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2023.03.26 00:54 Killerlad_21 25M - Irish tattooed emo nerd looking to chat and make new friends!
Hello y’all, my name is Jack! You can see what I look like on my page. So a lil bit about me ☺️
- I adore my films so much so I studied it at university and now work within that industry. Some films I love are pans labyrinth, the wind rises, perfect blue, La La land and oldboy. I have a small collection of Blu-rays which is around 160 films which you can see on here. I’d love to hear about your favs and why
- My music taste is very much emo, alternative, rock and indie. Some bands/artists I listen to is my chemical romance, twenty one pilots, linkin park, enter shikari, Joji, eden and sleep token. I love gigs, so much so I have 9 lined up this year so far.
- I like my video games as well. I mainly play single player games such as God of war, the last of us, hollow knight, and the Witcher to give some examples. Lately I’ve been playing Control, and Shadow of the Colossus
- I’m a big weeb, love anime and manga. Some of my fav anime’s are mob psycho 100, fullmetal alchemist brotherhood, Cowboy Bebop and devilman crybaby. As for what I’m watching right now, attack on Titan, bluelock and trigun Stampede
- As for manga Junji Ito’s work, I have a small collection of his work. Also, I enjoyed Haikyu!!, Demon slayer, Goodbye Eri, Look Back, Tokyo Ghoul. I’m currently keeping up with Jujutsu Kaisen, chainsaw man, Choujin X, and Kaiju No.8
- I’ve gotten into hiking and walking big time this year. I love connecting with nature and how much peace it brings to me
- Last thing about me is I have 14 tattoos ranging from films, anime, games and music. To stuff about mental health and nature
That’s basically me, please make some effort in the message or I’ll not reply. Also, I tend not to reply to people who are blank profiles sorry. If you got this way I hope to hear from you and that you have a good day ☺️
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2023.03.26 00:54 Technical-Ad55 I was talking to this girl and found out she's younger than I thought.. (m21) (f17)
To start off I met this girl (f17) on a popular social media app and we had been talking for a few day about a week, we where getting along and she talked about maybe meeting up for lunch or something (we both drive and she wasn't at school this day soo I thought she was atleast a high school graduate) , anyway I end up asking her age , mind you I've turned 21 a few days ago . The age of consent in my state is 16, now I don't want anything in that way and we didn't talk about anything like that, should I keep talking to her and cut ties? Am I a creep for talking to her ? I just don't want to get into any trouble at this point in my life. Any advice/input would help. I want to keep talking to her and she wants to keep talking to me but I don't know what to do.
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2023.03.26 00:53 AccomplishedTap8944 [Letter] -HELP-THE GUY EXPLORED EVERY OTHER WAY SERIOUSLY THINKS ABOUT SUICIDE
Hello Dear Dr Peterson,
For at least nine years, I have been dealing with intense emotional distress showing itself as physical pains, which on certain occasions resulted in hospitalization. Throughout these nine years, for at least seventy per cent of my life, such pain has affected my life in different intensities where the distress pains manifest themselves in various parts of my body as physical pains. Despite that, I tried my best to deal with these issues. I have seen doctors and psychotherapists. I tried medications.On four occasions in nine years, I had four episodes that made me think seriously about suicide due to my intense distress. In the first episode, I took dozens of pills but threw up because I consumed alcohol at the same time(7-8 years ago). On my second attempt, months later, I tried the overdose again and ended up in the Intense Care Unit. In the third episode(4-5 years ago), I ended up in the emergency clinic before I tried anything. The fourth time happened a few months ago. I seriously started considering assisted suicide as you witnessed it. After the fourth time, I became aware that the physical, until the end of high school, and emotional abuse, which continued until today, inflicted by my parents, had been a crucial factor in experiencing repetitively traumatic events. Thus, I cut all contact with them because they gaslight my memories and are blind enough to see their role in damaging my mental health despite my several attempts to explain this to them. However, it also intensified my fear of the future because I no longer want to take their money. I can survive until the end of law school and a few months later when I return to Canada after my studies in the UK because I made some savings. Moreover, I have been diagnosed with ADHD since I was 12. I used such prescriptions until I was 18-19 but when I felt like they intervened with my mental health stopped taking them for a while after my third episode. Still, three-four months ago, now 27 years old, I resumed taking them because I wanted to focus on my studies, and behavioural strategies for my ADHD did not work much. Now I have been going through a fifth episode. I genuinely think that life has no meaning anymore. In your videos, dear Dr Peterson, you said you have so much to offer the world. It had been indeed an important motivation for me to go through the past few months. After a while, I realized what about me? Whenever I want to achieve something, my body gets tense, and I feel so distressed that my stomach gets this acute pain repeatedly. I have also seen a gastroenterologist to see if it is physiological. It was not the case because, following an endoscopy, dietary changes and getting meds, I became convinced that distress-related acidity is the core factor hurting my stomach. Yet when I avoid things and find myself nailed to bed due to crippling anxiety, I feel intense shame. Now, I have no power to get up again. I do not want to set smaller goals because sometimes motivating myself to the gym takes 2 hours of anxious contemplation. I tried antidepressants once, but it did not work out well. I do not feel motivated and do not have the drive to try all other antidepressants and possibly experience their side effects again and again just to feel more stomach distress. Still, I see no point anymore because I am well aware that getting off again will mean I will have to face this torture-like pain, and I do not have that power anymore. What is the point? You have always struck me as an extremely logical man Dr Peterson. Please put yourself in my place. What would you do if you went through the last 8-9 years of your pain at least 70 per cent of the time? As a fellow Canadian, would you apply for assisted suicide and wait for two years before you get the approval, or would you keep going? What is the point of keeping going? The pain was there most of the time; it had been there no matter how much I tried to be ambitious or positive, yet the distress was there. I am a McGill graduate studying law in the UK and speaking three languages. But still, deep down, this distress is killing everything within me. It kills my confidence. It sucks away my happiness and cannot get relaxed, which also repels women. I was a gym goer at least twice a week and was eating healthy, but it also started to decline in the last few days. I am weeks behind in my studies. I am going down and do not know how to catch up. For the last five months, I have been taking psychotherapy alongside ADHD meds. I do not want to perform less than my potential. Even worse, if I keep going that way, I will end up homeless. I do not want to die losing my dignity. I just want to find peace; death seems to provide it because life means crippling pain. You get into a social setting and are tense, and people smell it. You unintentionally repel people because down you feel that pain. My cousin is the only person I speak from in the family because I only feel authentic and secure towards him. Besides, I have my best friend, whom I call a brother. No matter how much he tries to support me, it is hard to get so much but give so little to him. As I get older, it will worsen because distress may permanently damage my body, and relaxation is impossible. The lack of sincerity in this world frightens me. I have always felt like people are repelled by people who always look negative. Jim Morrison once said, " people are strange when you are a stranger; faces look ugly when you are alone; women seem wicked when you are unwanted..." Good old Jimmy's song aside, I do not feel resentful of people. They have so much on their table, and dealing with depressed fellas like me is torture. Yet, such relationship dynamics in human beings also frighten me because the fact that I have to be strong, but I cannot, despite my best efforts, kills me. Seeing myself nailed to the bed kills my hope for the future. What is the point of living, Dr Peterson, when there is so much pain?
Sincerely,
Berk
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2023.03.26 00:53 royaxxi Would you make Dua?
Before anything, I know that Allah decides what makes sense and what doesn't and what is good for us and what is not. However i'm making this post and asking this question to get a few different opinions on my situation since I haven't shared this with anyone before.
It all starts about 9 years ago, when I moved to a new school. I was 14 at that time and I know, you cant really take anything at that age seriously. However there was this particular classmate of mine who I immediately felt connected to. As if the two of us have been together before and knew each other before already. And don't get me wrong, it wasn't even in the romantic way at that time. We became good friends over the school year but we were also very young. During the 2 years I was at school with this guy everyone used to tell me how much him and I suit each other. I found out through others that he had a bit of a crush on me and to be honest it wasn't much different for me.
After some time I changed my school. Somehow, through the will of Allah swt, my sister and his brother met. They got engaged. During that time, him and I reconnected as we didnt talk much since I had left the school. We talked about our siblings a lot. They eventually got married. Around that time, he confessed his feelings to me. I was about 16 at that time and he was 17. It was a big thing for me. I told him I wouldnt want to engage in anything that is haram and I think its best if we stop talking. I did tell him however I would wait for him and want him to get on his deen more until the time is right.
Throughout the marriage of my sister my family went through a hard time. Her husband's family,meaning the family of the guy this whole thing is about since its his brother, made my sisters life hell. They didnt want her. That being said, she went through a lot of hardships. At that time he tried to reconnect with me a few times. I was so disgusted by the actions of his family, and I was thinking they would treat me the same way too if we were to get together. Apart from that, I highly doubted my family would allow it to ever happen after how they have been acting. I completely cut him off then.
Over the years he had tried to approach the thing a lot of times. He tried to mention it with his brother and even my sister. However, my sister had kind of told him it would never happen and he should forget it. At that time it was heavy in my heart to accept that, but I was a bit younger and thought to myself theres plenty of fish in the sea.
Around 3 years ago, I turned 20 and marriage became a topic. Guys approached me and none of them ever felt right to me. I started thinking about him again. But I knew my family wouldnt allow it and I didn't know where to even begin reconnecting since it was a complete no from my sister too. So I kept quiet. A year later I heard he met someone. I was busy with college so It didnt really hit me that hard. Then they got engaged last year and I thought to myself well, it was never meant to be I guess.
Recently I got the news that they broke up and are getting a divorce soon.
The moment I heard that my heart dropped. I cant help it but think that this was my person all along. My sister told me that over the years, before he had met that girl, he brought me up now and then but at some point he gave up. Even now that the divorce came up, apparently his father and brother had mentioned me and how they think its right for him to give it a shot with me. I dont know what he says about this though.
That being I said I did hear that he tried his best to keep his fiancé, but she just said she didnt think he was the right one.
Thats the situation now. We are 23 now. I want to get someone elses opinion on this. Lately I have been making a lot of dua to get married to this person since I cant get him out of my mind. I know that dua requires action but there is not much that I can do. I did tell my sister however that in case this topic comes up again, not to shut it down. She understood that I would consider it.
What do you think? Am I wrong for making dua to get this specific person?
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2023.03.26 00:53 Nova_Voltaris Chances of rerolling
This roll I got a mother who focuses on my academics (Fucking finally smh) and a father and family who loves me dearly. But I moved to America and now the mother is being an absolute bitch to me. Too tired to go into detail.
I’ve also got into my dream HS, which requires stellar grades and 130 iq, but my mother is belittling me and verbally abusing me. Sometimes she throws whatever she has in her hand at me or punches me/kicks me.
To make matters worse I’ve got to transfer away from my dream school into a shittier school because my mother’s lungs can’t stand the pollen and she gets asthma. I hate the idea of the hassle of moving across the country. I’ve moved it eight times already.
Anyway, here are my chances of rerolling a perfect life next time I’m born:
2% chance to get my current iq 50% chance to be female ???% chance to get a loving family 1/50 percent chance to be born in the ideal state in USA 30/10,000 to get into one of the top schools
Nah my chances dont look too good and I don’t have a luck booster I can use, but idk if I can make it past HS with this stupid egg donor of mine. Should I risk it and reroll or should I continue this run??
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2023.03.26 00:53 dyewho 27 [M4F/TF] PA/USA You encounter a long-haired cute Asian guy...Roll for Initiative!
Hi! My name is Long, I’m 27 years old and I reside in Philadelphia, PA!
Here's what I look like. I’ve been looking for a LTR with someone that clicks, while I’ve met some amazing people, I haven’t met the one just yet.
Hobbies – Video games are a big one for me. Fighting games, Dead by Daylight, Wow, you name it I’ve probably played it! I used to play a few video games professionally and have been competing on and off ever since! I'm currently playing a lot of Wow and primarily do raiding and M+ content.
Outside of gaming I also workout, play D&D, and I’m a huge fan crime scene documentaries like JCS or Explore with us on youtube!
I’m also a singer! I’m a huge fan of singing Disney songs, R&B, and Nsync. While my voice may crack, you’ll still be swooned by my performance 😉
Lastly, I’m a yugioh / Pokémon / figure collector. My brother got me a PSA 6 Charizard a few years back that I still have to this day, and ever since I became hooked. I have a growing collection that I’d love to share with you.
Real life stuff- I do have a career that I’ve been blessed to have so you don’t have to worry about me not paying my side of things! It’s remote as well. I have my own apartment that I take care of with 2 beautiful cats named Sanji and Mojo. One has a permanent head tilt, while the other is cow printed and is a little..stupid..no he’s a lot of stupid. Sanji is named after my favorite one piece character and Mojo is named after the power puff girls villain Mojojojo. Pet pics for pet pics?
I have no issue relocating if we click.
Music – I listen to all sorts of music. While I listen to everything, I usually stick to 90s-2000s R&B and rap with hints of modern day stuff, metal and rock of all varieties, and any type of hyfy EDM/house/dance hall music.
Some examples of the stuff I’ve listened to are Usher, Cartel, Wu Tang Clan, T-Pain Mothica, TesseracT, Dream Theater, Slipknot, of Mice & Men, Chris Lake, Doja Cat, Black Eyed Peas (Old school and new), Salvatore Ganacci, A Tribe Called Quest, Denzel Curry, and Kendrick Lamar. As you can see it’s a lot of different genres! It just depends on my mood at that time.
Love languages – Touch is the biggest one for me, but honestly, I have all of them. I love the thought of both of us doing our own thing in our own place, and I walk past you as I go get some more coffee or go to the bathroom and give you a quick hug and kiss on the cheek and flirt with you real fast before I head back. I want you to be comfortable knowing that I’ll be there to reassure you or tell you how beautiful you are, or if you’re busy and you need something to drink I’ll go and get it for you, or if you’re looking at this brand new game that you can’t get I’ll get it for you…Or if you had a rough day and need to unwind that I’ll drop what I’m doing and take you to the movies or the arcade and have a nice chill day together, with just you and I.
Plans for the future – I’ll be frank and state that I am not looking to have kids at this time. I’m a bit selfish with my time and that time is reserved for my close friends and my future partner. I’m also looking for someone between 24-31 and I am strictly monogamous.
Okay phew that was a lot, I appreciate if you read everything and if you’re interested at all please send me a chat or message with one of your passions, something that gets you going and makes you the amazing person you are. Please also send a picture! I do think physical attraction is important, it’s not the end all be all but it does play a factor.
Alright, I hope to hear from you soon, have a great rest of your week and thank you for reading
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2023.03.26 00:53 dyewho 27 [M4F/TF] PA/USA You encounter a long-haired cute Asian guy...Roll for Initiative!
Hi! My name is Long, I’m 27 years old and I reside in Philadelphia, PA!
Here's what I look like. I’ve been looking for a LTR with someone that clicks, while I’ve met some amazing people, I haven’t met the one just yet.
Hobbies – Video games are a big one for me. Fighting games, Dead by Daylight, Wow, you name it I’ve probably played it! I used to play a few video games professionally and have been competing on and off ever since! I'm currently playing a lot of Wow and primarily do raiding and M+ content.
Outside of gaming I also workout, play D&D, and I’m a huge fan crime scene documentaries like JCS or Explore with us on youtube!
I’m also a singer! I’m a huge fan of singing Disney songs, R&B, and Nsync. While my voice may crack, you’ll still be swooned by my performance 😉
Lastly, I’m a yugioh / Pokémon / figure collector. My brother got me a PSA 6 Charizard a few years back that I still have to this day, and ever since I became hooked. I have a growing collection that I’d love to share with you.
Real life stuff- I do have a career that I’ve been blessed to have so you don’t have to worry about me not paying my side of things! It’s remote as well. I have my own apartment that I take care of with 2 beautiful cats named Sanji and Mojo. One has a permanent head tilt, while the other is cow printed and is a little..stupid..no he’s a lot of stupid. Sanji is named after my favorite one piece character and Mojo is named after the power puff girls villain Mojojojo. Pet pics for pet pics?
I have no issue relocating if we click.
Music – I listen to all sorts of music. While I listen to everything, I usually stick to 90s-2000s R&B and rap with hints of modern day stuff, metal and rock of all varieties, and any type of hyfy EDM/house/dance hall music.
Some examples of the stuff I’ve listened to are Usher, Cartel, Wu Tang Clan, T-Pain Mothica, TesseracT, Dream Theater, Slipknot, of Mice & Men, Chris Lake, Doja Cat, Black Eyed Peas (Old school and new), Salvatore Ganacci, A Tribe Called Quest, Denzel Curry, and Kendrick Lamar. As you can see it’s a lot of different genres! It just depends on my mood at that time.
Love languages – Touch is the biggest one for me, but honestly, I have all of them. I love the thought of both of us doing our own thing in our own place, and I walk past you as I go get some more coffee or go to the bathroom and give you a quick hug and kiss on the cheek and flirt with you real fast before I head back. I want you to be comfortable knowing that I’ll be there to reassure you or tell you how beautiful you are, or if you’re busy and you need something to drink I’ll go and get it for you, or if you’re looking at this brand new game that you can’t get I’ll get it for you…Or if you had a rough day and need to unwind that I’ll drop what I’m doing and take you to the movies or the arcade and have a nice chill day together, with just you and I.
Plans for the future – I’ll be frank and state that I am not looking to have kids at this time. I’m a bit selfish with my time and that time is reserved for my close friends and my future partner. I’m also looking for someone between 24-31 and I am strictly monogamous.
Okay phew that was a lot, I appreciate if you read everything and if you’re interested at all please send me a chat or message with one of your passions, something that gets you going and makes you the amazing person you are. Please also send a picture! I do think physical attraction is important, it’s not the end all be all but it does play a factor.
Alright, I hope to hear from you soon, have a great rest of your week and thank you for reading
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2023.03.26 00:53 ThePoeticRevert What should I do with a 16 year old runaway?
Hey I am 20m and live with a man (late 30s) and another man (50s?)
The house is owned by a 60 year old lady who is Muslim, as are all of us. We live in the US. Last night at the mosque we met a runaway who is Iraqi (16m) living with mother and brother, he was raised shia but secretly became sunni. He ran away due to a conflict with his brother and has no ID, phone, job, or money. The conflict was about him continually skipping school due to harassment from his peers due to various things. My friend (m48) and I decided to let him stay just one night on my couch, under the agreement that he would contact a family member to let them know he was alright and spending the night at someones house to cool down, and that he would be returning today. He emailed his sister.
He decided today he is not going back home, and instead moving to a really ghetto area where he knows no one, and perhaps being homeless? We tried to convince him to talk to the imam of the shia mosque and the sunni mosque to try to deal with the conflict. He doesn't want to.
He has mentioned getting in physical fights with his older brother but he won (not sure how old but is the breadwinner, dad is in Iraq). I feel he is trying to mention the shia-sunni conflict to gain sympathy from the masjid people, and saying if his mom found out they'd ship him to Iraq and m-rder him. But the reason he left is completely unrelated. Not saying it doesn't suck that his family is having conflict but he isn't at any reasonable risk of being m-rdered since they don't even know he is Sunni. I feel like we need to get his family involved. Like shia imam, sunni imam, police or even better a therapist, family, and him need to sit down and have a chat.
I don't necessarily trust much of what he says because with the way he emphasizes the Sunni-Shia conflict when that has nothing to do with his current situation, it seems he's manipulating people. I want to believe what he says but he comes off as manipulative, egotistic, and delusional. He seems to think there is some sort of a conspiracy against him at school, his old job, and elsewhere. He reminds me of my little brother who is bullied because he is pretentious. I really don't trust him but everyone does. The Sunni imam said he needs to go home last night. Where I live in the US since he is 16 and willing I'm not breaking any law. What do I do? We need people to get involved. Who do I contact?
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2023.03.26 00:52 Ok_Life6099 Am I in the right or am I being needy?
Ok so I'm a little aggravated at my girlfriend. I want to hangout with my girlfriend. This is a long distance relationship and I ask her and she then ignores me on messenger cuz usually I video call her once a week. I ask later today and she ignores me. I ask again like 7 hours after I sent the first one. Ignored. I have told her can you not ignore me when I ask you a question before. I just want a yes or a no. I have told her this before like 3 weeks ago and that I want to take our relationship very seriously. I also said if your busy just tell me don't ignore me. I usually have to ask her to hangout with me because usually I do the conversation on the phone. She doesn't text. Usually I have to start the conversations on the phone and I'm like the one who asks her to hangout like everytime. Which I confronted her about it before and she said ok but never really asked me to hangout except once when I was in school. When we see each other like in real life she's the very talkative one. Like a week ago in real life. Am I being reasonable or needy?
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2023.03.26 00:52 CuriousGuy0_0 Why should I talk with my biological father and forgive him?
Hi, I was rised christian (both protestant and catholic), but I'm not a huge believer anymore (I have doubts). I'd like to ask for objective reasons to why should I talk with my biological father and forgive him?
I suppose that asking here the expected answer is to forgive him, but I'm curious is there an objective reason for doing it? (not something sentimental like "because he's your father", because to me he is just an acquaintance with whom I share DNA).
A bit of context:
The relationship with my biological father has always been difficult and emotionally distant: he didn't abandon me completely but "partially": our contact was limited to twice per year (before Christmas and Easter) we only spoke for a few minutes (maximum like 1 hour sometimes), and he gave me things (food & some money). I was without his surname for a long time, and I've been always hidden from his family (his siblings, children and his other extra-marital children). He always had time for them (even rised some of them), visited them, had lunch with them, and even went to vacation with them, but for me, nothing.
He is wealthy (has a medium-sized bussiness). When his other children became adults and married he gave them properties, with the deeds and everything, without restrictions, and to some of his favorites he even gave them much more (something like ten thousand square meters, way more than necessary to build a house).
He gave me money for my years of university, but not completely willingly (he is a miser) but more like an extrajudicial agreement between us, when he saw that he had no choice .
I've always felt unloved and unwanted by him, so I decided to cut all contact with him after university.
I have not seen him nor spoken to him in more than 10 years.
He has continued visiting my mother's house all these years, bringing me food of the seasons, and leaving me messages that he wants to see me and talk to me before he dies, that he wants me to call him, and saying that he will keep coming until he dies (he's in his 80s).
I don't know what I should do, I have a lot of resentment for him, and I don't think that he regrets anything (he always made excuses for his behavior).
I cannot simply forget what he has done to me, how badly he has treated me all these years, and the hurtful things he has said to me.
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2023.03.26 00:52 Charley212 Education benefits help
Hey y’all! Prior MC infantry vet here, been working the oil patch for about under a year and a half now. Rated at 80% atm, working towards increase. Currently applying for new jobs out here for a next step in financial goals, and to find a slightly less strenuous work load, specifically due to health reasons (working 200+hrs in a pay period w/narcolepsy, possible MS, MH and a few others). But wanting to apply to schools for fall as a backup plan just in case. Still living with family, located near the Houston area. Unfortunately, I have very little idea how going to/applying to colleges even works. Pretty sure I’d like to pursue a BBA in finance degree, and the best/closest school is A&M. I was hoping to apply to the very close community college nearby (which is very focused on trades/skilled work) so I can learn a few things I’ve always wanted to, (mainly for the sake of learning something interesting, but also as a backup career. Like automotive,woodworking,welding,etc.) to be closer to home and ease back into school. Was thinking about paying out of pocket in order to preserve GI bill and Hazelwood act assuming I can still switch over from Montgomery to Post 9/11. Questions: 1. Should I go to the community college and do the basics and extra courses there? Before transferring to A&M? Or just go straight to A&M? 2. Should I pay out of pocket? What’s the best way to utilize education benefits here? Should I focus on increasing my VA rating for debt forgiveness? 3. Should I do hybrid/partially online? Will I have time for other courses? I want to major in finance, but I’d love to learn/get certified for cybersecurity, woodworking,gunsmithing & CNC, welding, construction,automotive, etc. 4. Should I start taking courses online now while I still work? And does infantry have ANY transferable credit hours? What’s the best way to do vet college life? Also, any things you wish you had known before going to school? Thanks y’all!
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2023.03.26 00:52 Gallicepticum How do you support you SO while trying to stay strong yourself
Hi everyone. I'm going to write a lot because I felt like I needed an outlet for my voice so please bear with me. I realized how much I was writing so I decided it might be smarter to write here first what advice I'm seeking. I wanted to just see if anyone else had situations like mine and what you did to help your SO heal but also how you healed yourself without having your SO there for you 100% (9 years together you can assume that whenever there's a problem we run to each other to rant and always give 100% support to each other). Please feel free to read as much as you can below:
Me (24F) and SO (24M). My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years and have known each other since we were 10. We are both pursing doctorate degrees and I have 2 years left and then a 2 year residency. I guess our background would be that we started dating in high school and have grown together as individuals as well as grown together as a couple. We have talked about marriage and it's come to both our understandings that eventually when I finished my doctorate and he finishes his, and then we have stable incomes, we would like to get married. We do talk about our future together and joke about how our children if they get my personality will be a headache and a menace, so a future together is something we want but both agree that there's no point in a marriage if you cant support each other financially.
It's been a turmoil of events but a summary is that his mother went to her PCP Doctor and after an initial diagnostic x-ray, the doctor found that she did have a malignancy and to follow up with an oncologist a week later. A week later, we were still hopeful and his mother took an MRI to confirm staging of the cancer. My boyfriend was especially more hopeful because he had thought they had caught it early but a few days ago the new x-rays revealed that the lung cancer had metastasized to her spinal cord and her brain, making the definitive diagnosis stage 4 and inoperable. The part that is the worse is that she never smoked never drank alcohol and this was the outcome.
Throughout the weeks when my SO was taking his mother for scans and appointments, I knew to take a step back and let him breath and process things. I only check in with him to see how he feels and never push to meet him but I do tell him that it's an option on the table if he ever needed me. A few days ago when they found out about the brain metastasis, my boyfriend already knew what it meant and was already preparing for the worse. I made sure to let him know that I was there and turned on my sound notification for his messages only so that I could drop everything and be there for him (I sleep early and have a tendency to turn everything off.
I have experienced loss before when I was younger, but what I never experienced or was prepared for, was being on the other end and being someone else's rock when your breaking too. Because I knew from the beginning and only his parents and brother were aware of the situation, I had no one to talk to for the last few weeks. I finally understand what other reddit forums have been saying about you giving 90% and he can't give that 10%, because he's breaking too while trying to be his parents rock.
He will keep me updated on the situation every few hours but at night he breaks down when everyone is in bed and then confides in me emotionally. Its also hard because we have different sleeping schedules and I have to wake up at 5:30 for clinics (but I'm okay with the late night phone calls because I know it helps but still, sleep is nice). It's a lot to handle when you're breaking too and I caught myself today when I felt some resentment because I was never once asked how I was feeling throughout this whole situation by him.
I guess everything caught up to me and all my emotions came out finally. I confided in two close friends finally and felt better but still felt shitty. I decided to go to therapy because I realized I too need a rock (normally my SO is my rock) to get through everything right now. What I'm feeling is just helplessness because I know how much my SO is hurting and I can't be there for him physically because I want to give his family space. His family only recently told some other family members and I feel like an outsider looking in. I want to help and be there for them all but can't because they're all grieving differently.
It's hard to accept a sudden change when your no longer the priority and I don't want to resent my SO because of my feelings only. Thus, I decided on therapy and to keep sane until my appointment next week, I wanted to finally tell someone my story with no judgement and come here to reddit.
I don't know if anything I even said made any sense but it did feel nice to finally get everything out when I'm so used to running to my SO to tell him everything. And that's the hardest bullet to bite right now, that I no longer have my rock and I know that things will never go back to normal because we're no longer the same people we were a few weeks ago.
I'll will forever love him and we'll get through this somehow, but it's hard to talk about this with him when he's already going through so much. The least I can do at this moment for the both of us is to talk to my friends and a therapist, so that my emotions don't add onto his.
Thanks for reading all of this and helping me cope with the overwhelming feelings of feeling alone (but not truly alone) and the helplessness of everything happening right now.
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2023.03.26 00:52 CooperHChurch427 Is it normal to grow in your 20's?
So for a while now I thought my grandma has been shrinking. However I've actually grown a inch. I'm a 23 year old women, and I was told there was a chance I'd grow again, I stopped growing in middle school, but my bones didn't fuse.
So is this normal? I also have been working out which I know can increase how much human growth hormone I produce.
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2023.03.26 00:52 LazyAdministration88 Considering a teaching career? I need to know the pros and cons.
Being a teacher has always been at the back of my mind as something I’d like to do. Now that I’m getting tired of my current career and I am interested in going back to school, I have started to consider going into education as an option. I feel like middle school would be my happy spot, most likely because it was my favorite grades when I was young.
I’ve talked to a few people who are/were teachers and they told me not to do it. I know things keep getting worse over the years and COVID especially screwed things up for educators. It has me feeling very confused. I don’t want to go into something that is going to leave me burned out and miserable, because that is how I am currently and it’s not fun. I live small so money isn’t a huge factor for me, I know I’m very fortunate in that sense. I just want a career that I’ll truly enjoy.
Any insight or advice would be greatly appreciated.
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2023.03.26 00:52 Chronic-fury Newly diagnosed. Scared, feeling alone.
So as of wednesday a neurologist diagnosed me with cluster headaches. Ive been having 2 headaches a day for nearly 3.5 weeks with all different pain levels. More sever pain levels like 11 or 12 outta 10 before starting predisone .. im from British Columbia Canada and have found immediately the importance of a family doctor. (Which i dont have) and how broken our universal healthcare system is. I have had a life changing diagnosis and have been givin no resourses or referals im out of the only meds i had romitrititan. Ive missed half of a months work. My depression is building.. and advice coming from experience would help. What do i do to adjust to my new life. What do people do at home to be comfortable. I can even find the drive to do basic chores. Please help me guys i would be forever grateful. Sorry about the gramar and spelling im in the middle of an attack right now and dont care lol.
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2023.03.26 00:51 mesopurplez Rant About Racial Self Identification for Egyptians/Arabs
I know this might annoy some people but I figure others might empathize.
Its so frustrating how there's no spot for North African/Egyptian/Arab on the AMCAS. I'm putting white on my application but I was ridiculed so much when I was younger for my skin being too dark. Most people assume I'm black and I feel like I empathize and share more with an african culture than a white one.
My undergrad is midwestern and not diverse at all so I'm looking at racial demographics in MSAR so I know which schools would have an environment I enjoy more and I wish we were represented. Feels disingenious to be lumped in with one category when I feel like my experiences and culture is just so different (as many are that are also put into the "white" category). Just wish there were more breakdowns.
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2023.03.26 00:51 Annicat06 Looking for laptop recommendations, price: up to 800€, Austria
LAPTOP QUESTIONNAIRE - Total budget (in local currency) and country of purchase. Please do not use USD unless purchasing in the US:
Budget: up to 800€ maybe 900€ if it can really blow my mind but not higher than that, Country of purchase: Austria (Vienna)
- Are you open to refurbs/used?
I'd prefer a brand-new one
- How would you prioritize form factor (ultrabook, 2-in-1, etc.), build quality, performance, and battery life?
Battery life and quietness are pretty important to me since I wanna use it for school (loud fans are a no-go), should be able to run a few basic games (no fancy AAA games), I don't want it to be flimsy but other than that I don't care much how it looks, how much it weighs, how big it is etc.
- How important is weight and thinness to you?
Not really important
- Do you have a preferred screen size? If indifferent, put N/A.
N/A
- Are you doing any CAD/video editing/photo editing/gaming? List which programs/games you desire to run.
Creo parametric (for school, it's 3d modeling), games like OSU or Minecraft (I won't be playing any AAA Games, fps or anything like that)
- If you're gaming, do you have certain games you want to play? At what settings and FPS do you want?
Games I wanna play: OSU, Minecraft, idk about the settings tbh but I do NOT intend to do any competetive gaming or run fps, AAA titles or open world games
- Any specific requirements such as good keyboard, reliable build quality, touch-screen, finger-print reader, optical drive or good input devices (keyboard/touchpad)?
Good keyboard and sturdy build if possible (I hate flimsy things and I'm always scared to break them)
- Leave any finishing thoughts here that you may feel are necessary and beneficial to the discussion.
I don't know much about laptops so any help would be really appreciated. The sheer possibilities are endless and so overwhelming. Thanks in advance to anyone who's willing to help! <3
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2023.03.26 00:51 GoldenRiddler798 I bought this guy almost instantly
2023.03.26 00:51 waves207 So confused about what I should do @ 25
I've been going back and forth on what I should pursue in life regarding education. Being the only male among my siblings and brought up by my mother I have this fear of security that holds me back from pursuing bigger dreams. I know I could get into trades (I do enjoy working with my hands) and do decent (also if you work in trades feel free to chime in) but there are so many opportunities in life and I have a hard time choosing one. I have multiple interests including medicine, finance, business, teaching and traveling for work would be fantastic. I am extremely fortunate in the fact that my schooling will be 100% paid for. I just am overwhelmed with the possibilities and I feel as if my brain is all locked up. Any thoughts on this would be so helpful.
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2023.03.26 00:51 Chicka360 What to do when you’re morally obliged to invite to your graduation party?
I’m not sure what to do. My fathers friends are quite rude and very judgmental. I grew up with their daughters. Their daughters slowly become just as rude, shallow, and arrogant as their mothefather. I do not want them at my graduation party. Like at all. But they’re close family friends. They’re all the same and I don’t want them in my life, they’re very loud and drink constantly. I’m very quiet and would be happy to keep drinking to a minimum. And honestly, I’d rather not have a grad party at all, I’m only doing it for my family. Id rather have my 4 friends chilling in a tent in my back yard. I know I’m going to cut contact with my dads friends, but for the time being I can’t. But regardless I don’t want them there, plus his friends are a large group that is mildly woven into my family. So I cant really invite some over others without causing issues and snide comments. I cant make everyone happy in this situation.
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2023.03.26 00:50 Unable-Youth People who left high paying jobs to pursue a new career, was it worth it?
I’ve been working in a corporate role for just under a decade. I have a quantitative degree and earn a very healthy salary.
I’m very grateful for where I am personally and professionally. However, I recall my first day of work in my line of work was quite depressing. I never quite enjoyed my role and did always find myself more intrigued by going back for higher education and pursuing law (specializing in the area I currently work in). I liked the idea of adding more credibility and education to my repertoire so I decided to write the LSAT.
I scored in the 80th percentile at the time, but my score has since expired. My undergrad was a nightmarish math degree so my GPA is not very healthy.
Time has passed, I’ve grown in my own field, those dreams fizzled, and I’ve become a mother. I’m starting to wonder if it’s worth pursuing this path or not. I’d have to retake the exam and possibly do a few courses to improve my GPA…. While juggling young children. Maybe I’m insane.
Lawyers, or anyone who has made a career change that required more schooling and potentially losing out on a current good salary, do you currently like your jobs?
Was it worth it?
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2023.03.26 00:50 annoyingstupidbody 35 [M4F] GMT / Online - Looking for someone to spend time and share with, friends or otherwise
Hello world. I'm a 35 year old ordinary human being looking to escape the futility of searching for friends or otherwise as a man past his prime. I'm currently in the market for another to share and grow with.
A bit soft around the mid section with a few screws rattling around upstairs, I can still boast 4 limbs and a semi-functioning brain. I have a lifetime of experience in all manners of degeneracy, regeneracy, half-baked aspirations, foolish hail mary's and everything inbetween. The product at the end of all that is something, somehow, sort-of upright; artfully broken and ready to embrace the good times.
I'm searching for someone to get to know. That doesn't necessarily have to be romance, but if you feel like that is a potential outcome then I would humbly request that you be from the UK or somewhere relatively nearby. I realize that is hard to know without context, but I think most people have an idea of what they want from these exchanges.
I want to talk with someone and be completely vulnerable. I'm tired of holding my shield up all the time; It's heavy and it has spikes. I want to share my life with you and have you do the same. I want someone to talk with that values honesty and integrity but can still laugh at fart jokes. I'd like to be with someone who isn't afraid to tell me they think something is stupid and rhyme off a thousand incredibly subjective but hilarious reasons why it is stupid. Be opinionated, be fearless and know yourself.
I'm looking for someone open, honest and detached. We all have history and a lot of it is ugly. It doesn't matter what it is, but you have to be willing to share like I will with you. Life has ups and downs and how you manage it defines you. I think communication is extremely important in relationships. I'm no saint in that regard but I work on it in my regular life. I don't think arguments or getting angry has to be the end of the world. I think communication has been the biggest contributor to failings of my past relationships, friends or otherwise; and I think that's common in society so I consider it important to work on.
If you have pets you are obligated by universal law to surrender their pictures to me. I don't currently have animal friends but I can share old ones.
I am driven and obsessive about my passions. I live with family by choice. I can be crude, blunt and dark. I have sadness but it doesn't dictate my life. I am single and have been for a long time by choice. I have a clean divorce long in the past with no baggage or fallout. I removed myself from the social loop by choice but have since realized that I can't do this alone anymore, so this is my attempt at reaching out to the world for someone like-minded. Local apps and community were sadly a bust.
Basically, I'm a lonely man with a lot to offer and I want to be important to someone and have them be the same for me.
Me: I love nature, hiking [but not in a social media way], games [video or board or otherwise], most forms of media [I love to talk about music and film], reading, writing, cooking, and animals. I'm leaving out specifics because that's part of the process.
You: Like me but more like you than me because I'm kind of lame. Must be open to the potential of voice calls in the future. Must be interested in daily conversation or otherwise. Ideally 30+
So it goes
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