Medical courier jobs near me

I need some advice please!! I got a better job offer - work from home 4 days, 1 day in the office, better salary and office close to home, which I can walk to when we need to come in the office 1 day per week. Better hours (9-5).
Currently I work from the office 5 days a week, my hours are 8-6 and I commute into Central London which is long, stressful and very expensive. I get up at 5am everyday, I get home 8pm, my travel costs £400, I have basically no time for myself so I started looking for new opportunities.
I am 27 years old and my current team is mostly girls my age and I get along with everyone really really well, we literally have so much fun everyday (and get the work done obviously) the culture is amazing. The director is very caring at nice & recognizes me so much.
However the new team doesn’t seem so “good”, I would be the youngest one (everyone else is 40-50+ yo) and mostly men, who seem very serious, professional and “strict”.
I feel physically sick and anxious about leaving my team and joining the new company. Also I am scared because I have been in my current job for 5 years and I am really good at what we do, basically know everything and everyone in the company… the thought of not knowing anything or anyone in the new job scares me so much.
Any advice or could anyone share similar stories when you had to leave an amazing team? Do you regret it? Shall I accept the offer and leave? Even tho I love my current job&team.

Hello all. To preface, my friend (we will call her Lisa) have been friends ever since high school. We became friends because we were both being cheated on by the same guy. We decided to become friends and kick that guy to the curb and have been close ever since. In retrospect, I can see how this friendship has been more of a trauma bond. But nonetheless, I have never been closer to anyone in life. We finish each other’s sentences, have had the most fun together that I’ve ever had, and have been through a lot together. We always joked and said we were soul mates. Now that we’re both older and life is taking us in other directions, I am more triggered by her than anything.
After my first boyfriend (the one that was seeing both me and Lisa) I got another boyfriend a few years later. We can call him Kane. Kane told me that he was going on a trip to NY to visit family, but what really happened is that he left, and never came back. That was his easy way out of our relationship. I only found out because I saw a picture of him and the girl he left me for (we will call her Alice). It devastated me. It triggered me in such a profound way, that I became too depressed to work, and I ended up losing everything. My apartment, my car, and my job. For about 3 years after that, I struggled. When my depression over this man started to disappear, I just settled into my new identity that felt worthless and bummy.
Fast forward. I find out randomly one day that Lisa and Kane slept together on a drunken night years back and I never knew. It is still unclear when exactly this happened because they both have conflicting stories. I was angry for awhile. But ended up forgiving her because I did not want to lose my only friend. This was stupid of me, but I figured this happened so long ago I might as well let it go. Wrong. Typing this out I am realizing whatever justification I came up with for this isn’t good enough.
After numerous talks, and numerous apologies and validation from her, we have kinda settled into a good place. But I just saw on Instagram that she denied coming to my little get together with friends last night because she was actually going to a different one- with the girl my ex left me for.
I’m really triggered by this. It seems like they have all moved on, have found fun friendships in each other, but I have no friends and no life really outside of work and school. It makes me feel worthless. I don’t know why I struggle to make friends that I connect with, but the people who have triggered such dark times in my life have seemingly great lives.
I am in a new loving relationship now, and I genuinely have no feelings for my ex anymore. But still, seeing my only close friend finding a community with them guts me. I can’t help but think that there is something wrong with me.
Not sure what I’m looking for. Advice is welcome.

Hi! My name is Chelsi Patton and I am a second year medical student in Utah. I noticed posts about people having a decreased desire to drink after starting Semaglutide/Wegovy/Ozempic. This seems to be a very common side effect and I am researching this at school.
Please answer these 5 short questions if you have experienced any changes in your desire to drink alcohol since starting your medication or if you experienced nausea and found that switching up your injection site helped (for example: switching from injecting in your stomach to your arm/thigh).
You are able to remain anonymous or add your name at the end. Id be more than happy to share the anonymous results with you to help combat these effects and have the best results on Semaglutide. Thank you in advance I really appreciate your time!
If you have any questions please email me at [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]). IRB# 2023-053
Link to short survey:
https://rvu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_0ig6ebz868EJpWK

I’ve noticed people asking about Arma Inscriptas in the Megathread, and tbh I was curious myself. I don’t think there’s an EN resource on AIs so I decided to try and create one myself.
I sourced the AIs from Neural Cloud’s official posts on Weibo (Chinese Twitter), ran them through OCR and translation, and—with my own limited knowledge of Chinese—fixed up some of the translations to be consistent with the existing official EN translations in-game.
A couple of points:

• The official descriptions describe simple, not detailed versions, of skills. As such a lot of content will seem ambiguous. I have done my best to clarify certain translations, but I have purposely chosen not to elaborate with my interpretation of the translations.
• If you find something that seems ambiguous, assume that is ambiguous as intended. If you find something that is specific and sounds too good to be true, however, please let me know and I will double check the translation.
• I do not play the CN version of the game. So assume any replies I make to be speculation and not fact. I gladly welcome any CN players to come chime in on details.
• I do not know what is going on with Antonina’s AI2 either
• This is a huge post and I’m on my phone so I can’t guarantee it will look ok format-wise. But I will be making updates to the post if I find any issues.

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Evelyn

1. Arma Inscripta I: Passive Skill “Advancing Tactics” Enhanced

Evelyn gains a boost to her Damage Reduction. Has a chance to Knock Back attackers upon taking damage, or Stun them if they cannot be knocked back. Recovers HP upon Stunning an enemy.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] When Evelyn’s HP is low, her Damage Reduction is further increased.

1. Arma Inscripta II: Auto Skill “Riot Measures” Enhanced

Deals a small amount of Operand Damage to all enemies in the area and Stuns them
[Arma Inscripta Effect] When skill hits only one enemy, Evelyn recovers HP.

1. Arma Inscripta III: Passive Skill “Advancing Tactics” Enhanced

Evelyn gains a boost to her Damage Reduction. Has a chance to Knock Back attackers upon taking damage, or Stun them if they cannot be knocked back. Recovers HP upon Stunning an enemy.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] When Evelyn’s HP is low, her Damage Reduction is further increased. Evelyn applies “Weakened” to enemies that cannot be knocked back. “Weakened”: ATK and Hashrate are reduced.
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Delacey

1. Arma Inscripta I: Passive Skill “Recovery Substitution” Enhanced

Tethers herself to the ally unit with the greatest ATK/Hashrate in the same row, enhances their ATK/Hashrate, and Heals the tethered unit continuously.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] Creates a secondary tether to an ally unit on the battlefield with the greatest ATK/Hashrate and enhances their ATK/Hashrate.

1. Arma Inscripta II: Passive Skill “Recovery Substitution” Enhanced

Tethers herself to the ally unit with the greatest ATK/Hashrate in the same row, enhances their ATK/Hashrate, and Heals the tethered unit continuously.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] Creates a secondary tether to an ally unit on the battlefield with the greatest ATK/Hashrate and enhances their ATK/Hashrate. The Healing Effect is enhanced and will target the tethered unit with the lowest HP percentage.

1. Arma Inscripta III: Auto Skill “Destructor Chain” Enhanced

Boosts the tether's effectiveness, increasing the Healing Effect of Recovery Substitution and deals continuous Operand Damage to enemies in contact with the primary tether.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] During this skill’s activation, the tether’s ATK/Hashrate boost is further enhanced.
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Fern

1. Arma Inscripta I: Passive Skill “Dragonbone Awakening ” Enhanced

Summons a Fossil Dragon Guard after a brief period. When the Fossil Dragon falls in battle, it will be re-summoned after a few seconds.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] The Fossil Dragon inherits more of Fern’s attributes, and when the duration of Solnhofen’s Hunt ends, refreshes the attributes of the Fossil Dragon.

1. Arma Inscripta II: Passive Skill “Dragonbone Awakening ” Enhanced

Summons a Fossil Dragon Guard after a brief period. When the Fossil Dragon falls in battle, it will be re-summoned after a few seconds.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] The Fossil Dragon deals additional Operand Damage to its target.

1. Arma Inscripta III: Passive Skill “Dragonbone Awakening ” Enhanced

Summons a Fossil Dragon Guard after a brief period. When the Fossil Dragon falls in battle, it will be re-summoned after a few seconds.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] When the Fossil Dragon attacks, it deals damage to all surrounding enemies within 1 tile.
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Centaureissi

1. Arma Inscripta I: Passive Skill “Maid’s Discipline” Enhanced

Deals some Physical Damage to all enemies near her target and Stuns them. This effect enters cooldown after triggering.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] After several attacks, applies the Control Effect “Tremor” to the target. When enemies affected by “Tremor” take non-derivative damage, they take additional damage.

1. Arma Inscripta II: Passive Skill “Maid’s Discipline” Enhanced

Deals some Physical Damage to all enemies near her target and Stuns them. This effect enters cooldown after triggering.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] Centaureissi’s Normal Attacks on enemies affected by “Tremor” will speed up the skill recharge of her passive skill. “Tremor” will decrease the debuff RES of the affected enemy; this effect cannot be stacked.

1. Arma Inscripta III: Passive Skill “Maid’s Discipline” Enhanced

Deals some Physical Damage to all enemies near her target and Stuns them. This effect enters cooldown after triggering.
[Arma Inscripta Effect] When “Tremor” is applied to an enemy, Centaureissi gains an HP Shield, and buffs her own ATK.

I just want to hear different insights and answers on this. I know it's okay and common to not know what to specialise in yet. I'm going to do F3 just to give myself sometime to think, but I'm quite worried I'm not gonna be able to decide still after. I've been quite down lately as everyone around me seems to be able to either decide on their speciality or their priorities.
I got 2 specialities in mind: Obs & Gynae and IMT. GP is another potential option.
Obs and Gynae- I would LOVE to do this as there is a massive range of medicine and surgery on relatively young patients. Dream would be infertility or gynae oncology. However, the training is very long and competitive, I don't really like Obstetrics, brutal rotas, and high levels of drop outs.
IMT- Could do this and go for GUM/HIV route afterwards. I enjoy a bit of medicine anyways but I rather be doing a bit of procedures. Can't really see myself doing cardio, resp, neuro, stroke etc.
GP- Great work/life balance and shortest training. Also allow special interests and flexibility with whatever we want to focus on like women's health. But I didn't enjoy the 15-min consultations, the shit-life syndrome patients, and being isolated in clinics all the time. I know I shouldn't care what people say but so many specialty doctors in hospitals always shit on GP and it does affect me lol.
So I was told to think about my priorities- is it work/life balance, ego, or job satisfaction? I actually don't even know what I should prioritised. I would love to spend time with my partner and family as much as possible but then I also wanted to just go for my dream. Should I just bite the bullet for a shit rota for a couple of years and enjoy my speciality, or opt for the good work life balance now and potentially still enjoy my job as I can still make anything out of it?
Anyone here want to do a certain speciality but rather choose work/life balance and ended up doing GP? What helped with your decision and how do you stop yourself from regretting not doing the speciality you want to do?

28f USA. So like I know self diagnosis bad etc.. well I wish not smoking didn't cause my wishes to be unalive turning into actual attempts and meltdowns. I have such an uncomfortable pain/sensory sleepless experience in every way when I try to quit every time. Prior, I have likely some combo of CPTSD (not sure I'm not triggered by past events or perpetrators in a way I can discern?) and/or autism, and ADHD at the least I now realize lately in life. I had initially tried recreational, but found it helped my ability to communicate and stay calm so much. So the universe reaffirmed to me in my life good things should be savored then put away for a bit and I'm cursing my lack of caution. I became addicted and reliant when my chronic pelvic pain started to kick off and my stress levels increased dramatically narcissist things, then along with my dog friend dying 2020. I've realized I'm now experiencing a dangerous mix of autistic/ADHD burnout prior but now also cannabis induced catatonia. No one has been helpful I've seen plenty of therapists/doctors the last year. So now I really have to start finding some ways to quit alone as no one in my life, family or professional, is making it possible whatsoever. I am going to keep trying to find hope here, this is going to be interesting going forward. This is a medical emergency if anyone experiences this by the way, but I guess if you're in the USA for sure good luck to you getting help I'm in Cali. Ima keep on like the cockroach I am to them I swear lol. Beat this with the magic of willpower?!

I have an opportunity to work for PSA but I really want to work for AA in a specific location. I haven’t seen an opening for that location in quite awhile. Can someone please tell me if working for PSA airlines (American Airlines affiliate) is the same as working for AA when it comes to job postings? Is it considered an Inter-company transfer or is it considered leaving one company for another? Is it smart to take the PSA job and wait my time until I see the opening I’m waiting for?

Context: due to mental issues and actions I had to leave my hometown to live with my father. Junior year was harshly affected due to this and my father started to see me as a nuisance. Senior year was an straight A year but it didn’t change anything. Immediately after graduation I was expected to pay for college myself, pay bills, pay for my own food, Ubers, etc. I’ve yet to get a license or car. But at least I had a place to stay. As of may 31st I will not. This is due to me not wanting to work 3 jobs like my dad wants. Instead I’m getting a promotion to manager ($18) at the end of this month, but he doesn’t believe me. I live in the austin surrounding area. I have no friends (that I know of) open to me staying with them. If I can’t find a solution, I will “leave” rather than struggle outside. Please help me, I’m willing to work, i mean I already am but Im struggling to get to work some days much less get a license and car.

Earlier this year, I had a talk with some friends from my past job at Target. I asked them what our plans were for our spring break trip and one guy floated the idea of all of us flying down to Rocky Point Mexico. We were all down for that, but the guy who suggested it came to me a couple of weeks ago and told me that the trip wasn't happening since him and some others at Target couldn't get their time off requests granted. I believed him and didn't make a big deal out of it, but today I caught them in a lie.
I logged onto Instagram and saw that one of my them had posted a series of pictures of them at Rocky Point. The pictures had them all sitting at the beach, eating at the restaurants, and stuff like that, and I was upset about not getting invited. What's worse is that when I logged back on a little while later to see them again, the photos were all gone. The friend obviously deleted them, so I decided to confront one of them. I texted him about it and he denied the trip ever happening. He was gaslighting me and trying to make me come off like I was seeing things, but I clearly saw the damn photos.
I warned him that I was going to get to the bottom of this and all he had to say was "Do what you gotta do." So it's clear to me that the trip happened and not only did they not invite me, but they're trying to make sure that I don't know about it. They obviously didn't want me on the trip and now I'm pissed off. Am I right to be feeling this way?

I have nearly all the clips and promotional videos for GF saved on my computer and all I'm missing is episodes 4 and 5 of "The Mystery of Gravity Falls". Ironically, TheMysteryOfGF used to have them all posted on his YT channel, but 4 and 5 got copywrite stricken by Disney and aren't available anywhere else from what I could tell. I did manage to find a link to episode 5 but it haven't managed to do anything with it. Please let me know if you have access to these, know where to find them or could help me get in contact with TheMysteryOfGF.
Episode 5 link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlHDwUHTPcs

There is a national park near where I live and from the looks of it, nudity is legal. HOWEVER, I have never seen someone nude there and if someone was seen nude it would be out of place. This is similar with many places I visit (Oregon, Washington, national parks, etc.), whereby nudity is legal but not commonly practiced. If they are practiced, they seem to be away from people as much as possible.
Ideally, I'd like to walk around this and other national parks nude. But I'm worried that because it's so uncommon that if someone was to see me, they'd be in shock or it would be socially frowned up (if I ran into a family or something).
Has anyone experienced similar situations? What are your thoughts? Should I break the social barrier haha?

Ever since the pandemic it seems like people just make a job out of anything. One of the biggest examples of this is the goddamn resellers.
Do you have something valuable for a good deal? Well leave with up to the reseller to grab it and put it on Facebook Marketplace. Only it isn't just garage sales that they do this, it's fucking everywhere.
There's a rare collectible action figure you want, it's more than likely going to be sold out by one asshole who wants to make a quick buck. I get it, you're trying to find a hustle, but you're ruining it for absolutely everybody except yourself. Most of these people don't even collect what they're getting, they're just trying to make a few bucks. It's fucking sad.
I know for a damn fact y'all remember when Pokemon cards were damn near available nowhere because so many people were buying them in bulk to sell online, now it's spread to stuffed animals and baby formula for fuck sake. God I can't stand people

I’ve been at a job for a year and worked overtime plus did extra stuff for a while as we’re bare bones understaffed. It began taking a toll on me as I walked to work and work the graveyard shift.
I started pulling back, working just my normal hours and doing a lot less recently.
Recently I’ve been feeling a lot worse. I’m normally anxious about stuff but the pain I’ve been feeling and symptoms are abnormal. The pain has gotten worse and doesn’t really go away.
I recently realized it is likely an infection I’ve dealt with in the past and I’m also dealing with another health issue. I’m getting treatment for it. My mental health has worsened due to a lot of severe personal issues and work drama. I’m too stressed and anxious to sleep much, eat much or do anything to make my situation better.
I’ve only ever taken one day off besides today. The manager already has worked overtime and is salaried. So he obviously was pretty mad as he likely will cover the shift or someone else will.
My other manager has complained about my other coworkers taking time off for bereavement leave and a hospital visit. My situation is so comparatively minor so I think the anger and judgement is going to be worse. I’m afraid it may affect scheduling and relationships in the future but there’s nothing I feel like I can do without wearing myself down more.
I do plan on going in next time I work and going back to working normal hours. It’s just today, the symptoms are not going away.
I’ve made quite a few mistakes at work recently and it’s mostly mental and physical health causes I think. I’m trying my best but I feel so worn down. I feel guilty because I technically can force myself to come in.

I have a friend that I happen to know uses the same username everywhere. Out of idle curiosity this morning, I looked her up on here... and I did find a username that matched (that alone doesn't mean that it's her). But then I went digging to see if it's actually her (why? IDK, stupid plan, I should have stopped; it only occurred to me later that this is low-level stalking). Sure enough, it's her (location, job, personal opinions, and relationship length all confirmed as well as some personal history I'm aware of)... this confirmation only came after I read some posts on her current relationship (to another one of my friends). I guess I just wanted to know if my 'sleuthing skills' were actually good for something.
Long story short, I now know too much about their relationship (not anything wildly surprising, but I am a little disappointed in my buddy; however, it's for events mentioned that apparently happened years ago and they're working through it). I've got to keep this under wraps for the rest of my life and I don't think I'll see them any different, but I can't tell my close-knit friend group what I know and it's kind of been eating at me for a few hours. Anyway, if there's a moral it's don't look up your friends/acquaintances on social media you haven't been invited to look them up on.

Few months ago I quit my job and started my own dog walking company in Groningen. Are there any redditors that are still looking for one, send me a PM :)

OK, so for context, I'm (25M) a straight guy who just got a job as a parking concierge. So I work 42 and a half hours a week. Problem is, while I still make quite a bit more than minimum wage in my state, I still make less than $40K. It's my first job since I left Job Corps (an American vocational academy).
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I do want to find somebody seriously some time in the future, but after watching some manosphere videos for about 2 years, I feel...inadequate. Like, I am not even a prospect. On top of my modest income, I'm short at 5'6, weak, and lack any real masculine qualities. No strength, I'm not dominant, I can crack under pressure (outside of work), and so on. That deeply bothers me.
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But paradoxically, I actually DON'T want to play the "masculine" role in a relationship, nor am I exactly looking for femininity. In fact, if I'm being honest, masculine traits and masculinity in women is what gets my heart pumping. Physical strength and muscles (HUGE sucker for muscles), leadership, stoicism, being driven by logic, protectiveness, tallness, courage or lack of fear (they are NOT the same thing), generally being a tomboy, and so on.
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In fact, if I was being honest, my ideal woman is straight up like a dude; manly, if you wanna go that far. As for me, I'd honestly rather play the submissive, "feminine" role. I'd rather be the nurturer, cook and clean, and make my partner feel strong, competent, and awesome. It's to the point where I've thought of being a SAHH/SAHD a couple of times.
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What are my chances here, and in general, what advice can you give me?

Hello, I would like to get opinions from others in regards to what I am going through. I have been married for 8 years to this korean guy. I am spanish so our cultures are a bit differently. I sponsor him and brought him to live with me in Canada. He comes from a very poor living environment and I promise him that i would support his dreams and goals. This past years he only focus on studying in University while I worked full-time to support both myself, him and my son. This past years have been super difficult in our marriage, he has always been unfaithful with other women from online and has once even met a women in person behind my back. Anyways, because i felt so sorry for him, I gave up on my dreams to help him achieve his. I was able to only graduate to college since I couldn't afford to continue my studies since i had to work to support my family. I am currently working and studying again full time to get another college diploma. However, my husband always complains that I am low quality because i dont have an university degree, i cant cook food like he wants, and also because my body is still the same as before. He wants me to read books and build muscle and be super fit but the problem is i dont have time. I work from 7:30 till 5:30 and get home almost 7pm and have to study as well. I do go to the gym at least 3 times a week but it is super hard to build muscle. I dont consider myself ugly but average petite and weight only 110 pounds but for him, is not enough. I feel like he wants me to do be like his online girlfriends who are much prettier than me. They also have higher education than me. He constantly complains, that i am downgrading his life because my job doesn't pay enough since i am only a daycare teacher. He saids he cant love me, if i dont work hard enough to improve myself and be more successful. He wants me to do be like him, study for hours and go gym, but i told him, i dont have the time he does. He saids i am just saying excuses to build myself to be better. He calls me lazy, and saids that me cleaning the home is not a hardworking behaviour. He wants a successful women, and i am not for him. I told him, I married him even though he had no money or education before and that he should see how hard i have work in order to help pay his education for him to successful. He saids if i dont work hard, he cant love me. His favourite thing to do is to take me otuside work a walk just to yell at me in front of other people. He said i shouldnt care about what other people think, and the embarrasement i feel cant be compare to the pain i make him feel. I dont think, i am being lazy, i work full-time and provide for my family and on top of that i study full time and i do the best i can.

I have many male friends but hardly any female friends so I thought I might as well change that. I’m a 22 year old redhead from WV and I’m 6’3 and have what some would call a dad bod. I’m really into FPS, open world and sandbox games, rock/metal, and watching YouTube. I don’t mind if you don’t live near me but my only requirement is that you’re 18+. Also I don’t mind going further than being friends if everything goes super well but I’m down to just be friends either way. If I sound interesting to you then send me a chat :)

Context: due to mental issues and actions I had to leave my hometown to live with my father. Junior year was harshly affected due to this and my father started to see me as a nuisance. Senior year was an straight A year but it didn’t change anything. Immediately after graduation I was expected to pay for college myself, pay bills, pay for my own food, Ubers, etc. I’ve yet to get a license or car. But at least I had a place to stay. As of may 31st I will not. This is due to me not wanting to work 3 jobs like my dad wants. Instead I’m getting a promotion to manager ($18) at the end of this month, but he doesn’t believe me. I live in the austin surrounding area. I have no friends (that I know of) open to me staying with them. If I can’t find a solution, I will “leave” rather than struggle outside. Please help me, I’m willing to work, i mean I already am but Im struggling to get to work some days much less get a license and car. I have nothing

Here's some pancakes while you keep reading ( ^-^)_旦
I've had more traffic related injuries than I’d like to admit, so it makes sense that I work with self-driving cars to make the roads safer. I am passionate about engineering and I love my job. I’ve lived in three different states in the US so far and have had a lot of fun experiences like; singing Taylor Swift songs with friends while walking the empty streets of Lincoln Nebraska, hanging out with friends being goofy by pebble beach in Brooklyn at night and riding electric scooters on the streets of San Francisco at midnight. Okay, maybe I just love exploring places at night. I do wake up real early though.
I love hearing about what makes other people passionate. I’m a creature of contradictions; an active bookworm, an early riser who likes lazy Sunday mornings. I wouldn't say I'm a great cook but I did win a cooking contest once, so there's that. I think true romance is about getting to know someone and connecting on a deep level. It’s more than just chemistry and attraction. Tell me about the story behind your favorite song or food. Or how rain makes you feel.

On a scale of one to ten, one being touching a hot car on a sunny day and ten being falling into the sun, I’d put having something burst into flames in my hand at probably a four. I think four is reasonable. I mean, we’re not talking about blistering heat that roasts your meat black. We’re talking about a little, blue, cat doll just catching fire and enveloping your hand up to the wrist in white-hot angel fire.
I think anyone’s first instinct when something they’re holding bursts into flames is to drop or throw the item. Since I am anyone, I naturally throw the doll with a squeal that turns heads. It hits the side of the closest tent and tumbles down it, paw over whisker. It leaves a trail of little fires behind it. These don’t just sizzle and go out, they get bigger.
Did I mention the smoke? There’s black smoke billowing out of the doll like it’s one of those funny fireworks that does nothing but make smoke. It doesn’t move like smoke though. Smoke just goes up where I guess it gets sucked out into space or something. This smoke swirls around in a ropey fashion like a snake.
“Meredith?” I say to the smoke snake, “Is that you?”
The smoke snake does not respond. Instead, one of the teenagers shouts, “FIRE!” and throws a cup of soda at the side of the tent that’s burning incredibly quickly. They all scatter. Soda is apparently not an effective fire extinguisher. The flames just sizzle and then swallow more of the tent.
I decide not to stick around. “If you’re Meredith, follow me,” I tell the smoke snake, and then turn to run for the busy section of the carnival.
I don’t make it more than two steps before one of the bigger teenagers grabs me by the shoulder. He’s a lanky boy with black hair and one of those “I wanna look grown-up” half mustaches that you almost wonder if you can just rip it right off his face. He’s wearing a Led Zeppelin shirt. I bet Roger and this kid would have been best buds or bitter rivals if Roger hadn’t gotten turned into mashed potatoes.
“Hey! This girl started a fire!” he yells to nobody in particular.
A girl with really short cut bleached blonde hair and one of those nose stud things runs over and gets right in my face. “Let her go, Johnny!” she snaps at the boy holding me. I’m surprised because I thought from her expression that she was going to headbutt me in the face and knock me out or something. “She’s pretty badass in my book.” She looks me in the eyes with something I’m not familiar with. Is that... respect?
Johnny lets go of me.
“That thing’s gonna burn the whole carnival down!” the girl yells. She sounds pleased. She’s even got a big grin on her face as she watches the fire on the tent rise upward.
“Well I’m not sticking around to watch, babe!” says Johnny, and he takes off between two trailers across the way.
There’s already shouts rising over the sound of the crackling fire. I hear someone yell the word “fire!” and the sentence, “grab an extinguisher!” Just over the tent, where the main thoroughfare probably is, some woman screams, and a kid starts crying. Oh God, I’ve gone and killed everybody, haven’t I? The entire carnival is going to burn to the ground and everybody’s probably panicking and stampeding for the exits. Then the screaming lady lets out a big burst of laughter and I realize nobody on the other side of the tent is even aware of what’s going on over here yet.
“Come on!” the blonde girl pulls on my sleeve. I stumble over my own feet and fall to the ground. She doesn’t stick around to help me up. Instead she takes off after her friend Johnny, doing some sort of twirly dance in the process as she runs away into the dark.
I start to get up from the dirt when I notice dark liquid running out from under me. It’s blood. It’s all over my shirt. I’m a sopping wet, red mess. Also, the cow pitcher is shattered. I must have fallen right on it and it broke and I got Nate’s blood all over myself! How am I ever going to explain this to that angry man I borrowed it from?
“What’s going on?” asks Paschar, “I’m getting only bits and pieces. There’s a fire? Smoke? Snakes? Blood? Are you injured?”
Actually, now that he’s asked, there is a big piece of the cow pitcher sticking through my bloody shirt down in my tummy area. I pull on the end of it. There’s a nasty, burning sensation so I stop pulling. I’ve gone and stabbed myself with a cow pitcher! Is any of this blood mine?
“I’ve spilled Nate’s blood all over myself!”
“Don’t rub it in your eyes!”
I wasn’t gonna rub it in my eyes. It’s not like I’m tired or anything. My cousin Susie used to rub her eyes a lot but that was because she had really bad allergies. Her eyes were always bloodshot. Susie’s worst allergy was boat propellers though. She was deathly allergic to those. After her accident, my Uncle George developed really bad allergies too. I could tell because his eyes were always bloodshot.
Someone nearby yells, “Over here!” and a pair of men run up with big, red fire extinguishers. They start spraying the white foamy stuff at the side of the tent. At first, it doesn’t look like the foam is going to stop the flames, but after a minute of spraying and one of the extinguishers running out of juice, the fire hisses and goes out.
The man holding the used-up fire extinguisher looks at the big, black, scorched portion of tent, then down at the crispy, little cat doll on the ground. Then he turns and looks at the claw machine. The machine blinks its lights like it’s saying hello to him. The man finally looks over at me, laying in a small pool of warm blood. It’s the man with orange hair who passed by earlier that I hid from.
“Look what we got here,” he says with a funny accent. I think it’s Irish, but it might be Scottish. I’m not an expert on accents. Everything I know about accents I learned from this movie I watched with my dad about a Scottish guy who was immortal and he killed other immortal people by chopping their heads off with a giant sword. Well, that and Mary Poppins.
The other man sets down his fire extinguisher and turns around. He’s a beefy guy wearing a huge coat with lots of pockets and a floppy-looking cowboy hat. “Who’s that, Gin?” he asks in a non-accent voice.
“Get up, girly!” The man named Gin reaches down and grabs me by my collar. He pulls me halfway up to standing on my own two feet. In the process, the piece of cow pitcher that has punctured me in the tummy area shifts and causes more of that intense burning feeling I got when I tried to pull it out.
“OWWWW!” I yell, hoping he gets the hint and lets go of me.
He doesn’t.
Then I notice that the snaky trail of black smoke is circling his head like a creepy halo. I don’t think he or the other man can see it because if either of them could, they’d surely be freaking out and trying to wave it away.
“This,” Gin says with one of those half-smile smirks that shows the canine tooth on the left side of his mouth, “is who Clay was looking for.”
The black smoke snake hunches back like it's about to strike at the back of Gin’s head. Then it lunges forward and splashes like a wave against him, going in all directions. A moment later, it recollects itself into a cloudy-form and swirls angrily around him like a swarm of bees dealing with Winnie-the-Pooh.
Gin pulls me the rest of the way to my feet. This is good because I aim to kick him in his testicles and I couldn’t do that lying down. As soon as I’ve got my footing, I pull back, swinging my foot out behind me--
--at which point he brings his big, adult fist into the equation by punching me hard in the guts. The pain is so intense I feel like I’m going to puke. Even worse, there’s a really sharp stinging sensation and then a wet kind of warmth. No, I didn’t pee myself. Gin himself winces in pain as he pulls his fist back to reveal the piece of broken cow pitcher stabbed right up between his knuckles. He lets go of me so he can pull it out and I take the opportunity to drop to my knees and double over, clutching where he hit me.
“Word of advice to you, lass,” says Gin as he flicks the pitcher piece away, “don’t broadcast your intention to kick a man in the quongs if you don’t want to get punched in the ovaries.”
I’m too busy rubbing my face in the wet grass to respond but I’m thinking about how annoying this thing with saying what I’m thinking is and I wish I could stop doing it because it really makes fighting bad guys difficult. I wonder if I just said that thought, but judging from Gin putting his boot on the back of my head, I’m guessing not. Bleh, the grass is warm and tastes like ozone. I realize I’m getting Nate’s blood on me. Paschar said to not get it in my eyes!
“What is she, like ten years old?” I hear the other man say, “What about this brat’s got Clay so spooked? You could knock her over with a wet fart.” Thanks for that visual, Sir.
Gin lifts his boot off my head. I take the opportunity to get my face out of the bloody grass and wipe it off my mouth. I can’t tell how much is on my face.
“She killed his kid or sometin’,” he remarks casually, “burned him alive.” He pauses. I look up. He’s looking at the scorched tent. “Seems like she’s got a penchant for fire. Maybe we ought to give her a feel of what it’s like to get burned before we bring her to Clay. What do you say?”
I cough up some dirt I didn’t realize was in the back of my throat. “I didn’t kill Joey.”
Gin wanders a few steps away and the other man comes over and puts a hand under my armpit. He helps me up in a far gentler manner than Gin did. I don’t think about kicking him in the testicles and I don’t plan to. The two men share a brief look and I worry for a second that I just said all that.
“She’s got blood all over her,” the big other guy says, letting go of me and wiping his hands off on his dark jacket.
“I don’t give a rat’s ass if she’s got shit and puke on ‘er,” Gin lights up a cigarette and takes a long drag on it. He looks at me like a kid with a magnifying glass looks at an ant. He blows out a small cloud of stinky smoke. I wonder if he can make smoke rings. “Give me her arm.”
Nothing good ever started with someone saying, “give me her arm.” I instinctively start to pull away, but the big guy puts his hand under my armpit again and moves me away from Gin, twirling me around so he’s between the two of us like a big wall.
“I’ve had enough of this. I’m not letting you put a cigarette out on a little girl. What the Hell is wrong with you, man?”
I put my free arm around his waist and give him as much of a hug as I can. Thank you, Mister, whoever you are.
Gin casually gestures toward the blackened tent flap and scorched patch of ground where the remains of my precious Freddy Lapel doll sizzles with otherworldly heat. “Look what she did, Dutch. She tried to burn down the whole carnival. Could have hurt somebody! Could have killed somebody--” He looks directly at me. “--again.”
Dutch’s thumb digs into my armpit but not so hard that it hurts. He smells like he had bacon recently. And he works on machinery or something, because there’s a distinct scent of motor oil on his clothes. I wonder if he knows Mr. Grizz.
“But thankfully nobody did get hurt. And I don’t know the full story between her and Clay, if there even is one. All I know is a grown-ass, Irish prick is telling me to let him put a lit cigarette on a ten-year old girl covered in blood and I ain’t about to be the guy that lets that happen.”
“I’m twelve actually,” I tell Dutch. He doesn’t hear or just ignores me.
The orange-haired creep named Gin takes another drag on his cigarette. I watch the end of it burn away between his fingers. Then he casually lifts one leg and puts it out on the underside of his boot. He flicks the butt away and then crosses his arms and stares at me hiding behind Dutch. If there was a clock, we could hear it ticking away, but there’s no clock. Instead, there’s just the hoots and hollers of people having a grand old time at the carnival.
After what seems like five minutes of just hard, quiet staring at each other like one of those Mexican standoffs in a Clint Eastwood Western movie --my dad used to love to watch Clint Eastwood movies. His favorite was called High Plains Drifter. I just watched for the horses-- oh right, like I was saying... after five minutes of that staring, Gin shrugs like he didn’t just step on the head of a little girl and then try to put a cigarette out on her.
“I’m fetching Clay.” He lingers for a moment, glaring at both of us, and then storms off in a hurried manner, really working his arms into it.
Dutch’s grip on my pit loosens. I stop hugging him and move away a step. He looks down at me. I can’t figure out what thoughts are going through his head. His expression seems like a jumble of worry and upset and even a little fear. He’s gotten all sweaty. He wipes it away with his sleeve and takes a rough breath.
“Thank you, Mr. Dutch,” I tell him.
He nods silently.
I check my pokey stab wound from the cow pitcher. It’s not leaking profusely but there’s blood and mud caked on my shirt and it’s sticking to me. I hope I don’t get a mud infection. I wish I better understood where germs come from. There’s blood all over my hands but I don’t know if it’s mine or Nate’s.
“I’m taking you to the front entrance and we’re calling the police,” Dutch tells me.
I almost forgot about the cloud of smoke. It is lazily drifting over Dutch’s head now, like a little, black raincloud. It moves unnaturally, not drifting away or dispersing in any way. Just a little, black raincloud over the man’s floppy hat.
We walk away from the burned tent and the claw machine in the opposite direction from the one that Gin went. A noise behind us makes me look back. A blonde woman with an apron covered with pockets from which prize tickets hang out all over comes out of a nearby booth alley and sees the mess I caused. She immediately zeroes in on Dutch and I walking away together.
“Oi! Dutch!” she calls out, “what the Hell happened here?”
“I’m dealing with it, Susie,” he tells her. He puts his hand on my arm as if to show that he’s got the perpetrator and is handling the situation.
I look up at him. “My cousin’s name is Susie.” I don’t know why I feel the need to mention that. My brain is kind of doing a reset at the moment as I try to figure out what I need to do and if that cloud is indeed Meredith’s soul like I think it is.
Mr. Dutch glances down at me and starts leading me away again. “Is that so?”
“My uncle ran her over with a motorboat.”
He frowns and looks away. “Oh.”
I realize I could have worded that better. “By accident.”
Paschar chimes in. “That’s probably not the best topic to be bringing up right now, Lily.”
Mr. Dutch seems to agree with Paschar. “Let’s just get you to the ticket booths, alright? Quiet like.”
Ahead of us, the back alleyway of tent flaps and old, unused arcade machines opens up to the main thoroughfare. I knew it was right there! I can see normal people, mostly adults because it’s so freaking late and kids have got school tomorrow but the carnival is in town so some parents brought their kids because some things are more important than school. Like fishing for little ducks with magnets on the end of a fishing line so you can get a ten cent knick-knack for the price of a couple quarters. Or shooting water in a hippo’s mouth and watching a balloon fill up from out its butt and whoever pops the hippo’s butt balloon wins a prize which is usually just a bunch of tickets like the ones that lady had falling out of her apron pockets.
The little, black cloud follows us, keeping just above Dutch’s head. I wonder if it intends to drop on him like an anvil in a Wile E Coyote cartoon.
Right before we reach the thoroughfare full of laughing, smiling people, I hear something. Fast approaching footsteps. They’re not speed walking; this is more like a jumbling hustle of several feet moving swiftly but trying to be quiet. Oh crap, it’s Gin and Clay. They’re going to burn me with cigarettes or rub deodorant on my wounds and stab me and light me on fire and--
There’s a hard WHOOMP sound right next to me followed immediately by a loud grunt like “UGH” but I can’t do it justice with words. It’s like the sound someone would make if they bang their elbow on the edge of a metal desk right where their funny bone is. Like right between the elbow joint bones, you know? Why does that hurt so bad? I think the person who named it the “funny bone” never hit the corner of a metal desk there. It’s the least funny bone in your body. Or second at least to the coccyx. That’s the little tail end of your spine. Yeah, we got tails. Humans got tails. They’re hidden though, tucked away in the butt area.
Dutch lets go of my arm. I turn to look at him. There’s a foot with a sneaker on it sticking out from between his legs. Just as quickly as I see it, it disappears. Mr. Dutch is the one making the pain sound. He reaches down and clutches his crotch, and his knees give out and he falls forward. Someone kicked this poor man in the testicles!
The foot belongs to the girl with the short, bleached blonde hair. She stands over the large, crumpled form of Dutch and looks at me with a triumphant grin.
“Bleep the authority!” she shouts and pumps her fist in the air. She’s wearing like a dozen rings on the one hand. How can she fit so many rings on such stubby fingers? “Let’s go!” she yells in my face even though I’m right there next to her.
Her friend Johnny is with her. He’s looking around anxiously. “Yeah, let’s get out of here already!”
I’m flabbergasted. “But Mr. Dutch was a good guy!” I try to tell the two of them.
They’re completely enthralled by their own sense of pride in a job well done, saving the little, bloody girl from the big man at the traveling carnival. Mr. Dutch is groaning in severe, testicle-kicked pain. I reach down to try to help him, and the blonde girl grabs my wrist.
“What are you doing?” she asks me through a smile that says she doesn’t even really care what my answer is, “we’re rescuing you! Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, let’s hoof it!”
I feel like that’s one too many horse-themed expressions in a single statement, but I don’t say anything. And not just that, there’s like twelve too many people getting involved in my problems lately. I’m not a complete idiot, I know well what happens to people around me. My whole family is dead. My best friend is... probably a little, black cloud that’s doing some sort of weird interpretive dance over the crumpled form of poor Dutch with the swollen balls. People get hurt around me. Hell, poor Dutch can attest to that at the moment. People die around me. People get torn apart by skinless dogs that form out of fungus that used to be old ladies and I can’t believe that’s even an actual thing I saw. I saw that. That happened.
I take the girl’s hand and remove it from my arm. “Look, I don’t know you or Johnny and you both seem really nice, but you need to get out of here before you get hurt. I’ll be okay. Mr. Dutch was taking me to get help. The bad people are coming, and they like to smoke. They’ve got an angel of death tied up somewhere. And there’s someone much, much worse who could show up any time.”
I think I lost them both somewhere around the part about that creep Gin being a smoker. The boy Johnny does another anxious look around the area, then he grabs the girl’s arm. “Nance, let’s just go. I didn’t come here to get murdered by some whacked-out carney cult.”
The girl Nance drops her arm and shakes her head at me. She starts to open her mouth to say something, then crumples it up into a little mouth and turns and trots away after Johnny. I watch them go. I don’t know who they were, but I hope they get far, far away. The curse of getting involved in my life has a long reach and is unforgiving.
After they leave, I kneel down and pat Mr. Dutch on the back. “All you alright, Mr. Dutch?” I ask him. He mutters something I can’t understand because he’s got his face shoved into the ground.
“You’re not cursed, Lily,” Paschar comments.
“Then why do bad things always happen to people around me?”
“Because your gift is chaotic,” I hear me say. Except I didn’t say it. Not me me anyway.
Paschar whispers, “Oh no.”
I feel the presence of another person standing right behind me. Unlike Nance and Johnny, this person didn’t make a sound. It was as if they rose up out of the ground or descended from the sky as silent as a feather touching a pillow. My whole body tenses up. That sounds impossible but it totally is possible and it’s incredibly uncomfortable. Don’t question it.
I turn around slowly. First at the neck, then the shoulder, finally at the waist. Why am I dragging this out? Because I don’t want to look behind me at the person because I know exactly who it is and I really don’t feel like peeing my pants right now. Or ever. But especially now.
For a second I think I’m just looking in a mirror because I see my own face. Except my actual face probably has more blood on it currently. But less blood everywhere else.
Samael smiles at me. “You got here ahead of me.” He looks at my clothes and then tilts his head and examines my face. “And from the looks of it, you’ve had one Hell of a time. Who did this to you? Was it him?” He points at Mr. Dutch who has finally rolled over onto his back and is staring up at the starry night sky with teary eyes and a really red face.
“This isn’t my blood,” I tell him.
He grins. “But this is,” he gestures at himself. Don’t pee, Lily. Don’t pee.
Paschar raises his voice. “Sam, please, you’ve got to come back! You’re unwell.”
“Really?? Did you really think that’s going to work?” That’s me talking. Actual me. Not Samael. “You can’t appeal to crazy! I mean, come on. You’ve got to have something to back your words up with. When in the history of ever has someone been on the verge of destroying a small carnival and someone else said, ‘don’t do it!’ and they were like, ‘oh, okay.’? Never!”
“She’s right.” Samael says, nodding and raising an eyebrow. Hey, I can’t do that. I try to raise one eyebrow, but I just end up raising both. So I stop and try again. But then I stop completely before it looks like I’m wiggling my eyebrows at him. He stares at me blankly for a moment after, then blinks a couple times and shakes his head.
Mr. Dutch rolls over and gets up onto his hands and knees. He lets out a big breath, then sits up and tilts his head back to look at Samael and me together. There’s a moment where he seems to accept what he’s seeing, but then he clenches his eyes shut, reopens them, cranes his neck forward and looks back and forth between us.
“Don’t hurt him,” says Paschar.
Samael smirks. It’s starting to feel surreal to see myself making faces when I can feel that I’m not. Also, everything’s slightly off because I’m looking at my actual face and not a mirror reflection of it. “I’m not here for Mr. Dutch,” says Samael, “I’m here for the rune-maker, remember? I’m here for Felix Clay.”
“Lillian Alexandra Madwhip!” someone shouts from the direction Mr. Dutch and I just walked away from.
As if he was just waiting in the shadows --which he probably was because it’s such a Felix thing to do-- Felix freaking Clay steps from seemingly out of nowhere and stands about ten yards down the alleyway from us behind Samael. Beside him is his orange-haired friend Gin, smoking another cigarette from the looks of the little glow I can see in his hand. I should have smelled him coming.
They’re a little ways off, but I can see them both pretty clearly, and Felix isn’t smiling. It occurs to me that he always smiled before, even when he was doing things that shouldn’t have made him happy. It’s like his smile is a mask he hides behind. But not now. Now he looks angry. And annoyed. And --why is he holding that hammer? He’s not even holding it right; he’s got the claw side down. He can’t hammer a nail that way unless his arms work backward.
“You came for me and here I am!” Felix yells at us, “But I told you not to come back. So now--” He and his Irish buddy Mr. Gin start marching toward us with very purposeful strides, and I can’t understand what he’s saying after the “so now” part. Mr. Gin pulls something I can’t see out of his coat and holds it close at his side. No doubt it’s a weapon, I just don’t know if it’s a stabby weapon or a shooty weapon or what.
Samael doesn’t look at them. He’s focused on me. He’s smiling. His hands are clenched at his sides, and I remember well that there’s a rune on one that lets him punch through people like they’re made of Play-doh.
As for me, I’m torn. Do I warn Felix that Samael can karate chop him into bits like some sort of bad horror movie? Or do I watch this play out? Maybe I should take this opportunity to just run. I mean, I can’t win against any of these people. Who am I? I’m a Knife That Cuts the Veil that’s dulled by the runes all over the carnival grounds.
While I stand there lost in that thought, Samael reaches forward and pokes me in the forehead. He starts moving his finger around. I just stand there and stare at him, waiting for him to jab a hole right through my head. Don’t pee, Lily. Don’t pee. What the heck is he doing?
“There,” he whispers to me, finishing whatever it is, “that should keep you safe. Just don’t smear it or your head might explode.”
As soon as he lifts his finger away, I can feel it. That tension I had that I mentioned early was all through my body, it just vanishes. I almost go completely slack in fact, but manage to hold myself up. Then comes a wave of warmth starting at the spot on my forehead that he last touched and encompassing my entire head, traveling down my neck, across my chest, down both arms at the same time, through my midsection and then hips, legs, ending at the tips of my toes. The pain in my abdomen that I had actually forgotten about also vanishes. I reach into the hole in my shirt to feel the wound. It’s still there and I feel my fingertip actually go inside the stabby hole for a second before I realize I’m still hurt; I just can’t feel it anymore.
“Who’s your little friend?”
Felix and Gin have finally reached us. Gin looks smugly at me, still holding his hand by his side. Samael turns to face them finally and Gin’s smug look is replaced with one of confusion. Felix stops mid-stride and even takes a step back. He also has a confused expression on his face. I don’t need to see Samael’s face to know he’s got the biggest grin on it right now.

I (25f) met a man a few months back and we instantly had a connection. He was taking me on dates, picking me up from work, brought me flowers, called and texted all the time and introduced me to some of his friends. He even told me he has no kids and was completely single. We saw each other nearly 5 times a week and tried new places together and eventually got intimate. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I agreed although I knew I still wanted to get to know him. I recently found out however that he has a wife and a newborn baby after I did some Facebook searching and I was devastated. I confronted him and he told me he loved me and didn’t want to be with her, but I sent his wife every bit of evidence. After sending the evidence he called me names and threatened my life, then proceeded to beg me to stop. I was hurt, confused and couldn’t believe he had lied so much about everything. He had given me so much of his money and time, I couldn’t believe he had a wife. I’m trying to move on from this but I don’t know why he did what he did. How can I help myself heal from all this? (TLDR) fell for a man that I didn’t know was married and I’m hurt.