS TO SEE THE ENGULF BEING MADE. THE SILVER HOURLY MACD IS NOW GREEN FOR BLUE BULLS TO BUY. THE DXY HOURLY MACD IS NOW RED FOR THE RED BEARS TO SELL OR SALE. ONCE YOU KNOW YOUR HOURLY ENGULFING, YOU KNOW THE SHORT IS THE OPPOSITE OF THE HOURLY MACD. YOU ONLY WANT TO SHORT THE MACD CANDLE WHEN THE DXY HOURLY RSI IS AT OVER BOUGHT OVER 70 OR NEUTRAL BETWEEN 40-50.
   2. STEP FOUR IS TO REALIZE THE NEUTRAL INDICATOR STANDS FOR "THE HOURLY MACD EXTENSION IS COMING". THE DXY AND XAGUSD CHART'S HOURLY MACD ARE OPPOSITE. NEUTRAL FOR THE HOURLY SILVER CHARTS MEANS "THOSE BUYERS ARE RELOADING UP ON THEM BUYS YA'LL BOYS." NEUTRAL FOR THE DXY HOURLY CHART MEANS "THEM BEARS ARE RELOADING UP ON THOSE SALES YA'LL BOYS."
   3. IF THE MACD HOURLY IS GREEN, THAT IS A BLUE BUY AND HERE IS YOUR MOVE. OVERSOLD RSI YOU BUY IT, AT NEUTRAL YOU BUY IT AND AT OVERSOLD OVER 70 RSI HOURLY YOU SELL IT. IN THIS EQUATION, YOU ONLY HAVE ONE SELL TRADE, ONE SHORT AND IT IS OVER BOUGHT OVER 70 HOURLY RSI INDICATOR. BEFORE YOU EXECUTE THIS TRADE, YOU MUST CONFIRM IT WITH THE HOURLY DXY RSI. THE DXY IS $103.30. XAGUSD PER OUNCE IS $21.600. THE DOLLAR IS OBVIOUSLY ORE EXPENSIVE THAN SILVER, BUT IT IS NOT ALWAYS SO OBVIOUSLY AT FIRST. YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE LEAD OF THE BIGGER AND MORE EXPENSIVE PREDATOR IN THE JUNGLE MARKET.
   4. BEFORE YOU BUY SILVER, YOU WANT YOUR TWO RSI INDICATORS TO REFLECT THESE VALUES. A BUY ON XAGUSD WOULD MEAN THE HOURLY MACD IS GREEN AND THE HOURLY RSI IS NEUTRAL, INDICATING AN EXPANSION TOWARDS THE HOURLY MACD OR THE CANDLE. THE MACD IS THE MOST IMPORTANT INDICATOR ONLY BECAUSE IT TELLS YOU WHAT YOUR SHORT IS. FOR A SILVER BUY I WANT TO SEE THE HOURLY DXY RSI @ OVERSOLD OR AT LEAST UNDER 30 WITH AN OVERSOLD ON THE STOCH OR THE STOCH RSI. FOR A SILVER BULL TRADE, I'M LOOKING FOR THE HOURLY XAGUSD CHART TO REFLECT THE RSI OF NEUTRAL AND THE HOURLY DXY RSI TO REFLECT AN OVER SOLD. THESE TWO HOURLY RSI VS THE MACD INDICATIONS WILL DIRECT YOU TO THE PROFITS. THE XAGUSD CHART WILL GO NEUTRAL FIRST, TO TEMPT YOU, IN ORDER TO SNATCH ALL OF YOUR HARD EARNED BREAD FASTER THAN AN ONLINE TRANSACTION. THIS IS THE PUMP FAKE. THIS IS DEFENDING KOBE BEAN BRYANT THE GOAT. HE WILL HIT YOU ABOUT THREE TIMES WITH THAT SUPER TRIPLE PUMP FAKE THEN ACE THE SHOT AND DRAW THE FOUL. YOU'RE A ROOKIE THEN.
   5. WHEN YOU WANT TO SELL SILVER, YOU SELL IT ONLY WHEN THE DOLLAR INDEX 5M AND 15M CHARTS ARE SELLING AS WELL. YOU SELL SILVER WHEN THE DOLLAR IS SELLING BC THE DOLLAR INDEX RUNS THE WHOLE SHOW WHEN OPPOSED TO $21 SILVER. $103 VS $21...WHO WILL YOU BET ON? BET ON THE TOP DOG IN THE YARD. THERE IS A DOG FIGHT GOING ON IN THE MARKET AGAINST THE PIT BULLS AND THE YORKIES AND THIS MAN YOLOED HIS RENT CHECK ON THE TOY DOG. HE PUT ALL OF HIS MONEY ON THE CUTE AND FUZZY ONE. CAN YOU IMAGINE THE SANITY REPORT OF A MAN WHO BETS ON A POODLE TO KILL THE PIT BULL? SORRY FOR THE IMAGERY BUT IT GETS THE POINT ACROSS DOESN'T IT? YOU COME BACK TO FIND NOTHING BUT FREE MARGIN BLOOD AND NEGATIVE GUTS IN THE ACCOUNT AND YOU'RE WONDERING WHERE YOU BREAD WENT...IN THE BELLY OF THE RED NOSE.
   6. WHEN YOU WANT TO SELL SILVER YOU ARE LOOKING FOR THE HOURLY XAGUSD RSI TO SAY OVER BOUGHT OVER 70. YOU ALSO NEED THE HOURLY DXY RSI TO SAY OVER BOUGHT OVER 70 OR NEUTRAL. NEUTRAL MEANS TWO DIFFERENT THINGS IN THIS EQUATION BC THE HOURLY MACD DIFFER. WHEN THE DXY 15M CHART IS SELLING THEN YOU STOP SILVER BUYS AND SELL SILVER SILVER MUST COPY CAT THE 15M DXY CHART. IT IS MONKEY SEE AND MONKEY DO AS WELL AS MUSICAL CHAIRS WITH A BUNCH OF MONKEYS. IF THE HOURLY DXY MOVING AVERAGES CHART IS ALL RED AND YOU SEE A GREEN POP UP, YOUR BUY IS ON THE WAY FOR SILVER. SELL SILVER WHEN THE DXY 15M IS SELLING, UNTIL YOU SEE A BUY SIGNAL ON THE DXY 15M MOVING AVERAGES CHART ON INVESTING.COM.
   7. IF I WANTED TO SELL SILVER, I WOULD BE LOOKING FOR THE DXY 15M TO BE SELLING, I WOULD BE LOOKING FOR THE FIRST BUY SIGNAL ON THE MOVING AVERAGES TO POP UP AFTER HOURS OF THE 15M BEING ALL GREEN. YOU ARE WAITING FOR IT TO MOVE TO AN AVERAGE ON THE 5HR CHART POSSIBLY IF IT MOVES PAST THE HOURLY MA200. YOU WOULDN'T SELL UNTIL THE HOURLY 200MA GETS PUSHED PAST IT THEN RETURNS HOURS LATER. YOU HAVE TO FOLLOW THE PRICE FROM CHART TO CHART, SEE HOW FAR DOWN THE NEXT CHART IT MOVES BEFORE IT LOSES POWER AND RETURNS TO THE HOURLY 200MA.
   8. A SELL EQUATION FOR SILVER LOOKS LIKE THIS TO ME...DXY HOURLY MACD IS RED SO THE RSI MUST EITHER SAY OVER BOUGHT OR NEUTRAL. THE BUY EQUATION FOR SILVER LOOKS LIKE THIS TO ME...THE DXY HOURLY MACD IS RED SO THE RSI IS TO BE AT OVER SOLD HOURLY BEFORE BUYING. THIS IS JUST THE FIRST CONFIRMATION BUT IF THE DOLLAR INDEX REFLECTS IT THEN IT IS TRUE. CONFIRM WITH BOTH CHARTS. HERE IS HOW BOTH CHARTS SHOULD READ IN BOTH EXAMPLES.
   9. XAGUSD BUY TRADE = WHEN DXY MACD IS RED AND XAG MACD IS GREEN. BUY SILVER WHEN HOURLY SILVER SAYS NEUTRAL AND THE DXY RSI HOURLY REFLECTS AN OVERSOLD.

​

1. XAGUSD SALES TRADE = WHEN DXY MACD IS RED AND XAG MACD IS GREEN. YOU SELL SILVER WHEN EITHER THE 15M DXY SUMMARY SAYS SELL OR STRONG SELL OR WAIT UNTIL XAG HOURLY RSI IS OVER BOUGHT AND THE DXY HOURLY RSI IS AT NEUTRAL.
   
2. REMEMBERING NEUTRAL MEANS RELOADING ON THE HOURLY MACD. WHEN SILVER SAYS IT IS NEUTRAL IT IS PREPARING TO EXPAND. REMEMBERING NEUTRAL FOR THE SILVER HOURLY CHART IS A BUY INDICATOR BUT BEFORE IT CAN BUY THE DXY HOURLY RSI MUST BE AT OVERSOLD...THE ONE BUY THE HOURLY BEARISH RED MACD CANDLE ALLOWS. THE HOURLY MACD CANDLE OF GREEN ONLY ALLOWS ONE SELL AND IT IS AT RSI HOURLY OVER BOUGHT. OVER SOLD AND NEUTRAL IN THIS SITUATION IS A DOUBLE BUY INDICATOR. THE HOURLY MACD CANDLE OF RED BEAR HEADS ONLY ALLOWS ONE BUY AND AT THE HOURLY RSI OF OVER SOLD. OVER BOUGHT AND NEUTRAL ARE THE TWO SALES FOR A MACD RED FORMATION.
   
   1. IF THIS STRATEGY EARNS YOU PROFIT THEN CASH APP ME @ $SILVERBURGER FOR $10-$100 BC WE JUST SHARED HOW WE EARN 1000% PROFIT IN 12 HOURS, 2000% PROFIT DAILY. THIS WAS PRETTY THOROUGH AS AN INTRODUCTION. NOW WE CAN JUST START LINKING THE CHARTS. I WILL BE LINKING RANDOM PAIRS OTHER PEOPLE MAY TRADE TO SHOW IT TO THEM ON THEIR LEVEL OF INTEREST. WE WILL CONSTANLY BE POSTING WHAT THE RSI AND MACD ARE DOING ALONG WITH THE STOCHASTIC TWINS, THE GHOST TWINS FROM THE MATRIX RELOADED IS WHAT ER CALL THEM. WHOSEVER SIDE THE GHOST TWINS ARE ON WILL BE THE WINNERS, THEY MAKE THE DIFFERENCE. THANK YOU ALL FOR CHECKING OUT THIS CONTENT. THIS SCRIPT WILL BE USED IN MY FIRST YOUTUBE TRADING VIDEO FOR THE PODCAST.

POST TWO ON REDDIT DXYRSISPOT
THIS IS LIKE A POLICE SCANNER FOR THE RSI AND MACD HOURLY DXY VS WHATEVER YOU ARE ACTUALLY TRADING AGAINST THE DOLLAR. JUST POST WHATEVER YOU TRADE AND POST THE DXY RSI HOURLY AS WELL OR CHECK OUR LAST POST OF IT. WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT THE DOLLAR IS DOING, WE DO NOT HAVE A TRADE.
​
POST THREE ON REDDIT DXYRSISPOT
​
https://www.investing.com/currencies/xag-usd-technical
https://www.investing.com/indices/usdollar-technical
​
SILVER IS READY TO RELOAD UP ON THEM BUYS AND THE DXY HOURLY RSI CONCURS, THEY ARE CONGRUENT. WE HAVE CONGRUENCE PEOPLE BETWEEN THE DOLLAR INDEX AND THE XAGUSD SLIPPERY CHART. WE HAVE A VERY GOOD GRIP ON THE HOURLY EXPANSION FOR XAGUSD. DXY BUS ON THE WAY FROM OVERSOLD TO NEUTRAL OR OVERBOUGHT HOURLY RSI. HOURLY RSI XAG BUS EN ROUTE FROM NEUTRAL TO OVERBOUGHT. BOTH BUSES MUST REACH THEIR DESTINATIONS AT THE SAME TIME BEFORE ANY PASSENGERS LEAVE THE BUS TO ENTER THE NEXT ONE. EVER SAW THE 1994 FILM "SPEED"? THANK YOU ALL.
RIGHT AS I WAS GETTING THE DXY LINK TO POST IN HERE AS WELL I SAW THE PRICE OF DXY JUMP FROM $103.29 TO $103.34...GOOD SIGN.
RSI(14)31.683Sell
​
POST FOUR REDDIT DXYRSISPOT
RSI(14)31.683Sell
​
POST #5 REDDIT

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE CURRENCY TRADERS AND SPECULATORS 

EARLIER TODAY, WE CAUGHT THE DXY CHART HOURLY RSI AT 23 OVERSOLD OR @ 23 OVER SOLD.
AT THIS POINT, THE XAGUSD HOURLY RSI CHART WAS AT 53 NEUTRAL.
THE DXY CONTINUED IN THE HOURLY MACD DIRECTION OF BEARISH SENTIMENT WHILE ALL OF THE LOWER CHARTS UNDER HOURLY WERE REFLECTING THE HOURLY NEUTRAL DXY RSI OR SILVER HOURLY NEUTRAL RSI.
THE HOURLY DXY WILL CONTINUE IN THE DIRECTION OF THE MACD CANDLE, WHICH IS RED AS OF NOW, UNTIL THE 5 MINUTE CHART AND 15 MINUTE RSI REFLECT AN OVER SOLD OR NEUTRAL RSI YOU CONTINUE IN THE DXY HOURLY MACD MOMENTUM.
YOU WANT THE TWO CHARTS FOR XAGUSD AND DXY FOR EACH TIME FRAME TO SHOW THE SAME SIGNALS. IT WILL BE THE HIGHER CHARTS THAT GIVE THE FIRST SIGNAL, THE HIGHER CHARTS BECOME THE LOWER CHARTS. THE LOWER CHARTS DON'T BECOME THE HIGHER CHARTS. I USED TO THINK THIS. THINKING THE FIVE MINUTE CANDLE WILL DICTATE THE HOURLY CANDLE, NOT NECESSARILY, IF ONLY SO THE WORLD WAS THIS PERFECT.
​
POST #6 EVEN MORE VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE AFTER THE PIP
​
DXY CHART MACDS
30M
HOURLY
FIVE HOUR
FOLLOW THE 30M-60M DXY MACD AS YOUR SILVER TRADE.
COPY THE 30M-60M DXY MACD FOR ALL SILVER TRADES
​
FOR XAGUSD CHART ONLY WITH THIS SAME MEASUREMENT YOU WILL FOLLOW THE 30M AND 5 HOUR CHART FOR SILVER TO GET THIS SAME INFORMATION.
​
POST #7
​
https://www.investing.com/indices/usdollar-technical
​
WE SPOTTED THE 30M-60M TECH CHARTS RSI AND STOCH AND STOCH RSI INDIES, OR INDICATORS, AT OVER PURCHASED IN THE MACD DIRECTION FOR THE HOURLY AND HALF HOURLY. HOW ABOUT THAT NOW? THIS CHAT ROOM IS FOR TRADERS WHO DESERVE THE SECRETS AFTER FOUR PLUS YEARS. IF YOU HAVE BEEN TRADING FOR LESS THAN FOUR YEARS, YOU DESERVE TO PAY FOR THIS. TRADING OUR SILVER UPPERCUT COMBO STRATEGY MEAL, YOU'LL SEE TENDIES. WE ALL LOVE THE TENDY TENDIES DO NOT WE?
IF YOU SPOT THE DXY DOLLAR INDEX HOURLY AND 30M CONGRUENT AND AT 100 OVERBOUGHT STOCH AND STOCH RSI AND OVER 70 OR 69...PLEASE TRADE THIS SIGNAL AND TELL US. WARN US OF YOU SEE THEM BOYS. THOSE ARE THEM BOYS. THE FEDS. JAKE. JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS. THAT'S A RETICULATED PYTHON ON THE CHARTS MAN, THOSE CANDLES. THESE CANDLES ARE THE BAIN OF YOUR ACCOUNT'S EXISTENCE.
THIS IS A CLASSIC AND TIMELESS SUB REDDIT. THE MOST PROFITABLE TRADE AND HOLD ASSET GIVER KNOWN TO MAN. WE PUT AMERICA ON THE DOLLAR INDEX. EVERY TIME I CRASHED AN ACCOUNT WITH HORRIBLE TRADES, IT WAS NOT BASED ON THE DOLLAR INDEX. I WASN'T FOLLOWING THE DOLLAR INDEX. I HAVE THE BEST CHANCE WITH THE DOLLAR INDEX. LET IT MATCH THE SECOND OR BASE CURRENCY CHART AS WELL.
YOU ARE LOOKING AT FOUR CHARTS. TWO OF THE CHARTS YOU ARE LOOKING AT ARE THE HOURLY AND HALF HOURLY. THE OTHER TWO CHARTS YOU ARE LOOKING AT EACH TIME FRAME, FOR BOTH CURRENCIES. IT IS A CURRENCY PAIR. THIS IS VITAL. TRADING SILVER AGAINST THE DOLLAR. SILVER IS $21.50. THE DOLLAR INDEX IS $103.50. SILVER MOVES TWICE AS MUCH PIPS AS SILVER DOES. SILVER IS XAG. XAG IS THE POODLE. THE DXY IS THE PIT BULL WITH A RED NOSE. WHO BETS THEIR RENT MONEY ON A POODLE? WHOSE POODLE IS THIS? IT WON'T BE A POODLE MUCH LONGER. WHOMEVER OWNS THIS MONEY MAKING POODLE BETTER GET HIM OUT OF THE RING BEFORE THE CHAINS COME OFF. THE DXY ARE THE CHAINS THAT CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER.
YOU HAVE THE BEST CHANCE WITH THE 30M-60M DXY INDEX AS YOUR MAIN INDICATOR. THE MACD. 30M MACD. 30M ROC. 30M ROC PRECEDES THE MACD'S ARRIVAL. LET THE 30M ROC BE GREEN FOR A BUY. LET THE ROC BE RED FOR A SALES. TREND DISCOUNTS IS ALL IT EVER IS. ONLY CHAMPIONS DESERVE THIS SITE. PRIVATE CLUB YOU CAN FIND OR BE INVITED TO. THE FLYEST CLUB ON THE WEB FOR MONEY MAKERS. WE ARE MONEY FAKERS. WE FAKE THE MONEY OUT TO TAKE THE MONEY HOW WE NEED TO MAKE THE MONEY. NOW WE RAKE THE FUNNY.
IF I WAS COMFORTABLE WITH TRADING AND NOT KNOWING ABOUT THE DOLLAR INDEX AND ITS VERY EXISTENCE, MAKES ME EXTREMELY COMFORTABLE KNOWING I AM NOW AND FINALLY GAMBLING ONLY ON THE DOLLAR INDEX AGAINST A WEAKER PRICE. IT IS A GAMBLE EITHER WAY. NO MATTER THE RESEARCH, THE RISK IS THERE MORE SO THAN THE REWARD IS. THE REWARD ONLY COMES AT THE END OF THE PROPERLY PLACED TRADE. THIS STRATEGY IS NEW TO ME AND SO THE NERVOUS NERVES OF CHART WATCHING IS THERE.
SO BY STARING MAINLY AT XAGUSD AND DXY 30M-60M RSI AND STOCH AND STOCH RSI, USING THE 1 AND 5 MINUTE CONGRUENT CHARTS TO BE ALIGNED WITH TRADE AND MAYBE EVEN THE 15M CHART AS WELL. WHEN THE 30M-60M AND 1-5M AND MAYBE EVEN THE 15M CHART ALIGN, THIS IS THE ENTRY. THE 30M CHART TELLS WHERE TO ENTER. THE 1-5M CHART 200MA SHOWS WHERE TO ENTER OR EXIT OR CASH OUT. TO SEE A NEUTRAL, OVER BOUGHT, OR OVER SOLD, KNOWN AS OVER PURCHASED MOMENTUM.
WE FEEL LIKE, ISAIAH NOBLE AND I, [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) TO CONTACT US, IS THE BEST WAY FOR YOUR ENTRY INTO OUR WORLD. WE OFFER COUNSELING FOR 2000% PROFIT DAILY. YOU MUST SIGN A CONTRACT FOR PAYMENT BUT WE WILL MAKE PROFIT FROM THIS DEBT. IT IS ONE ON ONE COACHING AND GROUP ENTRY. PAUSE. FOLLOW THE HOURLY MACD AS THE LONG. THIS IS THE OVER EXTENSION OF THE MACD CANDLE. WE FEEL LIKE THE GATES TO UNLIMITED PROFIT HAVE BEEN SHOWN TO US.
POST #8
XAGUSD CHART MACDS
5.20.22 10:26PM EST
FRIDAY MAY 20TH, 2022
https://www.investing.com/crypto/xrp/xrp-usd-technical
​
TRADING RIPPLE XRP. A CRYPTO CURRENCY. $0.40600. WE ARE BUYING IT ON THE ONE MINUTE RSI TO OVER BOUGHT OR PURCHASED @ 70 PLUS WHEN THE STOCH AND STOCH RSI ARE CROSSED OVER 80-100 OVERBOUGHT.
TRADE ONE. ABOVE.
TRADE TWO. BELOW
ONE MINUTE RSI WAS AT 29 OVER SOLD. WE BUY UNTIL SELL LIMIT TWICE PER ACCOUNT WITH TWO ACCOUNTS. FOUR XRP BUYS UNTIL ONE MINUTE 300MA OR 70 RSI WITH STOCH TWINS OVERBOUGHT AT 100 OR CROSSED OVER 80.
4 SELL LIMITS PLACED FOR 300MA ONE MINUTE AKA CLARICE AT $0.41000. BUYS ARE TAKING PROFITS AUTOMATICALLY AT $0.40900-950.
THIS TRADE WAS MADE BC THE 5 MINUTE-WEEKLY CHARTS MACD WERE ALL NEGATIVE. INDICATING A HORRIBLE DOWN TREND FOR THE "BUY THOSE" ENTHUSED. ENTERING THE BUY KNOWING IT WAS A ONE CHART BUY. THIS IS A ONE CHART BUY. I WANTED TO SELL. DID THE MARKET SELL FROM WHERE I WOULD HAVE ENTERED INTO A SELL AT? NO. I FELT $0.40200 WAS A BAD SELL ENTRY. THE DIP DOWN FROM $0.41000 WASN'T THE ONLY DIP FROM THIS LEVEL. THIS IS WHERE I AM AT NOW WITH TRADING PYSCHE SCHEMAS.
TRADE TWO HAS NO TAKE PROFIT. MAYBE $4 PROFIT AND I WILL SHORT BUY INBETWEEN ONLY AT THE ONE MINUTE RSI OF OVERSOLD UNDER 30 WITH STOCH TWINS CROSSING OVER 80..
TRADE THREE IS THE SHORT BUY ONE MINUTE RSI AT OVERSOLD. THANK YOU ALL. SMOOTH SAILING ON SUCH A TURBULENT WAVE.
​
12:07AM EST FINISHED ON 5.21.22
STARTED @ 11:30PM EST ON 5.20.22
​
https://www.investing.com/currencies/xag-usd-technical
​
WEEKEND SESSION TRADING XRP ON WWW.FXSWAY.COM
READING THE INACTIVE CHART FOR SILVER XAGUSD FROM THE HOURLY CHART TO THE ONE MINUTE CHART. FIVE CHART READING. FIVE TRADES BASED ON ONE PER CHART OF FIVE. PARTY OF FIVE TRADING. THESE FIVE FRIENDS WILL HAVE YOUR ACCOUNT JUMP, JUMP, JUMPING FRIEND.
THIS CHART IS FOR XRPUSD. PUT IT ACCIDENTALLY SO WE WILL RETURN TO THIS. THIS IS THE FIVE MINUTE CHART AS SEEN ON INVESTING.COM SLASH XAGUSD TECHNICAL DIAGNOSIS. HERE IS YOUR TRADING PRESCRIPTION.
THE RSI IS NEUTRAL. INDICATES A MACD COME BACK SESSION ON THIS ONE CHART. EVERY CHART IS IT'S OWN ENTITY WITHIN THE ENTITY AND EVERY CHART HAS ITS OWN MIND. A NEUTRAL RSI WITH A GREEN MACD FOR BLUE BUYING BULLS INDICATES A BUY RELOAD READY, THOSE BUYERS HAVE REORGANIZED THEIR PORTFOLIO AND THE MARKET IS ONCE AGAIN READY FOR THE MACD CATERING. CATERING TO THE MACD WILL CATER TO YOUR EACH AND EVERY NEEDS AS WELL OLD PAL. FRESH PAL.
THE STOCH AT NEUTRAL INDICATES THE SAME. THE STOCH RSI HAS MOVED FIRST TO OVERSOLD AT 0 AND BACK ON ITS WAY TO OVERBOUGHT OVER 80 TO 100 MAX. THIS MEANS THE FIRST THREE OF THE FIRST FOUR INDICATORS ARE IN ALIGNED POSTURES. THREE UPPERCUTS TO SOME ONE'S JAW. THERE IS A BUY COMING UP TO 70 PLUS OVER BOUGHT ON THE RSI WITH THE STOCH AND STOCH RSI TWINS AT OVERBOUGHT OVER 80 TO 100 MAX. THE STOCH RSI IS THE FIRST OF THE FIRST FOUR INDICATORS TO MOVE IN A DIRECTION. THIS IS WHEN YOU COULD DOUBLE DOWN ON YOUR POSITIONS. YOU GO FOR THE GUSTO YOLO STYLE THIS WAY ONLY.
AT THIS POINT THE MACD DIRECTION OF BLUE BULL BUYING UP TREND ASCENSION, EXPANSION, WILL KILL ANY SELLS PLACED BELOW $0.40700, WHERE WE PLACED OUR FIRST SELL. FOR US AT LEAST, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN BAD. I WANTED TO SELL XRP WITH THE REST OF THE CHARTS. THAT IS THE KEY, THE REST OF THE CHARTS ARE SELLING YES, THIS ONE CHART IS THE LAST BUYING CHART. ALL OF THE FURTHER CHARTS INDICATED A RED BEAR SALES MACD AGGRESSION EXPANSION ON ALL BUYS AFTER THIS CHART.
THIS IS A ONE CHART BUY. ONE CHART BUY. SO THE SELL I WANTED WAS 4 HOURS AWAY ACTUALLY. IT HAS BEEN FOUR HOURS. ONE FOUR HOUR CANDLE. I WOULD HAVE BEEN STRESSING. I HAD DEMO TRADES IN ALREADY PRE LIVE TRADING FOR HOURS SO I KNEW THE BUY ON THE FIVE MINUTE WAS STILL NOT FINISHED. THIS IS THE CONCEPT BEHIND WHAT WE CALL AT "HOLLYWOOODTRADES", "THE GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS OR MEMPHIS RAINES MACD RSI STRATEGY". YOU ARE ALLOWED TO CALL THIS STRATEGY THE MEMPHIS RAINES, MEMPHIS RAINES MACD OR THE GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS AND PIPS STRAT, STRAT, STRAT.
BASED ON THE FIRST FOUR INDICATORS ON THIS CHART WE GAVE YOU THE THREE TRADE PLAY. THE FOUR TRADE PLAY. INCLUDING THIS CHART IT IS A FIVE TRADE PLAY, A FIVE CHART TRADING STRATEGY. YOU HAVE TO TRADE OFF OF FIVE CHARTS SIMULTANEOUSLY. SORRY BUD, THIS IS JUST HOW THE GAME IS FINANCIALLY STRUCTURED .
IT IS PROPER HEDGING. TO HEDGE, OR NOT TO HEDGE? IS THIS NOT ONE OF THE QUESTIONS? HEDGING IS FUNDAMENTAL BUT COMPLICATED, WHEN TO GO BOTH WAYS? IS THIS NOT ANOTHER ONE OF THE QUESTIONS? HEY GOOGLE, WHEN SHOULD MY TRADE GO BI SEXUAL? UH, AT THE PROPER PRICE LEVEL. MAYBE AT THE SAME PRICE LEVEL BUT TO A DIFFERENT PRICE LEVEL.
THE ANSWER IS TO PLAY EACH CHART INDIVIDUALLY. YOUR ONE MINUTE TRADE ALWAYS EXIST. MAY NOT BE THE TRADE LOOKED FOR BUT IT IS ABOUT THE TRADE FOUND MORE SO. CAN YOU SPOT THE OPPORTUNITIES ON THE ONE MINUTE UP TO FIVE HOUR OR DAILY CHARTS? THIS IS HOW YOU SCALP THE ENTIRE CHART.
INDICATORS TO PUT ON YOUR META TRADER APPS AFTER SIGNING UP WITH FXSWAY.COM FOR XRPUSD TRADING AND MOST TRADABLE ASSETS.
MACD
THREE RSI 3,5,14
STOCHASTIC OSCILLATOR
STOCH RSI BY ADDING A SECOND STOCH CHART AND THE SECOND RSI THEN ADDING IT TO THE SECOND STOCH CHART
OSMA MOVING AVERAGES OSCILLATOR
THIS IS HOW MY UNDER THE MAIN CHART, CHART BOXES ARE SET UP
MAIN CHART SET UP
ICHI MOKU CLOUD
ALLIGATOR
MOVING AVERAGES ALL EMA
400 EMA BETSY
350 EMA CLARICE TWIN SISTER LATRICE
300EMA CLARICE
250EMA SWAY FROM "GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS" PEOPLE
200EMA ELEANOR FROM "GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS". NAMED BEFORE HAVING THE GONE IN SIXTY PIPS MACD CHEESE STRATEGY.
100EMA, CAN NOT REMEMBER HER NAME. I HAVE TO ASK ISAIAH NOBLE WHAT HER NAME WAS, WE NEED TO WRITE OUR LINGO DOWN.
50EMA
20EMA
10MA
5MA
USING THE ALLIGATOR I CAN JUST FOCUS ON THE 200EMA-400EMA.
ELEANOR UP TO CLARICE
CLARICE UP TO LATRICE
LATRICE TO BETSY OR FROM LATRICE OR CLARICE DOWN
INBETWEEN CLARICE AND LATRICE IS WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
FOR THE 300 EMA TO BE PUSHED PAST AND AT ITS RETURN OR AT LATRICE YOU SELL IN A BUY FROM OVERSOLD TO OVERBOUGHT GREEN MACD CHART.
SELL AT CLARICE OR LATRICE. SELL AT BOTH. SELL ONCE AT CLARICE AND SEE IF SHE TOUCHES LATRICE AND THEN SELL LATRICE WITH THE REST OF YOUR MONEY AVAILABLE IN THE ACCOUNT AT THIS TIME. THIS IS WHEN YOU GO FOR THE GUSTO, AT CLARICE AND LATRICE ONLY IN A GREEN MACD BATTLE FORMATION. THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN A BATTLE FORMATION. LOAD YOUR SELLS UP ON XRPUSD SOON IS THE FORECAST, WITHIN THE NEXT 5 HOURS THOSE SUPPLY ZONES WILL BE WHERE THE PARTY IS HELD.
​
RSI(14)50.770Neutral
STOCH(9,6)49.461Neutral
STOCHRSI(14)22.817Oversold
MACD(12,26)0.000Buy
ADX(14)40.465Neutral
Williams %R-45.132Neutral
CCI(14)-26.0002Neutral
ATR(14)0.0012Less Volatility
Highs/Lows(14)0.0000Neutral
Ultimate Oscillator48.555Sell
ROC0.728Buy
Bull/Bear Power(13)
​
POST NUMBER 9
​
POST #9
5.21.22 STARTED ON AT 12:08AM EST
5.21.22 FINISHED ON AT 12:53AM EST
​
XAGUSD SILVER
THIS TRADE IS A REAL ROLLER COASTER.
SPOILER ALERT:
​
THE SALES YOU ARE LOOKING FOR IS ACTUALLY TRADE NUMBER FIVE.
IF YOUR FIRST TRADE BASED ON THIS CHART IS A SALES YOU ARE UTTERLY DOOMED FOR CATASTROPHIC, PORTFOLIO AUTOMATICALLY READJUSTED, TO DISGUSTED DUST, DON'T DISCUSS IT.
​
FIRST TRADE IS A ONE MINUTE CHART MACD TO RSI OVER PURCHASED. BUY
SECOND TRADE IS A FIVE MINUTE CHART MACD TO RSI OVER PURCHASED. BUY
THIRD TRADE IS A 15 MINUTE CHART MACD TO RSI OVER PURCHASED. SALES
FOURTH TRADE IS A 30 MINUTE CHART MACD TO OVER PURCHASED RSI. SALES
FIFTH TRADE IS AN HOURLY CHART MACD TO OVER PURCHASED RSI. SALES
​
THE FIRST CHART TRADES ARE A BUY TO OVER BOUGHT OVER 80-100.
THE LAST THREE CHART TRADES OF FIVE TRADES AND FIVE CHARTS ARE ALL SALES TO JAIL OR HELL, WHICHEVER IS WORST FOR THOSE BUYS. JAIL THEN HELL FOR THOSE BUYS PLACED AFTER CHARTS ONE AND TWO, ONE AND FIVE MINUTE CHARTS.
IF YOU ARE A BEAR AND LOVE TO SELL ONLY, CHARTS THREE THRU FIVE XAGUSD ARE YOUR BEST FRIEND. ALL BEARS HIBERNATE THRU CHARTS ONE AND TWO.
IF YOU ARE A BULL, YOU BETTER ANIMORPH INTO A BEAR BY CHART NUMBER THREE'S ENTRY ONTO THE PLAYING FIELD, OR YOU BOYS WON'T BE PLAYING FOR LONG ON THE STRONG DOLLAR YOU STARTED OUT WITH.
​
I PRESCRIBE ONE TO THREE TO FIVE TRADES WITH $20 BUFFER FOR EACH TRADE FOR EACH CHART. THIS IS THREE TO FIVE TRADES PER CHART, ONE CHART AT A TIME. THESE FIVE TRADES MAY ACTUALLY TAKE YOU OVER 24 TO 48 HOURS.
WITH SILVER TRADING YOU CAN DOUBLE TO QUINTUPLE YOUR ACCOUNT ON EVERY CHART.
​
100%-500% PER CHART PER TRADE
300%-1500% PER THREE TRADES
500%-2000% DAILY WITH FIVE SILVER TRADES IN PER CHART
​
LEVERAGE WITH AT LEAST $20 PER TRADE SO $100-$200 TRADING SILVER FIVE TIMES PER CHART
TWO TO FOUR PLUS HOURS PER TRADE
100% X 100% X 100% X 100% X 100%
500% TO 2000% FIVE TIMES PER WEEK
2500% TO 10000% WEEKLY INTEREST OR ROII FOR THE RETURN ON THE INITIAL INVESTMENT
LOOKING FOR THE GOOD ROY
​
HOURLY
RSI(14) 45.643 Neutral
STOCH(9,6) 26.333 Sell
STOCHRSI(14) 21.594 Oversold
MACD(12,26) -0.009 Sell
​
60 MINUTE CHART TRADE PRESCRIPTON
TRADE FIVE DEFINITELY
​
YOU ARE GOING TO SELL THE MACD AND STOCH TWINS TO AN @ 0 DOUBLE OVER SOLD ON THE TWINS AND THE RSI OVER SOLD @ 0.
TAKE PROFIT AT OVER PURCHASED RSI, WHICH IS 300EMA-350EMA.
FROM CLARICE TO LATRICE START PLACING ORDERS FOR HOURLY CHART BEAR TRADE
​
HALF HOURLY
​
RSI(14) 45.457 Neutral
STOCH(9,6) 64.099 Buy
STOCHRSI(14) 93.439 Overbought
MACD(12,26) -0.042 Sell
​
30 MINUTE CHART TRADE PRESCRIPTON
TRADE FOUR HONESTLY.
YOU ARE GOING TO SELL DOWN THE MACD TO THE STOCH TWINS OVER SOLD @ 0 WITH THE RSI @ UNDER 30 OVER SOLD. SELLING TO -30 RSI 30M SILVER.
​
15 MINUTE
​
RSI(14) 51.454 Neutral
STOCH(9,6) 90.259 Overbought
STOCHRSI(14) 88.873 Overbought
MACD(12,26) -0.019 Sell
​
15 MINUTE CHART TRADE PRESCRIPTON
TRADE THREE INCREDIBLY
​
SELL THIS MACD DOWN TO UNDER 30 OVER SOLD RSI WITH STOCH TWINS @ 0 OVER SOLD AS WELL.
300EMA-350EMA IS TAKE PROFIT @ UNDER 30 OVERSOLD OR -30 O SOLD. O.S.
​
5 MINUTE
​
RSI(14) 58.015 Buy
STOCH(9,6) 55.820 Buy
STOCHRSI(14) 0.000 Oversold
MACD(12,26) 0.015 Buy
​
FIVE MINUTE CHART TRADE PRESCRIPTON.
TRADE TWO IN ALL ACTUALITY.
BUY THIS MACD WITH STOCH TWINS COMBO UP TO A PLUS 70 RSI OVER BOUGHT WITH STOCH TWINS OVER BOUGHT AT 80-100.
THIS IS CALLED YOUR LEFT JAB IF THIS WERE BOXING TRAINING.
​
ONE MINUTE CHART FOUR NOBLE MEN INDICATORS.
​
RSI(14) 42.984 Sell
STOCH(9,6) 60.002 Buy
STOCHRSI(14) 0.000 Oversold
MACD(12,26) 0.000 Neutral
​
ONE MINUTE CHART TRADE PRESCRIPTON.
ACTUALLY THIS IS TRADE ONE.
BUY THIS STOCH @ 60.002 UNTIL RSI OF 70 PLUS OVERBOUGHT WITH STOCH TWINS AT OVER BOUGHT OVER 80-100.
​
POST 10
​
POST 10
1:44AM EST
5.21.22
SATURDAY MAY 21st, 2022.
GONE IN SIXTY SECONDS MACD STRATEGY.
MEMPHIS RAINES STRATEGY ON THE 5M XRPUSD.
​
5 MINUTE XRPUSD CHART.
​
RSI(14)54.060Neutral
STOCH(9,6)40.718Sell
STOCHRSI(14)74.287Buy
MACD(12,26)0.000Buy
​
TRADE PRESCRIPTION
BUY THE MACD, STOCHRSI AND STOCH UNTIL OVER BOUGHT @ 100 STOCH TWINS AND AN @ 70 PLUS OVER BOUGHT ON THE RSI.
TAKE PROFIT AT 300EMA-350EMA ON 5M CHART.
TAKE PROFIT AT CLARICE OR LATRICE, THE 300EMA-350EMA TWIN BARBIES.
​
NEUTRAL MEANS RELOADED ON THOSE BUYS AFTER STOCH SELL DRAGGED DOWN THE PRICE LEVEL.
​
RSI(14)54.060NeutralSTOCH(9,6)40.718SellSTOCHRSI(14)74.287BuyMACD(12,26)0.000Buy
​
POST 11
5.21.22
​
WE WILL BE PRESCRIBING TRADES FOR THESE PAIRS AS WELL AS THE OTHERS WE FEEL PEOPLE TRADE. WTI AND BRENT CRUDE AND SPOT OIL PRECRIPTIONS AS WELL AS GOLD PRESCRIPTIONS COMING SOON. THEN ON TO STOCK OPTIONS PILLS FOR YOU WILD FOLKS.
I WANT TO THANK YOU ALL OUT THERE FOR THE EARLY LOVE ON THE UPVOTES AND EVERYTHING. IT IS A BIG DEAL TO ME AND I SURELY APPRECIATE IT, THAT'S HOW YOU TELL ME TO SPEND ALL DAY POSTING THESE PRESCRIPTIONS. YOU WILL PROFIT FROM READING THESE POSTS SO SUBSCRIBE AND CASH APP ME SO I CAN DO THIS FULL TIME. TELLING YOU WHERE TO PUT YOUR MONEY AND IN WHICH DIRECTION AND WHEN IT'S PROPERLY TIMED TO DO SO.
​
Top 10 most traded currency pairs
- EUUSD (euro/US dollar)
- USD/JPY (US dollaJapanese yen)
- GBP/USD (British pound/US dollar)
- AUD/USD (Australian dollaUS dollar)
- USD/CAD (US dollaCanadian dollar)
- USD/CNY (US dollaChinese renminbi)
- USD/CHF (US dollaSwiss franc)
- USD/HKD (US dollaHong Kong dollar)
​
POST 12
​
POST 12
5.21.22
2:12AM EST
​
RSI(14)45.790Neutral
STOCH(9,6)24.588Sell
STOCHRSI(14)7.750Oversold
MACD(12,26)0.000Neutral
​
TRADE PRESCRIPTION IS FOR YOU TO BUY THE MACD, THE STOCH RSI AND THE STOCH UNTIL THE RSI OF OVER BOUGHT @ PLUS 70 WITH STOCH TWINS CROSSED ABOVE 80-100 OVER BOUGHT. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE LOVE, I SEE YOU ALL LOOKING, KEEPS ME POSTING. START JOINING THIS PAGE AND STOP PLAYING. THERE IS NO PAGE LIKE THIS. THIS IS ONE GUY GIVING YOU WORKING TRADES, LONGS AND SHORTS, PROPERLY HEDGED AND PLACED, THEN TRACED AND LACED TO THE FACE OF DACE. CRACKING WITH NO BASE.
​
https://www.investing.com/crypto/xrp/xrp-usd-technical
​
POST 13
​
RSI(14)49.270Neutral
STOCH(9,6)31.291Sell
STOCHRSI(14)56.923Buy
MACD(12,26)-0.000Sell
​
STILL BUYING THE MACD FROM RSI NEUTRAL @ 49 TO @ 70 PLUS RSI WITH STCH TWINS CROSSED OVER @ INBETWEEN 80-100 OVER BOUGHT.
​
https://www.investing.com/crypto/xrp/xrp-usd-technical
​
POST 14
​
POST 15
​
POST 15
5.21.22
5:21AM EST FINISHED
5:00AM EST STARTED.
SINCE 8:30PM EST WE WERE WAITING ON THE SHORT BUYS BASED ON XRPUSD FIVE MINUTE CHART TO HIT THE TAKE PROFIT OF THE 300EMA AKA CLARICE. $0.41000 WAS THE TAKE PROFIT ON THE BUYS AND THE SELL LIMIT ENTRY PRICE LEVEL.
​
TRADE ONE BASED ON ONE MINUTE AND FIVE MINUTE CHARTS MACD BUYING TO RSI OVER BOUGHT OVER 70. IT WAS A BUY.
TRADE TWO WAS BASED ON THE FIVE MINUTE 300EMA BEING TOUCHED, CLARICE, AND SHE YELLED "GUARD!".
TRADE THREE WILL BE BUYING THE OVER SOLD UNDER 30 ON THE XRPUSD 5 MINUTE RSI WITH STOCH TWINS CROSSED UNDER 20 TO 0 OVER SOLD.
TRADE FOUR WILL BE CONTINUING THE SALES FROM THE FIVE MINUTE 300EMA BEING TOUCHED, DOWN UNTIL THE 15M CHART RSI IS OVER SOLD @ UNDER 30 WITH THE STOCH TWINS CROSSED UNDER 20 TO 0 OVER SOLD.
TRADE FIVE WILL BE BUYING THE OVERSOLD 15M RSI @ UNDER 20 TO 0. BUY TIL THE RSI IS OVER BOUGHT OVER 70 WITH THE STOCH TWINS CROSSED OVER BOUGHT BETWEEN 80-100.
CAN I START WRITING IN SHORT HAND NOW? YOU GET THE OVER SOLD AND OVER BOUGHT INTEGERS RIGHT?
TRADE SIX WILL BE SELLING THE OVER BOUGHT 15M RSI @ OVER 70 PLUS STOCH TWINS CROSSED OVER 80-100 OVER BOUGHT.
TRADE SEVEN IS BUYING THE 30M RSI OVER SOLD @ UNDER 30 WITH STOCH TWINS CROSSED @ UNDER 20 TO 0 TO RSI OVER BOUGHT OVER 70 PLUS STOCH TWINS CROSSING.
WE HAVE OUR NEXT FIVE TRADES FOLLOWING THE CURVES OF THE CURRENCY MARKET'S RIVER.
THANK YOU ALL FOR SUPPORTING THIS PAGE. PLEASE JOIN THE GROUP AND GIVE ME A CHART TO RESEARCH FOR YOU PLEASE.

YOUNG MONEY FILMS of COURSE THE BLOCKKK IS HOT VOL. 1 EPISODE 1:MOVIN’ TOO FAST
“And when I was 5, my favorite movie was the Gremlins, ain’t got piff to do with this but I just thought that I should mention.” TUNECHI ALOWISHES
CHAD XZAVIER HARRIS 8/12/2010
2
1st off, Dwayne M. Carter II personally requested this publication so it is only professional you give this to him. He will have an email sent to me if this is not put in his possession. We really appreciate your cooperation. Thank You
If any information contained in this book is considered offensive or controversial, CHAD HARRIS personally apologizes, asks for forgiveness and for it to be given to Dwayne M. Carter anyway.
Nothing in this text is designed to provide instructions for any weaponry or escape plans, He’s a multi millionaire for GOD’s sake. If you just would search the entire book you will read various harmless ideas that fit in different categories. There’s a movie script, 2 animation television show scripts and 12 short film treatment scripts...nothing illegal or provoking unrest amongst your prisoners.
Thank You Kindly
• I am shappy and grateful now I am working on 5 films with Eli Roth and Q. Tarantino.
• I am so happy and grateful I am President of Young Money Film Division courtesy of GOD, Myself and lil Wayne aka Tunechi my favorite mentor
• I am so happy and grateful my published book containing the animation and feature film script and treatment has been received by lil Wayne in NYC jail hassle free and he is in the process of contacting me to fly me out to get paperwork done
• I am so happy and grateful my first published feature film script was picked up and optioned and I was paid $1,000,000 for it quickly as if it were destined
• I am so happy and grateful lil Wayne wasted no time whatsoever in reaching back out to me in letting me become part of Young Money
• I am so happy and grateful the Young Money and Cash Money family supports my passion and looks out for me while welcoming me into their family, which I appreciate so franking much.
• Just in case- 678.760.0704 [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]), [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]),
• The number 1 characteristic of an alpha male is the smile and I can’t help but smile wider than usual after actually sending this to you
• The only way to really get signed with Young Money is to feel like I already am and I really do feel like Young Money Film’s newest phenom
3
• Whether you decide to meet me or not, at least contact me and let me know pls. It would be greatly appreciated and I really hope you at least received this.
4
8/12/2010 9:28:22 PM
“You can’t be broke and happy, so me I’m MAD RICH”- “Throw it in the Bag” from “No Ceilings”
Dear Wayne,
I condensed 5 intro pages into 1 to catch your attention. (Later on the 5 pages can be read in full.) Basically, I am 20, graduated high school in 2008. If YOUNG MONEY FILMS exist, I want to work my way up to the highest available position. My passions are reading, writing and speaking. I have been writing original poems since I was 7.
You are such a mobile and goal oriented person, it’s challenging to get something in your hands, no homo. The purpose of this publication is to convey to you, Wayne, how valuable I believe I am regarding YOUNG MONEY FILM’s eternal success. With the right amount of experience I can be a serious threat, a real serious threat. On an interview you mentioned wanting to step in front of the camera a likkle more (likkle Wayne). Out of all the Hollywood studios I would prefer to enter Hollywood thru YOUNG MONEY FILMS and if given the chance, I’ll personally make sure you earn a billion units of currency due to our organized efforts. I just want your co-sign. What Baby did for you, I want a similar opportunity. If by some GODLY force your eyes are actually feasting upon this written material, my biggest dreams are being realized. On your “Behind the Music” you said “being able to say I was CASH MONEY were some of the happiest moments of my life.” In my bedroom closet I have 52 pictures for inspiration while writing movies and you’re on 12 out of 52.
I imagine just how wonderful it actually feels to be “Young Money FILMS”. On the original “I want dis forever” Drake said “I’m so UN-SIGNED; it would blow one’s mind.” And on the “official” “Forever”, he was YOUNG MONEY. I want to earn my way there. So if this never reached you, you would never know how crushed I truly am, my eyes are becoming teary but I deserve everything I receive. So if I deserve at Least 1 physical audition to prove my value to your camp, please grant it.
If you can not feel my passion through these pages then I ask you to fly me out to your location once free from prison. You will definitely sense my passion in person. On your “weezy thanx you” website you requested fans only send you 1 page letters but I am a business partner thus, an entire published book. I thank you for at least opening it. So I want to end the introduction briefly summarizing 3 movie ideas I am currently outlining.
“Ah Hell Naw!” An original idea courtesy of YOUNG MONEY FILMS: I’m walking around my old job carrying a notebook and it got me thinking, the scariest thing to a creative artist would be if something was hell bent on stealing my ideas. Like Wayne just imagine, some devilish creature ACTUALLY stealing your rhymes before you can record them and completely wiping your memory of it. It never fails; a creature whose purpose was to steal your drive, your passions, your hobbies, is basically stealing your life force.
5 They just leave you lethargic. To some people, this is worse than death. The theme and moral is “chores don’t kill, so get them done.”

1. Steven Spielberg scared the crap out of the world with “Jaws”. The next YOUNG MONEY FILMS

commercial hit is this: over the last million years, the oceans began drying up and sharks began evolving to live on land. They operate like big cats do basically. Where “Jaws” made it unsafe for people to swim, this makes it unsafe for people to be outside period. That’s what makes it so scary, in “Jaws” you had to swim to be a victim, here it is so different. It’s not realistic but once immersed in the story, you are so happy it may never happen. And if Sharks do in fact evolve to live on land, we called it 1st with GOD’s help here at YOUNG MONEY. These sharks pounce like tigers, lions and panthers. They evolve to the point where they have wings. It will be a fantasy and all the explanations come from evolution, not genetic mutation, that’s outdated. Where the Jaws poster had the shark swallowing a person from the bottom, our film will have the Great white shark swallowing the person from the top; he’s flying down. I see so much potential in this film particularly. Monday, August 09, 2010 8/9/2010 4:24:54 PM
The Blockkk is Hot Volume 1, Episode 1: Running from the Police
FADE IN
3 African American teenage males are being pulled over for a “routine” traffic stop. The on duty officers are white of course. The responding officer calls in for backup to even out the citizen to police officer ratio. 2 more police squad cars arrive on the scene. An officer from the 2nd squad car walks slowly to the left side, watching the back seat passenger. The 1st officer runs the vehicle’s license plate for warrants and or tickets. The initial police officer finally gets out of his car and walks over to the driver of the vehicle.
The 1st officer asks the driver for his driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. The driver is extremely nervous but nonetheless he complies. The officer receives the information and walks back over to his squad car. The officer from the 3rd car walks over to the 1st officer’s car door. They both engage in conversation over what they are allowed to do with the “suspects”.
The three African American males observe their environment and notice the 2nd police officer watching over them. Suddenly a van carrying 6, including the driver, African American adult males armed with specialized weapons notices the scene. They pull over on
6
the opposite side of the road several hundred feet away from the “traffic” stop.
They drop off 2 passengers, each armed with a high powered sniper rifle to “spot” them. The other 4 passengers viciously load, cock and aim their sub- machine guns towards the “innocent” police officers. The 2 snipers each aim at their respective officer’s head and fire. This leaves 2 of the 3 officers down and fatally injured.
The African American teenage male located in the backseat is the first to notice the 2nd officer as he falls to the ground. Blood is sprayed on the window and in his view. The 2nd officer is hit by the 2nd sniper and his accurate hollow point bullet. This scares the 1st officer shit-less because he is closest to the 2nd officer and is now the only one left alive. The van full of single purpose driven cop killers is now side by side the 1st squad car and the 3 armed passengers already have their door open. These same gunmen riddle the officer with one round of semi automatic bullets. The officer is not able to return fire quickly enough and thus never stood a chance.
While this is going on, the 3 African American teenage males are jumping in their seats. They then all duck down because they have no idea what is going on. They realize the police officers are under fire but they don’t know from who, why, and if they themselves are also targets.
They are obviously not because if they were, they too would be slumped in their vehicle as well. The 3 armed passengers leave their sub machine guns in the van, only take 1 silenced pistol and one 9mm with them as they exit the van.
The cop killers pull the 1st police officer’s dead corpse from “his” squad car and lay him on the 2nd officer in an assumed homosexual position as a joke. Each cop killer relocates into a squad car and prepares to drive off. Right at this moment another squad car is seen driving down the road at a calm pace. The new squad car slows down to investigate the interesting scene. The gunman in the bloodiest squad car cocks and aims both his pistols at the new squad car as a defensive tactic.
It is now revealed the driver of the investigating squad car is JARVIS, the 2nd in command of this “elite” and
7
“exquisitely prepared operation”. JARVIS rolls down the window and smiles at his soldiers. He tells the soldiers to “keep up the outstanding progress” and drives off as he turns on the police car sirens and flashing lights.
The 1st gunman walks over to the teenager’s car and returns his driver license. He tells the driver he is free to go, his license is clean and hands him a brochure to attend a meeting based on what they just witnessed here. As the 3 gunmen drive off calmly in all different directions the camera freezes and the title credits roll. The “Tyga Tyga song La La La Boom” song plays as the credits play out.
Once the credits finish we cut to JARVIS meditating silently and alone in his bedroom closet. We observe him taking his 1st 5 deep inhalations and exhalations. We cut to JARVIS in his high school cafeteria in the 11th grade. JARVIS is sitting at a table filled with people chattering about him, about others, to him and to others. He is bored of this and gets up to throw away his empty food tray.
He tells his table he will meet them after school lets out as he heads to the library. JARVIS heads into the school library and gives the librarian his school identification. He observes a class sitting with their teacher at the middle of the library receiving a lecture of some sort. He walks over to the student computer area and takes a seat. He logs into his account and pulls up internet explorer 8. He googles afro centricity and is taken to www.thetalkingdrum.com.
The talking drum website is full of an abundance of detailed information regarding America’s race relations “policies”. He clicks on a tab titled “Cointelpro” identifying what Cointelpro really is. He reads on Cointelpro until the lunch bell rings 15minutes later.
He has 25 pages left and he prints out 5 pages on Cointelpro and exits the library after picking up his heaven sent information. He walks into his class and as he enters the room, the camera doesn’t follow him in. We cut back to JARVIS meditating in his closet. We see JARVIS taking 5 more breaths before we cut to him giving an arousing speech at a nearby youth center in a NYC neighborhood.
JARVIS
8
WE SHALL NEVER AGAIN BE NEUTRALIZED...WE SHALL INSTEAD SHOOT UNTIL WE DIE!!!
We cut back to JARVIS meditating. JARVIS stands up, puts a shirt on and exits the closet. He has his loaded shotgun strapped around his back safely to avoid shooting himself. He sits at his study desk and draws out the final blueprints of his latest plans. On top his bookshelf, away from the other books are 2 books on police dispatching systems and 1 book on proper grenade usage and handling.
We cut to a group of armed soldiers exiting a black “cable company” van. 4 African American males pull ghostface masks over their faces, load their automatic rifles and with heavy determination enter a doomed police precinct. There are 4 men on the “bad side”: CARLOS, JOSE, ALEX and DANIEL. CARLOS is the commanding officer of this particular squad and enters the building with DANIEL by his side. They both waste no time in firing upon the innocent and ignorant police officers.
They really have little time to execute their plans due to the visibility of their artillery and their face masks. CARLOS shoots 3 cops in the face, neck and back, back to back to back. DANIEL takes out 2 more officers with his rifle while ALEX throws a smoke grenade over DANIEL’s shoulder. JOSE equips himself to ALEX’s right side and throws an armed war grenade into the hallway of the police station. Just as the upstairs officers head downstairs with their game face on, they are blown away “right on time”.
As the smoke fills up the room, all 4 assailants release heavy fire upon the hidden police officers even more. They hear more screams from the cops and are now unsure how many more they have killed. They all head outside of the police station through the front door. CARLOS radios the driver, JARVIS, to return and pick them up. As JARVIS pulls up, they all notice back up police officer squad cars stopping on the corner to “engage” them in battle.
Just then, JARVIS jumps out of the vehicle, mask on his face, grenade launcher in hand and aims steadily at the cop cars. He successfully blows them all up. The explosion knocks everyone except JARVIS to the ground. They all get up, get inside the van and drive off. JARVIS is happier at this outcome than one may expect or be able to stomach.
9
We now cut to a black screen reading: “Chapter 1, Laying Plans”. Cut to JARVIS standing at the head of a table with a room full of warriors listening to his every word. He explains the process of war, “it is an art”.
We cut to JARVIS and CARLOS walking in front of a different police station with land mines in their hands. They kneel down together and each plant 5 mines in a line as a trap. They then both throw 3 smoke grenades and 2 war grenades into the police station. They both walk away calmly to the corner where ALEX is waiting in the van.
As they open the van door, the 4 grenades blow up and 2 dead officers are blasted into the empty street. As they close the van door they notice the smoke exiting the building and 5 officers run out of the building in fear and curiosity. All 5 of these oblivious officers activate a separate land mine and are effectively terminated in the blast. The van drives off away from the “unwarranted chaos”. JARVIS is still seen laughing uncontrollably or giggling like a giddy little school girl, whichever feels best. We cut back to JARVIS’ lesson plans.
We cut to JARVIS speaking to an African American militant sniper about an upcoming battle. 3 police cruisers responding to an “emergency call” park on the block. JARVIS asks the sniper, SUNNY, if he is ready and SUNNY responds in the affirmative. JARVIS walks down the stairs as he polishes his left oozy. He puts it in his left gun shoulder strap and then pulls out his right oozy. He tells himself “One at a time JARVIS, just one at a time. All things come to those who act as if and who believe in CHRIST.”
JARVIS walks through bushes taller than him quietly enough to position himself right next to an unsuspecting officer. The officer’s partner notices the oozy barrel sticking out of the bush and right when he opens his mouth; BOOM! The sniper’s 1st kill assisted JARVIS’ 1st kill. As the 1st officer investigates his partner’s body, JARVIS guns him down with the oozy. Since 2 officers have been gunned down, the remaining 4 officers call in for back up as they are engaged in heavy gunfire.
Now they realize it is a horrible set up by armed
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citizens. JARVIS shoots the windshield to pieces while SUNNY shoots down one more officer. This leaves 2 more and JARVIS precisely pitches an armed grenade into the squad car. SUNNY the sniper takes out the last squad car with a rocket launcher. (This is designed to make the audience laugh due to dramatic irony; neither JARVIS nor the cops know a rocket launcher has entered the equation). JARVIS is blown 5 feet away from the site. The scene freezes and cuts back to JARVIS and his lesson plans.
We cut to JARVIS and ALEX driving in the by now so recognizable van, not to the police but to the audience. They park the car 50 yards away from a police officer occupied with giving someone a ticket. JARVIS exits the van, loads up his favorite pink sniper rifle, aims it at the officer’s head and positions himself.
Just in case the officer has a partner in the passenger side ALEX loads his sniper rifle, aims it where the passenger would exit the vehicle and alerts JARVIS of his readiness. JARVIS executes the cop and as the bullet exits the chamber, the camera zooms out, pans over to the cop’s perspective and the officer then falls to the ground. We cut back to JARVIS’ lesson plans.
JARVIS Always remember lack of planning brings about defeat.
We cut to a high school lecture given by a retiring police officer dated 2 weeks before the 1st attack on the police forces officially commenced. 20 students enter into their criminal justice 2nd period one after the other. As they position themselves into their seats, their teacher, Mr. BRADLEY, announces the day’s special guest. Officer O’Charley begins his lecture. A student, DESTIN, asks the officer a question about his utility belt. Officer O’Charley answers DESTIN’s question.
We cut to a masked gunman brandishing a double barreled shotgun. He is walking behind an unsuspecting police officer giving a traffic ticket on the side of the road. The criminal shoots the officer in the head and neck twice in rapid succession, as it should be. He then steals the officer’s car and drives off calmly.
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We cut back to Officer O’Charley’s school lesson. He is explaining the obvious usefulness of his handcuffs. We cut to 2 officers responding to an “emergency call” at a local residence. A white couple is arguing outside at each other with a bat and a machete in their hands. The police officers exit the car and immediately brandish their trusty firearms.
They ask the couple to put their weapons away and step over to the vehicle. 2 masked white men in all black clothing ambush the bitch ass police officers. The 1st white man, TJ, shoots the 1st cop in the neck with a tranq gun. As the next officer turns around to investigate and then shoot, the other white man DARWIN guts him like a fish with his freshly sharpened Katana.
TJ walks over to the “sleeping” officer and handcuffs him with his own handcuffs. DARWIN ties a black bag over his head, ties a rope around his neck extra tight and he and TJ lift the officers one by one back into their cars. TJ and DARWIN get in the squad car, drive it to the corner and park it sideways; blocking the road off partially. As they exit the car they each arm 2 grenades, leave them in the car and walk back down to the crime scene as the car explodes. The explosion serves as the transition to the next scene.
We see Officer O’Charley answering a question from student ADAM WAGNER concerning his upcoming retirement. Officer O’Charley informs ADAM of his gut feeling to leave the force. He feels something horrible is being plotted by “horrible” people. He then goes on to say he could just be “horribly wrong.” We cut to JARVIS, once again laying out the “business plans”. We cut to 5 police officers inside a police precinct discussing recent arrests. Their names are STEVEN, NICOLAS, JACK, WILLIAM TYRELL and TOMMY LEE.
STEVEN So I’m taking this guy in for disturbing the peace and being drunk in public right, and all of sudden he decides to puke all over my back seat. It was just so disgusting man, like seriously. How am I supposed to drive that car around town now? I kind of wished I had just left him be. TOMMY LEE Ah man STEVEN that’s nothing bro. I responded to a call about 3 months ago, epileptic seizure or something of that nature. Right as the paramedics arrive on the scene this lady starts puking in my arms. NICOLAS puts his arm around TOMMY LEE’s shoulder as he
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pokes fun at him, smile on his face
NICOLAS I didn’t even know people could vomit while under seizures. TOMMY LEE shifts his position so he and NICOLAS are having a heart to heart conversation. NICOLAS’ arm falls off of TOMMY LEE’s shoulder as a result.
TOMMY LEE I know right! That’s exactly what I’m saying. I know now though. But all in all though, I gave that nice lady some comfort in her time of need so it’s not a big deal at all. Now you on the other hand STEVEN...that shit’s just funny as fuck. At this moment the police station door opens and 5 ball- like items are slung violently in all directions inside the building. The officers are still trying to figure out what is happening when the items start fulfilling their purposes. One item is a homemade tear gas canister, another is a smoke grenade, one is a poison gas canister and two are live, war grenades designed to maim, kill and neutralize. The 5 officers along with the rest of the people inside the building begin to gag, choke, cough and suffocate before the grenade blows them up.
We cut back to JARVIS and his lesson plans.
JARVIS Ok so, Chapter 3: Attacking by stratagem; the easiest part. JARVIS pulls the sides of his sports jacket closer together symbolizing his inner confidence.
JARVIS So here are the rules: if our forces are 10 to our enemy’s 1, we surround him.
We cut to a white male in all blue and a gas mask walking up very quickly to a local police precinct. He pulls out 5 ball like items from his bag, drops the bag and opens the police station double doors. He launches all 4 weapons into the police station, closes the door, picks up his bag and makes a dash for the corner. A black cable van arrives to pick him up. He enters the vehicle and they drive off as the explosions occur. We cut to a police officer walking out of a coffee shop with a brew in his hand. We see a white man in all black with a Halloween mask on smashing the cop’s squad car up with a spiked baseball bat. The cop, outraged, brandishes his pistol after dropping his coffee on the ground.
OFFICER DALY
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Freeze bitch! Hands up now! What the fuck do you think you’re doing man? What’s wrong with you man? Are you insane? ZACHARY JUKEL I didn’t do it...I fucking swear. It was a black dude. ZACK puts his hands up after dropping the bat. 10 machine gun brandishing African American militants appear from around the corner and gun down OFFICER DALY with immense ease.
ZACK What took you all so long man? I was almost dead! CORNELIUS He wasn’t going to kill you JUKEL man, you white. ZACK Yea, bet. CORNELIUS Let’s lift this sack of shit up and place his ass on top of his squad car, since he cares ‘bout it so much. Both ZACK and CORNELIUS lift up the dead officer on top of his cruiser. ZACK pours gasoline all over his body and inside the car. CORNELIUS strikes a match and throws it inside the car and the big group disperses before the flames attract more officers and firemen.
CORNELIUS Ok, this motherfucker’s toast, let’s skedaddle. We cut back to JARVIS explaining the plans. We cut to an interracial teenage couple sitting on a couch listening to music playing from a white laptop.
CARTER How was economics today SASHA? SASHA Oh it was just grand (very enthusiastically) Mr. Woods is just so freaking entertaining man. He was telling us of a story about a student he had on the 1st day of school a few years ago. He was an Asian student drinking water out a tall, plastic bottle. Mr. Woods kept noticing the student laughing and blurting out random nonsense right? CARTER Um hum, keep going. SASHA So Mr. Woods walks over to the student’s desk, picks up the bottle, opens it and smells it. He then figured out it was some sort of hard liquor and had to suspend the student. So his moral was water only, but he had to be allowed to smell it first. It was much funnier coming straight from him. I mean, his facial expressions are priceless man. CARTER Yea, that was pretty entertaining. You do a great job SASHA. You really do. SASHA leans in to kiss CARTER on the lips. She puts her hand on his cheek and keeps it there longer than
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necessary which shows how much she does adore him.
SASHA Ok, now your turn boo, tell me a funny story taking place in high school pls.
CARTER looks up and to the right, gathers the appropriate memory and begins.
CARTER Ok, I have one. CARTER sits up straight to better illustrate his short tale.
CARTER My junior year at Salem, there was this new girl from Upstate New York. Her name was BELINDA SOSA. People called her BELLA. Boy was she beautiful, but nevertheless, we never ever spoke. So one day I’m talking to DIAMOND, a good friend of mine, after school and she gives me BELLA’s phone number. This was when I had a boost mobile cell phone and BELLA also had a Nextel. So that allowed us to chirp each other. You know about chirping right? SASHA You mean the walkie talkie feature right? CARTER Yes, exactly. So anyway right, later on that night I decide to engage in premature acts known commonly as prank calling. She has no idea who I am so I chirp her every morning as I walk to the bus stop right. Next thing you know her popular boy friend, TREY NEWTON, chirped me back and said he was hell bent on whooping my ass.
SASHA leans in closer to CARTER’s chin, looks up at him with a smile on her face and asks him
SASHA So were you in the least bit afraid? CARTER Oh yes, he was so popular, I was like ‘maybe I should stop soon.’ SASHA So did you stop then? CARTER Hell to the fuck Nah. Both SASHA and CARTER share a hearty laugh together. CARTER One day she chirps me and uses my full name, CARTER SIMMONS. SASHA’s eyes widen up in complete surprise and suspense. CARTER I was like, what in the hell? I was so scared man, like how’d she get my whole government name? Turns out when I chirped her, my information was also sent to her. By then it was a little too late but I still decided to change my information for future reference purposes. CARTER So a few days later I’m in the lunchroom, standing in a long line waiting to buy a lunch. All of a sudden, bleep bleep, my phone starts going off. Somebody was chirping me. The 1st thing
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popping in my mind was ‘hell nah, this girl trying to find me. She’s trying to jam a nigga up man.’ She almost had me too. I figured she was also in the lunchroom somewhere so I secretly pull my phone out and turn that bitch off. Maybe I wasn’t slick enough and she had somebody looking out for me and they saw me. So after school as I’m walking down the stairs to my bus I turn my phone back on and chirp her. We made jokes about how she almost caught me. She called me a punk for being afraid of her boyfriend. SASHA So where’s the climax and resolution? I wanna finish nibbling on your ears and once it’s out of my system, you can return the favor. Only if that’s cool with you though. CARTER So here’s the end; I’m in literature class sitting at a table full of women, as it should be. All of a sudden TIFFANY GREEN walks over to me and asks me; ‘are you CARTER SIMMONS?’ and I’m like Noooo. She then says ‘yes you are man!’ then I say ‘yes I am but why.’ She just says ‘oh no reason.’ I pretty much figured out what was going on because I recognized TIFFANY as part of BELLA’s clique. So a few days later I’m posted up eating lunch away from the cafeteria and all of a sudden BOOM! Both TIFFANY and BELLA walk up to me and it so shocked me SASHA. I promise SASHA, I didn’t faint but it was intense. BELLA’s just there smiling all in my face like we’re friends and everything. At that point, the chirp fest was over, my game was up. She had figured me out with the help of a friend. Had TIFFANY never been in my lit. class it probably could’ve gone on much longer too. So before she walked away I screamed out ‘BELLA’, she turns around and I continued ‘did you think I was going to hurt you?’ She shook her head no and called me a pussy. We never spoke after this but if she did see me, I’m sure she laughed to herself. Ok so story over SASHA, my ear’s ready.
SASHA laughs and continues to nibble on CARTER’s ear.
We cut to JARVIS laying plans.

happy and grateful now I am working on 5 films with Eli Roth and Q. Tarantino.
• I am so happy and grateful I am President of Young Money Film Division courtesy of GOD, Myself and lil Wayne aka Tunechi my favorite mentor
• I am so happy and grateful my published book containing the animation and feature film script and treatment has been received by lil Wayne in NYC jail hassle free and he is in the process of contacting me to fly me out to get paperwork done
• I am so happy and grateful my first published feature film script was picked up and optioned and I was paid $1,000,000 for it quickly as if it were destined
• I am so happy and grateful lil Wayne wasted no time whatsoever in reaching back out to me in letting me become part of Young Money
• I am so happy and grateful the Young Money and Cash Money family supports my passion and looks out for me while welcoming me into their family, which I appreciate so franking much.
• Just in case- 678.760.0704 [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]), [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]),
• The number 1 characteristic of an alpha male is the smile and I can’t help but smile wider than usual after actually sending this to you
• The only way to really get signed with Young Money is to feel like I already am and I really do feel like Young Money Film’s newest phenom
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• Whether you decide to meet me or not, at least contact me and let me know pls. It would be greatly appreciated and I really hope you at least received this.
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8/12/2010 9:28:22 PM
“You can’t be broke and happy, so me I’m MAD RICH”- “Throw it in the Bag” from “No Ceilings”
Dear Wayne,
I condensed 5 intro pages into 1 to catch your attention. (Later on the 5 pages can be read in full.) Basically, I am 20, graduated high school in 2008. If YOUNG MONEY FILMS exist, I want to work my way up to the highest available position. My passions are reading, writing and speaking. I have been writing original poems since I was 7.
You are such a mobile and goal oriented person, it’s challenging to get something in your hands, no homo. The purpose of this publication is to convey to you, Wayne, how valuable I believe I am regarding YOUNG MONEY FILM’s eternal success. With the right amount of experience I can be a serious threat, a real serious threat. On an interview you mentioned wanting to step in front of the camera a likkle more (likkle Wayne). Out of all the Hollywood studios I would prefer to enter Hollywood thru YOUNG MONEY FILMS and if given the chance, I’ll personally make sure you earn a billion units of currency due to our organized efforts. I just want your co-sign. What Baby did for you, I want a similar opportunity. If by some GODLY force your eyes are actually feasting upon this written material, my biggest dreams are being realized. On your “Behind the Music” you said “being able to say I was CASH MONEY were some of the happiest moments of my life.” In my bedroom closet I have 52 pictures for inspiration while writing movies and you’re on 12 out of 52.
I imagine just how wonderful it actually feels to be “Young Money FILMS”. On the original “I want dis forever” Drake said “I’m so UN-SIGNED; it would blow one’s mind.” And on the “official” “Forever”, he was YOUNG MONEY. I want to earn my way there. So if this never reached you, you would never know how crushed I truly am, my eyes are becoming teary but I deserve everything I receive. So if I deserve at Least 1 physical audition to prove my value to your camp, please grant it.
If you can not feel my passion through these pages then I ask you to fly me out to your location once free from prison. You will definitely sense my passion in person. On your “weezy thanx you” website you requested fans only send you 1 page letters but I am a business partner thus, an entire published book. I thank you for at least opening it. So I want to end the introduction briefly summarizing 3 movie ideas I am currently outlining.
“Ah Hell Naw!” An original idea courtesy of YOUNG MONEY FILMS: I’m walking around my old job carrying a notebook and it got me thinking, the scariest thing to a creative artist would be if something was hell bent on stealing my ideas. Like Wayne just imagine, some devilish creature ACTUALLY stealing your rhymes before you can record them and completely wiping your memory of it. It never fails; a creature whose purpose was to steal your drive, your passions, your hobbies, is basically stealing your life force.
5 They just leave you lethargic. To some people, this is worse than death. The theme and moral is “chores don’t kill, so get them done.”

1. Steven Spielberg scared the crap out of the world with “Jaws”. The next YOUNG MONEY FILMS

commercial hit is this: over the last million years, the oceans began drying up and sharks began evolving to live on land. They operate like big cats do basically. Where “Jaws” made it unsafe for people to swim, this makes it unsafe for people to be outside period. That’s what makes it so scary, in “Jaws” you had to swim to be a victim, here it is so different. It’s not realistic but once immersed in the story, you are so happy it may never happen. And if Sharks do in fact evolve to live on land, we called it 1st with GOD’s help here at YOUNG MONEY. These sharks pounce like tigers, lions and panthers. They evolve to the point where they have wings. It will be a fantasy and all the explanations come from evolution, not genetic mutation, that’s outdated. Where the Jaws poster had the shark swallowing a person from the bottom, our film will have the Great white shark swallowing the person from the top; he’s flying down. I see so much potential in this film particularly. Monday, August 09, 2010 8/9/2010 4:24:54 PM
The Blockkk is Hot Volume 1, Episode 1: Running from the Police
FADE IN
3 African American teenage males are being pulled over for a “routine” traffic stop. The on duty officers are white of course. The responding officer calls in for backup to even out the citizen to police officer ratio. 2 more police squad cars arrive on the scene. An officer from the 2nd squad car walks slowly to the left side, watching the back seat passenger. The 1st officer runs the vehicle’s license plate for warrants and or tickets. The initial police officer finally gets out of his car and walks over to the driver of the vehicle.
The 1st officer asks the driver for his driver’s license, registration and proof of insurance. The driver is extremely nervous but nonetheless he complies. The officer receives the information and walks back over to his squad car. The officer from the 3rd car walks over to the 1st officer’s car door. They both engage in conversation over what they are allowed to do with the “suspects”.
The three African American males observe their environment and notice the 2nd police officer watching over them. Suddenly a van carrying 6, including the driver, African American adult males armed with specialized weapons notices the scene. They pull over on
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the opposite side of the road several hundred feet away from the “traffic” stop.
They drop off 2 passengers, each armed with a high powered sniper rifle to “spot” them. The other 4 passengers viciously load, cock and aim their sub- machine guns towards the “innocent” police officers. The 2 snipers each aim at their respective officer’s head and fire. This leaves 2 of the 3 officers down and fatally injured.
The African American teenage male located in the backseat is the first to notice the 2nd officer as he falls to the ground. Blood is sprayed on the window and in his view. The 2nd officer is hit by the 2nd sniper and his accurate hollow point bullet. This scares the 1st officer shit-less because he is closest to the 2nd officer and is now the only one left alive. The van full of single purpose driven cop killers is now side by side the 1st squad car and the 3 armed passengers already have their door open. These same gunmen riddle the officer with one round of semi automatic bullets. The officer is not able to return fire quickly enough and thus never stood a chance.
While this is going on, the 3 African American teenage males are jumping in their seats. They then all duck down because they have no idea what is going on. They realize the police officers are under fire but they don’t know from who, why, and if they themselves are also targets.
They are obviously not because if they were, they too would be slumped in their vehicle as well. The 3 armed passengers leave their sub machine guns in the van, only take 1 silenced pistol and one 9mm with them as they exit the van.
The cop killers pull the 1st police officer’s dead corpse from “his” squad car and lay him on the 2nd officer in an assumed homosexual position as a joke. Each cop killer relocates into a squad car and prepares to drive off. Right at this moment another squad car is seen driving down the road at a calm pace. The new squad car slows down to investigate the interesting scene. The gunman in the bloodiest squad car cocks and aims both his pistols at the new squad car as a defensive tactic.
It is now revealed the driver of the investigating squad car is JARVIS, the 2nd in command of this “elite” and
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“exquisitely prepared operation”. JARVIS rolls down the window and smiles at his soldiers. He tells the soldiers to “keep up the outstanding progress” and drives off as he turns on the police car sirens and flashing lights.
The 1st gunman walks over to the teenager’s car and returns his driver license. He tells the driver he is free to go, his license is clean and hands him a brochure to attend a meeting based on what they just witnessed here. As the 3 gunmen drive off calmly in all different directions the camera freezes and the title credits roll. The “Tyga Tyga song La La La Boom” song plays as the credits play out.
Once the credits finish we cut to JARVIS meditating silently and alone in his bedroom closet. We observe him taking his 1st 5 deep inhalations and exhalations. We cut to JARVIS in his high school cafeteria in the 11th grade. JARVIS is sitting at a table filled with people chattering about him, about others, to him and to others. He is bored of this and gets up to throw away his empty food tray.
He tells his table he will meet them after school lets out as he heads to the library. JARVIS heads into the school library and gives the librarian his school identification. He observes a class sitting with their teacher at the middle of the library receiving a lecture of some sort. He walks over to the student computer area and takes a seat. He logs into his account and pulls up internet explorer 8. He googles afro centricity and is taken to www.thetalkingdrum.com.
The talking drum website is full of an abundance of detailed information regarding America’s race relations “policies”. He clicks on a tab titled “Cointelpro” identifying what Cointelpro really is. He reads on Cointelpro until the lunch bell rings 15minutes later.
He has 25 pages left and he prints out 5 pages on Cointelpro and exits the library after picking up his heaven sent information. He walks into his class and as he enters the room, the camera doesn’t follow him in. We cut back to JARVIS meditating in his closet. We see JARVIS taking 5 more breaths before we cut to him giving an arousing speech at a nearby youth center in a NYC neighborhood.
JARVIS
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WE SHALL NEVER AGAIN BE NEUTRALIZED...WE SHALL INSTEAD SHOOT UNTIL WE DIE!!!
We cut back to JARVIS meditating. JARVIS stands up, puts a shirt on and exits the closet. He has his loaded shotgun strapped around his back safely to avoid shooting himself. He sits at his study desk and draws out the final blueprints of his latest plans. On top his bookshelf, away from the other books are 2 books on police dispatching systems and 1 book on proper grenade usage and handling.
We cut to a group of armed soldiers exiting a black “cable company” van. 4 African American males pull ghostface masks over their faces, load their automatic rifles and with heavy determination enter a doomed police precinct. There are 4 men on the “bad side”: CARLOS, JOSE, ALEX and DANIEL. CARLOS is the commanding officer of this particular squad and enters the building with DANIEL by his side. They both waste no time in firing upon the innocent and ignorant police officers.
They really have little time to execute their plans due to the visibility of their artillery and their face masks. CARLOS shoots 3 cops in the face, neck and back, back to back to back. DANIEL takes out 2 more officers with his rifle while ALEX throws a smoke grenade over DANIEL’s shoulder. JOSE equips himself to ALEX’s right side and throws an armed war grenade into the hallway of the police station. Just as the upstairs officers head downstairs with their game face on, they are blown away “right on time”.
As the smoke fills up the room, all 4 assailants release heavy fire upon the hidden police officers even more. They hear more screams from the cops and are now unsure how many more they have killed. They all head outside of the police station through the front door. CARLOS radios the driver, JARVIS, to return and pick them up. As JARVIS pulls up, they all notice back up police officer squad cars stopping on the corner to “engage” them in battle.
Just then, JARVIS jumps out of the vehicle, mask on his face, grenade launcher in hand and aims steadily at the cop cars. He successfully blows them all up. The explosion knocks everyone except JARVIS to the ground. They all get up, get inside the van and drive off. JARVIS is happier at this outcome than one may expect or be able to stomach.
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We now cut to a black screen reading: “Chapter 1, Laying Plans”. Cut to JARVIS standing at the head of a table with a room full of warriors listening to his every word. He explains the process of war, “it is an art”.
We cut to JARVIS and CARLOS walking in front of a different police station with land mines in their hands. They kneel down together and each plant 5 mines in a line as a trap. They then both throw 3 smoke grenades and 2 war grenades into the police station. They both walk away calmly to the corner where ALEX is waiting in the van.
As they open the van door, the 4 grenades blow up and 2 dead officers are blasted into the empty street. As they close the van door they notice the smoke exiting the building and 5 officers run out of the building in fear and curiosity. All 5 of these oblivious officers activate a separate land mine and are effectively terminated in the blast. The van drives off away from the “unwarranted chaos”. JARVIS is still seen laughing uncontrollably or giggling like a giddy little school girl, whichever feels best. We cut back to JARVIS’ lesson plans.
We cut to JARVIS speaking to an African American militant sniper about an upcoming battle. 3 police cruisers responding to an “emergency call” park on the block. JARVIS asks the sniper, SUNNY, if he is ready and SUNNY responds in the affirmative. JARVIS walks down the stairs as he polishes his left oozy. He puts it in his left gun shoulder strap and then pulls out his right oozy. He tells himself “One at a time JARVIS, just one at a time. All things come to those who act as if and who believe in CHRIST.”
JARVIS walks through bushes taller than him quietly enough to position himself right next to an unsuspecting officer. The officer’s partner notices the oozy barrel sticking out of the bush and right when he opens his mouth; BOOM! The sniper’s 1st kill assisted JARVIS’ 1st kill. As the 1st officer investigates his partner’s body, JARVIS guns him down with the oozy. Since 2 officers have been gunned down, the remaining 4 officers call in for back up as they are engaged in heavy gunfire.
Now they realize it is a horrible set up by armed
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citizens. JARVIS shoots the windshield to pieces while SUNNY shoots down one more officer. This leaves 2 more and JARVIS precisely pitches an armed grenade into the squad car. SUNNY the sniper takes out the last squad car with a rocket launcher. (This is designed to make the audience laugh due to dramatic irony; neither JARVIS nor the cops know a rocket launcher has entered the equation). JARVIS is blown 5 feet away from the site. The scene freezes and cuts back to JARVIS and his lesson plans.
We cut to JARVIS and ALEX driving in the by now so recognizable van, not to the police but to the audience. They park the car 50 yards away from a police officer occupied with giving someone a ticket. JARVIS exits the van, loads up his favorite pink sniper rifle, aims it at the officer’s head and positions himself.
Just in case the officer has a partner in the passenger side ALEX loads his sniper rifle, aims it where the passenger would exit the vehicle and alerts JARVIS of his readiness. JARVIS executes the cop and as the bullet exits the chamber, the camera zooms out, pans over to the cop’s perspective and the officer then falls to the ground. We cut back to JARVIS’ lesson plans.
JARVIS Always remember lack of planning brings about defeat.
We cut to a high school lecture given by a retiring police officer dated 2 weeks before the 1st attack on the police forces officially commenced. 20 students enter into their criminal justice 2nd period one after the other. As they position themselves into their seats, their teacher, Mr. BRADLEY, announces the day’s special guest. Officer O’Charley begins his lecture. A student, DESTIN, asks the officer a question about his utility belt. Officer O’Charley answers DESTIN’s question.
We cut to a masked gunman brandishing a double barreled shotgun. He is walking behind an unsuspecting police officer giving a traffic ticket on the side of the road. The criminal shoots the officer in the head and neck twice in rapid succession, as it should be. He then steals the officer’s car and drives off calmly.
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We cut back to Officer O’Charley’s school lesson. He is explaining the obvious usefulness of his handcuffs. We cut to 2 officers responding to an “emergency call” at a local residence. A white couple is arguing outside at each other with a bat and a machete in their hands. The police officers exit the car and immediately brandish their trusty firearms.
They ask the couple to put their weapons away and step over to the vehicle. 2 masked white men in all black clothing ambush the bitch ass police officers. The 1st white man, TJ, shoots the 1st cop in the neck with a tranq gun. As the next officer turns around to investigate and then shoot, the other white man DARWIN guts him like a fish with his freshly sharpened Katana.
TJ walks over to the “sleeping” officer and handcuffs him with his own handcuffs. DARWIN ties a black bag over his head, ties a rope around his neck extra tight and he and TJ lift the officers one by one back into their cars. TJ and DARWIN get in the squad car, drive it to the corner and park it sideways; blocking the road off partially. As they exit the car they each arm 2 grenades, leave them in the car and walk back down to the crime scene as the car explodes. The explosion serves as the transition to the next scene.
We see Officer O’Charley answering a question from student ADAM WAGNER concerning his upcoming retirement. Officer O’Charley informs ADAM of his gut feeling to leave the force. He feels something horrible is being plotted by “horrible” people. He then goes on to say he could just be “horribly wrong.” We cut to JARVIS, once again laying out the “business plans”. We cut to 5 police officers inside a police precinct discussing recent arrests. Their names are STEVEN, NICOLAS, JACK, WILLIAM TYRELL and TOMMY LEE.
STEVEN So I’m taking this guy in for disturbing the peace and being drunk in public right, and all of sudden he decides to puke all over my back seat. It was just so disgusting man, like seriously. How am I supposed to drive that car around town now? I kind of wished I had just left him be. TOMMY LEE Ah man STEVEN that’s nothing bro. I responded to a call about 3 months ago, epileptic seizure or something of that nature. Right as the paramedics arrive on the scene this lady starts puking in my arms. NICOLAS puts his arm around TOMMY LEE’s shoulder as he
12
pokes fun at him, smile on his face
NICOLAS I didn’t even know people could vomit while under seizures. TOMMY LEE shifts his position so he and NICOLAS are having a heart to heart conversation. NICOLAS’ arm falls off of TOMMY LEE’s shoulder as a result.
TOMMY LEE I know right! That’s exactly what I’m saying. I know now though. But all in all though, I gave that nice lady some comfort in her time of need so it’s not a big deal at all. Now you on the other hand STEVEN...that shit’s just funny as fuck. At this moment the police station door opens and 5 ball- like items are slung violently in all directions inside the building. The officers are still trying to figure out what is happening when the items start fulfilling their purposes. One item is a homemade tear gas canister, another is a smoke grenade, one is a poison gas canister and two are live, war grenades designed to maim, kill and neutralize. The 5 officers along with the rest of the people inside the building begin to gag, choke, cough and suffocate before the grenade blows them up.
We cut back to JARVIS and his lesson plans.
JARVIS Ok so, Chapter 3: Attacking by stratagem; the easiest part. JARVIS pulls the sides of his sports jacket closer together symbolizing his inner confidence.
JARVIS So here are the rules: if our forces are 10 to our enemy’s 1, we surround him.
We cut to a white male in all blue and a gas mask walking up very quickly to a local police precinct. He pulls out 5 ball like items from his bag, drops the bag and opens the police station double doors. He launches all 4 weapons into the police station, closes the door, picks up his bag and makes a dash for the corner. A black cable van arrives to pick him up. He enters the vehicle and they drive off as the explosions occur. We cut to a police officer walking out of a coffee shop with a brew in his hand. We see a white man in all black with a Halloween mask on smashing the cop’s squad car up with a spiked baseball bat. The cop, outraged, brandishes his pistol after dropping his coffee on the ground.
OFFICER DALY
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Freeze bitch! Hands up now! What the fuck do you think you’re doing man? What’s wrong with you man? Are you insane? ZACHARY JUKEL I didn’t do it...I fucking swear. It was a black dude. ZACK puts his hands up after dropping the bat. 10 machine gun brandishing African American militants appear from around the corner and gun down OFFICER DALY with immense ease.
ZACK What took you all so long man? I was almost dead! CORNELIUS He wasn’t going to kill you JUKEL man, you white. ZACK Yea, bet. CORNELIUS Let’s lift this sack of shit up and place his ass on top of his squad car, since he cares ‘bout it so much. Both ZACK and CORNELIUS lift up the dead officer on top of his cruiser. ZACK pours gasoline all over his body and inside the car. CORNELIUS strikes a match and throws it inside the car and the big group disperses before the flames attract more officers and firemen.
CORNELIUS Ok, this motherfucker’s toast, let’s skedaddle. We cut back to JARVIS explaining the plans. We cut to an interracial teenage couple sitting on a couch listening to music playing from a white laptop.
CARTER How was economics today SASHA? SASHA Oh it was just grand (very enthusiastically) Mr. Woods is just so freaking entertaining man. He was telling us of a story about a student he had on the 1st day of school a few years ago. He was an Asian student drinking water out a tall, plastic bottle. Mr. Woods kept noticing the student laughing and blurting out random nonsense right? CARTER Um hum, keep going. SASHA So Mr. Woods walks over to the student’s desk, picks up the bottle, opens it and smells it. He then figured out it was some sort of hard liquor and had to suspend the student. So his moral was water only, but he had to be allowed to smell it first. It was much funnier coming straight from him. I mean, his facial expressions are priceless man. CARTER Yea, that was pretty entertaining. You do a great job SASHA. You really do. SASHA leans in to kiss CARTER on the lips. She puts her hand on his cheek and keeps it there longer than
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necessary which shows how much she does adore him.
SASHA Ok, now your turn boo, tell me a funny story taking place in high school pls.
CARTER looks up and to the right, gathers the appropriate memory and begins.
CARTER Ok, I have one. CARTER sits up straight to better illustrate his short tale.
CARTER My junior year at Salem, there was this new girl from Upstate New York. Her name was BELINDA SOSA. People called her BELLA. Boy was she beautiful, but nevertheless, we never ever spoke. So one day I’m talking to DIAMOND, a good friend of mine, after school and she gives me BELLA’s phone number. This was when I had a boost mobile cell phone and BELLA also had a Nextel. So that allowed us to chirp each other. You know about chirping right? SASHA You mean the walkie talkie feature right? CARTER Yes, exactly. So anyway right, later on that night I decide to engage in premature acts known commonly as prank calling. She has no idea who I am so I chirp her every morning as I walk to the bus stop right. Next thing you know her popular boy friend, TREY NEWTON, chirped me back and said he was hell bent on whooping my ass.
SASHA leans in closer to CARTER’s chin, looks up at him with a smile on her face and asks him
SASHA So were you in the least bit afraid? CARTER Oh yes, he was so popular, I was like ‘maybe I should stop soon.’ SASHA So did you stop then? CARTER Hell to the fuck Nah. Both SASHA and CARTER share a hearty laugh together. CARTER One day she chirps me and uses my full name, CARTER SIMMONS. SASHA’s eyes widen up in complete surprise and suspense. CARTER I was like, what in the hell? I was so scared man, like how’d she get my whole government name? Turns out when I chirped her, my information was also sent to her. By then it was a little too late but I still decided to change my information for future reference purposes. CARTER So a few days later I’m in the lunchroom, standing in a long line waiting to buy a lunch. All of a sudden, bleep bleep, my phone starts going off. Somebody was chirping me. The 1st thing
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popping in my mind was ‘hell nah, this girl trying to find me. She’s trying to jam a nigga up man.’ She almost had me too. I figured she was also in the lunchroom somewhere so I secretly pull my phone out and turn that bitch off. Maybe I wasn’t slick enough and she had somebody looking out for me and they saw me. So after school as I’m walking down the stairs to my bus I turn my phone back on and chirp her. We made jokes about how she almost caught me. She called me a punk for being afraid of her boyfriend. SASHA So where’s the climax and resolution? I wanna finish nibbling on your ears and once it’s out of my system, you can return the favor. Only if that’s cool with you though. CARTER So here’s the end; I’m in literature class sitting at a table full of women, as it should be. All of a sudden TIFFANY GREEN walks over to me and asks me; ‘are you CARTER SIMMONS?’ and I’m like Noooo. She then says ‘yes you are man!’ then I say ‘yes I am but why.’ She just says ‘oh no reason.’ I pretty much figured out what was going on because I recognized TIFFANY as part of BELLA’s clique. So a few days later I’m posted up eating lunch away from the cafeteria and all of a sudden BOOM! Both TIFFANY and BELLA walk up to me and it so shocked me SASHA. I promise SASHA, I didn’t faint but it was intense. BELLA’s just there smiling all in my face like we’re friends and everything. At that point, the chirp fest was over, my game was up. She had figured me out with the help of a friend. Had TIFFANY never been in my lit. class it probably could’ve gone on much longer too. So before she walked away I screamed out ‘BELLA’, she turns around and I continued ‘did you think I was going to hurt you?’ She shook her head no and called me a pussy. We never spoke after this but if she did see me, I’m sure she laughed to herself. Ok so story over SASHA, my ear’s ready.
SASHA laughs and continues to nibble on CARTER’s ear.
We cut to JARVIS laying plans.
JARVIS If we know our enemy and know ourselves, we don’t have to fear the result of a hundred battles. If we know ourselves but not our enemy, for every victory gained we will also suffer a defeat. And if we know neither the enemy nor ourselves, we will succumb in every single ...motherfucking battle. And that is just not acceptable.
We cut to a dark room. We only hear muffled voices. The sliding door opens up and the light is turned on. We see 10 officer’s arms tied to the ceiling. They are all standing on top of folding chairs and are gagged and blindfolded. 5 masked figures brandishing Katana swords close the door back and begin attacking the police officers. The 1st militant begins yelling “AW!” out loud while aiming his Katana at a cop’s belly. He goes into a complete rage, kicking the chair from underneath several officers and gutting the officers like helpless fish. They are extremely helpless at this point. They can’t even see what is coming their way. The remaining 4 militants decide to shoot the
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officers in their heads instead of dooming them to the fate their crazed comrade has in store for them. The psycho militant’s name is DARIUS.
DARIUS Ok, I’m hungry, who’s up for dinner? SAMMIE I don’t see myself eating until at least 24 hrs. EDDIE Yea, I think I’m going to be sick. DARIUS Enchiladas it is then!
Cut back to JARVIS laying plans. We cut to CHARLEY, a 19 year old college student sitting at his dining room table. He is eating lunch before work and SAM PAGE, his mother’s boyfriend, enters the apartment. They begin talking about how PAGE is suspended from work for 3 days because some one snitched on him. Someone at his job has also been taking the caps off of his rims and he suspects the snitch to be in on it as well.
PAGE heads into the master bedroom to shower up and change. CHARLEY looks up as the door closes, smirks to himself and continues to eat his blueberry waffles. We cut back to JARVIS and his dictation.
JARVIS Ok groupies, chapter 5, energy. Controlling a large force uses the same exact principles as controlling a few men; it is merely a question of dividing up their numbers. Fighting with a large army under your command is no different than fighting with a small one. Direct or indirect maneuvers can make sure your host withstands the brunt of the enemy’s attack while remaining unshaken. The direct method in all fighting may be used for joining battle but indirect method will be needed in order to secure victory. Properly applied indirect tactics are as inexhaustible as heaven and earth. They are as unending as the flow of rivers and streams and like the Sun and Moon they end, only to begin anew. Like the four seasons, they pass away only to return again once more. There are not more than 5 musical notes yet the combination of these 5 give rise to more melodies than can ever be heard. There are not more than 5 base colors; blue, yellow, red, white and black yet in combination they produce more hues than can ever be seen. There are not more than 5 cardinal tastes; sour, acrid, salt, sweet and bitter yet their combinations yield more flavors than can ever be tasted. TRAVIS Now you gotta nigga wanting to listen to music, paint some scenery and eat some dinner. JARVIS TRAVIE Shut Cho ass UP! Anyway nigga, there are not more than 2 attack methods in battle; the direct and the indirect. Yet these 2 combined give rise to an endless series of maneuvers.
We cut to CHARLEY at his job, a local supermarket where he is
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the resident superstar. His manager Mr. PINSON introduces him to a new employee, JAFAR TATMAN. CHARLEY walks JAFAR around the job and shows him the work areas. An older African American male asks JAFAR to help him pick out a prime watermelon for his mother. JAFAR calls over CHARLEY to help them out. The older man begins to berate and insult CHARLEY for no apparent reason. He tells CHARLEY he could learn from JAFAR and JAFAR tells the customer it is CHARLEY’s 1st day. JAFAR’s a fucking asshole basically. JAFAR and CHARLEY walk away laughing together about the incident. JAFAR tells CHARLEY “not to offend anymore innocent customers!”
We cut back to JARVIS and chapter 6 of his lesson plans. We cut to TEL AVIV, a Swedish visitor to the United States for a year on vacation. She is babysitting 3 young children as part of her agreement to stay at their parent’s house. They are driving in a car and TEL AVIV pulls into a pizza restaurant.

Hey everyone,
I'm writing a post I wish me from a few months ago could read to save myself a lot of time and a lot of searching. I used to be an avid Apple user for a good few years up until their various anti right-to-repair moves and their OSes became stale, boring, and restrictive (although for the last one, they have been like that for a while now). So my adventure started and I tried out a Z Fold 4 (wasn't for me, I never used the inner screen yet had constant anxiety about killing it), a Pixel 7 Pro (was very close to staying but the battery life was terrible, it had major heat issues, and was disappointing outer casing wise), and ended up on the S23 Ultra. I moved from an iPhone 14 Pro Max and wanted to find the perfect Android (having found the perfect windows pc and linux laptop).
The good:

• S23U battery life is comparable if not identical to the 14 Pro Max for my use. That was one of my biggest concerns and after the Fold and Pixel, I'm happy to find something that actually lasts me a whole day very comfortably. No battery anxiety!
• Every Android phone I've tried felt smoother than Apple's offerings. It might be their implementation of the refresh rate and animation speed but Android feels faster and snappier. Scrolling is near instant, closing and opening apps just flies by and everything is very satisfying overall.
• Wow, the cameras. S23U camera (sensors) are better than iPhone 14 Pro Max for me. It's as simple as that. Pixel was also very solid but the disappointing front facing camera threw me off. ZFold4 was very meh. (There will be more about this).
• Freedom! It finally feels like I actually own the phone instead of renting it for an outrageous one-off price. I can use a web browser that isn't Safari in a trenchcoat, install a youtube app that skips sponsor sections and doesn't show me ads, and overall do anything. I can finally use all the power a mobile CPU is giving me. It doesn't feel like a smarter phone, it feels like a computer in my pocket.
• Customisation. I very strongly dislike the stock Samsung experience. Goodlock, custom launchers, keyboards etc gave me the tools needed to get it to a point where I want it to be. After setting it up, nothing comes close.
• There's a bunch of stuff I forgot like actually usable widgets etc. There's a bunch of QOL improvements that are very significant to me and its disappointing that supposedly the best option on the market doesn't have them (I'm looking at you Apple).
• Double SIM card slot! For someone who's not in their home country, being able to have a local and foreign SIM inside is a godsend. Not everyone has eSIMs.
• Reverse wireless charging. I'm sticking with airpods and it's nice to be able to charge them on the go without any cables if I forget to do so at home.
• Under display fingerprint sensor, we still wear masks sometimes here.

The bad:

• The camera (implementation). Samsung's processing is just plain terrible. It oversharpens and oversaturates everything and when you turn it off, photos look worse. Even turning on photo softening in Camera Assistant didn't fix most of it. I downloaded a GCam port and configured it a bit further and am getting close to DSLR-quality results. I am so incredibly impressed by what these cameras can do and kind of questioning why Samsung butchers them. Fortunately enough, this can be solved. That's why I love Android, if you have a problem, there are resources to solve it.
• Google really really needs to reevaluate their Google Play policies. Some apps are very undercooked and underpolished and shouldn't be let onto the google play store before being fixed. For example: apps not using the raw camera api and just taking screenshots of the viewfinder, apps not using UI elements from the latest OS versions (there are some apps still using some elements from Android I've seen on old HTC phones!!).
• It is kind of disappointing that I had to set up my phone for 10 hours to get it to this amazing to use point but I guess that's what Android is. I suppose it's personal preference though because with the Pixel I didn't run into this issue. Once again, I appreciate that I at least had the choice to do that.
• Oh my god Samsung, I don't want Samsung pass and all the other random shit you've installed on my phone. Thank you universal android debloater for existing.
• No Apple Watch and AirTags. It's what I signed up for and I'm looking into a replacement for the Apple Watch but with AirTags, nothing comes close.

Overall, I'm very impressed and unless Apple comes out with something groundbreaking, I'm sticking with Android. Just have to find a good smartwatch.

Hey everyone,
I'm writing a post I wish me from a few months ago could read to save myself a lot of time and a lot of searching. I used to be an avid Apple user for a good few years up until their various anti right-to-repair moves and their OSes became stale, boring, and restrictive (although for the last one, they have been like that for a while now). So my adventure started and I tried out a Z Fold 4 (wasn't for me, I never used the inner screen yet had constant anxiety about killing it), a Pixel 7 Pro (was very close to staying but the battery life was terrible, it had major heat issues, and was disappointing outer casing wise), and ended up on the S23 Ultra. I moved from an iPhone 14 Pro Max and wanted to find the perfect Android (having found the perfect windows pc and linux laptop).
The good:

• S23U battery life is comparable if not identical to the 14 Pro Max for my use. That was one of my biggest concerns and after the Fold and Pixel, I'm happy to find something that actually lasts me a whole day very comfortably. No battery anxiety!
• Every Android phone I've tried felt smoother than Apple's offerings. It might be their implementation of the refresh rate and animation speed but Android feels faster and snappier. Scrolling is near instant, closing and opening apps just flies by and everything is very satisfying overall.
• Wow, the cameras. S23U camera (sensors) are better than iPhone 14 Pro Max for me. It's as simple as that. Pixel was also very solid but the disappointing front facing camera threw me off. ZFold4 was very meh. (There will be more about this).
• Freedom! It finally feels like I actually own the phone instead of renting it for an outrageous one-off price. I can use a web browser that isn't Safari in a trenchcoat, install a youtube app that skips sponsor sections and doesn't show me ads, and overall do anything. I can finally use all the power a mobile CPU is giving me. It doesn't feel like a smarter phone, it feels like a computer in my pocket.
• Customisation. I very strongly dislike the stock Samsung experience. Goodlock, custom launchers, keyboards etc gave me the tools needed to get it to a point where I want it to be. After setting it up, nothing comes close.
• There's a bunch of stuff I forgot like actually usable widgets etc. There's a bunch of QOL improvements that are very significant to me and its disappointing that supposedly the best option on the market doesn't have them (I'm looking at you Apple).
• Double SIM card slot! For someone who's not in their home country, being able to have a local and foreign SIM inside is a godsend. Not everyone has eSIMs.
• Reverse wireless charging. I'm sticking with airpods and it's nice to be able to charge them on the go without any cables if I forget to do so at home.
• Under display fingerprint sensor, we still wear masks sometimes here.

The bad:

• The camera (implementation). Samsung's processing is just plain terrible. It oversharpens and oversaturates everything and when you turn it off, photos look worse. Even turning on photo softening in Camera Assistant didn't fix most of it. I downloaded a GCam port and configured it a bit further and am getting close to DSLR-quality results. I am so incredibly impressed by what these cameras can do and kind of questioning why Samsung butchers them. Fortunately enough, this can be solved. That's why I love Android, if you have a problem, there are resources to solve it.
• Google really really needs to reevaluate their Google Play policies. Some apps are very undercooked and underpolished and shouldn't be let onto the google play store before being fixed. For example: apps not using the raw camera api and just taking screenshots of the viewfinder, apps not using UI elements from the latest OS versions (there are some apps still using some elements from Android I've seen on old HTC phones!!).
• It is kind of disappointing that I had to set up my phone for 10 hours to get it to this amazing to use point but I guess that's what Android is. I suppose it's personal preference though because with the Pixel I didn't run into this issue. Once again, I appreciate that I at least had the choice to do that.
• Oh my god Samsung, I don't want Samsung pass and all the other random shit you've installed on my phone. Thank you universal android debloater for existing.
• No Apple Watch and AirTags. It's what I signed up for and I'm looking into a replacement for the Apple Watch but with AirTags, nothing comes close.

Overall, I'm very impressed and unless Apple comes out with something groundbreaking, I'm sticking with Android. Just have to find a good smartwatch.

March 30 Episode of Dynamite: The Dawn Is Coming- This plays after the Bunny vs Toni Storm match is over, signaling that the Dawn is Coming.
April 6 Episode of Dynamite: Every Angel Is Terrifying- Blue lights go off as this music and this animation plays on the screen after the Hikaru Shida vs Julia Hart match.
April 13 Episode of Dynamite: The Heartless One Debuts- After MJF finishes his interview, the lights go out and blue lights lead the way on one of the entrance ways. They turn red when Heartless by The Weeknd plays. The camera zooms in to Victor Armstrong putting sunglasses on before dancing to the beat. He dances to the ring with red and blue lights filling the arena. Once he raises his hands, the lights stay red. "Dynamite. The home of sports entertainment and professional wrestling. Only the elite are here. And yes, that means me. You might be wondering why I'm here. Well I'll tell you why. One word, seven letters. F-R-E-E-D-O-M. Freedom. I can do whatever the hell I want here. I can make an open challenge to any damn person in that locker room tonight. But I'm not here for that. I want more. I am joining the Owen Hart Tournament. If Tony Khan wants to step in this ring and say that I have to prove myself, I will. Trust me." Tony Khan comes out and says that he's going to need to defeat someone for it. "Deal. I'll be waiting." He puts his sunglasses back on and sits on the top turnbuckle. Billy Gunn comes out and the match happens. Armstrong wins and is at the bottom of the tournament.
Singles: 1-0 Tag Team: 0-0 Trios: 0-0
Being The Elite 303: Join The Dark Order- Armstrong walks with headphones listening to The Weeknd. Alex Reynolds and John Silver catch up to him and compliment his red blazer. They then ask him to join the Dark Order. Victor takes his sunglasses and puts them on and smiles. He says yes. They are shocked, but glad. They lead him to their part of the arena and the rest cheer for him. They all shake his hand, one by one. Colt Cabana says that he knew a tailor, and had her make a new blazer for him. It's a red one with a zoomed Dark Order logo on the back. He puts it on and immediately loves it. He lets Colt keep the old one. Armstrong makes an ultimatum, He can join the Dark Order if he's the coach. They agree and the role is fulfilled.
April 19 Episode of Dark: The First Match- Victor Armstrong makes his first entrance as a member of The Dark Order as a coach. He's with competitors Evil Uno and Stu Grayson, Alan Angels, Preston Vance, Alex Reynolds, and John Silver.
April 20 Episode of Dynamite: Breaking The News- Victor Armstrong catches the AEW crowd up and tells them that he is the official coach of The Dark Order. He wants a match for the next Rampage. Serpentico comes on screen and asks for the match. Armstrong says, "Who is that?" and this makes Serpentico mad and says that he wiill make Victor remember.
April 22 Episode of Rampage: Who Are U?- Victor Armstrong takes on Serpentico. In an even 8 minute match, Armstrong hits the GTH and the Spear for the win. He shakes Serpentico's hand in respect. He also makes an open challenge to any man and woman to face him and Anna Jay at Dark.
Singles: 2-0 Tag Team: 0-0 Trios: 0-0
Being The Elite 304: Thinking About The Forbidden Door- The Dark Order talks about the opponents they want to face at Forbidden Door. Armstrong makes the list of Yujiro Takahashi, Evil, Hirooki Goto, Tetsuya Naito, Juice Robinson, or Zack Sabre Jr.
April 25 Episode of Elevation: Doing Coaching Things- Armstrong accompanies The Dark Order in 3 matches: Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Alex Reynolds, Alan Angels, and Preston Vance for one; John Silver for the next one; and Anna Jay for the final one. The Dark Order all won their respective matches.
April 26 Episode of Dark: Mixed Match: Armstrong and Jay get their challenge answered by Brian Pillman and Julia Hart. After 5 minutes, the Dark Order win the match. Griff Garrison comes out and attacks Armstrong with a steel chair before running away.
Singles: 2-0 Tag Team: 1-0 Trios: 0-0
May 4 Episode of Dynamite: Corrupt?- The Varsity Blonds make a promo challenging either the Dark Order or House of Black. House of Black come in and attack the Blonds before going after Julia Hart. Armstrong and the Dark Order help Hart out. Armstrong extends his hand to her and she accepts it. They hold her up and leave in the crowd.
Being The Elite 306: And Scene- The Dark Order talk about Harry Potter and Silver's match with CM Punk. Armstrong ends the segment with... and scene.
May 9 Episode of Dark: Coaching Duties- Victor Armstrong accompanies John Silver to his match with Tony Deppen.
May 10 Episode of Elevation: More Coaching Duties- Armstrong, Silver, Reynolds, and Angels are on the side of Evil Uno and 10 for their match. They win and Armstrong makes the challenge to Buddy Matthews at Dynamite.
May 11 Episode of Dynamite: The Secret Becomes Gossip- Armstrong, accompanied by Anna Jay, John Silver, and Alex Reynolds, faces Buddy Matthews. A clean mix of brawling and fighting, Matthews couldn't keep up with Victor's Muhammed Ali-like quickness. A spear ends the competitive match. Victor Armstrong is now 4-0 in AEW.
Singles: 3-0 Tag Team: 1-0 Trios: 0-0
May 18 Episode of Dynamite: Owen First Round- Armstrong faces Rey Fenix. Fenix's high-flying skills were no match for the reflexes of the Heartless One. Victor countered a moonsault into a vicious spear to win and advance to the semi-finals to face Samoa Joe.
Singles: 4-0 Tag Team: 1-0 Trios: 0-0
May 25 Episode of Dynamite: Owen Semi-Finals- Armstrong faces Samoa Joe. A hard-hitting battle has the floor literally shaking. Victor mainly aims for Joe's legs. The match ends with Joe locking in the Coquina Clutch, and Victor gasping for air. He picks Joe up and hits a stunner. Two GTHs and a spear ends the 20 minute match. Armstrong is now 6-0 in AEW.
Singles: 5-0 Tag Team: 1-0 Trios: 0-0
Double Or Nothing 2022: Owen Finals- The long-awaited showdown between Victor Armstrong and Adam Cole happens. The match was real competitive. Cole goes for a Panama Sunrise, but Victor lands on top of him. He hits a GTH and a spear to win the championship belt and trophy with Cole's partner, Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D.
Singles: 6-0 Tag Team: 1-0 Trios: 0-0
June 1 Episode of Dynamite: Staredown With His Goddess- Armstrong appears on stage to help his wife Athena, Anna Jay, and Kris Statlander even the odds against Jade Cargill, Kiera Hogan, Red Velvet, and Stokely Hathaway.
June 3 Episode of Dynamite: The Second House Guest- Armstrong has a match against Brody King. It is a very hard contest Armstrong wins after 10 minutes and a GTH and a spear.
Singles: 7-0 Tag Team: 1-0 Trios: 0-0
June 15 Episode of Dynamite: Road Rager- In an unlikey pairing, Malakai Black and Victor Armstrong are forced to team up together in a tag ladder match for the AEW World Tag Team Championships against Jurassic Express. The team actually win the titles, allowing Armstrong to become a double champ, both with Black and his wife Athena.
Singles: 7-0 Tag Team: 2-0 Trios: 0-0
June 23 Episode of Dynamite: The Fate Of Me is Set- Victor Armstrong sets up a match between Anna Jay and Julia Hart. If Jay wins, Malakai will break up the House Of Black. If Hart wins, Victor will join the House.
AEW x NJPW: Forbidden Door: The Fate Of Me- In the Buy-In, Julia beats Anna Jay clean. That means that Victor comes out to Heartless one last time. After their title defense against Roppongi Vice, Buddy Matthews and Brody King come out with Julia. They hold him down and take his red jacket. Julia hugs him. Armstrong has tears in his eyes because he is doing all of this for her. Black then hits him with the Black Mass as initiation.
Singles: 7-0 Tag Team: 3-0 Trios: 0-0
June 29 Episode of Dynamite: Blood And Guts- Armstrong competes in his first match as a member of House of Black. He is in a cloak and a Black Panther-type mask. He quickly defeats Ethan Page due to a GTH. He is now 11-0 in competition, 8-0 in singles matches. Swerve Strickland and Keith Lee come out to challenge the two to a match at Fyter Fest. It is later made as a triple threat match against Starks and Hobbs.
Singles: 8-0 Tag Team: 3-0 Trios: 0-0
July 13 Episode of Dynamite: Fyter Fest- In a shocking turn of events, Victor Armstrong suffers his first loss in AEW history, but did not get pinned by Lee.
Singles: 8-0 Tag Team: 3-1 Trios: 0-0
July 15 Episode of Rampage: Dark Order- Victor Armstrong finally faces people he mentored for a short time in Silver and Reynolds. House of Black obliterates Silver to end the match. Darby Allin and Victor Armstrong brawl as Malakai Black and Sting stare each other down.
Singles: 8-0 Tag Team: 4-1 Trios: 0-0
July 27 Episode of Dynamite: Fight For The Fallen- As Malakai and Victor are taking interviews, Armstrong wants Darby in a Coffin Match.
August 10 Episode of Dynamite: Coffin- The Coffin Match happens between the two. At one point, Allin is trying to climb a ladder before Armstrong gets up. He grabs Darby's arm and yanks it, causing his head to bash on the ladder and for him to fall on a barbed wire net. Armstrong tries to slam Darby through the ladder, but he ends up getting powerbombed through the ladder. Darby ends up choking Armstrong with a chain, leading to him falling in the coffin. This is Armstrong's first singles loss in AEW.
Singles: 8-1 Tag Team: 4-1 Trios: 0-0
August 26 Episode of Rampage: AEW Trios Tournament- Armstrong joins Buddy Matthews and Malakai Black to go against The Dark Order. This time Dark Order wins.
Singles: 8-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-0
All Out 2022: Breaking Away- As Sting, Darby Allin, and Miro defeat House of Black, Armstrong gives his cloak to Julia Hart, shrugs, and gets his sunglasses.
Singles: 8-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
September 14 Episode of Dynamite: The Heartless One Returns- Lights go out and The Weeknd starts playing. The red blazer wearing, sunglasses rocking sensation is back. Victor Armstrong states that he finally broke away from the House of Black and he's ready to take control for himself. He's done with the Dark Order and he wants a match tonight. Jay Lethal answers but Victor wins after 10 minutes with his devastating spear.
Singles: 9-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
September 23 Episode of Rampage: Grand Slam- Victor Armstrong is facing Sammy Guevara. After Tay grabbed Victor’s shoe, Sammy rocked Armstrong with a knee strike. Sammy hit the double jump cutter for a near fall! Armstrong rallied back with a lariat to Sammy. Armstrong used the GTH on Sammy. Armstrong nailed Sammy with the Heartless DDT and then a second Heartless DDT! Armstrong used a third Heartless DDT! He rocks Sammy with a Spear for the win as he winks at Tay!
Singles: 10-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
September 26 Episode of Dark Elevation- The Challenge is Made: Victor Armstrong appears behind the commentators asking for Paul Wight. He's not there, but Armstrong goes in the ring with a microphone letting Paul Wight know that he wants him as soon as possible.
October 5 Episode of Dynamite- 3rd Anniversary: Victor comes out with a balloon before he pops it to go in his match with Hangman Adam Page. Armstrong used a Heartless DDT for a near fall on Page. Page tried to retaliate with the Buckshot Lariat but Victor caught him with a Spear for the pinfall! Paul Wight showed up to shake his hand, but Victor sets the challenge for him: a match next week, which Wight accepts.
Singles: 11-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
October 12 Episode of Dynamite- Sammy jumps in: Just before the match between Armstrong and Wight happens, Sammy Guevara comes out and attacks Armstrong. After the attack, Guevara challenges Victor to a match on next week's Rampage.
October 21 Episode of Rampage- That Son of a Bitch: Guevara stomped Armstrong while they were in the corner and then hit Armstrong with a massive chop. Armstrong fought back with body punches. Armstrong followed up with a Heartless DDT. Guevara rolled up Armstrong for a near fall. Armstrong wasted no time and made Guevara pay after hitting him with a GTH for the win! After the match Paul Wight comes and wraps his hand around Armstrong's neck, wants him at Full Gear, and lets go.
Singles: 12-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
October 24 Episode of Dark- Bring Me Paul!: Armstrong brutalizes Paul Wight at the commentary desk with a kendo stick. He hits him until Wight starts bleeding. This 'distraction' causes The Wingmen the match against the Blackpool Combat Club.
October 27 Episode of Dark Elevation- Side Quests: Armstrong just had a match against Brandon Cutler. A spear out of Cutler's shoes ends this 2 minute match. A true free win.
Singles: 13-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
November 2 Episode of Dynamite- Face to Face: Victor Armstrong and Paul Wight come face to face. The main arguments are that at Full Gear, the match will finally happen. This is a match that Victor wanted to have since he first started wrestling. Paul Wight will make sure he wishes he never wanted that match. As Victor leaves the ring, he purposefully bumps into Wight, making him even more upset. Armstrong announces that he would love for Wight to commentate his next match on Rampage next week.
November 12 Episode of Rampage- A Front Row Seat: Victor Armstrong faces Lee Johnson with Paul Wight on commentary. A nice match goes on for around 9 minutes with Armstrong doing a Michael Jackson Sweep the Chin taunt at Paul Wight. Armstrong planted Lee with a Heartless DDT! Johnson ducked the Spear and rocked Victor with a thrust kick! Victor hit the GTH out of nowhere and pinned Big Shotty! Cole Karter tried to hit Victor from behind but Armstrong clocked him with the Spear!
Singles: 14-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
Full Gear 2022: It Happens- It's Victor Armstrong vs Paul Wight! After both men trying to suplex the other, Armstrong gets out of it and tries to pick up Wight for a GTH. His legs give out and he needs medical attention. With Wight distracted by Officials tending to Victor, Victor Armstrong runs behind him and hits that GTH. Once Wight gets back up, Armstrong hits the Spear for a 11-minute win.
Singles: 15-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
November 30 Episode of Dynamite: A Wrestling Match- Victor Armstrong faces off against Dax Harwood. Armstrong went for the GTH but Harwood intercepted. Dax attempted the slingshot powerbomb but Armstrong escaped by countering with a hurracanrana. Armstrong blasted Dax with punches to the gut. Dax countered Victor’s Spear with a slingshot Liger Bomb! After countering one another’s cradle pin attempts, Armstrong hit the Heartless DDT on Dax for the win!
Singles: 16-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
December 7 Episode of Dynamite: Making It Known- Victor talks to the fans. He says now that he's beaten Paul Wight, he's learned a lesson: in wrestling, you don't have to ask for a match, you can just take it. And he might take that match next year, next week, Friday, or tonight!
Being The Elite 326: Get Your Dues- Victor Armstrong finds Rush at a parking lot. He pushes him and lets him know that even though he's not with the Dark Order, if you mess with them, you mess with him. Rush tells him that Preston Vance betrayed him because he grew up. His leader to him would have been someone like Rush, not a ten-year-old. If Armstrong wants to do something about it, he'll face him at Rampage. Armstrong will make sure that Rush gets his dues.
December 16 Episode of Rampage: A Little Out of Hand- Armstrong faces Rush. Outside the ring, Rush connected with leaping knee strike. Rush climbed to the top rope and drove himself through Armstrong, crashing through the time keeper’s table! Rush used a crossbody off the top rope but Armstrong rolled through. Victor spiked Rush with a Heartless DDT. Armstrong turned Rush inside out with the Spear for the win! Preston Vance charged to the ring and began to brawl with Victor Armstrong. Vance went for the Lariat but Victor moved and Preston hit a security guard with the move! A team of AEW Security had to separate both men!
Singles: 17-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
December 23 Episode of Rampage: Intervening- Victor runs down the ring and eliminates Rush from the $300,000 Three Kings Christmas Casino Trios Royale, in support of Evil Uno, John Silver, and Alex Reynolds.
December 28 Episode of Dynamite: All Ego and No Eating- Victor goes against Ethan Page. Armstrong countered a slam by Page with a DDT. Victor Armstrong applied a cross face but Ethan Page managed to touch the bottom rope with his boot, forcing the ref to break the hold. Ethan Page had Victor on the top turnbuckle but Victor countered with hammer elbows. Page trapped Armstrong’s arm, propped him over his shoulder, and smashed him with an avalanche powerslam for a near fall! Playing possum so Page couldn't pick him up, Armstrong hits the GTH and a Spear for the win!
Singles: 18-1 Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
January 6 Episode of Rampage: Settling This Score- Armstrong faces Preston Vance. Armstrong was about to go for the Coffin Drop on Vance when Rush jumped into the ring to act as a human shield. As the ref forced Rush out of the ring, Preston shoved Armstrong off the top rope, sending him crashing onto the mat. Vance then locked a chokehold, which Armstrong countered into a GTH and a Spear for the win!
Singles: 19-1 (1-0 in 2023) Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
January 11 Episode of Dynamite: First Williams vs Ambrose, Now Armstrong vs Moxley!- A blast from the past, Victor Armstrong goes against former partner Jon Moxley. Moxley spiked Armstrong with a piledriver but Victor kicked out at the one-count! Moxley tried a round kick but Armstrong caught it and then rocked Mox with the Heartless DDT! Moxley got up and curb stomped Victor! Victor came up with a clothesline off the mat at Moxley. They traded palm strikes! Armstrong landed a lariat and then the After Hours Spear for the pin over Moxley!
Singles: 20-1 (2-0 in 2023) Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
January 18 Episode of Dynamite: Going Off- Renee Paquette interviews Victor Armstrong about his match against Jon Moxley. Armstrong says the following: "I felt great relief defeating Jon Moxley to get my 20th win here in AEW. He knows me inside out and I know him inside out, so there was no question that the match would've been crazy. The last time that I fought the individual behind Jon Moxley was when he was a goofier motherfucker. He was hoisting hot dog carts and unloading all over authority figures. Well now he's hoisting your baby girl and unloading all over you. But when you look at what he is now, he sure is a tougher son of a bitch. You of all people should know that. However, you need to remember this: the more things change, the more they stay the same. Even me, I'm wearing a red $3000 jacket and sunglasses looking like a bootleg Halloween version of The Weeknd. I even fucking come out to The Weeknd, and the crowd loves it! They sing the chorus, they sing the whole song. I feel like fucking Chris Jericho, only I'm younger and and I'm better than a bloated 52 year old rock star who is trying his hardest to stay relevant after his prime 13 years ago by creating a group of six monkey bitches and one excellent person who is a friend of mine, but two of said monkey bitches think that they're the greatest couple in wrestling history just because they're bad guys. They're not. That's me and my wife. Renee, you have interviewed a bunch of wrestlers on your podcast, Oral Sessions, and you've also been interviewed by Jon Moxley on Anal Sessions. But you have never been in the presence of a more diligent, vigilant, meticulous, sagacious, conscientious, analytical, methodical individual than me. Thank you for your time."
January 20 Episode of Rampage: Is Payback Coming Tonight?- Victor Armstrong faces a member of the Jericho Appreciation Society in Daniel Garcia. Victor used a Heartless DDT-Suplex combination. Armstrong wiped out Garcia with a back elbow to the floor. Armstrong followed up with a suicide elbow for a near fall. Garcia and Armstrong exchanged kicks and then Victor sat out with a neck breaker for a two-count on Garcia! Garcia sat out with a pump handle for a near fall on Armstrong. Garcia was looking for the Dragon Tamer but Victor cradled him for a near fall. Armstrong connected with a Pele kick off the top rope and then an After Hours Spear for the pin on Garcia! After that, Victor grabbed a mic and ran into the crowd. "Daniel Garcia, it is now time for you to take out your metro card and get aboard the L Train! Put your motherfuckin' head down you goddamn bum! Record got me feeling like The damn Undertaker!"
Singles: 21-1 (3-0 in 2023) Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
January 25 Episode of Dynamite: A Fucking Challenge- Jon Moxley storms down the ring to express his frustrations toward Victor Armstrong's comments on Renee's show. Vic has gone too far and he's gonna die if he gets in this ring again! The Jericho Appreciation Society wants their hands on Victor first, but Victor comes out and challenges both Mox and Jericho to a triple threat match at Revolution!
February 8 Episode of Dynamite: Armstrong vs Garcia- Jericho distracted Armstrong until Garcia attacked Armstrong from behind! Armstrong tried for a spear but Daniel Garcia countered with a body lock front guillotine. Armstrong fired back with a GTH and a Spear for the three! Chris Jericho comes from behind and hits Armstrong with a Judas Effect! Jon Moxley comes out and fights all JAS members until they retreat. He then hits Victor Armstrong with a Paradigm Shift!
Singles: 22-1 (4-0 in 2023) Tag Team: 4-2 Trios: 0-1
February 15 Episode of Dynamite: Texas Tornado- There is a brief reunion between Victor Armstrong and Jon Moxley as they face Rush and Preston Vance. Moxley rocked Rush with a cutter! Armstrong took Rush off his feet with a massive clothesline. Jose the Assistant cracked Armstrong with a steel chair. Wheeler Yuta ran down and battered Jose up the ramp with forearms. Victor speared Rush but Vance broke up the pin at the last possible moment. Rush chopped at Victor while Armstrong returned fire with punches. Mox used the chain on Vance and made him submit with a choke while Rush was occupied. Victor then returned the favor from last week with a Spear!
Singles: 22-1 (4-0 in 2023) Tag Team: 5-2 (1-0 in 2023) Trios: 0-1
March 1 Episode of Dynamite: Sitting At The Stage- After Chris Jericho defeats Peter Avalon, Victor Armstrong comes out and attacks all members of JAS with a Kendo Stick! He sets a chair on the stage and sits down. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am the diligent, vigilant, meticulous, sagacious, conscientious, analytical, methodical individual, THE Victor Armstrong! And I am the winner of the epic triple threat match between Jon Moxley and the bloated old man I just knocked out, Chris Jericho. What I just did is prove that the Jericho Appreciation Society is a weak pair of assholes who feel like they run the show when The Heartless One is right here. Now I don't get in the ring every week. But when I do, I show up and I show out! If you don't believe me, I have held the true biggest prize in Professional Wrestling history for damn near a whole year. All while people thought that it was a terrible thing that someone so unknown could hold such a belt for so long. I proved the critics wrong, and I will prove both Bitch Jericho and Gone Moxley on March 5 at Revolution by making them take out their metro cards and get aboard the motherfuckin' L Train! Thank you for your time, I'll see you tomorrow!"
March 2 Episode of Ring of Honor TV: Hello, ROH!- After Athena talks with Willow Nightingale, Victor Armstrong's picture comes on screen with these words sentence by sentence: "Hello Ring of Honor! I am the diligent, vigilant, meticulous, sagacious, conscientious, analytical, methodical individual, THE Victor Armstrong! And I am finally here. I'll be honest, if ROH didn't go out of business, this would be the company I signed with. I would be ROH Champion by now. But it's always better to be late than never. I can't be with you right now, but I will be after Revolution on Sunday. Will I be beaten up? Of course. Will I win? Of course. And before you know it, I'll compete in Ring of Honor. And I already have my opponent in sight... Dalton Castle! This was a dream match for me ever since 2017. Don't be a bitch, Dalton. Thank you for your time."
Revolution 2023: A Triple Threat Dream Match- Victor faces Chris Jericho and Jon Moxley in a triple threat match. With all three men bloodied, the match is hitting a boiling point. It ends with Jericho hitting the Judas Effect on Moxley and going for one on Armstrong. When he does, Victor is able to pick him up and hit him with the GTH for the three count. "Chris Jericho, it's time for you and Mox to take out your metro cards, and get aboard... the L Train!"
Singles: 23-1 (5-0 in 2023) Tag Team: 5-2 (1-0 in 2023) Trios: 0-1

Note: The original version of this article was auto-deleted by Reddit the moment it was posted. As I was given no indication why, I had to hazard a guess it was all the external links. So, I have deleted all references and citations to some of the claims I will make. If you wanted a proper source, too bad...
What makes a weapon "good?" Is it the damage, the fire rate, or a combination of both? How about effective range? Maybe it's the perk cards that are good and whatever weapon works with them are what's best. Whatever it may be, a lot of thought and evaluation goes into weapon choice.
We primarily use a weapon's stats for determining what is worth using. The game does a decent job of showing us what a weapon is capable of. When we examine a ranged weapon in our Pip-boy, it tells us the damage, ammo type, fire rate, range, accuracy, weight, and cap value. Some of those stats are more important than others. But those Pip-boy stats cover less than a third of the true capability of a weapon. Ammo capacity isn't apparent until you equip the weapon. The Pip-boy only manages to tell us the damage and an approximate attack speed for melee weapons. It doesn't even give us a number like we do for fire rate. And even that fire rate number is in a form that isn't clear. We've played long enough to know it's how many rounds that can be fired over ten seconds. Still, the game is stingy with information. The goal of this article is to share some of the lesser known statistics for nearly every weapon in the game.
Individual weapon pages on the Fandom wiki lists some lesser known stats under the "Technical" tab for the majority of all weapons. Many of these "technical stats" cover things like projectile count, range penalties, stagger intensity, into and out of aim-down-sights time, reload, and a host of more complex stats. These technical stats appear to be gathered from Nukacrypt's Esm Viewer, an extensive database of all code hidden within the game files. If I've done my research correctly, ESM is the file extension Bethesda often uses for their game code. It stands for Elder Scrolls Master file.
Further down, you will find tables for every weapon class in the game compiling some of the lesser known technical stats. The Fandom wiki does list all of these on their website, but there are several errors and missing information that I have corrected and added below. They are also listed individually on each weapon's page. I found it difficult to compare weapons without the need for opening multiple browser tabs, so I combined everything into a series of neat tables. Some of the column heads are self-explanatory. The less apparent technical stats are described immediately below. I have also omitted a wide variety of other stats like Spin up, Bolt time, Projectile type, and more to keep a clearer, more concise set of tables.
Range Penalty - Damage outside of a weapon's Range stat deals reduced damage depending on the the penalty stat. For example: if a Shotgun (90% Range Penalty) would normally deal 100 total damage on hit, it will only deal 10 damage outside its maximum range.
Sound - is how large your detection radius is when firing a weapon. The five degrees of Sound go from Silent -> Quiet -> Normal -> Loud -> Very Loud. The Mister Sandman perk works on ranged weapons designated Silent or Quiet. The perk does not seem to function on melee weapons (tested on unarmed).
Stagger - is measured in three degrees of intensity ranging from Small, Medium, and Large. Bashing with a ranged weapon is the most reliable way of staggering. Power attacks with melee also cause a stagger. Certain perks add to a weapon's stagger chance when firing. It's uncertain if the stagger intensity from perks is determined by the value on the weapon or from the card itself. I do not know if weapons have an innate firing stagger chance.
Attack Speed/Attack Delay - Both are involved in a fancy formula meant to ultimately determine Fire Rate for every weapon. This is omitted from all tables except Pistols and Auto melee due to its complexity. I left it in Pistols to illustrate how the game handles Fire Rate. I left it in Auto melee because attack speed differs weapon to weapon in this class. From what I've read, Attack Delay is divided by Speed to return Seconds Per Attack. You then divide 10 seconds by Seconds Per Attack to return the Fire Rate stat. When a weapon can be converted to automatic, Attack Delay is dropped from the formula. I tried this formula out myself, but the weapons I looked at seemed to be off by a bullet per second. My wild guess is that it doesn't take into account the first bullet you fire at second zero. Once you fire your first shot, the Seconds Per Attack number works its magic. But, again, I've eliminated this stat from most tables. I just found it interesting.
Reload - is defined as Animation Reload Seconds in the .esm files. Reload Speed is an unknown modifier effecting weapon reloads. Some discussion suggests higher values speed up reloads. This will become more relevant under the Rifles section. Otherwise, Reload is pretty self-explanatory; it's the time it takes in seconds to shove more bullets into your gun.
As mentioned previously, the majority of these values were gathered from the Fandom wiki. Again, there were several obvious errors or missing information that I found myself from Nukacrypt's esm database. Human error is a very real thing. There may be more values that look correct, but aren't actually.
If it's not obvious, stuff like Reload, Draw, Attack Speed, Sight, and Unsight are time in seconds.
Table values in bold illustrate what I feel is good for its class. Table values that are italicized illustrate what I feel is bad for its class.

Pistols

First up, the red-headed stepchild class of ranged weapons: the modest pistol.

Weapon	Bash	Range Penalty	Sound	Stagger	Reload	Attack Speed	Attack Delay	Draw	Sight	Unsight	Charge time	Charge penalty
.44 pistol	10	50%	Loud	Small	3.33	0.83	0.15	0.30	0.12	0.15
10mm pistol	10	50%	Loud	Small	1.97	0.67	0.23	0.15	0.12	0.15
Alien blaster	10	50%	Normal	Small	2.87	0.67	0.10	0.15	0.12	0.15
Black powder blunderbuss	10	50%	Loud	Small	5.00	0.67	x	0.25	0.12	0.15
Black powder pistol	10	50%	Loud	Small	5.00	0.67	x	0.25	0.12	0.15
Crusader pistol	10	50%	Loud	Small	1.97	0.67	0.23	0.15	0.12	0.15
Flare gun	10	50%	Quiet	Small	4.53	0.83	x	0.20	0.12	0.15
Gamma gun	10	50%	Normal	Small	4.33	0.66	0.15	0.25	0.12	0.15	1.00	75%
Gauss pistol	15	50%	Loud	Small	4.10	0.67	0.15	0.25	0.15	0.15	1.00	80%
Salvaged assaultron head	10	50%	Loud	Small	0.83	0.67	0.15	0.25	0.20	0.20
Single action revolver	10	50%	Loud	Small	3.00	0.83	0.15	0.20	0.12	0.15
Thirst zapper	5	50%	Normal	None	5.37	0.67	0.10	0.25	0.15	0.15
Western revolver	10	50%	Loud	Small	3.33	0.83	0.15	0.30	0.12	0.15

I won't be discussing Bash damage much as it is largely a worthless mechanic outside of the Minigun shredder and forcing a stagger. Bash damages varies the most in the Pistol category. Most everything else deals 15 damage on a Bash. Maybe there is some hyper-specific build that allows you to put up some impressive numbers, but it feels too slow to be a viable strategy. Who knows, maybe the Bash meta is right around the corner.
The Gamma Gun, Thirst Zapper, and Alien Blaster are quieter than the majority of all unsuppressed pistols. The Flare Gun is technically the quietest, but it's a worthless weapon, and I probably should have just omitted it altogether.
You might notice that the Crusader Pistol is just a reskin of the 10mm with more damage and different modifications. Every technical stat appears to be the exact same.
The Charge Penalty stat for the Gauss pistol seems to be more severe compared to its rifle and shotgun counterpart (80% pistol vs 50% rifle/shotgun). I'm not too sure how this functions exactly. Obviously, if you do not fully charge Gauss weapons, they do less damage. But is this a sliding scale type of thing? If I fire a Gauss pistol at 95% charged, do I only deal 20% of my normal damage or is it higher? Is that 80% just the highest penalty if I fire at 0% charge? Will a Gauss rifle/shotgun deal half its damage at 0% charge?
The Salvaged assaultron head has a wicked fast reload, but it is meant to be reloaded multiple times to "charge" up it's damage. Personally, I think this is the strongest weapon per shot in the entire game when Quad. Unfortunately, the developers did something to "cap" the weapon's true damage. I've done over 100,000 damage against the fusion core of the Sentry Bot (10x limb modifier). But it you take that to something like a scorchbeast, you'll see thousands of damage dealt, with 20 reloads stored up, but only 40% or so of the scorchbeast's health missing. It's probably for the best, otherwise every build would be Quad assaultron head.

Rifles

The Fandom wiki incorrectly states the Gauss Rifle as having a Projectile Count of two. The below table changes the Projectile Count to what Nukacrypt Database has: one.
Something strange is going on with the reload of the Hunting Rifle and Syringer. The .esm file has something called "Animation Reload Seconds" and "Reload Speed." Animation Reload Seconds is what we would consider the time it takes to reload a weapon. I do not know what Reload Speed is, but discussion about Fallout 4 mechanics suggests higher values quicken reload times. Most weapons have a Reload Speed value of 1.0. The Hunting Rifle is the only weapon I've seen that has a Reload Speed value higher than the others, sitting at 1.25. My guess is that this value acts as a modifier for Animation Reload Seconds. Perhaps bonuses from Speed Demon, weapon modifications, and the Rapid legendary star are applied to this value. Frankly, I have no idea.
More weapons may have a default Reload Speed value different than 1.0. However, I don't quite feel like investing that much time checking every single weapon in the database. But if you find another weapon with a different base Reload Speed, let me know and I will update these tables. The Reload value in parentheses for the Hunting Rifle in the table is Animation Reload Seconds. The outside number is Reload Speed.
As for the Syringer, I put "X's" on either side of it's Reload time because that value seems erroneous. There are other weapons that have impossible Animation Reload Seconds values and the game likely overwrites the value with something else. You'll see more of these erroneous values under the Pistol/Rifle Hybrid section.

Weapon	Projectile Count	Bash	Range Penalty	Sound	Stagger	Reload	Draw	Sight	Unsight	Charge time	Charge penalty
10mm submachine gun	1	10	50%	Loud	Small	3.00	0.15	0.12	0.15
Alien disintegrator	1	15	50%	Normal	Medium	3.20	0.35	0.20	0.20
Assault rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	1.93	0.35	0.20	0.20
Black powder rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	8.00	0.45	0.20	0.20
Combat rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Medium	3.20	0.35	0.20	0.20
Gauss rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	4.20	0.25	0.25	0.20	1.00	50%
Handmade	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	3.03	0.35	0.20	0.20
Hunting rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	1.25(4.00)	0.20	0.20	0.20
Lever action rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	1.77	0.25	0.20	0.20
Radium rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Medium	3.57	0.25	0.20	0.20
Railway rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	3.37	0.25	0.25	0.20
Submachine gun	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	3.23	0.15	0.20	0.20
Syringer	1	15	50%	Silent	Small	x10.00x	0.25	0.15	0.15
Tesla rifle	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	4.20	0.45	0.25	0.20	1.00	50%
The Dragon	4	15	50%	Loud	Small	13.00	0.25	0.20	0.20
The Fixer	1	15	50%	Loud	Medium	3.20	0.35	0.20	0.20

The Alien Disintegrator is the quietest unsuppressed rifle. It also shares having the highest Stagger with the Combat rifle, Radium rifle, and The Fixer.
The Lever action and Assault rifle have very impressive reload speeds. The Assault rifle reloads as quickly as the 10mm and Crusader pistol.
The Dragon and Black Powder Rifle lose so much DPS to that 13 and 8 second reload time. Clearly Bethesda wants you to assign 10 Dragons to every single spot on your hot bar. Quick Hands perk would gain some value here, except it doesn't seem to work on black powder weapons.

Pistol/Rifle Hybrid

These weapons can be considered either Pistol or Rifle depending on the stock/grip you give them. For whatever reason, the reload values for most of these weapons is completely wrong. I'm guessing there is some other file or attachment that overwrites and handles the true values for these weapons.

Weapon	Bash	Range Penalty	Sound	Stagger	Reload	Draw	Sight	Unsight
Enclave plasma	15	50%	Loud	Small	2.33	0.15	0.15	0.20
Laser gun	15	50%	Loud	Small	x0.00x	0.15	0.15	0.18
Pipe bolt-action	10	75%	Loud	Small	x10.00x	0.15	0.15	0.18
Pipe gun	10	75%	Loud	Small	x10.00x	0.15	0.15	0.18
Pipe revolver	10	75%	Loud	Small	x10.00x	0.30	0.15	0.18
Plasma gun	15	50%	Loud	Small	2.33	0.15	0.15	0.20
Ultracite laser gun	10	50%	Loud	Small	x0.00x	0.15	0.15	0.18

What I find notable here is that Pipe weapons were designed to be replaced as soon as possible. The average Range Penalty for weapons is 50%, but the Pipe class has to suffer with 75% damage falloff out of range.
With the reload values broken for most of these weapons, there isn't a whole lot to evaluate. I suppose the 2.33 second reload time on the (Enclave)Plasma gun is pretty good, but that may change with stock/grip weapon mod conversion. It does seem like something else is determining reload times for the hybrid class of weapons.

Shotguns

Since it is considered both a shotgun and heavy gun, I've listed the Peppershaker both here and in the Heavy guns section so you can compare it to both.

Weapon	Projectile Count	Bash	Range Penalty	Sound	Stagger	Reload	Draw	Sight	Unsight	Charge time	Charge penalty
Combat shotgun	8	15	90%	Loud	Small	3.20	0.35	0.20	0.20
Double-barrel shotgun	8	15	90%	Loud	Small	3.07	0.20	0.20	0.20
Gauss shotgun	8	15	90%	Loud	Small	2.67	0.35	0.20	0.20	1.00	50%
Peppershaker	8	15	75%	Very Loud	Small	3.37	0.25	0.30	0.30
Pump action shotgun	8	15	90%	Loud	Small	2.50	0.20	0.20	0.20

I'm not sure if the Peppershaker takes the best or worst from the shotgun and heavy classes. On the one hand, a mere 75% Range Penalty makes it outstanding when compared to shotguns (90% typical), but terrible for heavy guns (50% typical). The Reload is lackluster among shotguns, and only average for heavy guns.
Peppershaker aside, the Pump action reloads quickest, and the Combat shotgun reloads the slowest. The Gauss shotgun reload is notably quick as well.

Bow

Weapon	Bash	Range Penalty	Sound	Stagger	Reload	Draw	Sight	Unsight	Charge time	Charge penalty
Bow	10	50%	Quiet	Small	0.10	0.25	0.15	0.15	1.40	70%
Compound bow	10	50%	Quiet	Small	2.67	0.50	0.15	0.15	2.00	50%
Crossbow	15	90%	Quiet	Small	2.83	0.15	0.18	0.20

Bows are the one class I've never built. Do they even use the Reload stat? I imagine the Crossbow would, but the Bow? 0.10 on the Bow versus 2.67 on the Compound is too much of a difference.
It seems like the standard Bow has the advantage over the Compound bow in terms of Charge Time. Though the Compound bow loses less damage from not fully charging.
The Crossbow has a 90% Range Penalty. That's terrible. Shotgun levels of terrible.

Heavy Guns

Weapon	Projectile Count	Bash	Range Penalty	Sound	Stagger	Reload	Draw	Sight	Unsight
.50 cal machine gun	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	5.00	0.25	0.30	0.30
Cryolator	1	15	50%	Normal	Small	2.50	0.25	0.20	0.20
Flamer	1	15	30%	Normal	Small	3.83	0.25	0.25	0.30
Gatling gun	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	3.17	0.25	0.30	0.30
Gatling laser	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	4.87	0.20	0.30	0.30
Gatling plasma	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	6.83	0.25	0.30	0.30
Gauss minigun	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	3.37	0.25	0.30	0.30
Harpoon gun	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	4.10	0.85	0.25	0.20
Light machine gun	1	15	50%	Loud	Small	3.66	0.20	0.25	0.20
Peppershaker	8	15	75%	Very Loud	Small	3.37	0.25	0.30	0.30
Minigun	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	3.37	0.25	0.30	0.30
Plasma caster	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	5.33	0.25	0.30	0.30
Ultracite gatling laser	1	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	4.87	0.25	0.30	0.30

A surprising amount of variety here. As many have noticed, the Cryolator and Flamer are fairly quiet weapons for their class. The Harpoon and Light machine gun somehow manage to be one Sound level lower than the remaining heavy weapons. As far as the game it concerned, an LMG makes as much noise as an unsuppressed 10mm pistol. I'd expect them to be Very Loud with the rest of their class.
The Cryolator has the best Reload, which makes sense as it holds very little ammo. The Gatling Plasma has the worst Reload.
Interesting anecdote about the Flamer. When Bethesda converted it to fire damage instead of energy, a lot of people pulled out their legacy explosive flamers and gave them a spin. I remember people saying they felt abnormally tuned up when converted to legacy explosive bullets. Perhaps that crazy small 30% Range Penalty was to blame. Only two weapons have a Range Penalty as low as 30%. The other is in the next section.
Seems the Harpoon gun is the weird one when it comes to Draw time. Draw seems to be a largely worthless stat. Some weapons, like said Harpoon gun, are able to fire immediately upon Draw, weapon switch, and stimpak use. Sometimes it depends on whether the player is in first or third person. Try it out some time with your weapons. Next time you have to pop a stimpak outside of Power Armor or quick switching weapons, pull your trigger and see if the gun shoots before the animation finishes. It's a wild weapon-by-weapon specific quirk worth looking into.

Explosive Launcher

Weapon	Bash	Range Penalty	Sound	Stagger	Reload	Draw	Sight	Unsight
Auto grenade launcher	15	50%	Very Loud	Small	5.00	0.25	0.30	0.30
Broadsider	15	30%	Loud	Large	3.93	0.25	0.30	0.30
Fatman	15	50%	Normal	Medium	5.63	0.80	0.30	0.20
Hellstorm missle launcher	15	50%	Loud	Small	3.33	0.80	0.25	0.20
M79 grenade launcher	15	90%	Loud	Small	3.00	0.25	0.20	0.20
Missile launcher	15	50%	Loud	Small	4.27	0.80	0.25	0.20

A lot of wacky stuff happening here. There is a wide variety of Range Penalties among this weapon class, but most Explosive launchers only deal 1 damage on their projectiles (the Hellstorm being the unique one), making Range Penalty mostly irrelevant. The Broadsider only has a 30% penalty. The M79 has a 90% penalty. (Side note: long ago, when the game first released, the M79 increased damage with shotgun perks. Shotguns mostly have a Range penalty of 90%. Just pointing that out.) But, again, why does it matter and why does it vary so much?
Also exceptional about the Broadsider, it has the highest Stagger intensity of every single weapon in the game. Bash a Super mutant behemoth with a Broadsider? He actually flinches. Anything else? Laughter followed by him forcefully relocating your head into your chest cavity.
In terms of Sound, the Auto grenade launcher is the loudest weapon of its class. Shockingly, the Fatman, owner of the largest, most destructive mini-nuclear explosion, only rates as Normal on the Sound index. I suppose it makes sense as it's just a handheld catapult that literally throws its payload at the enemy. It also has an impressive Medium Stagger intensity.
The only real good thing the M79 has going for it is its Reload and Sight/Unsight times. I suppose it has the best chance of getting Aim Down Sights off after a reload for that sweet sweet +25% damage while aiming legendary star...
The Hellstorm has a pretty impressive Reload as well. The Auto grenade launcher and Fatman have the worst Reload of their class. The Auto grenade doesn't suffer as much as the Fatman does thanks to having an ammo capacity higher than 1.

One-handed

Finally, the melee weapons!

Weapon	Sound	Stagger	Attack speed
Assaultron blade	Quiet	Small	1.14
Baton	Quiet	Small	1.14
Bone club	Quiet	Small	1.14
Bowie knife	Silent	None	0.79
Cattleprod	Quiet	Small	1.14
Chinese officer sword	Quiet	Small	1.14
Combat knife	Silent	None	0.79
Commie Whacker	Quiet	Small	1.14
Cultist blade	Quiet	Small	1.14
Cultist dagger	Silent	None	0.79
Guitar sword	Quiet	Small	1.14
Hatchet	Quiet	Small	1.14
Lead pipe	Quiet	Small	1.14
Machete	Quiet	Small	1.14
Meteoritic sword	Quiet	Small	1.14
Pipe wrench	Quiet	Small	1.14
Plasma cutter	Quiet	Medium	1.14
Revolutionary sword	Silent	Small	1.14
Rolling pin	Quiet	Small	1.14
Sheepsquatch club	Quiet	Small	1.14
Shishkebab	Normal	Small	1.14
Sickle	Quiet	Small	1.14
Ski sword	Quiet	Small	1.14
Switchblade	Silent	None	0.79
Tire iron	Quiet	Small	1.14
Walking cane	Quiet	Small	1.14

The Revolutionary sword, Shishkebab, and Plasma cutter are the odd weapons here. The Revolutionary sword is the only Silent weapon that maintains some level of Stagger. The Plasma cutter is the only one-handed melee with a Medium Stagger. The Shishkebab is the loudest and worst one-handed for stealth.
The Switchblade, Bowie, Combat, and Cultist daggeknife are about 30% faster on attacks than their peers. The trade-off for this seems to be the inability to stagger with a power attack.

Two-handed

The inclusion of the largely worthless Protest sign in this class was done to prevent any sort of picketing from enthusiasts.

Weapon	Sound	Stagger	Attack speed
Baseball bat	Quiet	Medium	1.80
Board	Quiet	Medium	1.80
Bone hammer	Normal	Medium	1.80
Electro enforcer	Normal	Medium	1.80
Fire axe	Quiet	Medium	1.80
Golf club	Normal	Medium	1.80
Grognak axe	Quiet	Medium	1.80
Gulper Smacker	Quiet	Medium	1.80
Multi-purpose axe	Normal	Medium	1.80
Pickaxe	Normal	Medium	1.80
Pitchfork	Normal	Small	1.67
Pole hook	Normal	Medium	1.80
Pool cue	Quiet	Medium	1.80
Protest sign	Quiet	None	1.80
Sheepsquatch staff	Normal	Medium	1.80
Shepherd’s crook	Normal	Medium	1.80
Shovel	Normal	Medium	1.80
Sledgehammer	Normal	Medium	1.80
Spear	Normal	Small	1.67
Super sledge	Loud	Medium	1.80
The Tenderizer	Loud	Medium	1.80
War drum	Loud	Medium	1.80
War glaive	Normal	Medium	1.80

The Pitchfork and Spear has a slightly faster base swing speed than the other two-handed melee weapons. The trade-off there is lower Stagger intensity.
The Baseball bat, Board, Fire axe, Grognak axe, Gulper smacker, and Pool cue are the quietest two-handed melee weapons.
The Tenderizer, Super sledge, and War drum are Loud and pretty terrible for any sort of stealth build.

Unarmed

Weapon	Sound	Stagger	Attack speed
Bear Arm	Quiet	Small	1.14
Boxing glove	Silent	Small	1.14
Death tambo	Silent	Small	1.14
Deathclaw gauntlet	Quiet	Small	1.14
Gauntlet	Quiet	Small	1.14
Knuckles	Silent	Small	1.14
Meat hook	Silent	Small	1.14
Mole miner gauntlet	Quiet	Small	1.14
Power fist	Quiet	Small	1.14

Based on these technical stats, Unarmed and One-handed appear to be nearly identical. The only difference here I see is that the Silent class of Unarmed doesn't have a quicker attack speed. Otherwise, they are pretty straightforward.

Auto melee

I've decided to pull these weapons out of their respective classes because it makes more sense to compare them with each other.
This set of weapons is wild and difficult to evaluate. For whatever reason, weapons like the Chainsaw and Drill have a stat for Range Penalty, Draw, Sight, and Unsight. And the values for Range Penalty differ from each other. The Auto axe has a stat for reload time. Why have any of these? Maybe they need to be considered a gun so they can function like the Minigun with the Shredder attachment? The reload time for the Minigun and Auto axe seem to be the same value, so there is some evidence of that.
I was debating including Attack speed or not for these weapons because three of them have an Attack delay for some reason. I don't understand the fire rate formula well enough to give them a proper evaluation, but if you understand it, you are welcome to give it a try.

Weapon	Type	Sound	Stagger	Attack speed	Attack delay
Auto axe	Two-handed	Very Loud	Small	1.14	1.00
Chainsaw	Two-handed	Very Loud	Small	2.20	1.00
Drill	One-handed	Quiet	None	1.12	0.15
Mr. Handy buzz blade	Two-handed	Normal	None	1.67
Ripper	One-handed	Normal	None	1.12

Everybody's favorite auto melee weapons, the Auto axe and Chainsaw are Very Loud and very proud. The Drill manages to be the quietest auto melee weapon, so that's something positive going for it.
The Drill, Mr. Handy buzz blade, and Ripper cannot stagger an enemy.
On a side note, I wish the unarmed Gauntlet (the weapon with a spinning industrial saw at the end of it) worked like an auto melee weapon. It would have been nice for unarmed to have at least one weapon of this functionality.

In conclusion...

I hope you enjoyed this article. I had a lot of fun writing it and managed to learn a few things. I hope you learned a few things too. I know we're all set in the current meta, and I don't expect this will mix things up much, but hopefully this will be useful for some odd gamer looking for a specific statistic on a certain type of weapon for some niche build.
A more complete evaluation can be done if someone ever takes the time to show how these lesser known base weapon stats change with their specific weapon modifications. But until then...
Take care!

8:02 a.m.
When I entered Charlie’s this morning, Lacie and Maura were already there. Lacie sat behind the service desk, speaking quickly with her hands while Maura soaked up every word she said.
Lacie had been working with Maura and Gabe to help them harvest the energy supply of Charlie’s. Many customers leave a sort of emotional footprint when they shop here. Since they clearly weren’t going anywhere, Lacie decided to teach them how to harvest the energy from those emotions. It helped them retain memories, better understand the world, and interact with their surroundings. They had been unconsciously doing it since they first appeared here after death, but she was teaching them how to control it.
This lesson seemed a bit different today, though. The 1st thing I heard come out of Maura’s mouth was, “So they no longer do lobotomies, but you all will willing poke holes in your body for fashion?” She reached out and lightly flicked Lacie’s septum piercing while she said “fashion,” making Lacie giggle.
“How underfunded was your asylum if they still did lobotomies?” asked Lacie.
Maura rolled her eyes. “Why do you think I wanted to leave so bad?”
Lacie giggled again before finally acknowledging me. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I responded with a smile. “Hey, Maura.”
“Yo,” she responded.
I walked over to register one and put in my log in code in preparation for the day. Lacie asked if I needed her help with anything, but I told her they could keep doing their thing. Before I had even walked off, however, history class was abruptly put on hold. Our attention went toward the sliding glass doors as two women entered, one younger and one older.
The gears in my head began to turn as I realized I recognized the woman, but I couldn’t remember from where.
And then it hit me.
Ursula Jones was walking towards us. The Father’s replacement.
Surprisingly, weapons are not hot commodity at Charlie’s. I mean, they are, but they aren’t laying out all willy nilly. Most are in protective packaging. So, to defend myself, I picked up the thing closest to me: the conveyor belt grocery divider. I brandished it like a sword, pointing it right at the enemy.
“Good morning, darlings!” greeted Ursula as she placed a ribbonned basket of muffins onto the register’s conveyor belt. Her short brown hair was rolled into poodle cut curls. She wore a simple black dress, black flats, pearl earrings, and bright red lipstick. Very fashionable, but I know enough about femme fatales not to let my guard down.
She gave my makeshift weapon a look of pity before gently moving it downwards with one finger. “Did the previous owners not tell you?”
The younger girl, a miniature of Ursula and surely her daughter, eyed us curiously as she sucked on a cherry red lollipop. She was decked out in more black than her mother with three cross necklaces adorning her neck, all of their chains at varying lengths. The only color about her was the forrest green tips to her long black hair.
“Tell us what?” asked Lacie. I could tell by the fist clenched at her side that she was also on high alert and ready to summon any number of powers to defend the store.
Ursula gave us a wide grin. “I’m the new owner of Charlie’s,” she announced before motioning to her gothly daughter. “And this is my daughter Daisy, your new store manager.”

9:10 a.m.
While randomly getting new bosses today might be stressful to us and possibly even you, dear reader, especially if you’ve been in a similar scenario, the owners have never been fond of other’s emotions. Wanna know how they told us goodbye? After I called them approximately 15 times, all of which got sent to voicemail, and also text them asking what was going on, they finally gave us a response. The response was creating a group chat, sending a message to said group chat containing only the peace sign emoji, and then blocking all of our numbers.
However, as long as the doors are open, the customers will keep coming. And they did, and so the day went on. Before we had even had time to process the huge change and how it might impact us, we were getting our morning rush.
“Ahem,” said a voice behind me.
I turned around to find Daisy waiting expectantly with her hot pink clipboard. It had black and white star stickers all over the back. “I would very much like for you to show me all of this business’ amenities.”
I nodded before pausing my task. I would have to finish counting the clown statues later. The only reason I had started counting them was because a customer told me they saw one wandering around, which would explain why they had been going missing over the last few weeks. I got up to 13, so don’t let me forget that number.
I took her to the Bloody Bathroom first and explained its historical significance. When the blood flow was still a thing to worry about, we would jokingly say the bathroom was menstruating. The bathroom hadn’t had its time of the month in a while, but it’s definitely something we would not forget.
Next up, I brought her to Gary’s deli. While she seemed rather cheerful at Gary’s lovable demeanor, I think she was a little put off when he couldn’t tell her where his Special of the Day spleens had come from. My stern look told him to keep quiet, which made his smile quickly disappear and disappointment take its place. She asked me if I ordered it, and I told her I let Gary handle the deli tasks. I also chose not to mention that I had accidentally found Gary’s little black book of victims a while back, and I had a good guess at just how well he knew those spleens. To be fair, little black books of all kinds are not considered conversational topics to me, but our little hunter Gary will always have a soft spot in my heart no matter how deranged he seems.
After the fifth “Gary forgot” that the poor guy muttered, I distracted Daisy by mentioning the display he regularly decorated to brag on him a bit. Deranged or not, the guy has definitely got some talent. Errr…uh, in the decorating department, not the carving one.
I ended the tour with some of the new additions to Charlie’s: the Witch’s Brew Cafe, the magical vending machine, the housewares department, and the extension of the parking lot. She had a few questions as to why there was a wizard living in the parking lot in a small tent, and I had no answers. I had even fewer answers when his pet duck waddled out from the tent, lit up a charcoal grill, and began grilling frogs. The wizard gave us a wave, his wispy beard blowing in the wind as he stood there in just a pair of white boxers polka-dotted with red hearts and a matching wizard hat. We waved back before making our way back inside.
Pretty much the only time Daisy showed any bit of emotion during our tour was when Sheryl decided to join us. Well, really, she kind of showed some when the poltergeist showed up in housewares…I’ll get to it later. Don’t nag me! But, by the end of the tour, Sheryl was absolutely bawling her eyes out and shouting, “Where has the time gone?” Daisy attempted to console her and give her a reassuring pat on the back.
“There, there,” said Daisy awkwardly. The whole interaction came off as more robotic than anything, so I was shocked when it actually calmed Sheryl down. But…then again, Sheryl is dating a cyborg.
“So, you’ve obviously met Sheryl and Gary. You’ve met me, Lacie, and the coffee shop folks. Have you met Gabe?”
She shook her head. “Who’s Gabe?”
Unbeknownst to her, a suddenly summoned Gabe appeared behind her. “Boo,” he said, causing her to drop her clipboard. She glared at him as it clattered to the floor. “Oops.”
I laughed at them and received my own glare from Daisy. I rubbed the back of my head nervously. “Sorry, he’s become a bit of a trickster since his death.”
Just as quickly as he had shown up, Gabe disappeared again, and that seemed to conclude the tour. Daisy went off to “monitor and assist everyone’s duties,” as she put it, and I went back to my previous task.
Now, where was I? Oh, clown statues. Let me count again. 1,2,3…12. That’s what it was last time, right?

10:36 a.m.
“Here’s yours, Jared,” announced Danielle as she placed my caramel frappuccino on the counter. “Lacie’s is almost ready.”
“Thanks,” I said. I grabbed it and took a sip, enjoying the icy treat. Within 30 seconds, nearly a quarter of it was gone, and I could already hear Lacie nagging me about coming to buy a second coffee later. I may have adopted a coffee addiction thanks to our new cafe.
Unironically, the Witch’s Brew was a magical place. I absolutely loved the atmosphere with its high ceilings, dim lights, and gothic charm. The only colors involved in the decor were Halloween shades: orange, purple, and green. Oh, and black, of course.
Sheryl bounded up to the register giddily as I slurped on my drink. “I’m so glad you guys are finally open! It feels like I’ve been waiting forever!”
Drucilla the cashier gave her a puzzled look. “Honey, we’ve been opened since the store opened.”
Sheryl gave her a puzzled look back. “Every time I tried to come in, the door was always locked.”
Drucilla, Danielle, and Blount, the other barista, began debating whether or not Sheryl had been hexed. As I turned around to look at their door which was currently held open with a door stopper, an idea dawned on me.
“Sheryl,” I said, interjecting into their conversation. “When you came to see if they were open, did you push or pull on the door handle?”
She tilted her head to the side and placed a finger on her lips as if lost in deep thought. “Pull,” she finally said.
The sign on the door read “Push.” A chorus of “Ahh”’s filled the room as the explanation came together in everyone’s heads. Sheryl stayed oblivious. Actually, the room’s response made her even more confused.
“Oh, honey,” said Drucilla, her voice full of pity. “What can we get for you?”
“It’s on the house,” said Danielle, her voice also dripping with pity.
Blount handed me Lacie’s drink as Sheryl ordered some complicated coffee recipe with nearly 20 ingredients that she had found somewhere online. The witches all looked disgusted, but it sounded kinda good to me. As I was about to make my way out the door, Lacie text me that she had enough time to meet me at the cafe to enjoy our coffee together. I talked to the witches and Sheryl while I waited on her.
“Here you go, darling,” said Danielle as she handed Sheryl her coffee. As she was turning around to pass it over, I saw her pointer finger swirling above the beverage as it softly spun around its cup. She knew I had seen what she had done, so she gave me a wink as Sheryl took a sip. She mumbled something about giving Sheryl “a little pep in her step.”
Apparently, the first sip was so good that Sheryl felt the need to take a few gulps. Had I known what she was going to do, I would have highly advised her not to order a drink from the list of hot coffees, but there’s a high probability she wouldn’t have listened to me anyways. I could tell the witches felt the same by the concerned look they gave her. After demolishing nearly half the coffee, Sheryl’s body spasmed and jerked, making her stand up straight as a board as she yelled, “The square root of pi is 1.77245—”
Danielle’s face completely blanked as if her brain was rebooting before cringing at what she had done. “May have added a little too much pep,” she said as Sheryl continued rattling off numbers.
–
11:02 a.m.
“Hey, Jared, can you tell Gabe to come to the office?” asked Daisy. “I’ve called him 3 times over the radio, and he hasn’t come.”
I had failed to mention to her that Gabe didn’t use a radio because they fall through his body if he loses focus. It just so happened that he was walking by me as Daisy finished asking her a favor. He was pulling a rather large pallet of merchandise behind him, and I told Daisy I would let him know before shouting his name.
His head snapped toward the direction of my voice, causing him to lose focus on his current task. However, the pallet had not gotten the memo that he was stopping, and panic filled me at the possibility of him getting hurt. “Oh, crap, wait!” I yelled, motioning for him to get away. I winced as the pallet drew closer and closer, and he still wasn’t moving. He was also giving me a rather strange look, but I just kept yelling for him to move.
And then the pallet simply went through him, and my body slacked. “Oh,” I said as he approached me, laughing at my freak-out.
“Did you forget I’m dead?” he asked with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes before relaying Daisy’s message, and he wandered off to see what she needed. As I busied myself with checking if my register’s drawer had enough change, I wondered how he decided whether to simply teleport or to walk normally to places. Personally, I would teleport everywhere if given the opportunity.
“Fefe!”
Sheryl’s screech made me launch a roll of quarters in my hand across the registers, accidentally landing some hits on a big burly sasquatch. I gulped as the monster lumbered over to me. His hot, stinking breath heated up my cheeks as anger bubbled in his eyes. As he released a roar so strong it blew the hair out of my face, I snatched up a stapler beside me and aimed at his large furry face, ready yet fully expecting to die. He raised a meaty fist, but before his first attack could be landed, our battle was sidetracked as Sheryl screamed once more. This time, however, it was followed by a cat’s hiss.
A black blur clambered onto my conveyor belt as an out-of-breath Sheryl nearly collided with it. She leaped for the small black void, and it hissed again. A thick chrome collar looped its small neck with a flashing purple light dangling from it.
“Enough, mother!” ordered the kitten. With enough feistiness to ignite a fire, the fluffy creature turned to the behemoth before me and hissed. Without hesitation, the sasquatch raced out of the front doors before the kitten’s fur could even rise to its full extent. He even forgot his groceries, but I had no plans of running them out to him.
The cat rolled her eyes before settling into a relaxed loaf mode in front of me. “Yes?” I asked her.
“We’re out of my brand of cat food.”
“The truck is going to be here a little after lunch,” I responded.
If she had eyebrows, I swear they would have creased at my response. “How does that help me during lunch?”
“Well, considering it will be your—” I paused dramatically to look at my non-existent wristwatch, “---third meal of the day already, I think you will be fine.”
The kitten’s eyes became slits as they stayed glued to me. Every hair on its body raised as it slowly stood up. Her claws came out, gouging deep holes into the counter below her. My eyes drifted over to Sheryl to figure out what was going on, but I got no reassurance. She looked ready to piss herself, honestly, especially when the cat burst into flames. I jumped back and immediately reached for my eyebrows, fearful they had been singed off. Turns out she had more than enough feistiness.
With a shriek of rage, she jumped up onto her back legs and launched a ball of fire toward aisle 7. A fully enflamed Chip escaped the aisle and zoomed over to our cooler housing the bags of ice for sale. He didn’t even bother opening its door and just jumped straight through, creating a gaping hole in the thick metal. Luckily, the ice’s cool embrace succeeded in putting out the fire, and wisps of steamy relief floated upwards. Chip gave Sheryl and me a thumbs-up from his safe space, and a piece of his melted rubbery cyborg skin fell off.
The cat released something between a hiss and a growl before hopping off of my conveyor belt. Every step she took burned the floor, leaving a trail of blackened paw prints in her wake. Although tiny, her heat made her seem bigger, and I could already feel a trail of sweat trickling down my back. The sprinkler system turned on, but it did practically nothing to her blaze.
Sheryl rushed over to Chip in the cooler to make sure he was okay while I ran to the service desk. “Attention all shoppers, if you can do so safely, calmly make your way to the exit and avoid the flaming cat. I repeat, all customers please calmly make your way to the exit and avoid the flaming cat.”
Fefe walked in the direction of aisle 4 where a man decked out in some strange outfit was exiting, and he began shouting belligerent words at her. She began screaming back at him, but I couldn’t hear them over the customer's screams as they fled to the exit, practically trampling each other. “Literally nothing about that was calm, but okay,” I said into the microphone.
I began walking in the direction of the cat and the man slowly just to get a better look. His body was mostly covered in silver from what I could see. After a few steps, Gabe materialized beside me to join me. We walked in silence a couple more steps until he asked, “Is that Sheryl’s baking pan on his chest?”
We both stopped, and I squinted in confusion. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it is.”
We entered a moment of silence before finally locking eyes. “Gary,” we both said before continuing and also speeding up our walk toward them.
When we got close enough to them to hear their conversation, Gary was gesturing wildly with his hands. I could now see all of the pots, pans, and utensils he had melded together to create an armor. This was one of his unemployment projects from back when he went through his Transformers craze. While it was nowhere near the level of car parts, it was still pretty impressive.
“Fefe no burn down store, no burn loved ones, no burn customers!” yelled Gary.
Fefe let out a furious roar that sent a spurt of flames at Gary. Gabe and I let out screams of grief and terror at seeing our friend get possibly roasted alive. It felt like both one second and also an eternity that the flames were upon him. Either way, I fully expected him to be dead. Yet, when Fefe closed her mouth, Gary still stood there, looking much angrier than before. Our screams quickly died in our throats, getting cut off so suddenly that I choked and began coughing.
Gary let out a roar of his own before grabbing a chunk of metal off of his back that was once a cookie sheet. He bended the materials as if they were clay, shaping it into a makeshift mouthpiece. As soon as she pieced together what he was doing, they began a game of cat and mouse through the aisles where Fefe ironically wasn’t the cat. Fefe would randomly throw fireballs to divert Gary, but he would take them like a champ and keep rolling. Gabe and I watched, fascinated with the fight. At one point, Gabe vanished and reappeared a moment later with two bags of freshly popped popcorn for us.
It was easy to see how frustrated Gary was becoming, and we felt bad that we couldn’t help. We still didn’t even understand how Gary was so unphased but her fire, though. And so the chase continued, that is until Sheryl appeared with a now bandaged Chip hobbling beside her. (Ignore the fact that he’s a cyborg and doesn’t need bandages because that’s clearly what Sheryl did.) She let out a screeching “Fefe” at the top of her lungs, and the kitten stopped in her tracks. Gary was about to quickly grab her by the scruff of her neck while she was distracted. She yelped before beginning to whine. “But, Uncle Gary, I just wanted lunch!” She struggled against him covering her mouth, eventually melting the piece of metal until it was useless anyway.
Gary groaned like a father using his last bit of patience. “Fefe going to timeout!”
Her flames blazed once more just to the left of me, barely missing by inches, which was entirely too close in my opinion. I made a mental note to check to see if I still had eyebrows later. She actually did hit Gabe, causing him to scream as he too forgot his ghostly qualities. He blushed bright red with embarrassment afterwards. Fefe’s roars continued Godzilla-style, taking down a shelf of bread, two self checkout stations, and a snowman customer that had been lingering in the store. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!” the melted man’s mouth-coals blubbered before floating separately away through the sprinkler’s puddles. Gary carried her through the store as her tantrum continued, bringing her to the safety of the parking lot.
By the way, did I mention that this is Charlie’s new pet? This is actually the third incident we’ve had like this this week. You’d think we’d have a process or plan for when she does this, but that’s still a work in progress. Rage therapy is definitely on the list, though.
“I’ll let the wizard know we need a reset spell done,” said Gabe before vanishing.
Sheryl was able to completely calm Fefe by running to a store down the road to buy her specialty cat food, so all ended up being well. I made another mental note after this encounter to keep an extra stock of that brand to avoid Fefe’s hangry rath in the future. Oh, and Danielle later explained to me that she put a protection spell on Gary’s makeshift armor, but that she had never told him that she did. That’s how Gary was unaffected by Fefe’s fiery flames. However, if you asked Gary, he would tell you with full seriousness the Transformer gods gave his armor magical abilities.
Did you know there’s a secret underground religion for Transformers? Learn something new every day.

Charlie’s Group Chat - 12:03 p.m.
Lacie: do we sell dentures? Jared: No. Why? Lacie: zombie customer with no teeth J: Why would you even let that sale happen? Sheryl: The customer is always right! Lacie liked Sheryl’s Message S: Tomorrow is Chip’s Bday! L: cyborgs can have birthdays? Chip: It is my manufacture date. Don’t you guys have one? J: Yeah, I got Lacie from the lab last April. L: my birthday is in October. J: That’s what you’re programmed to think. Acid Dude: What am I programmed to think? J: At this point, I’m pretty sure you’re programmed to have no thoughts. S: That’s so cool! Can I do that? C: I will research how to remove your motherboard. AD: I’ll let you borrow mine! Jared added Daisy to the chat. Daisy: Good afternoon. Sheryl: Hasta leugo! 🙂

12:27 p.m.
Do you know what really sucks? When you really, really just want the day to go right, but life says screw you and throws one curve ball after another. My limit had not only been reached but massacred. I felt like I had received a curveball to the face my head was pounding so hard. I have to rant for a moment, so, if you don’t want to read me whining, skip to after the bullet points.
Here’s what crap I’ve had to deal with so far today, not including the new ownership being thrown at us:
Chip got into an argument with one of the card readers, and it chose to go offline until he apologized. He refused, and it’s still offline. Gary dragged a centaur carcass through the store and traumatized several customers. Sheryl nearly drove her new Lamborghini through the front windows. She tried to gaslight me into believing there was a road through the front window and Charlie’s was just in the way. Danielle decided to prank everyone by spelling the whole store to only speak pig latin. Thankfully it wasn’t long before she reversed the spell because she was the only one who found it funny. We have yet to convince Acid Dude that it was just a spell and not some miracle language he created and then completely forgot 20 minutes later.
So, even as I sat at the break room table and tried to enjoy my free pizza, I still felt like a curveball might smash through the break room door and knock me out for one final blow. And it was only just lunchtime.
Oh, let me explain the free pizza thing. Since it was our first day with Daisy, Ursula told her we could close the store for an hour to all have lunch together. She ordered us a couple of pizzas and told us to pick out some chips and drink. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it, at least.
“Why are you so pale?” Acid Dude asked Daisy.
“I’m dead,” she explained. “Well, undead, really.”
“Cotards?” asked Acid Dude.
“No, I’m a vampire.”. She opened her mouth a bit to flash her fangs.
Acid Dude scrunched up his face in disgust. “Homie, you need to go to the dentist.”
So far I’ve only seen Daisy show two emotions while here: “Oh, you poor thing,” and “Are you really that stupid?” That second one kind of mimicked curiosity, but it most definitely wasn’t. I’ll let you guess which one she was giving Acid Dude right now.
When the lunch party had reached my third slice of pizza o’clock, Lacie and Gabe started bickering. I’m not even sure what started it because I had been so zoned out, but it felt like this weird dark cloud came over them. It felt like it came out of nowhere. One minute I was staring at a lopsided ceiling tile and trying to determine if I saw a clown staring at me through its gap, and the next they were shouting.
“How did someone like you even get a job here?” yelled Gabe. “Did you flirt your way into the position?” Well, that escalated incredibly quickly folks. Here comes Daisy’s fake curiosity look. Honestly, I couldn’t blame her.
“Will you quit insinuating I got this job because of my looks?” To be fair, Lacie was gorgeous, but she was also very good at her job.
“Well, it definitely wasn’t because of skill.”
“I had enough skill to befriend your murderer,” she snapped.
“Just because you’re a freak that likes freaky things doesn’t mean you belong here any more than I do! I mean, I belong here so much that my spirit came here after death!”
“Just because your spirit is trapped here doesn’t mean you belong. From what I heard, you were being marketed as Gary’s daily special while I was being trained!”
I was on the verge of telling them to cut it out before I lost my mind, but—
“Oh, yeah? Well, at least I didn’t have to use a love spell to make everyone, including a wendigo, like me at this job! But then you fucked up and made Jared fall in love with you, didn’t you?”
Wait, what?
Lacie didn’t respond. Instead, her eyes began to well up with tears as they darted back and forth between Gabe and me. As soon as the words left his mouth, I could see the dark cloud affecting him lift and recognition enter his eyes. That still didn’t take away the hurt of what he had said.
“Wh-what?” I said out loud to her.
Her face flushed with worry and shame. “I–I can explain.”
“No,” I said, standing up from my chair so fast that it fell backward. I almost fell with it, but I regained my balance and once more said, “No.”
My brain felt like it was exploding. Had my love for her—our love for each other all been a manipulation tactic for a freaking grocery store job?
Everyone had quieted at this point, except for Sheryl who had been oblivious to the argument and who kept singing “I Will Always Love You” to Chip Jr. Chip quickly covered her mouth. Daisy once again had a look of pity on her face, but I ignored it while I made my departure. I made sure to grab a box of pizza on my way out, though, and I ignored Lacie’s final attempt to stop me.
Today could most definitely go fuck itself.

2:42 p.m.
We did inventory last week, and I screwed up by accidentally ordering twice the number of crackers we needed. I had them marked down to half price, which Mr. Ducksworth had noticed. A paddling of ducks marching into the store was something I had never expected to see, but I’m glad I got to experience it. I have to admit they were rather adorable in their determination to wipe out our supply of crackers, and Mr. Ducksworth was even more adorable as he guided their mission. (Don’t tell him I said that. I don’t want to be slapped again.)
The cause and effect of that is I am now restocking the crackers. Normally the overnight stocking crew does this, but the duck army bought literally every box. Even now, I could see them eyeing me as I stocked the shelves, munching on their crackers greedily. I had to block the aisle off with shopping carts, so they knew waddling onto this aisle was off-limits.
As I placed one of the slender boxes of crackers on the shelf, every single box of crackers I had placed behind it toppled like dominoes. I groaned before placing their shipping box on the shelf beside them to free my hands. As I straightened the crackers, the cardboard box flew off the shelf as if thrown. I rolled my eyes, already over today and lacking the patience to deal with the shelve’s antics. “I was going to throw the box away,” I told them. “I just had to fix these boxes first.”
A box of graham crackers slid to the front of the shelf, and I watched as the box’s logo morphed into the words, “It wasn’t us.”
A grin spread across my face as the feat left me amazed. “Why have you never told me you could do that?” I asked them. “That’s pretty cool.”
The bear on the box shrugged before its cheeks blushed, smiling smugly and waving its paw as if to say, “Oh shucks, that old trick?”
I jumped as all of the boxes on the shelf behind me were flung out so hard that some of them hit my back. The shelves in front of me responded by morphing all of their item's logos from the beginning of the aisle to the end into one long string of “Heeeeeeey.” Then it threw some items back, which I ducked to avoid. To my shock, they did not hit the shelves on the other side. Instead, it hit some type of force field in front of the shelves and clattered to the ground. I watched one single box float into the air before being thrown at me too. It whacked me in the face, causing me to yell out more in shock than pain.
The logos changed once more to read, “leave Jared aloneeeeeeee” all the way down the aisle.
“I’m not in this,” I announced while raising my hands above my head. I made my way out of the aisles, calling out “Clean up your mess when you’re done,” over my shoulder.
Later on, when I saw Gabe, I asked him if we had a poltergeist in the building.
“Oh, yeah,” he confirmed. “Sheryl spent an hour this morning playing catch with it.”
“Is that all it wants?”
He nodded, and I nodded back in understanding. “And the shelves don’t want to play catch with it,” I said mostly to myself because Gabe had already walked off.
I realized that intervention had to happen when the altercations began to involve customers. I saw a man angrily speed-balling cans into the shelves surrounding him, and I immediately stepped in to help. After apologizing to him and offering a 50% discount that might make Ursula hate me, I turned to the shelves.
“Look, guys, this has got to stop. Putting me through it is one thing because I know I’m this store’s guinea pig, but dragging customers into it is where I draw the line. It’s extremely bad for business.”
I crossed my arms and waited for a response, but none came. After a couple of minutes of waiting for one, I sighed and began tapping my foot as my aggravation and impatience grew. Maybe five seconds later is when I saw the cans to my right begin to tumble off their shelves. Soon, hands appeared, their formation resembling someone swimming forward while underwater.
“What the…” I began as I saw the owner of the hands shimmying through the space it had cleared out. Stringy tendrils of hair trickled out over the shelf edge, falling downwards until they almost touched the floor. The crown of a head peeked out over the edge, making me step back a bit. Recognition began to creep into my bones, but I couldn’t tell why until I heard a familiar popping of the being’s neck. I debated running away, but the head snapped upwards before I could respond. A foul and rotten face locked eyes with me, giving me a horrific grin.
“Deborah!” I yelled while falling back on my butt. Before I had even landed on the floor, however, she was gone. I looked all around me rapidly, dread overwhelming to the point that I felt bile rising up in my throat. Deborah’s disembodied laughter began to fill my ears, and I felt like I was about to pass out.
Until a note floated downwards and landed in my lap. I picked it up and read the scrawling handwriting. It almost resembled a child’s writing, even written with crayon, and it was something I had most definitely never seen before. “Gotcha!” it read.
I groaned. “That wasn’t funny!”
Another note floated downwards and landed in my lap again. “Yes, it was.”
I heard a clinking above me and looked up to find a stack of cans with their logos just changed. “It kind of was,” they read.
I rolled my eyes. “At least you guys are getting along, I guess.”

7:13 p.m.
Knock…knock…knock
I sighed in annoyance. “Go away.”
“Can I come inside?” spoke up the child’s voice on the other side of the locked glass doors. His eerily monotone voice had become a rather aggravating occurrence to me.
“No. Go away,” I said more forcefully.
“Ooooh! Barty is here!” Sheryl crooned from behind me. “Hi, Barty Boy!”
“My name is Bartholemew,” said the boy, sounding slightly annoyed before switching back to his bland cadence. “Can you let me inside, Sheryl?”
“No, I’m sorry, Barty,” responded Sheryl, her voice dripping with disappointment. “Jared says I’ll die if I do.”
“I’m not going to hurt you,” said the strange child. “It’s cold out here, and I would like to call my mother.”
“He doesn’t have a mother because he’s not actually a child,” I explained. “We’ve been over this, Sheryl.”
“Yeah, but he’s just so darn cute!” she responded. “And clearly he needs new clothes! I mean, those were popular in like…colonial days!”
I finally looked up from my register to take a closer look at Barty. He was also looking down at his outfit as if he hadn’t realized his fashion sense was centuries behind. When he looked back up, his jet-black eyes locked onto mine. The sickly sweet smell of death was already getting unbearable, and that was with him on the other side of the door still. His eyes resembled black pits of despair. They beckoned you closer and closer, and if you got too close, they would swallow you up. They began unearthing my deepest fears: Lacie never loving me, the store firing me, dying alone. Just before the feelings consumed me entirely, before I was convinced that the only answer to my salvation was to let him inside, I managed to look away. “Go away, Barty,” I ordered once more.
His porcelain face glared at me. “My name is Bartholemew, and I need to come inside.”
Sheryl looked toward me in hopefulness. When I didn’t respond, she began to shimmy closer to the door as if I wouldn’t notice.
“Sheryl, he’s dangerous——“
“——Barty wouldn’t hurt a fly!”
I watched as she ignored me and stepped just before the door. Barty’s coal-like eyes stared up at hers, and she quickly let out a cry like she was in pain. She leaped backward, falling onto her butt, yet only a second later she was up on her feet and running as far away from the front doors as she could.
I turned towards the rapid footsteps coming from the direction of the office to see a frazzled Lacie throwing her hair up into a quick messy bun as if ready to fight any intruder we had. “What’s going on?”
I avoided eye contact with her while responding. “Barty is here, and Sheryl got too close.”
It was hard not to look at her after being in love with her for so long. I noticed her looking for the chain around my neck, double-checking that I was still wearing the protection pendant she made me. “Did it work?”
Our eyes connected, and I looked away while shrugging. “I didn’t want to take the chance of not wearing it knowing what this store throws at you.” It did not prevent heartbreak, I’ll tell you that much.
“Can I use your telegraph?” spoke up Barty.
“Wrong century, demon,” snapped Lacie. She crossed her arms and locked eyes with him. “And I told you not to come back.”
Barty and Lacie bickered back and forth for a few more minutes before the being suddenly disappeared, angry that his wish had once again not been fulfilled. Lacie looked away for a split second to catch something the poltergeist threw at her, and then he was gone. Barty is part of the reason why Sheryl will never get her own keys to the store. We’ve even let Gary have his own set, but we just can’t trust Sheryl not to open it to any number of creatures we have to deal with on a daily basis. Barty seemed unaffected by Lacie’s protection and diversion spells, and we all know how successful her spells are based off of the last entry.

I really need to shut up talking about it, but its all I can focus on. I think I just need some time to think, so I’ll talk to you guys later.

9:54 p.m.
Ayo, yo, whaddup, guys? It’s Gabe here. Jared said I could type up the conclusion. You guys have no idea how hard it is to type when you don’t have a physical form. Finding the right amount of pressure to press the keys and not completely demolish this keyboard is tedious. The pain is all worth it for you guys, though. You’re always there for us, so I want to be there for you.
Just look behind you.
I’m just kidding. If I really wanted to visit you, you’d have no idea about it.
There’s been a strange vibe around the store today, and I’m not sure why. Everyone just seems…off. Even me. It took me 20 minutes to check a customer’s single item out earlier because I couldn’t remember how to open a plastic shopping bag. We’ve all been stressed, and there’s just this feeling of darkness over us.
I hope things improve, and I hope you guys keep coming along for the ride!
Peace out!

It can be done! The prologue at least. As mentioned before, the tricky part about Genealogy women only is that Ethlyn has to solo the prologue and the first castle of chapter 1. It’s a big map and a lot of units, but with clear obstacles to conquer.
First: surviving until turn 3. Ethlyn doesn’t show up until then but you still need to make sure the castle doesn’t get taken, and we want to do that without the boys damaging anyone. Fortunately the spacing of the enemies works out so that everyone can enter the castle on turn 1, then drop their weapons off and position themselves outside the castle (blocking the charge space…we can’t just put someone on guard because we’ll need people to be able to enter the castle). They’ll take damage but deal none.
Second: saving Lex and Azelle. This was an unexpected dilemma. They can’t just stay where they are because enemies will head towards them. They also can’t make it to the castle without getting into enemy range and there’s not a place they can just hide. After a couple attempts I realized the answer was naked bodyguards. We’ve already got 4 uneqipped guys from before Ethlyn gets here, and we can send Finn and Quan inside to remove theirs to help. As long as there’s someone near Lex and Azelle that can’t counter they shouldn’t be targeted. With careful placement and a little luck, we can get all the boys safely inside the castle.
Third: Surviving the initial onslaught of foes. This was surprisingly the easy part. The axe users can’t hit Ethlyn if she’s guarding the castle (but since she’s guarding the castle they’ll still attack her) and the few bow users only have about a 10% chance to hit. We have to swap her out with a naked guardsman once her weapon runs out, but it’s only for a turn and they’re still not getting experience. She can do hit and runs on the hand axes and bow users thanks to canto, so it might take a while but she’ll take them all down eventually.
Fourth: the first castle. The rabble around it is simple if a bit time consuming without pursuit. The boss provides us with a challenge though: we need to be able to outdamage his healing. And at the level I was…I couldn’t (I was doing exactly the amount of damage he was healing). So, we park Sigurd and Quan on each side of her and pray for some lucky crits. Eventually we wear him down and seize our first castle!
Fifth: getting to the second castle. Here’s where an issue arises: I’m out of money (even including Quan’s generous donation), down to about 35 Slim Sword uses, and the lowest level enemies aren’t giving experience any more for combats they survive (Ethlyn was about level 14 here). Luckily, we have a knight in shining fireball: Arvis. See, if Arvis isn’t in range to talk to Sigurd and there are enemies in his range he will attack (and obliterate) them. And enemies will also attack him. We can use him to conserve sword uses for the boss. We’ll miss out on some exp, but less than what we need to promote. Once the rabble is gone, Arvis will gift Sigurd with a silver sword we can give to someone else.
Sixth: beating Gerard. This was where I hit a big roadblock. At Ethlyn’s current strength, there was no way she’d be able to outpace his healing. She didn’t have the slim sword uses left to just get experience from fighting the boss and her HP was low enough that he’d one shot her if he hit (no more money to heal at a church). If she could just reach level 20 to promote she could use that +6 strength to take him out. Convinced that I’d reached a dead end, I stopped for the night.
When I woke up it hit me: attacking’s not the only thing she can do to earn experience. She has 50 heals she can use! So we parked a naked Quan in range of the boss and like a good husband he took damage and Ethlyn healed him up for 15 exp a pop. It takes a while (especially with the bosses low hit rate), but eventually Ethlyn hits level 20 and can go alllllll the way back home to promote. When she gets back we once again park her brother and husband beside her and she quickly gets a couple crits to kill Gerard so we can finish the prologue.
Final turn count: 310
I definitely underestimated how difficult no trading would impact a solo. There’s just not really a good way to get her another a sword (especially since her slim sword is better than iron), so what she has is what she gets. Castles costing gold to heal you hurts her money supply and even with Quan’s money she can’t repair her weapon more than a couple times.
I’m not sure how far I’ll go in chapter 1. Having to seize the castle and keep Ayra alive is very daunting, especially going into chapter 1 with so few resources. Still, getting through the prologue is huge and I’m proud of myself!