Fast food near des moines airport

Xfinity/Verizon cell data issues on west side

2023.03.25 22:26 LazarianV Xfinity/Verizon cell data issues on west side

Has anyone else been experiencing issues today with Verizon/xfinity mobile on the West side? I started work for Grub Hub around noon and my 2nd delivery I was waiting for the food and suddenly had zero service, I went to the xfinity store and immediately had 5glte. Then, just now, I come home (near the airport area) and the signal is gone again.
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2023.03.25 22:06 Downtomarsgirl_2 ASW Review - UVA and Michigan

Sharing some thoughts from UVA and Michigan ASWs (tried to be as detailed as possible so apologies for the length).
I probably forgot some things and I know there were a lot of other folks that were also at both so please feel free to jump in and add any additional thoughts:
UVA
  1. Campus - I was extremely impressed by the main grounds of UVA... Google images definitely does not do it justice. However, the law school is pretty far away up on the north grounds and seems pretty secluded (for better or for worse). The law school building itself is nice but simple, nothing to write home about. One thing I did not like was that the classrooms (at least the ones I sat in on) did not have windows. But overall, it was modern and clean.
  2. Career Services - For the private sector, I'm pretty sure there isn't a single school that can beat UVA in this category. Kevin Donovan is an absolute treasure and clearly runs the career services office like he ran his biglaw practice. Students have said they'll get responses from the office within an hour of reaching out and receive extremely detailed/individualized feedback. Very clear UVA will do everything in their power to get you where you want to go.
  3. Professors/Classes - I sat in on the corporate law class with Geis and he was fantastic. He was engaging and explained concepts really well. Other professors seemed equally as intelligent and committed to making sure their students take away the important concepts from the class. For anyone interested in the private sector, it seems like UVA has a ton of classes and resources to support that pipeline. I'm unsure about the access to faculty because I've heard mixed things... some students said they've had no issues accessing their professors, and others have said they've had a harder time. Would love if others could weigh in here.
  4. Students - Overall, everyone I spoke with was warm, friendly, and smart. I could really tell that UVA truly selects students that will fit into and add to the collegial vibe. Both current and admitted students were all very polished and professional which, as an older student, was very refreshing. Current students had generally great things to say about their experiences and that firms typically recruit deep in the class - however, I did meet a few folks who are going the public interest route that had less positive things to say. I can certainly tell that the school heavily favors private sector and those pursing PI mentioned they didn't feel they had the same support/resources.
  5. Alumni - Every alum I met either during ASW (a lot of folks who currently work at the law school also went there) or beforehand has had nothing but great things to say about the school. A majority of them are based in DC or NYC so if you're interested in either of those markets, you will have many people championing you as a UVA law student.
  6. Other Academic Opportunities - As most schools, UVA offer cross-disciplinary options. I believe they said you can take 6 credits through another graduate school (for example, Darden) that will count towards your JD. In the fall semester of your 3L year, you can also apply to study abroad (although they said almost everyone who want to go abroad gets in). There are shorter programs over January term and the summers if that's of interest too.
  7. City - Charlottesville seems... fine. This is my only real qualm with UVA. For someone coming from a big city, C'ville is small and certainly doesn't seem very diverse. Also, something that a few current students spoke about that seemed to be grazed over by admissions was how bad the crime is in the area immediately outside of the campus... like, there was literally someone fatally shot about a block away from the Friday Bar Review bar when students were out that night. The next closest city is Richmond, which is an hour away. DC is about 2 hours away - which doesn't seem like a big deal at first but the C'ville regional airport is tiny and therefore only offers limited domestic flights so you will probably have to go to DC to fly anywhere that isn't NYC, ATL, or NC. On the flip side, there are really great food options, wineries, and breweries. Shenandoah National Park is very close so outdoor activities are plentiful if you have a car.
  8. Housing - There are a decent amount of housing options nearby the law school, including The Pavilion (which seems to be a popular spot for 1Ls). It's a little more expensive but the building is modern and spacious and is literally a 5 minute walk (albeit, uphill) to the law school. There are townhouses and other options a little further out that seem to be a bit more affordable.

Michigan
  1. Campus - Michigan's campus is nothing short of incredible. The law school is in the middle of Ann Arbor so you really feel the buzz and energy of the city/school when you're at the school. The Law Quad looks like something out of a Harry Potter (I actually think it was a contender for the HP movies, if I remember correctly) and the dramatic architecture kind of makes you want to learn. Basically all the classrooms have windows so the natural light is lovely.
  2. Career Services - I was a little disappointed in the private sector career services presentation. They basically just shared a bunch of publicly available stats (what markets they send people to, how many students go to firms vs clerk vs PI) and they didn't really offer much insight as to how they actually help students get jobs. Sure, they emphasized setting up 1-on-1 meetings with them early in the semester but otherwise didn't provide nearly the same level of confidence that UVA did. Anecdotes from current students have said career services hasn't been particularly helpful but they still have pretty good outcomes so take that as you will. One thing that was interesting was that they said they host an event to casually speak with firms before the formal OCI process. I'm sure other schools have similar options but I did like the pre-OCI concept. Unclear what (if any) GPA cutoffs there are for specific firms. However, there's literally a Kirkland & Ellis cafe in the law school so I feel like the Michigan name holds weight regardless (and they also said they sent the most amount of 2Ls to Kirkland, Latham, Skadden and PW).
  3. Professors/Classes - I sat in on a live corporate law class my first day and the professor seemed bright and the students were clearly engaged. Most students participated by raising their hands but there were some cold calls as well. The whole group got to sit in on a mock torts class and I also thought this professor was engaging, although he did make some politically charged comments that I thought were unnecessary. But overall, I definitely was engaged and appreciated the way he solicited opinions/thoughts from the students. There was also a faculty panel and it seemed like they all had a wide variety of experience. There's actually a professor at Michigan who went to UVA law and said she wish she had access to professors at UVA that students have at Michigan. Multiple professors spoke about times they've had students at their houses for meals and discussions about class and I felt that level of investment and rapport between students and faculty was extremely refreshing. I also experienced that firsthand - I reached out to a professor I wanted to meet with and she invited me to her house for coffee since she wouldn't be on campus that day (I didn't end up having time to go, but it was definitely an unexpected gesture).
  4. Students - As is talked about a lot on this sub, the students are definitely a bit quirkier. People are noticeably passionate about what they're at law school for and it is definitely evident that there is a strong PI interest so I think the "self-selection out of biglaw" narrative actually holds true. Tattoos and piercings are much more common, and people seem like they are much more expressive of themselves and their opinions. Again, for better or for worse. On Thursday night, the law school had it's school wide auction event where private sector students bid on certain unique experiences with their professors (e.g., go to a concert with X professor, cook a meal with Y professor, etc.). All the proceeds go to PI student resources. I thought the vibes here where a lot of fun - food, drinks, music and people definitely got rowdy. A bunch of admitted students also went out in Ann Arbor afterwards and that was honestly a lot of fun. The collegiality is definitely real; and almost every student I met said they had football team season tickets.
  5. Alumni - Overall, Michigan grads (not just from the law school) are insanely loyal to Michigan to the Nth degree. Because most grads leave Ann Arbor after graduation, there are alumni all over the country (and the world) that makes your career options across multiple different markets much more accessible. For someone like me that might not want to stick with law long-term, this is extremely appealing because it sounds like the alumni network will be extremely valuable when it comes time to exit a firm. For law-specific alum, there's solid representation at a ton of major biglaw firms.. this last year, they sent the most amount of grads to New York, Chicago, and Michigan/DC, in that order.
  6. Other Academic Opportunities - Michigan seems to be much broader in its academic offerings than UVA. There seems to be a much larger variety of what kind of law students want to practice and Michigan certainly has the resources to support those different paths. Also, Michigan is ranked as a Top 50 global university (currently #19) so their strength for international law/opportunities is incredible. 1Ls have the option of doing their summer internship abroad somewhere based on what their goals/preferences are, and study abroad options are available as early as 2L spring. Also, the externships and clinics offered are pretty abundant and seem to have options for whatever your particular interests are. There are also opportunities for students to work directly with the university, the city of Ann Arbor, and the nearby Detroit market, which I think is something worth considering for anyone who is interested in working during their 2L and 3L years.
  7. City - Ann Arbor is really awesome. There are plenty of options for everyone, no matter what your interests are. Museums, shows, sporting events, and even local nature walks (I won't say hikes because there are definitely no mountains lol). There are a bunch of different bars and restaurants (though Id say the food quality was better in C'ville) that provide for a bunch of fun social options. Also, the Detroit airport is massive and has plenty of flights to/from wherever it is that you may need or want to go to - which makes the city itself much more accessible. People are nice and midwestern-friendly, which is always refreshing.
  8. Housing - The Lawyers Club was actually nicer than I expected. Rooms are relatively modern and the proximity to classrooms and the library is unbeatable. Yes, it's pricier to live there than further off campus but the convenience factor is kind of unbeatable in my opinion. I've heard that most people choose to have a car but if you don't, there are both Michigan buses and Ann Arbor buses that can take you most places you want to go (and the general consensus is that people are willing to give others rides).

IN CONCLUSION; I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to choose lol I am extremely conflicted and would love to hear what other people are thinking after these visits.
Hope this was helpful!
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2023.03.25 21:33 bebespeaks Hey yalls, here is my entry of #fmfc #familyvlogfunnychallenge

Hey yalls, here is my entry of #fmfc #familyvlogfunnychallenge
The videos are from Forever Family Vlogs, Cyber Noop, and Ammy Robinson.
Forever Family Vlogs is a married couple, perhaps of Latin/Hispanic heritage, with 2 daughters who Appear to be 12 and 15. Or at least in that age range. Their entire vlog is about everything they're packing for a vacation trip to Hawaii. It's drawn out, slow, boring, and monotonous. The younger girl does some trying on of 2 different dresses, both of which are kinda revealing for her age and she acknowledges it as saying "this dress is feeling a little too big" while covering up her upper chest and cleavage with her hands, she was feeling insecure and uncomfortable trying on the dresses in front of the camera. Then there's more packing, weighing the luggage, and the younger girl weighed herself. I dont think that the parents should have included that scene in their vlog, it seems very sexually and physically exploitative of their developing pubescent daughter who already appears uncomfortable with her body image on camera. But then again, they kept it likely for the pedos and the monetization, so who am I to tell them what to do? Hmm. I might leave a comment about that on their YT, wait and see how many trolls/pedos/stans try to come at me. They get to Hawaii, get to their hotel room, and the two girls sharing a bed and the parents sharing a bed. No room tour, despite tours of inside of their freaking luggage contents earlier. They close out the vlog.
Overall, they have 793K subscribers, have been vlogging on YT since 2017, and have two other YT channels (the older sister had 315K subs, the younger sister at 940subs). They live in Florida, so can imagine their travel flying time to Hawaii must have been nearly a whole day worth of travel, but they weren't clear whether it was a direct flight or connecting flights. Oh ya, some teen girls recognized them at the airport like Crazy Stan's and got hugs from the two sisters.
Personally, I won't watch their vlogs again, I don't see the appeal for a woman my age to watch them or even like them. I think the younger girl is definitely gonna resist the camera more as she gets older, she seems disinterested in the camera being aimed at her many times throughout the whole vlog. I'll root for her. The parents need to edit out revealing body scenes and they need to read their daughters' body language with more concern, more parental love, and less interest in monetizing their daughters' discomfort with body image issues on camera.
The second vlog I watched: this chicken maybe age 17-21, Cyber Noop. It's a reaction video. She speaks so fast and monotone she would make a great rodeo/cattle auctioneer. She's like on fast forward mode while rapping but not rhyming, and she does it in such a nonchalant manner as if she doesn't speak any other way. She covers her reactions on The Norris Nuts. Yalls know about them, I'm not gonna overshare their terrible family dynamic as dysfunctional as it is. She does a deep dive into the toxicity that is the parents neglecting their parental duties and using their oldest 4 children as the primary breadwinners to provide for the family. It is also admitted the kids/teens do 100% of the thumbnails, editing, post-production of all their videos for all their countless channels, and they will often sacrifice sleep and whatever morsels of food they're allowed to eat without supervision just to please their parents' irrational and illogical deadlines for posting videos on multiple channels and platforms. I can't stand those parents and I wish the Australian government would put them on some kinda Watch Shitty Parents and Teach Them How to Parent Better list.
And finally, Ammy Robinson. She reacts to vlogs and the family vlogging stuff. She's easier to listen to than RadiantBritt, her voice is soothing and her British accent is just the right kind to my Amurican white trash ears. I can fall asleep easily listening to Ammy. In this video, she covers NotEnoughNelsons and how the parents bribe big money plus overly high allowances to their kids for getting A's in assignments and tests and projects they do at school. It's appalling. Tiffany Nelson is a weird mom. I've watched their videos before, besides the LDS Utah flavor, there's something very amiss about how Tiffany wears the pants in the family, and her husband is barely ever in the vlogs, or he's in the background actively avoiding the camera. >>>Then Ammy transitions to talking about FamilyOfNomads, who have recently had their 15yr old daughter admitted to a private care home for psychiatric health issues, likely related to anorexia and depression that they have overshared many details about in countless previous vlogs. Ammy doesn't share anything we didn't know already, but I know I certainly dont like the style that FamilyOfNomads puts into their editing and likely into their daily dysfunctional RV life.
Well, that's all I have to share for now. Thank you for reading this far into YTVloggerFamilies 's first official #fmfc / #familyvlogfunnychallenge post. I encourage all of yalls to continue this challenge as I give my thumbs a well deserved nap after typing all this on my Galaxy10. Have a good day, yalls!
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2023.03.25 21:19 Gladiolus96 The Wreath

Scritch. Scritch. Scritch.
Even as I write this, I can hear the wreath moving against our door. I hear it night and day. Scratching, gently scratching. Nothing more. Just a normal wreath, moving gently in the breeze. At least, that’s what it wants me to think.
Scritch. Scritch. Scritch.
It wasn’t so bad at first. Shortly after Thanksgiving, I came home to find the wreath hanging on our front door. My wife, Sarah, loved decorating for Christmas, and it wasn’t surprising she’d found something like this.
“Hey, honey!” I shouted as I took off my boots. “I saw the wreath, it looks really nice! Where’d you get it?”
She came bustling out wearing a wide grin and an elf hat. “I got it at the farmer’s market today, along with this hat! Isn’t it cute?
I laughed. “Sure, but you’re cuter.”
We busied ourselves with some chores around the house, and then Sarah went to bed early. After I finished washing dishes, I plopped down on the couch to watch TV.
At first, I thought there was something wrong with the show, and then I thought it was the TV itself. Every time I played my show, I heard a faint scratching sound, barely audible over the dialogue and explosions. But putting my ears close to the speakers just made the sound quieter; it wasn’t coming from there. And every time I paused my TV, the scratching went away.
Finally, I paused the show and sat there in silence, ears straining for any sounds. I was just starting to think I was imagining things, when I heard it again! I leaped up and quietly followed the sound to the front door. I paused, listening carefully, and heard it a moment later.
Scritch. Scritch. Scritch.
I yanked the door open, expecting to find a neighborhood cat or maybe even a mouse. But there was nothing. I stomped out onto the porch and looked in all directions, shivering slightly in the chill air.
But there was nothing.
I turned to go inside, when a slight breeze stirred the wreath on our front door. Scritch. Scritch. I chuckled and tapped the wreath, listening to its branches scratch gently against the wood. Should’ve remembered that thing was out here.
I yawned and went back inside, locking the door for the night. There was a sniff right behind me, and I whirled around. Sarah was standing right there, with a too-sweet smile plastered on her face and eyes that didn’t quite seem to see me.
“What are you doing to the wreath, sweetie?”
I stared at her for a moment, trying to steady my breathing. “Nothing. I heard a sound, but it was just the wind knocking the wreath against the door.”
“Okay.” She stood there for a moment, then jerkily motioned down the hallway. “Why don’t you come to bed?” Her movement looked unnatural, like she was a robot, or maybe a puppet guided by invisible strings.
We stood there for a moment, and I groggily tried to figure out why she seemed off. Was she sleepwalking? Finally, I shook my head and shuffled down the hall. I’d figure it out in the morning.
“You’re right. Let’s get some sleep.”
She followed me, and we both crawled into bed. The next morning, I awoke feeling grimy and tired, and I had a headache forming. When I asked Sarah about the night before, she just looked at me in confusion.
“I don’t remember getting up at all! I went to bed while you were watching TV, and that’s the last I remember.”
“You don’t remember scaring me when I went outside?” I asked, feeling slightly nervous. “You really spooked me. I heard the wreath scratching against our door, and suddenly you were there!”
“The wreath…” her voice became harsh, and her eyes suddenly glazed over. “Yes, the wreath. You should leave it alone. Don’t ever touch it.”
Her demanding words and tone of voice were so different from the chipper, upbeat woman I was used to, I just stood there in shock. She spun and stalked away, and a few minutes later, I heard her singing in the kitchen like she always did. Like nothing was wrong at all.
I rubbed my forehead again, fighting my looming headache. It was just a weird start to the day, that was all. When I got home, I hoped Sarah would be back to normal and this cold feeling on the back of my neck would be gone.
That night, there wasn’t a breath of wind on the air. But still, as I walked up to my front porch, I could hear the wreath faintly scratching against the door. Scritch. Scritch. Scritch. I shuddered and went inside, trying to ignore the blasted thing.
Sarah was in the living room, but she wasn’t watching TV. Instead, she was just sitting in our recliner, rocking gently back and forth as she stared at a blank wall. The recliner creaked with a regular rhythm. Creak. Creak. Creak.
She didn’t even turn around to look at me. She just kept rocking back and forth, staring sightlessly at the wall. I cleared my throat loudly.
“Hey, Sarah. How was your day?”
She didn’t answer, and I hurried over to her, fearing the worst. She was breathing, but her sightless eyes stared past me, and she wouldn’t respond when I shouted her name and gently shook her.
Panic gripped me, and I whipped out my phone to dial an ambulance. Sarah still did nothing, and I paced the living room relentlessly until I connected to a dispatcher. I told them what was happening, and the dispatcher said not to move Sarah, and that they’d send medics as soon as possible.
I walked to the front door and yanked it open, wanting to see the ambulance as soon as it arrived. The wreath banged against the door, then slowly settled into swaying back and forth against the wood again. I froze when I realized there was still no wind, and that Sarah was rocking in perfect cadence with the wreath’s scratching. Scritch. Creak. Scritch. Creak.
Just then, there were flashing lights outside our house. In a few seconds, several firefighters with medical equipment ran up our front steps. It wasn’t an ambulance, but they’d gotten here fast, at least.
“What’s the problem here? We were informed of a nonresponsive patient?” The fire chief barked.
“Yes, sir!” I pointed at Sarah. “She’s not responding at all, she’s just sitting there rocking back and forth! I’m worried she had…I don’t even know, a brain aneurism or something.” I babbled anxiously, then stood against the wall as the firefighters hurried over and began examining her. She was still rocking back and forth in time with the wreath.
Fear and anger suddenly warred in my gut, and I glared over at the wreath. That stupid thing was still scratching away in time with Sarah’s rocking chair, and I knew suddenly that I had to get rid of it. I marched over and grabbed the wreath to rip it right off the door. Suddenly, Sarah bolted upright with a shriek.
“Don’t you dare touch my wreath!”
I yelled and whirled around.
“Sarah! What happened?” I looked frantically at the fire chief. “Is she ok? What’s going on?”
Sarah stared at me for a moment, then spoke jerkily, as if she’d forgotten how words worked. “I was…deep in…though. No. Yes. Thought. I was thinking thoughts. I did not hear you.”
She cocked her head, then advanced on me slowly. “I said. Don’t. Touch. My. Wreath.”
I realized I still had my hand on the wreath, and I let go hastily, backing away as I stared at her. What had come over her? I glanced over at the chief, who looked slowly from me to the wreath, then at Sarah. The faces of all the firefighters suddenly stiffened, and they stood up straighter, staring dead ahead without moving. The chief spoke in a low monotone.
“This is not unusual at all. Do not touch the wreath. In the future, there is no need to call for help. This is normal.”
As one, they all whirled around and filed out the door. As they stepped outside, each one relaxed his shoulders slightly and seemed to walk more naturally. The chief was the last to leave, and after he passed through the front door, he called over his shoulder.
“Sorry for bothering you, ma’am! Nice wreath, I have one just like it at home.”
I stared after them in horror and confusion as they left, and then Sarah wrapped her arms tight around my middle and whispered in my ear.
“I am sorry you were scared by my actions. Come into the kitchen, let us eat some food.”
Even if the words were kind, my skin crawled at her unnatural cadence and speech. Even so, I let her lead me into the kitchen and started working on supper. Maybe I was overthinking things. If the firefighters said she was fine, wasn’t she fine? Sure, they’d also been acting strange, but I didn’t want to think about that.
I could still hear the wreath scratching against the door, and it seemed louder now that the firefighters were gone. Scritch. Scritch. Scritch. But I tried to ignore it; I didn’t know what else I could do. I’d already upset Sarah and made a fool of myself. And besides, why was I getting so worked up over a decoration? I told myself the noise would soon fade into the background, and I could forget all about it.
Except, it didn’t. Over the following weeks, the scratching got louder and more persistent, and I felt like I barely slept. And Sarah’s behavior just got weirder. Every time I would get near the front door, she bolted upright and stared at me, following me with her eyes until she was satisfied I wasn’t going near her wreath. She claimed she never realized she was acting strange, and just laughed it off as if she was daydreaming or zoning out. But the way her eyes followed me…well, it was like nothing I’d ever seen before. And all the while, the wreath continued its persistent scratching against our door.
A few weeks ago, the time for spring cleaning finally came. It’s always my job to inspect the roof and clean the gutters, so I got the ladder out of the garage and went to work. Once I finished cleaning the gutters, I gathered all my tools and carefully set them on our front porch. Sarah was inside cooking, and she wasn’t watching me while I was outside. Now was my chance.
I walked over to the wreath and grabbed it to throw away with the rest of the junk I’d pulled out of the gutters. But as soon as I lifted the bottom of the wreath away from the door, I froze in shock. There was a scream from inside the house, but I barely registered it. I knew the wreath had been scratching our door, but I hadn’t expected this. The paint was chipped and peeled, but it was strange looking, and it almost seemed like the branches had scratched a pattern into the door. I peered closer at the grooves and lines in the wood. Were those…runes?
“NOOOOOOOO!” Sarah burst out the front door, snarling and spitting like a cat. “GET! AWAY! FROM! IT!”
I backed up frantically, trying to ward her off, and she stopped just a few feet away from the door, teeth bared as she glared at me. I stumbled over the ladder and fell on my back. The next moment, she hurried to my side.
“Oh, honey! Are you hurt? What happened?”
I stared up at her in shock. This was the same old Sarah I had known for years, caring for me even if I’d only tripped. Mutely, I shook my head. It was all too much.
“No, I’m fine. Just fell, that’s all. Let me store the tools, then I’m gonna go inside and take a shower.”
As I staggered to my feet and took everything to the garage, my mind was racing. Had those really been runes scratched on our door? And why, why was Sarah so obsessed with protecting that wreath? It was almost as if she sensed when I was near it, even if she was in another room. And her mood swings and forgetfulness were really starting to worry me. Maybe we needed to look into therapy.
I shoved the ladder against the wall and made a silent vow. I was done with the wreath. I didn’t want to look at it, see it, or hear it scratching anymore. It wasn’t going to stay on our front door any longer than I could help. But I would have to wait for an opportunity when Sarah was gone.
That opportunity took a little longer than I anticipated, but a couple weeks later, I got home from work early to find that she’d run to the store for groceries. As soon as I shucked my work gear, I went to the front door, smiling grimly.
“This is it for you, old boy,” I said to the wreath, and I tilted it up slightly, looking at the scratches underneath it. My phone buzzed in my pocket. Sure enough, they really were runes, and it looked like there were more of them this time. My phone buzzed again. Impatiently, I answered it without looking to see who it was, still staring at the strange runes.
“Hel-”
“LEAVE IT ALONE!” Sarah shrieked on the other end of the line. “I KNOW WHAT YOU’RE DOING, DON’T TOUCH IT!”
Startled, I pulled my phone away from my ear and stared at the wreath. This was too much. I deliberately hung up on Sarah, cutting her off mid-shout, and put my phone back in my pocket. It started buzzing immediately, but I ignored it.
“Alright, wreath, you’ve caused enough trouble. You’re going in the burn pile.”
I grabbed the wreath and tried to pull it off the door, but sharp thorns bit my hands. I whipped my hands away and growled an oath, feeling my fingers throb from the small punctures. I didn’t know this thing had thorns. But at this point, I didn’t care.
I gripped it again, ignoring the stabbing pain in my hands, and yanked. But the wreath didn’t come off the door. It must’ve been caught on a nail or something. Frowning, I tilted it up and looked at the top of it, twisting and yanking as I did. But the wreath still didn’t come off. I twisted harder, trying to see what it was caught on, when I suddenly gasped in shock.
The top of the wreath was fused to our door. The branches and cute decorations dug right into the wood, and it was almost impossible to tell where wreath ended and door began. Frantically, I began to twist and pull at it, trying to break the wreath free, but it was like trying to break a strong, healthy branch from a tree. It bent, but it wouldn’t snap, no matter what I tried.
Half-mad with frustration and confusion, I raced to the garage to find a hammer or axe. Just then, Sarah’s car careened around the street corner, skidding across our grass before running over the mailbox. She leaped out when the car was still in motion and raced up the driveway, yelling shrilly at me and bristling with rage.
“STAY BACK! You’d better not hurt it!”
I held up my hands placatingly.
“Easy, honey, I was just looking at it. You’ve really got it wedged in the door, you know that?”
“I don’t care.” She spat. “You need to leave it alone! Get out of the garage, I don’t want you near those tools! Out!”
We stared at each other for a long, long time. Her voice was like the old Sarah I knew, and her cadence wasn’t so strange. But now, even the regular Sarah was obsessed with the wreath. Finally, I nodded. I’d made my decision. I went in the house through the garage door, and when Sarah turned around for a moment, I slammed and bolted it shut, then raced to the front door and locked it too. We had two deadbolts on our doors, so even if she tried the key, she couldn’t get it open.
To my surprise, Sarah didn’t shout or even try to unlock the doors. I peeked out the window, and she’d returned to her car, parking it in the driveway where she could see both doors. And she just sat there.
Almost immediately, the wreath started scratching at the wood again, but faster this time. Scritch. Scritch. Scritch. Scritch. I listened for a few minutes, but nothing else happened. Finally, I decided to eat and try to sleep. I didn’t watch what Sarah did; she could sleep in the car for all I cared, but I wasn’t letting her back inside the house. When I went to bed late that night, the wreath just kept up that incessant scratching. Its grating sound dug deep, filling all my dreams like icy claws slowly skittering down my spine. I barely slept at all.
It's been two days now, and I haven’t left the house since. The scratching sound is driving me crazy, but the fear of what the wreath might be doing is even worse. I’m sitting here in our rocking chair typing this out, but it’s very difficult, especially with the maddening sounds and my pounding headache. But I had to share this.
I don’t know what the wreath’s plan is, but I don’t care. This morning when I woke up, I found small wood shavings on the inside of our front door, and I could see tiny bits of roots poking through little holes. Even worse, when I looked out the window, Sarah had moved from the car to the front porch. She’s just sitting there with her arms wrapped around her knees, staring up at the wreath. Like a little child waiting for Santa.
Part of me wants to take an axe from the garage and smash that stupid wreath to splinters. Even if I have to bust the whole door down, I want to do it. I know Sarah won’t be happy, but I don’t care.
But even the thought of moving is difficult now, and part of me just wants to sit here in this rocking chair. My headache just won’t go away, and I’ve found the only thing that helps is to gently rock back and forth. It’s nice listening to the creaking of the chair, and it almost seems to make the scratching sound less painful.
I know I shouldn’t, but all I want to do is sit here, listening to the gentle sounds of the rocking chair and the wreath.
Scritch. Creak. Scritch. Creak. Scritch. Creak.
X
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2023.03.25 21:15 Ecstatic-Access6828 The realm for the sleepless

There is a saying that if you light three candles near your bed, place a mirror near you, and hold on to your dearest belonging you can transport to the dimension of the sleepless. However, this only works when the sky has reached its darkest color, and you can't fall asleep. While in bed you're supposed to think of a tranquil scenery, or maybe a beautiful memory, whatever calms you as you must be mentally prepared before entering the new realm. Once you enter a trance-like state, you find yourself drifting in a pitch-dark portal without gravity or any form of matter other than you. Whatever you do you MUST NOT fall asleep. Your visit ends when the sun rises, then you are sent back to your dimension. You are NOT to sleep until you are sent back or you'll be stuck here forever
As an insomniac, I was sure the last part wouldn't happen to me, no way would I fall asleep. I've been depressed for a while, I don't go out much and neither am I able to sleep before the sun rises. Life has been quite mundane, I have nothing to lose at this point. So my boredom led me to try this ritual above that my friend told me about. I wasn't too excited, nothing excited or pleased me anymore but for some reason, I was drawn to try this particular thing.
I tried it out, I grabbed my dearest possession, the necklace given to me by my grandma who passed away two years ago. My grandma was the only one who ever truly cared about me. While in bed I thought of a memory of my grandma feeding me her homemade food. That was the last that I had been happy. It was pitch dark, completely silent. I didn't feel scared. Soon I felt more and more relaxed after thinking about granny. And then I entered the portal.
I was floating, I couldn't believe it worked. After a few minutes, I reached my destination. "The world of the sleepless" I thought to myself. As I opened my eyes, I noticed my room, but it looked different, the walls had this gross blood-like fungus on them along with plants that had sharp teeth. The room looked completely dilapidated. As I tried walking away, the bloodthirsty plants locked me as their target. They showed off their teeth as I stepped near them. Soon I was greeted with footsteps, slow and steady. A tall figure lurked behind me. I could feel its loud breathing near my ear. I turned back to see a figure with no eyes, It looked dark and hollow there. It was thin, its body looked as if it already started rotting. Its hair was filled with that blood-like fungus. I looked closer to see some wrinkles and a big long grin. "Granny is that you? I barely recognized you." I shouted with tears in my eyes. "Yes honey," she said with a smile on her face. "I missed you so much, It's so nice to see you again," I said as I hugged her tightly.
I backed off and started observing my surroundings, something felt a bit off. "Granny is this real?" I asked. "It is," she said giggling.
Together we visited the place, we were laughing and sharing old anecdotes. It felt utterly bliss. I told her about my school and current life, time passed by so fast. Before I knew it the sun rose and I drifted away from my sweet grandma back to my cruel reality. Everything really sucked.
But from that day I would visit her every night. And it was amazing. I could barely wait to see her again in the mornings. This time while visiting, I planned to fall asleep and stay there forever, I even took sleeping pills in advance. I wanted to get stuck there, my life in my dimension had lost its meaning to the point that nights were the only thing worth living for. Then went I to her and we talked for hours. "Grandma you remember the last gift you gave me? I still have it" I said. She looked confused, I could sense something was deeply wrong. "The teddy bear, I still have it." I lied, ( it was a necklace). "You also gave a necklace, passed down from generation to generation. what color was it again?" I asked thinking no way she would have forgotten this. "It was blue honey," she said. (it was white). "You are not my grandma, are you? Who really are you then?" I asked with goosebumps. She looked pale white. I felt scared, I wanted to run away but I felt myself falling asleep. Everything started looking blurry. She noticed I was almost asleep and stared at me with a long sinister grin.
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2023.03.25 21:11 PerpetualTire Is there someone I could call for this? 😭 There’s a store near me and every time I’m there the GM is closing by himself.

When I’ve asked him he just tells me his workers call out on the daily and he’s been told he can’t fire them. He said he fired the whole night crew when he started a few months ago because they never showed up, but everyone he hires just refuses to show up or do their job now. He said this is the first store he’s worked at that is like this and he’s stuck there. When I asked about his DM he said it’s a lost cause because they refuse to help him. I work in fast food myself but I’m not anywhere near GM, I can’t imagine working 80hrs a week and not getting paid for it. Is there not anything or anyone I could speak to? The store always has angry customers because he’s doing it alone and isn’t allowed to close early apparently. It can’t be a good look for the company. Has anyone else experienced anything like this before?
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2023.03.25 19:56 samtheman0105 Truly human chapter 9

I sincerely apologize for the wait, school really has been a lot. I would give a time for when to expect the next chapter, but even I don't know when that'll be. For now, enjoy!

first/previous
—————————————————————
Memory transcript subject: Jacob McNeal, Human Liberation Front, Eastern American cell
Standardized human time: January 5th, 2057
“You’d better have a damn good destination in mind!” I heard Emily yell from the back as I sped down the road. “Don’t worry, I do!” I replied, pushing the gas down as hard as it would go as I saw another group of federation vehicles approaching from in front of us, while the ones behind us slowly got closer. I narrowed my eyes as I kept a straight course right towards the incoming federation trucks. We got closer. And closer. And closer, before…
“HOLD ON!” I yelled back towards Emily before swerving the steering wheel to the right, damn near tipping the van over as it narrowly avoided the speeding feds. Still, it managed to stay up, allowing me to get around them. To make things better, I heard a loud crash behind us. I looked in the mirror to see a mess of mangled vehicles. They’d crashed into the ones chasing us, just as I’d hoped.
I let out a laugh as I sped away, while I could hear Emily cursing and yelling in the back. She had to have been thrown around quite a bit in that little stunt. “I HATE YOUR FUCKING PLANS JACOB!” She yelled. It only made me laugh more as I turned onto a dirt road.
It wasn’t long before the ships and sirens chasing us faded away. For all their technological prowess, the federation always struggled to track us into the wilderness. If there was anywhere that was safe enough to turn on that radio we’d just risked our lives for, it would be out here. I slowed to a stop as I came upon the hidden truck that command had stashed as our getaway if the convoy heist would’ve gone as planned. I couldn’t believe I forgot about it until now, but it wouldn’t have helped us all that much. They were always full of supplies, but notably no radio. We weren’t exactly expected to lose the one we had
“How’d you like that?” I asked as I went around the back to check on Emily and help her out. “I’m not Miles, but I think that was pretty good…” I trailed off as I opened the door to see… two occupants. I recognized the cowering figure in the blue uniform behind Emily as Private Cooper. “You drive like a madman, I didn’t have the chance to get rid of him.” Emily said casually as she stepped out, dragging the trembling private along with her. “I’d much prefer it if we had Miles driving.”
“You couldn’t just toss him out?!” I yelled in frustration, grabbing the private’s other arm as we dragged him from the truck. He was shaking, and by the looks of it, too scared to fight back. Not that he would be able to win. “Like I said, you drive like a madman!” She said back. “When I was about to toss him we got thrown back, and by then I had to focus on not getting shot!”
“I- fine, fine” I said as we shoved him against a tree. “Let’s just shoot him then.” I replied casually, which got me a scared whimper from our hostage, and a sigh from Emily. “I knew you’d say that, but he’s harmless now, look at him.” She said, motioning to the rather pathetic sight in front of us. And to think this thing considered itself human. “Maybe we could keep him alive for a bit? Trade him if we find out the federation got any of the others, yknow? Either that or let him go, we won’t be staying here long.”
As much as I liked the idea of a hostage trade, I had a feeling that wouldn’t work. “Yeah, because they always love to negotiate with savage beasts like us.” I said sarcastically, taking a step towards the trembling Cooper. Emily put a hand on my shoulder before I could get too close. I sighed in frustration. “They wouldn’t listen to us Emily! You know that!”
“We can’t just kill him, he's harmless.” She said calmly, stepping between me and him. “Just… let’s keep him for a little, maybe he’ll be useful, alright? If nothing else we can get some info out of him, and it’ll show that maybe they’re wrong about us if we let him go.” I sighed, but relented. She had a bit of a point. As much as I wanted to kill him, he might be useful for something. Even if that something was just showing that we aren’t as ruthless as they like to make us out to be. “Fine, fine, but we’re keeping him tied up” I replied.
“I wasn’t going to let him roam free.” She said, turning around and grabbing the trembling private. “Chin up, private Cooper!” I said with a very exaggerated smile. “Emily here has just saved your life! If you cooperate, I might not shoot you.” He only gave a frightened whimper, and with that, I went to go digging around the trunk of our old getaway vehicle. I mumbled to myself as I looked for some rope. I knew we had to have some somewhere.
“Medkit, rations… ah, rope!” I said to myself as I dug it out from beneath an extra sleeping bag. If only these things had radios I thought to myself. Once I pulled out the rope I went back to Cooper and tied him up to a tree, while Emily kept him from running. The private still never said a word, which was perfectly fine by me. I still wouldn’t mind killing the uncanny little shit, but Emily had been convincing enough. He’d talk later.
“Well,” I said as I tightened the rope, tugging on it to make sure he couldn’t run. “If you don’t mind taking the first watch, I’d like to get some rest.”
“Works for me, you’ve got four hours” she said as we walked back to the stolen van to move the radio. “So do you when I’m up, then we get to work” I replied, opening the back of the van and climbing inside. I passed the radio to her without another word before shutting the door. The van wasn’t the most comfortable place to sleep, but after the night we’d have I’d take any rest I could get. I rested my head on my bag as I laid down, and quickly drifted off to sleep.
My dreams often weren’t very pleasant, and this early morning nap was no exception. Even the good dreams were bittersweet, knowing I’d never get to really live them. A normal life just wasn’t something I’d be able to have, all because of the federation. Those dreams of spending time in a crowded pub, drinking and singing into the night with friends, walking down the street without being shot by a trigger-happy exterminator, it was all fantasy. Impossible. All because of my natural eyes and diet.
This dream wasn’t too different from those. I was sitting at a table in a noisy bar, a glass of whiskey in my hand. Emily, Mikhail, Alex, Miles, they all sat around me. For once, we just talked. Not about our hatred for the federation, not about what command would have us doing next, we just… talked about life. It was as if the federation never found Earth all those years ago. It was the life I wished I could have.
Of course, it was just a dream, and dreams don't last forever. I awoke to the door opening as Emily came inside, shaking me awake. “Get up, your turn.” I groaned, grabbing my cap and putting it on as I sat up. It was my grandfather's old flat cap, one he’d worn doing the same things I now do. Then my father wore it. And now I do.
Even if all this fighting and resisting is futile, at least I can say I’m carrying on a legacy. I thought to myself.
“Yep, moving” I said, standing up and heading towards the door. Despite the relatively short rest, I still felt much better than I did before. Any rest was welcomed, who knew that hours of hiking and fighting takes a lot of you. “Has Cooper said anything?” I asked, stopping at the door as Emily laid down.
“Private wide-eyes has been quiet, thankfully” she said while taking off her boots. “Hasn’t tried to draw any attention here, I think he knows that nobody would hear him.”
“Good, have you asked him about the others? If they captured any? Where they might be?” I asked, putting a hand on the door. “I thought I’d leave that to you.” She said, tossing both boots to the side. “Yep, leave it to me… I’ll get answers, fill you in when you're up” I said with a sigh before finally closing the door. The morning sun was beginning to shine through the trees as I walked over towards the hidden getaway vehicle and sat down against it, right across from the tied up Cooper. He looked like shit.
“Hey private” I said. He looked up weakly. His large eyes were red, and it looked like he’d been crying. “You remember what I said earlier?” I asked, stifling a yawn as I spoke.
“You… wouldn’t kill me if I cooperate…” he mumbled dryly, barely audible. “Correct.” I said, standing up and opening the back of the vehicle. “Now, if you answer my questions, not only will I let you run back to your federation once my friend and I leave, I might even give you some water, I’m sure you haven’t had anything since we arrived here.”
A small amount of hope flashed in his eyes as I produced a small bottle from the getaway truck before walking towards him. “All yours if you talk, so… did the ESB capture any people with… predator disease like myself? Smaller eyes and all?” I asked, opening up the bottle and taking a small sip. I never liked the term predator disease, it implied that something was wrong with me, but I had to say it in a way he’d understand.
Maybe we should start saying that these abominations have prey disease. I thought to myself while waiting for an answer.
“Y- yes…” the private said. “T- two… a- a third got away, but they’re looking for him...” I frowned at the new information. They did get the others, at least two of them, and given that he said the third was a he, they got Alex, along with either Miles or Mikhail. That was two accounted for, but two captured was two too many. “Good, see? Not so hard, here” I said, walking up to him and holding the open bottle up to his dry lips so he could get a drink. He quickly gulped down a couple sips before I pulled it away. He strained against the ropes binding him, trying to get more.
“Now now” I started, shaking the bottle just out of reach in front of his face. “I’ve got a few more questions. '' He lowered his head, but didn’t say anything. I smirked before I continued. “Where did they take them?”
“I- I don’t know… p- please, don’t hurt me, I don’t know!” He said, a bit too loud for my liking. “I won’t hurt you if you quiet down, and answer my questions.” I said, taking a few more sips from the bottle, to taunt him more than anything else. “But you’d better give me some kind of answer if you want more water, I know you’ve gotta know something.” He whimpered as he looked at the now half empty bottle in my hand. It was downright pathetic honestly.
“Th- the captured diseased were t- taken to a secret facility, th- the best federation scientists are there…” he said, swallowing nervously before continuing. “I- I don’t know where it is, j- just that it was west of the road you attacked on…”
I wasn’t completely happy with that answer, but he seemed genuine enough. These things generally sucked at lying. I walked forward and gave him more water, pulling it back again to ask my last question. “Alright Cooper, final question” I said, staring him right in his big, beady eyes. “Why were they captured and not killed? None of us have ever been captured before.”
More fear flashed in his eyes when I asked that question. “I- I can’t tell you that…” he said, averting his gaze towards the ground. I sighed in annoyance before starting to walk around him. Though I didn’t show it, I was pretty surprised at his response. I never expected him to refuse to answer with how scared he looked. “Cooooooper…” I said, drawing out his name as I slowly made a circle around him. “You were doing so good, don’t you remember what I said? You won’t get hurt as long as you answer me” I replied as I took out my knife, flashing it in front of him. “Do you want to try that again? Or should I start taking fingers?”
Another frightened whimper left him, and he began shaking. “I- I… C- Captain Perkins said this was top secret, th- that nobody could know, especially you diseased…” he said, which only elevated my annoyance to anger. This things agency was probably torturing my friends I’d known for years, my comrades I’d fought side by side with, and he still had the gall to refuse to answer me?
“I’ll give you this, Private Cooper” I said, walking behind him and grabbing his shaking hand, holding his ring finger out as I lightly pushed my knife against it. “You’re braver than you seem, I'm impressed.” He began to panic as I started to slowly slide the knife across his finger. It didn't cut through the skin, but if I went any long it would. “Ok! W- wait, d- don’t! I’ll tell you!” He said, to which I pulled my knife away and got in front of him, still holding the blade in clear view. “Then spill it.”
He still hesitated, but one glare from me got him to talk. “A- a predator species… th- the federation, they’ve found a sentient predator species… th- they want to understand them, b- but there have never been sentient predators before… p- predator disease was the next best option for study…”
I paused, my anger replaced first by shock, then by growing happiness. I couldn’t help but let a smile form across my face. A real smile, not a malicious grin put on to scare Cooper. A real, genuine smile. “See, not so hard.” I said as my anger started to dissipate, letting him gulp down the last of the water.
“A predator species… another predator species…” I said out loud to myself, still smiling. Maybe they could help us if we warned them before the federation slipped them the cure. Maybe that life I dreamed of was really possible in some way. I looked back at the tied up Cooper to see him silently crying with his head down. “You… you weren’t supposed to know that…” he whined, tears streaming down his face. “Th- they knew you would be happy, th- that you’d want to help them devour and enslave us all!”
I sighed, and for once, felt a little bad for him. The federation brainwashing ran so deep, he didn’t even know what he really was. Well, what he was supposed to be. “Oh if only you knew” I said, shaking my head before leaning forward so I could look him in the eyes. “Your ancestors were predators, in fact they looked a lot more like me then they did you.”
“Y- You don’t know what you’re talking about, you’re sick! Diseased! Th- they say predator disease warps the mind, but I didn’t know it was this bad!” He said, more tears streaming down his face. I sighed and straightened up, but stopped one last time before going to get my rifle. “Maybe Emily’s right… somewhere deep in there, maybe you’ve still got some predator in you.” With that, I left the private alone with his thoughts and went to watch for any Feds. I needed to process the existence of another predator. We weren’t alone. For the first time ever, humanity wasn’t alone!
The next couple hours were rather uneventful while I gave Emily the rest she needed. I lazily patrolled in a circle around our little camp while I counted down the hours until it was time to wake her up, only stopping to snack on some of the rations from the getaway vehicle. I even found some wild blueberries growing nearby for Cooper. I had a feeling that he wouldn’t exactly enjoy the beef jerky I was eating.
I got up from picking the berries and began walking back towards the vehicles. The sun was out now, and it would soon be time to wake up Emily. She’d be as excited about this revelation as I was. I was still struggling to process it, another predator species… we needed to get this back to command, if we were fast enough maybe we could warn them and save these fellow hunters from the same fate that befell humanity.
“Got you some snacks Cooper” I said cheerfully as I approached the still restrained hostage. I’d moved the ropes a little bit so he could sit down, but I still wasn’t letting him go. “Here” I said, holding out the berries so he could eat them. He was clearly still scared of me, but he accepted the food, eating out of my hand like an animal. Much like with the water earlier, he hadn’t eaten anything since he ended up with us. “Don’t look too down,” I said with a wide smile. “We’ll be letting you go soon! Emily was convincing enough, killing you wouldn't do anything.”
Cooper stayed silent, even when I patted him on the shoulder as I stood up. Emily had her four hours of sleep, it was time to wake her up. I couldn’t wait to tell her everything. I walked around the van and was about to open the door before I heard a twig snap behind me. Swiveling around, I swung my rifle from my shoulder and aimed it near the trees where I heard the sound. I didn’t see anything. “Emily, get up I think we have company” I said, knocking on the back door to wake her. I didn’t wait for confirmation that she was awake before I started walking towards the source of the sound, my rifle aimed at the spot. It could’ve just been an animal, but…
I suddenly felt a sharp prick on my neck, causing me to stumble a few steps. I hissed in pain and reached up, feeling a small object sticking out of my neck. I pulled it out, looking it over as I tried to figure out what it was. Realization hit me at the same time as its effects. It was a tranquilizer dart, which could only mean... I swayed from side to side as I began to feel dizzy. I wanted to yell a warning to Emily, but I was quickly fading. Before I could get a word out, I fell to the ground, and it all went dark.
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2023.03.25 19:36 dogglesnake ChocoPro 302 🍫 Third Anniversary Special: Monsters, Doppelgangers, and a Special Rumble! Join us at 11 pm EDT, Live & Free on YouTube!

ChocoPro 302: Three Years From a quick solution during the pandemic to the world’s smallest promotion, ChocoPro has reached it’s third Anniversary. The best way to celebrate, as always, is with violence! Join us for a late night snack of chaos. The Comaneci Gang recruits Miya once more to face off in a Monster Mash with UMA, CDK battles Warm Caterpillars despite Mei being in America, and the unpredictable Ichigaya Rumble returns to mark the Special Day! Let’s Go, ChocoPro!
🍫 CLICK HERE FOR THE LINK! Something Comaneci (Tokiko “Otoki” Kirihara & Antonio Honda) & Miya Yotsuba VS UMA+ (Sayaka Obihiro, KOJIO, & Tiger Jeet Shinjuku), CDK (Chris Brookes & Masa Takanashi) VS Warm Caterpillars? (Ken Ohka & Chie Koishikawa), and the Third Anniversary Rumble! It airs TONIGHT at 11 pm EDT / 8 pm PDT (Tomorrow at 3 am GMT, 12 pm JST). Live and Free on YouTube!
Don't forget to Adjust Your Volume, Wrestling is Loud!
Change the stage, escape the normal! ChocoPro is built different. Find out why wrestlers like it so much: Find a new home on the bleeding edge. (This is not your regular wrestling show.) Join us for this episode, or check out the back catalog of 17 wonderful Seasons on the Gatoh Move ChocoPro YouTube channel...260+ episodes with stories and pro-wrestling like you've never seen. New to the promotion? It features a roster of skilled veterans, rising stars, and wonderful guests fighting in the ChocoPro Arena: Ichigaya Chocolate Square. Subscribe for more content than just the live matches! (AEW Watch Alongs, Discussions, Interviews, Food Challenges, etc) Even if you can't catch it live, don't sweat it! It will still be available on the channel.

Something Comaneci (Tokiko “Otoki” Kirihara 💃 & Antonio Honda 🍯) & Miya Yotsuba 🍀

VS

UMA+ (Sayaka Obihiro 💙, KOJIO 💀, & Tiger Jeet Shinjuku 🐯)

Monster Mash

To say the “Something” Comaneci gang (Antonio Honda & Tokiko “Otoki” Kirihara) are strange is a bit of an understatement. These two are entirely unpredictable, bringing absurd comedy and slapstick violence to each of their matches (with the occasional shockingly clean tag technique). It helps that when Anton isn’t singing (or hitting you with any prop he can find) he’s got solid fundamentals and a ton of classic wrestling techniques. Otoki on the other hand is one of the most straightforward characters in the promotion: a merciless striker with a knack for throws. Her brutality is increased dramatically when paired with Anton, since they’re willing to flat out break the rules. She also loves COMANECI! Rookie Powerhouse Miya Yotsuba has been turned to the Darkness by them in the past. The power focused, goblin trained “Ichigaya’s Lucky Charm” is usually a crowd favorite, but will she have fallen back into the Comaneci Gang’s ways? What schemes are these odd villains up to? How will the Strangers handle fighting Monsters? This one is gonna get weird.
Sayaka Obihiro is a joy to watch in ChocoPro, with her deep sense of humor and lightning quick striking & pinning techniques...but she is a bit...different...when she teams with Monsters. After a bizarre series of events, Obi has aligned with what she fought against (for ten years)! Normally, when Obi isn't chopping the life out of someone so hard that it sounds like a car door slamming, she is pulling off some of the best feats of nimbleness you've ever seen. The insanely charismatic full time chef has got a great set of flame gear and an incredibly intense style. Even if she’s gone feral, you'll find yourself enchanted by her brash nature and wild antics! Strange and occult happenings are somewhat common in Ichigaya, and the mysterious organization known as UMA features many monsters that just so happen to wrestle! Obi has brought with her the fierce beast Tiger Jeet Shinjuku! Much like Kappa Kozo, this unknown creature is unpredictable and deadly! The jungle cat humanoid was known for some of the best gifs in Season 10. Watch out for those claws! Be prepared for [REDACTED by order of UMA]. Monsters from across the world are attracted to ChocoPro due to their influence...(You should see what is happening over at SETUP!) Speaking of which, a cold wind brings a shadow over Ichigaya once again! Hailing from Parts Unknown and trained at the Nightmare Factory (which makes even more sense given that sinister look!), kojio’s frightening presence made him fit right in with the other Monsters of UMA. With brawling brutality, vicious submissions, and an absolutely wicked set of gear that makes him look like a character straight from a graphic novel, kojio scares his opponents and impresses the audience with his relentless nature and bone chilling aura. That laugh is something else! This unstoppable monster has been a wonderful addition to Ichigaya, but how long will he accept Obi taking pinfalls? I wouldn’t want to upset him!

CDK (Chris Brookes 🐙 & Masa Takanashi 🍶)

VS

Warm Caterpillars? (Ken Ohka 🤠 as May Suruga & Chie Koishikawa 🏵️)

Warm Caterpillars?

The Calamari Drunken Kings (Chris Brookes & Masa Takanashi) have been untouchable as the Asia Dream Tag Champs. These two demolished teams across the globe, bringing further glory to the purple belts in their own corrupted version of “Belt Days”. Brookes wields a grim technical style and monstrous presence that demoralizes his opponents long before he’s got them tapping out. His incredible reach and explosive movements make him a major threat at all times. Chrissy B’s partner is just as dangerous though...beware the belt collecting Counter-Fighter! Masa’s laid back personality and reversal style might make him seem overly passive, but the Drunken Monkey can show seamless aggression when he needs to. His crisp technique and general fluidity pair well with the Tsundere Submission Specialist’s sadistic skill set. While this isn’t a bout for the titles, they will be looking to once again put down Chie Koishikawa...but how can they be fighting Warm Caterpillars? Mei is in America! Regardless, CDK will be more than happy to remind them of the Brutality of Reality.
The Warm Caterpillars are together once again...or are they? Mei Suruga & Chie Koishikawa are a one of a kind team! This charisma volcano of cheerful goblins will evoke a lot of different emotions out of you, but you’ll definitely want to see more. Someone that calls themselves the Apple Girl ”May Suruga” (Ken Ohka) will be providing surprising agility and power with the Aerial Striking & Reversals of the girl with “Too Much Energy”. While this May might be a bit different than you are used to, the crowd (and the online audience) always gets behind the Lover of Chocolate. This Doppelganger has even been acknowledged by the real thing! May will be paired with Mei’s frequent friend and rival this time. Chie Koishikawa is the “Ace of the Fourth Generation”, known for Extreme Speed and Extreme Charisma. With the her increasing grasp of counters, high flying strikes, that nasty Stretch Muffler, and even her flash pin “Energy Hold”, Chie will hold up her end of the team. But how will these two get along? Will Chie even realize that isn’t Mei? Can Ichigaya contain this amount of chaotic energy and fighting spirit?

Third Anniversary Special Rumble

Three Years

Participants: Hagane Shinno, Masa Takanashi, Ken Ohka, Chie Koishikawa, Miya Yotsuba, Sayaka Obihiro, Tokiko Kirihara, Antonio Honda, KOJIO...almost everyone from the earlier matches!
Delayed Entry Battle Royals, when handled right, can truly show the potential of pro-wrestling. While we’re all familiar with how they can go wrong (and very long), ChocoPro’s unique audience experience amplifies the artistry of the match format. Why? You, the online viewer, are the perspective! You only see what you’re looking at (please imagine the unseen), which leads to crazy situations suddenly reappearing before your very eyes...while you were distracted by something else! Maybe this is what referees feel like on a general basis? Let’s celebrate Three Years of ChocoPro with a completely chaotic match! There is a lot of potential winners in this lineup, but the biggest wildcard is the addition of the Super Asia Champion, Cold Killer Hagane Shinno! What is different about a ChocoPro Rumble? Don’t get pinned, submitted, or thrown out of the 14th Floor window!
Here’s to Three More Years!
Come and see the wild creativity that produced Two of the Seven AEW Women's World Champions! (Both of which have appeared on ChocoPro!) You'll be wondering if you're seeing future champs, as well. ChocoPro is the Frontier of Pro Wrestling! Match after match of hard hitting, chaotic, fun bouts with a friendly online audience. We're quickly growing, and you're welcome to come along!
Here are some Frequently Asked Questions:

“What is this?”

ChocoPro is a free online promotion run by AEW's Emi Sakura, that takes place in the legendary Ichigaya Chocolate Square! It features a steady pace of live Episode releases, fan interaction, season long story arcs, and much more! A place where the turnbuckles are replaced with 14th floor windows, the ropes are often replaced with fans, unforgiving walls provide creative avenues for skills otherwise unthinkable, and you can take solace in knowing that the referees usually do nothing. While it might be a shocking change at first, the intensity and storytelling will leave you wanting more.

“Why are they fighting in ____?”

Short answer is that it is a cost effective, unique venue with a better availability schedule and allows the roster access for training. Emi Sakura has been using this place for a long time, and you might be surprised at some of the names that have used it (even outside of ChocoPro!). There are a few in-ring Episodes and Gatoh Move has in ring shows with crowds on the YouTube channel. Think of it like the Hart Dungeon but as a promotion, if that helps!

”What are the rules?”

While special match stipulations will usually be explained before the respective matches, the general rules of ChocoPro are simple. Pins only count on the Chocolate Mat and are not broken by the edge or Wall. Submissions usually only count on the Chocolate Mat, and ARE broken by reaching the edge or wall (sometimes ceiling...). Double pins and Double submissions are legal (and encouraged) in ChocoPro Tag matches, meaning cohesive teams will always have the advantage! Count Outs only exist if specified, since many matches stray from the comfort of the Chocolate Square into the streets (and the rest of the building itself!) There is a Time Limit for each bout (based on card placement and importance) and the Referee has discretion (even if they tend to do nothing most of the time!). Every Ref is different, some have different levels of bias and speed.

“How can I support them?”

Watch the show! Even if you can't see it live, the views matter! Like & Subscribe! You can join the Channel's membership for different tiers of perks...but also, you can buy single episode Sponsorship, Digital autographed photos, and more on their shop site as well as purchase shirts from PWTees (which features some great options!) If you'd like to donate or purchase a main wall sponsorship, you can via Paypal or Patreon...and don't forget to cheer for your favorites! (especially if you want to do a superchat!)

”How come there aren’t a lot of comments on the threads?”

ChocoPro is a YouTube show, meaning the discourse happens live...in the chat! Those that comment in the threads on here tend to do so in order to help new viewers that might be intimidated by the fast moving chat. Don’t be afraid to just dive in though, the community is friendly.

“Why are you posting this here? / Are you paid for this?”

This is a wrestling forum, and I'm trying to broaden the horizons of others! There is a lot of good wrestling out there...Plus growing the fan base means more people for me to joke around with! I honestly do believe this is what a lot of fans are looking for, even if it is too different for some! But different tastes are good. Variety is the spice of life. This is a labor of love (it really doesn't take that long) considering how much work they do to put on so many shows...for free!
If you have any other questions, feel free to ask me on here or on Twitter, where I’ve been doing this for nearly three years! ChocoPro is Three Years Old!
Season Tracker: We're 2/18 into Season 18! (Each Season is usually around 18 episodes)
submitted by dogglesnake to SquaredCircle [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 19:18 suprememoist5 How would you react if a long time acquaintance confessed their interest in you romantically.

Back Story if it adds anything-
12 years ago met INTP at a work. Both Male. Never hanged out 1 on 1 out side of work but smoked cigarettes together alone in the back of the job and talked. I wasn’t out and nether was him and it never went past an acquaintance. I found him hot, but hot enough were i said, “welp this isnt going work 🤷🏽‍♂️”. Got fired for fighting and left job, avoided going near work place to not see him.
2 years ago in current job I was sitting down not working and of course he walks in and we were introduced. He seemed excited and remembered me.
A week after that I got curious and went on Y’old unmentionable m&m fast food dating app during work and of course, someone 20 feet away. After sending faceless pictures to each other i was confident that was him. He has a bf, i dont pursue it any further. We never actually confirmed to each other that we knew but im sure he knows. I delete the app and continue spiraling about other things.
A few months ago he was transferred to my department, I hate life. Normally im loud and out going but when hes around I kinda don’t want to look stupid and try to look serious and manly and fail. I try to avoid him but have smoke with him again one on one.
He told me he was broke up with his boyfriend but was living with him and has been really stressed out. When we talk it dosnt give off flirting vibes so him telling me this i figured he just needed someone to vent to, but got me thinking 👏 THIS IS MY CHANCE!
Did nothing about it.
Last week he was smoking a vape pen in front of me inside work and i ask him if i can try some. He gave me some, asked me if i like it, then got me one in a bag with chips i like and a protein cookie -i’m swole-
I took this, he must like me! Then remember i can sometimes be delusional so took it as a friendly gesture.
I was watching a video of different personality types and I noticed he shows all the terrible signs of INTP stereotype.
Figured he was shy and maybe he does like me and sucks and showing any feelings. So i go on the that app and send him a message telling how i feel. He hasnt been on in a while but im sure eventually he will open it up.
I didnt want to make him feel uncomfortable so i felt like this was the easiest way to tell him and not make it awkward. I also deleted the app and probably never going to open it up and told him so.
submitted by suprememoist5 to INTP [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 18:45 FiauraTanks Nemo Me Impune Lacessit (FanFic) - Ch. 5

Back First Next
This one is going to be a bit longer because a PM To me suggested I go ahead and do a long Chapter.
I hope you still enjoy. The final piece will be released tomorrow.
Memory Transcription: Captain Neil Campbell, United Nations ‘Black Watch’ Company #4
Date [standardized human time]: December 3, 2136
The company had four mortars, four American M2 heavy machine guns, twelve lighter man-portable machine guns, eight light close in AA guns of 40mm twin, every trooper had a stringer mark 7 light anti-air missile, they had four longer range SAM units, eight orbital interceptors dialed into one computer, and two anti-ship missile launchers. Right at that moment, every single weapon they had was singing a song of death.
The Cheetah would silence the battlefield every time its main railgun fired a slug. Meanwhile the two Eisenhower’s autocannons rained down death upon the Arxur. While the standard rifles, pistols, or light SAW weapons would not necessarily take out a Arxur with non-vital hit; the heavy machine guns the Americans provided did.
The Radios crackled with commands going in all sorts of directions.
"All units, gunship coming through at..." Zim hesitated as he figured the direction and coordinates given by the radar operator moments ago. "7 O'Clock, will crest hill in 1 minute thirty, four man-portables dial in."
"Dial 1." Two seconds later all at once, "Dial 2." from 3 people who quickly corrected to dials 2, 3, and 4. Zim nodded, "Confirmed 4 dials."
"Forty seconds to crest." Called back the radar operator.
Campbell made note of how well Zim was handling their current position despite being a civilian. He had deducted correctly that Zim being Mayor would make them very proficient at communication and coordination, as well as delegation. What Zim had just done in thirty seconds was identify a unassigned gunship, that is one that was not anticipated by the long range missiles, short range AA guns, or anything else and assigned four stingers to it now all pre-trained and waiting for their shot.
Thompson was calling over the radio to coordinate the mortars and machine gun fire before broadcasting to Williams in the Cheetah where she couldn't get fire support to so that the MBT could deliver a couple of devastating shots.
Assigned and targeted gunships popped up at longer range and died before they had a chance to properly stabilize themselves in the atmosphere or just after take off. Fighters swooped down only for lock on and incoming missile warnings to scream at them before their sensors had even adjusted to having ground under them.
The smell of metal, ash, and blood filled the air. Arxur trying to get through the pass found it an impassable death trap. They had never encountered alien races who used barbed wire, much less the sheer volume of mines, and the thing that truly caused the reptiles to fear were the hidden single shot tubes full of deisel fuel mixed with wood glue and then aerosolized before something would ignite the fumes. Watching your comrades incinerated and calls of your enemy to let them burn, had the Arxur shooting their own comrades just to silence their screams.
Arxur field commanders stood in the back, shooting those who turned to run from the frontline while the Black Watch fired on. Their mortars were positioned around the 7 kilometer radius of the inner caldera so that at any point within the caldera or around its brim; three mortars could have rounds flying towards target at any one time. As soon as anyone radioed for support, mortars were flying in their direction, pre-dialed coordinates and ranges meant it only took three seconds for a mortar round to be dialed in and on the way.
The pass into the castle was starting to become clogged with Arxur bodies. But they were making progress, slowly. Campbell counted by this point, that most of his forward foxholes had been destroyed, all of them set alight by their preparations, preventing the Arxur from using them, recovering unreachable wounded humans, or bodies. Anyone who couldn't fall back would rather die fighting and then sending their would be captures or devourers into an inferno with them.
Campbell knew however, he was running out of ground to give and soon he would have to kill soldiers. They may kill a hundred each but they would still fall eventually. He saw his gunner snap back and drop off the side of his command vehicle. A vehicle which was all but disabled now. He moved to him.
Scrambling up the vehicle and pulling the wounded soldier down off the MG mount to the ground, laying him softly against the bullet ridden tire of the rover. He held his hand, "MEDIC! Medic!" Campbell called then turned to his trooper.
Campbell checked the nametag to be sure, Muller. "Muller, Muller." Muller turned his head, his eyes were growing hallow. Campbell looked at the wound, part of his upper chest was just gone. His neck was bleeding as well. There was a lot of blood. Slowly, he watched Muller's light escape his eyes.
That is enough. He returned to a reflection off of the now vacant eyes of Muller. The ridge had figures at the top of it. He snapped looking for Sims, when he couldn't find him, he pulled his radio. "Sims! They’re trying to storm the top of the castle! Grid 7-Bravo. Blow it, now.” he was pointing and screaming at the figures when his cyber arm suddenly jerked and sent him face down into the ground, his helmet rolling off.
On queue, the ridge where a few shadowy figures had appeared turned into a cloud of dust and rubble as a fireball erupted from it, silencing the rest of the battlefield for a few moments. The explosion sent rock, dirt, and mud over the side in an avalanche at the would be mountaineers. Everyone attempting to storm the outside of the caldera at that 50 meter grid would be buried in a coming storm of mountainside.
Campbell reached over and picked up his arm, looking at the cybernetic carefully. He sat up and next to Muller for a moment while making sure the connectors would still be good. His pain registers had shut off as soon as it disconnected. The connector appeared intact, just jerked out of the cybernetic socket by the impact and his body weight as the anchor. The round had only destroyed the outer layer of synth-flesh designed to make it aesthetically pleasing as well as his uniform that had been torn covering it.
He put the arm back in with a twist and it rebooted. His radio barked, “Cannot hold the pass, we need more firepower. Yanks, you're up!”
----------------------
Memory Transcription: Lieutenant Williams, United Nations ‘Black Watch’ Company #4
Date [standardized human time]: December 3, 2136
Williams hated this, he called another target to his gunner and used his command machine gun to put down more rounds through the fraying camouflage around his tank. Tanks were supposed to be mobile bunkers not sitting ducks. Another high caliber plasma round bounced off their shield and their infantryman, Corporal Davies as he was introduced, the soldier turned the oldest M2 anyone had ever seen in the direction it came from.
Large caliber machine gun casings bounced off the hull top as they cascaded passed something scratched onto the side of the M2. It read in smaller and smaller scratches, “France, Philippines, Tunisia, France, Germany, Korea, Vietnam, Grenada, Iraq, Iraq II, Australia, Luna, Mars, The Cradle, Sillis.” The last two were still relatively fresh and easy to read.
“Williams, our forward positions are getting overrun by sheer weight of bodies, you’re up. See you on the other side.” Campbell called to the tank crew and their IFV escorts.
Good, tanks were not made to sit still. What the Arxur were about to find out is that tanks are scary when they are shooting at you but they are even scarier when moving at full speed and still shooting at you extremely accurately.
“Driver, full speed ahead into the pass, put the shield down to scrape the dirt so it will blown any remaining mines; loader, gunner eyes front.” He called out and then clicked his intercom off to switch on his radio, “Ripper 1 and 2, this is War Kitty, on our flank at 5 and 8 o’clock, staggered line fifty meter spread front, twenty to the side.”
That would put the IFVs Fifty meters behind him and twenty meters to each side. This was in case any orbital bombardment got through, even a rod from God would only get 1 vehicle then instead of multiple by the spacing.
A pair of affirmatives came back as the tank rolled forward and broke free of its camouflage to build up speed. Immediately the shield flared as soon as they broke the jungle with every single gun the Arxur had firing at them. Their small interceptor mini-phalanx on top shooting constantly to blow anything bigger than a rifle round out of the sky.
Meanwhile the IFVs pointed at muzzle flashes and sent bursts of .50 cal, 25mm, and 50mm in their direction. One Eisenhower was not a troop transport but strictly a gun platform, carrying a much heavier weapon. The only still used a proven 25mm chaingun.Williams pointed out another target, “Gunner 11, Loader HE.”
“HE Up!” The loader called.
“Sending.”
Williams’s gunner yelled back. The machine guns stopped for a second on the tank and suddenly the turret shuttered as the round was sent, the reward was a hillside that the Arxur were using for cover blowing up in a fireball of red, orange, and black smoke. Arxur body parts, dirt, and debris flying up into the air as the ground was stained with gray’s blood.
Williams wasn't going to hesitate with his ammunition. The nature of the railgun meant that the ammo no longer had large casings of propel behind them. Only the shell head was needed, that meant the tank was packed with four times the ammo of a chemical propellant tank.
The crew worked like a well oiled machine. Every ten seconds another main gun round. Between them, the three fifty’s and the 20mm beside the main gun did not stop shooting unless the gunner signaled.
It was grueling work, exhausting for the loader, mentally wearing for the gunner, forcing Williams to push his mind to the limit and glad for the stimulate that kept fatigue away from his mind. Their driver looking out like a truck driver who had been given too much caffeine but having to keep her jerks to a minimum. The objective was a smooth platform. The three drivers of the armored vehicles coordinating on their own private channel to keep moving through Arxur formations.
An hour passed, the tank rampaged. When they ran out of HE, they used HEAT, when that ran out, they switched to squash. When that ran out, they used the few anti-armor rounds they had brought.
Williams' voice was getting hoarse from calling targets, his hand vibrating from the shake of his command cupola gun. His body vibrated at a different frequency from the rumble of the engine and the quaking of the coaxial weapons.
Suddenly there was a clattering on the roof. Williams recognized it as someone foreign trying to get on the tank. There was clearly some slams against the roof of the tank. "I need help out here!" Davies called over the radio.
There was the distinctive sound of a body crushing under the tank tread that made the crew stop and debate opening the hatch to help. "Davies, what is going on out there? Davies!" Williams called in desperation.
Another few bangs on the room and their machine gunner outside had stopped replying, their shield had failed and rebooted several times, they must have got him with their boarding action. “Raider 2, we’ve got ants and War Kitty does too.”
He checked the shield read out, they had twenty seconds until reboot, twenty seconds to get these Arxur off of them.
Williams swung the turret to look at Raider 2 to see several Arxur attempting to board the tank and get the hatches open. “Raider 2, affirmative. Sorry about your gunner.” He heard the bang of Arxur landing on his hull, likely from the trees around them.
“Proceed with fly swatting, MG only. Gunner, Raider 2 at 7 and a half, full Coax.” The turret swung around, hitting an Arxur and sending him flying into a tree trunk with a sickening crunch before he fell in front of the tank tread. The MBT did not even notice crushing the creature and rolled on beyond the echo of crunching bone against the lower hull, which the loader noticed for a split second.
Pangs and hull tings echoed all around them as the IFV and tank exchanged small arms fire, clearing off their "pest problem" while not doing any significant damage to each other. Williams and his crew did not get time to celebrate.They had been rolling around the outside of the caldera. They moved from Arxur formation to formation; hitting Arxur units as fast as they could then trying to fade away before they could organize a counter attack.
They came back to the Caldera entrance for the fourth time, when they hit one of their own mines. Everyone in the tank was catapulted forward as the track blew off, the drive wheel on the left side seized and the tank nearly flipped, coming to thirty degrees to their right hand side. With a loud unearthly slam, every crew member was thrown to the floor after their heads banged off bulkheads with the whiplash.
Williams felt the ringing in his head, and the unholy headache of a concussion. His vision was fuzzy, he swore he head bells in his ears, his body felt distant; almost as if he were trying to tell his brain to radio control it. He held onto the side of the hull with one hand, trying to stand upon weak and unresponsive legs while his other hand held his aching head, “Status report.”
No one replied. He reached over to his gunner and found his head limp at an unnatural angle. He checked him, his neck was broken clean by the sudden slamming into the bulkhead. Williams ears were ringing, his body wanted to vomit, his eyes couldn’t see straight. He made out the face of his loader, Jenkins. Blood was trickling from his mouth as he laid on the floor in his loader section.
How did I get down here? Williams thought and reached for Jenkins, Jenkins gave a few spasms, spat up some blood and then his eyes glazed over until they were lifeless.
“Jenkins? Jameson? Cleo?” He called out, repeating it again and again tapping the crew intercom on his neck, weakly as he slowly got to his feet. His brain was not processing that his loader and gunner were dead.
“I’m still here.” Cleo answered with her distinctive southern accent. “But fuck, I wish I weren’t.”
His driver was alive but in a separate section from the rest of the crew. “Can… can you move? Fuck, My head.”
There was a loud pang and the feeling of air getting suddenly sucked out of the cabin. Cleo screamed out over the comms and then Williams could hear her heavy breathing. The blurring double vision making it hard to be certain of his movements. It felt like pushing through a heavy lake to get his body to move and his ears rang with the sound of an intense bell.
“Williams, Fuck… sorry Williams, but I can’t now. Damn suspension shaft just ripped through the bottom hull and into my leg.”“Stay where you are, I’ll come get you.”“No Sir, the shaft is impaling my escape hatch and all that racket outside is all Arxur hitting us on the top. Fuck…” Cleo yelled in pain as she tried to shift something.
Williams couldn’t hear the racket she was talking about. He was trying to process the idea that Cleo was hit and his emotions were screaming at him about his now dead loader and gunner. “Sir, set turret control to my station, I’m going to use the guns to cover you and the others. At least, until I bleed out.”“Cleo, we’re it.”
Williams knew saying the words meant his comrades were gone, but emotionally his brain was shut off now.There was a pause on the radio, just a few seconds. Williams slowly reached over and changed the turret control to driver operated.
“Alright, fine, grab your SMG and go out your escape hatch, I’ll hold them off and keep us looking scary. I’ve only got a little bit until I bleed out.”The turret started moving and Williams training kicked in through his concussion. He reached into his personal locker and pulled out the P90 as well as a few magazines and his survival kit, the kicked his escape hatch open out of the bottom of the tank and started to crawl beneath the stricken vehicle.
He kept crawling, heading for the forest, the sound of Arxur shouts and screams as well as gunfire getting quieter and quieter, until finally, Williams felt exhaustion overtake him and blackness closed in.
-------------------------------
Memory Transcription: Captain Neil Campbell, United Nations ‘Black Watch’ Company #4
Date [standardized human time]: December 4, 2136
Raider 2 slowly rolled back down the pass, free of Arxur pursuit. It was in sorry shape to look at. The Anti-Air missile launcher was hanging on by its wiring. The mini-phalanx was gone except the targeting camera which still tried to move the non-existent AMS turret with sparks frying off the frayed wires. The main chain gun barrel was ripped off and what still existed was melted. Seven holes let the night moonlight through.
Both of the tracks had damaged segments that made them rotate around their drive wheels in a funny lopsided pattern. But the IFV rolled back into the silent caldera except for its dying engine. “Raider 2, reporting. Vehicle mission killed.”
Campbell tapped his radio, “Good job, get out and get some food, then get back on the line, your infantry now.”
The Arxur had pulled back after the armour went out and rampaged for an hour. Raider 2 had to wait until darkness closed in to roll back into camp. They had heard the boom of the cannon and sound of the passing armour engines and tracks across the terrain around the caldera. Mortars had provided the armour support fire and now the entire castle smelled of Arxur blood and cordite residue. It was now four hours later and the Arxur hadn’t returned; yet.
The Arxur had not sent in a new wave. Likely in total shock at the armored platoons sudden sally out. Campbell approached the stricken Eisenhower IFV as it rolled to a stop and seemed to break down completely when the engine was shut off.
The crew staggered out, all of them had been wounded to some degree by spalling from their vehicle’s own metal. The flakes and shrapnel generated inside the vehicle from impacts on the outside had done a number on them. But the vehicle had somehow held together. Two of the three staggering figures were trying to carry a fourth trooper out.
Campbell walked over to see Williams with a head injury, one of his feet missing and tourniqueted at the calf as well as two of his fingers ripped off and taped together. “Where are the other vehicles?”
The IFV commander fell to his knees, exhausted after constant combat and adrenaline just broke down crying. The man had enough and couldn’t take anymore. Campbell reached down and slapped his across the cheek, “Oih, stiffen your lip and answer me. We can cry about it later.”
The IFV commander looked up and nodded at the heavy cybernetic arm that had just slammed him. “Sorry sir, just… They’re gone sir. War Kitty took a mine to the tracks, probably one of ours. Raider 1 went down to an ammo explosion, the crew were incinerated instantly. Best I can think sir is that the blow out panels had been welded shut by enemy small arms fire. We found Williams near War Kitty, the Arxur were running from the burning hull, it was still shooting at them.” He took a breath, tears staining his oil and gunpowder covered face.“The gunner must have died and fallen on the turret swing with a death grip on the trigger. We put a missile in her to make sure there was nothing for the scalies to savage.” The commander managed as his crewmates came over and knelt with him while a medic ran off with Williams on a stretcher, followed by a second medic grabbing the stretcher halfway through.
The medics having issues carrying their shotguns and a patient. Aliens don’t play by our rules, medics are still targets to them. Campbell thought to himself as he gave a pat to the IFV commander.“You did excellent, son, you and your crew. So did the rest of your unit. We’ll take it from here.” Campbell tried to use the platitudes to comfort but he knew within an hour those soldiers would be sleeping in a foxhole, with their crew SMGs and sidearms, as well as a helmet just like the rest of his men.
His radio squawked, “Captain, frequency thirteen.”He removed the radio forward several clicks until a shrill deep voice came across it. “Human Commander, respond.”
Campbell recognized it as an Arxur voice and he picked up his radio, “Speaking.” He pulled out his flask and took a swig of the whiskey he kept on his person as he listened.
“We have you surrounded, there is no need to die. We are willing to take you as honorable prisoners with honorable and fair treatment, I assure you. All you have to do—”
“I’m going to stop you, right there. I just watched a pair of glorified armoured lories and a metal assault box rip through your lines and shred your forces to pieces.” He paused and let that sink in, knowing he was insulting his equipment to play up just how badly the Arxur were bloodied.
Campbell continued with this insult tirade, “I heard my recon squad of the lightest infantry I have, wrecked a thousand of you; solid. Listened to it on the radio all while it happened.” He turned to the pass and took a look at the piles of bodies across it and the carnage that looks like something straight out of the Great War more than two centuries ago. Not something he expected to ever see in a modern war.
“I have enough of your bodies to build a replica of Edinburgh Castle out of using them as the mortar.”
“Human! We have you surrounded! This is your chance for mercy! Just surrender your prey to us and yourselves.” Campbell laughed into the radio, “Have you lost your mind; leaf-licking monkey?”
“Not at all, I’m as chipper as can be right now. Listen up, izzard.” He let the name sink in for a second.
“You have us surrounded? Good, we can fire in every direction and hit one of you. You want us? Come and get us.”He flicked the radio off and headed for the medical tent. He needed to hear it from his doc just how many of his troops could fight and how many were not going to last the night or just be dead weight at this point. He also heard they took a few Arxur, alive.
------------------
Memory Transcription: Lieutenant Father Christopher O’Malley , United Nations ‘Black Watch’ Company #4
Date [standardized human time]: December 4, 2136
O’Malley moved to another tarp covering a body that had been recovered. He slowly and silently whispered a prayer, taking the dog tag to give to the medic but using it to get the name and town of origin of the trooper. Taking careful note of the religion and following his training as well as a guidebook for the Catholic, agnostic, or protestant he found. He moved to last one, and finished his prayer.
Campbell was waiting for him at the end of the line of recovered bodies. “Captain.” He said, standing slowly and offering a weary salute. Chris could feel his arm getting tired, he had been going so long and knew he would need a stim to keep up the night.
Campbell saluted back, “Reverend, how bad is it?”
O’Malley looked at the bodies and sighed, “Well, never thought I’d see Clemson die but he did. Dove onto a detonator and set off a satchel charge to take as many as he could before the armour rolled out.” The reverend took out a cigarette and lit it up, taking a long drag from the white paper pipe that took nearly half of it out in one go, then exhausted all his lungs as he let the feeling of euphoria wash over him. The nicotine did its job, steadying his nerves and slowly making his shaking stop. His emotions at all the last rites he had performed starting to defray slowly.
"Father, how many today?" Campbell asked preparing himself. He knew Father O'Malley would have taken note of every time he had done last rites and done a proper headcountting as well.
O'Malley took another drag and nodded, "Thirty-Seven including the Americans who did not come back."
“Father, why do you do it? Why here?” Campbell asked as he took a seat on the ground next to the priest who was still kneeling.
“A shepard is to watch his flock and when the wolves come knocking, send the wolves back to the forest where they belong. With a bloodied nose or broken leg if needed.” O’Malley replied with a soft sigh as he took another drag, the cigarette already starting to come up towards its end.
“And how do you reconcile religion with aliens?” Campbell asked, genuinely curious as to the answer. O’Malley chuckled and pulled the cig from his lips to tap off the ashes, “That ain’t my place to be figurin’. I’m here as the chaplain, higher powers than I determine how we reconcile aliens. My job is to tend to the souls of my flock, seeing as there isn’t an atheist in a foxhole; that has gotten fairly complicated.”
Campbell nodded and pulled his whiskey flask to take another swig. It was down to less than a quarter left. “Captain, no offense but stuff will kill you.”
Campbell smiled at the gallows humour as the reverend chuckled with him for a few moments. “Never change, father.” he spoke as he stood up and started to walk back towards his command tent.
“Aye, aye, captain. Now I’ve got a special case to attend.” Campbell turned towards O’Malley as the chaplain rose and headed into the medical tent.“What’s that reverend?”
“An Arxur asked for a priest.” O’Malley stepped into the tent and headed for where he knew the patient was. It only took a few moments before he arrived at the side of the bed. The Arxur was handcuffed and collared to the cot. Both of his legs were blown off at the upper thigh. His chest was also bandaged from shrapnel that had been sent through it.
O’Malley took a seat on a folding chair and pulled the dim light of their medical tent. Blood stained the sterile sheet placed over the ground. He looked over to the gray with a pain of sympathy for his injuries. The Arxur was breathing laborious and gasping at the air as if it were fighting him. He leaned in, “Alright, my child, how may I assist you?”
Through wheezing breathes the Arxur replied, “I am no hatching.”
“Oh, you misunderstand, it is how a priest of our culture addresses someone who is more youthful than them.” O’Malley spoke slowly and he checked Arxur's pulse. Faint but for the moment steady. “Is there something I can do to make you more comfortable?”
“No, I am dying. Your docs as they are called said they cannot help.”
O’Malley cleared his throat, “You mean the medics.”
“Yes, they do not know enough and there is no surgeon here. Shrapnel has punctured my organs, I will die soon.”
O’Malley reached down to a clawed hand, his instinct was to pull away at the scales but he resisted it. He gripped the hand gently but firmly, his other hand placed near the Arxur’s mouth on his shoulder, showing vulnerability to the creature. “I am here, how may I comfort you in this hour? What is it you believe?”
“I…. I would rather know what you do, human.” O’Malley was taken aback by the request. He shook his head and resisted the urge to preach.
“I am a chaplain of our unit, I counsel the living, comfort the dying and give last rites to the dead. If that means I must learn your religion in your dying hour and console you with it, I will. Please explain what I must—”
“Human.” O’Malley silenced and listened to the Arxur speak, his mind slowly processing each word and ensuring he understood what the Arxur wished. He had trained long and hard, and he was not going to deny the wishes of a dying creature; not friend or foe. “Humor me. What is it that you believe?”
O’Malley took a moment and reached into his shirt, pulling out a small bible, he began to read a verse here and there, slowly explaining his religion, ensuring he focused upon the aspects of love, community, and companionship as well as faith. He spoke for an hour about love, mercy, and the strength of God as O’Malley believed in him.
He continued by explaining stories of the bible in short versions rather than reading verbatim. He explained the mercy and the concept of no atheist in a foxhole. O'Malley monitoring the Arxur's reaction, taking note of the tail as well as the face.
He realized the Arxur looked more peaceful than he had ever seen his species and paused, "If I remove your restraints, you won't attack me yes?"
The Arxur looked suddenly surprised and then nodded. O'Malley reached over to the buckles and clicked them off from the Arxur's wrists, waist, and neck. He did not immediately move but the creature managed a human version of a smile to show his appreciation. "Thank you, that is, more comfortable, please continue."
O'Malley continued explaining his beliefs and the story presented. He felt better preaching to a person who was able to push him away if they wished. It also began to feel less like talking to a prisoner and more like speaking with an old friend.
After intensely listening, the Arxur let out a severe ragged cough. Once the cough stopped, he was drooling blood onto his neck. “Human, my time comes. Please, lead me in a prayer, I did not believe in anything before now. But your warriors prove something supernatural about them. Now, I wish to believe in something as I draw my final breath.”
O’Malley nodded and started to give a prayer then stopped himself. He opened his small bible to Psalm and let his faith guide him. “Repeat after me and you may yet see the gates of Heaven, my friend.”
The Arxur turned his head weakly, “I am called, Grissen, can your lord forgive a wicked creature as I? The things I have—”
O’Malley squeezed the claw he held to get Grissen to be quiet and listen. “The Lord only cares that before your final moment you renounce your evil ways, genuinely mean your repentance, and accept him. If you repeat after me and truly believe in that; allow him to change your heart in that final moment, then yes.”
Grissen weakly nodded, “Proceed.”
“Repeat after me,” O’Malley waited to make sure Grissen was ready. “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want." O'Malley prepared his patience as Grissen repeated the words, slowly. The Arxur was having to speak very deliberately through his breathing. O'Malley could feel the pulse had quickened as well.
"He maketh me lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.” Grissen struggled but O’Malley's patience displayed that of the saints he spoke of. He calmly waited for the Arxur to catch up and gripped his hand to give him strength. Every stumble was a simple re-guiding from O'Malley with a smile.
Grissen's eyes showed remarkable recognition of O'Malley, never moving away from him as he listened intently, even managing to turn his head to face the priest fully.
His heart screamed for the pain this creature was in. Grissen’s voice was getting worse. He was drawing weaker, and unfocused with each passing word. He felt the agony in how his body shifted and his breathing struggled. The bloodshot eyes filled with torment but something else.
O'Malley recognized it as the desperation for acceptance, the desire to belong behind the pain. He had seen it so many times in someone's last hour. O'Malley hoped a surgeon would suddenly appear and save Grissen from this terrible slow way to die. His mind begged for such a miracle but his heart knew, it was too late.
He had administered too many last rites today but here he was giving another one. He felt his own tears forming in his eyes and fought them back.
Once Grissen finished the line, he resumed, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head in oil; my cup runneth over.”
Grissen's voice was getting lower in volume, almost what O'Malley thought an Arxur child would sound like. His eyes were no longer following O'Malley; he was only speaking the words, getting more monotone and laboured with each passing breath.
“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Grissen slowly repeated the words, “Surely…. Goodness and mercy… despite my evil… shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
“Amen.”“A…men….” Grissen’s grip slackened and he exhaled slowly, his chest deflated. His eyes glazed over and finally, his tongue fell from his lips across his cheek.
O’Malley reached up to feel his heart and felt no pulse. He was gone.
O’Malley gently placed the clawed hands across the chest in an X. He pushed the dried out tongue into the teeth and slowed the jaw. He noticed the smile upon Grissen’s lips that had formed in that last moment. He knew to leave well enough alone there. He reached up and closed the reptile’s eyes, slowly and gently. As he had done a dozen times today, every detail was precisely right.
He took a moment to admire how peaceful the gray managed to look in his final state of death. He pulled a notepad from his pocket and wrote on it, something he knew probably wouldn’t get done as no one had time to bury the dead. It wasn’t about if there was time, it was about the act of ensuring the last request was asked for and at least acknowledged.He placed the note between the hands, it had the image of a cross upon it and the words: “Protestant” upon it. This would signal to any human that he was to be given a protestant burial.
O’Malley paused, tears dripping from his eyes for his enemy as he spoke. “Lord above, take this one, Shelter this one, enemy-mine. For all are your’s in death, even those who would see your servant slain. I ask not for vengeance but that you take pity upon this soul as it departs for the next life. He repeated in your name before his final breath, accept him with warm smiles and open arms as I commend Grissen to your care. St. Peter, I ask you to not be cautious or repulsed but instead, nod to him as you read his many sins and then inform him, all is forgiven in his final hour even by his greatest enemies. Amen.”
O’Malley felt his body shaking as he opened his eyes.His cheeks were warm with tears, a smile of delight upon his face to save a soul just before it left, even if he could not answer the question of aliens before God. It had been a worthy peaceful time here in the tent. Something O’Malley knew all too well about war, it was not war that would end war but rather; understanding could bring it to a stop. He got up, his legs weak and knees wanting to lock. He struggled to hold his weight as he walked from the tent, trying to calm his emotions.
He stepped outside, walking back to his position on the line and pulled another smoke, he had not yet gotten to his lighter when the sound of gunfire ripped through the caldera again. Weapons lighting up as the Arxur assault began anew.
For O’Malley however, he couldn’t move. His chest burned. His heartbeat echoed in his ears. He watched the cigarette drop from his hand. He felt his strength drain from his legs as he fell over on his side. Machine guns and mortars tracers rippled across the valley. He felt warm blood pouring down his chest across his shoulder towards the ground.
He willed his eyes to look down and realized he was hit. His chest was heaving blood rapidly. His strength faded and slowly he felt his eyes become heavy.
He whispered a final prayer, “Dear Lord, hold Grissen at the gates; I wish to enter beside my friend.” His final thought as his eyes closed for good barely ten paces from the medical tent. “Amen.”
submitted by FiauraTanks to NatureofPredators [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 17:21 FitInvestigator5945 SATIRE RESEARCH

1599 book ban
In 1599, the Archbishop of Canterbury John Whitgift and the Bishop of London Richard Bancroft, whose offices had the function of licensing books for publication in England, issued a decree banning verse satire. The decree, now known as the Bishops' Ban of 1599, ordered the burning of certain volumes of satire by John Marston, Thomas Middleton, Joseph Hall, and others; it also required histories and plays to be specially approved by a member of the Queen's Privy Council, and it prohibited the future printing of satire in verse.[138]

The motives for the ban are obscure, particularly since some of the books banned had been licensed by the same authorities less than a year earlier. Various scholars have argued that the target was obscenity, libel, or sedition. It seems likely that lingering anxiety about the Martin Marprelate controversy, in which the bishops themselves had employed satirists, played a role; both Thomas Nashe and Gabriel Harvey, two of the key figures in that controversy, suffered a complete ban on all their works. In the event, though, the ban was little enforced, even by the licensing authority itself.

21st-century polemics
In 2005, the Jyllands-Posten Muhammad cartoons controversy caused global protests by offended Muslims and violent attacks with many fatalities in the Near East. It was not the first case of Muslim protests against criticism in the form of satire, but the Western world was surprised by the hostility of the reaction: Any country's flag in which a newspaper chose to publish the parodies was being burnt in a Near East country, then embassies were attacked, killing 139 people in mainly four countries; politicians throughout Europe agreed that satire was an aspect of the freedom of speech, and therefore to be a protected means of dialogue. Iran threatened to start an International Holocaust Cartoon Competition, which was immediately responded to by Jews with an Israeli Anti-Semitic Cartoons Contest.

In 2006 British comedian Sacha Baron Cohen released Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, a "mockumentary" that satirized everyone, from high society to frat boys. The film was criticized by many. Although Baron Cohen is Jewish, some complained that it was antisemitic, and the government of Kazakhstan boycotted the film. The film itself had been a reaction to a longer quarrel between the government and the comedian.

In 2008, popular South African cartoonist and satirist Jonathan Shapiro (who is published under the pen name Zapiro) came under fire for depicting then-president of the ANC Jacob Zuma in the act of undressing in preparation for the implied rape of 'Lady Justice' which is held down by Zuma loyalists.[139] The cartoon was drawn in response to Zuma's efforts to duck corruption charges, and the controversy was heightened by the fact that Zuma was himself acquitted of rape in May 2006. In February 2009, the South African Broadcasting Corporation, viewed by some opposition parties as the mouthpiece of the governing ANC,[140] shelved a satirical TV show created by Shapiro,[141] and in May 2009 the broadcaster pulled a documentary about political satire (featuring Shapiro among others) for the second time, hours before scheduled broadcast.[142] Apartheid South Africa also had a long history of censorship.

On December 29, 2009, Samsung sued Mike Breen, and the Korea Times for $1 million, claiming criminal defamation over a satirical column published on Christmas Day, 2009.[143][144]

On April 29, 2015, the UK Independence Party (UKIP) requested Kent Police investigate the BBC, claiming that comments made about Party leader Nigel Farage by a panelist on the comedy show Have I Got News For You might hinder his chances of success in the general election (which would take place a week later), and claimed the BBC breached the Representation of the People Act.[145] Kent Police rebuffed the request to open an investigation, and the BBC released a statement, "Britain has a proud tradition of satire, and everyone knows that the contributors on Have I Got News for You regularly make jokes at the expense of politicians of all parties."[145]

Satirical prophecy
Satire is occasionally prophetic: the jokes precede actual events.[146][147] Among the eminent examples are:

The 1784 presaging of modern daylight saving time, later actually proposed in 1907. While an American envoy to France, Benjamin Franklin anonymously published a letter in 1784 suggesting that Parisians economise on candles by arising earlier to use morning sunlight.[148]
In the 1920s, an English cartoonist imagined a laughable thing for the time: a hotel for cars. He drew a multi-story car park.[147]
The second episode of Monty Python's Flying Circus, which debuted in 1969, featured a sketch entitled "The Mouse Problem" (meant to satirize contemporary media exposés on homosexuality), which depicted a cultural phenomenon similar to some aspects of the modern furry fandom (which did not become widespread until the 1980s, over a decade after the sketch was first aired).
The comedy film Americathon, released in 1979 and set in the United States of 1998, predicted a number of trends and events that would eventually unfold in the near future, including an American debt crisis, Chinese capitalism, the fall of the Soviet Union, terrorism aimed at the civilian population, a presidential sex scandal, and the popularity of reality shows.
In January 2001, a satirical news article in The Onion, entitled "Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over"[149] had newly elected President George Bush vowing to "develop new and expensive weapons technologies" and to "engage in at least one Gulf War-level armed conflict in the next four years". Furthermore, he would "bring back economic stagnation by implementing substantial tax cuts, which would lead to a recession". This prophesied the Iraq War, the Bush tax cuts, and the Great Recession.
In 1975, the first episode of Saturday Night Live included an ad for a triple blade razor called the Triple-Trac; in 2001, Gillette introduced the Mach3. In 2004, The Onion satirized Schick and Gillette's marketing of ever-increasingly multi-blade razors with a mock article proclaiming Gillette will now introduce a five-blade razor.[150] In 2006, Gillette released the Gillette Fusion, a five-blade razor.
After the Iran nuclear deal in 2015, The Onion ran an article with the headline "U.S. Soothes Upset Netanyahu With Shipment Of Ballistic Missiles". Sure enough, reports broke the next day of the Obama administration offering military upgrades to Israel in the wake of the deal.[151]
In July 2016, The Simpsons released the most recent in a string of satirical references to a potential Donald Trump presidency (although the first was made back in a 2000 episode.) Other media sources, including the popular film Back to the Future Part II have also made similar satirical references.[152]
Satire celebration
In June 2019, Punocracy, Nigeria's foremost satire platform organised a nationwide writing competition for youth in the country with the objective to make satire a widely accepted and understood tool of socio-political commentary.[153] Some of the entries addressed issues like gender violence, political corruption, religious hypocrisy, internet fraud, educational decay and so on.[154] The group also declared November 9 as World Satire Day with the idea of "trying to fight against the ills in the society not by ammunition but by humour, sarcasm etcetera".[155]

See also
Cringe comedy
Culture jamming
Freedom of the press
List of satirists and satires
Mockumentary
News satire
Onomasti komodein
Parody religion
Stupidedia
Satiric misspellings
Satires (disambiguation)
Notes
The Archbishop of Canterbury and the Bishop of London, the censors of the press, issued Orders to the Stationers' Company on June 1 and 4, 1599, prohibiting the further printing of satires—the so-called 'Bishop's Ban'.[85][page needed]
References
Citations
Elliott 2004.
Frye, Northrup (1957). Anatomy of Criticism. Princeton, NJ: Princeton UP. p. 222. ISBN 0-691-06004-5.
Claridge, Claudia (2010) Hyperbole in English: A Corpus-based Study of Exaggeration p.257
Kharpertian, Theodore D (1990), "Thomas Pynchon and Postmodern American Satire", in Kharpertian (ed.), A hand to turn the time: the Menippean satires of Thomas Pynchon, pp. 25–7, ISBN 9780838633618
Branham 1997, p. xxiv.
Ullman, BL (1913), "Satura and Satire", Classical Philology, 8 (2): 172–194, doi:10.1086/359771, JSTOR 262450, The Renaissance confusion of the two origins encouraged a satire more aggressive than that of its Roman forebearers
Antonia Szabari (2009) Less Rightly Said: Scandals and Readers in Sixteenth-Century France p.2
"Forecast". Galaxy Science Fiction. June 1968. p. 113.
Corum 2002, p. 175.
"Ig", Improbable
Rosenberg, Harold (1960), "Community, Values, Comedy", Commentary, The American Jewish Committee, 30: 155, the oldest form of social study is comedy... If the comedian, from Aristophanes to Joyce, does not solve sociology's problem of "the participant observer", he does demonstrate his objectivity by capturing behavior in its most intimate aspects yet in its widest typicality. Comic irony sets whole cultures side by side in a multiple exposure (e.g., Don Quixote, Ulysses), causing valuation to spring out of the recital of facts alone, in contrast to the hidden editorializing of tongue-in-cheek ideologists.
Deloria, Vine (1969), "Indian humor", Custer Died For Your Sins: An Indian Manifesto, p. 146, Irony and satire provide much keener insights into a group's collective psyche and values than do years of [conventional] research as quoted in Ryan, Allan J (1999), The trickster shift: humour and irony in contemporary native art, p. 9, ISBN 9780774807043
Nash, Roderick Frazier (1970), "21. The New Humor", The Call of the Wild: 1900–1916, p. 203, Humor is one of the best indicators of popular thought. To ask what strikes a period as funny is to probe its deepest values and tastes.
Babcock, Barbara A. (1984), "Arrange Me Into Disorder: Fragments and Reflections on Ritual Clowning", in MacAloon (ed.), Rite, Drama, Festival, Spectacle. Also collected as Babcock, Barbara A Grimes (1996), Ronald, L (ed.), Readings in ritual studies, p. 5, Harold Rosenberg has asserted that sociology needs to bring comedy into the foreground, including "an awareness of the comedy of sociology with its disguises", and, like Burke and Duncan, he has argued that comedy provides "the radical effect of self- knowledge which the anthropological bias excludes.
Coppola, Jo (1958), "An Angry Young Magazine ...", The Realist (1), Good comedy is social criticism—although you might find that hard to believe if all you ever saw were some of the so-called clowns of videoland.... Comedy is dying today because criticism is on its deathbed... because telecasters, frightened by the threats and pressure of sponsors, blacklists and viewers, helped introduce conformity to this age... In such a climate, comedy cannot flourish. For comedy is, after all, a look at ourselves, not as we pretend to be when we look in the mirror of our imagination, but as we really are. Look at the comedy of any age and you will know volumes about that period and its people which neither historian nor anthropologist can tell you.
Coppola, Jo (December 12, 1958). Comedy on Television. Commonweal. p. 288.
Willi, Andreas (2003), The Languages of Aristophanes: Aspects of Linguistic Variation in Classical Attic Greek, Oxford University Press, pp. 1–2, ISBN 9780199262649
Ehrenberg, Victor (1962), The people of Aristophanes: a sociology of old Attic comedy, p. 39
Bevere, Antonio and Cerri, Augusto (2006) Il Diritto di informazione e i diritti della persona pp.265–6 quotation:
nella storia della nostra cultura, la satira ha realizzato il bisogno popolare di irridere e dissacrare il gotha politico ed economico, le cui reazioni punitive non sono certo state condizionate da critiche estetiche, ma dalla tolleranza o intolleranza caratterizzanti in quel momento storico la società e i suoi governanti. (...) la reale esistenza della satira in una società deriva, (...) dal margine di tolleranza espresso dai poteri punitivi dello Stato.

Amy Wiese Forbes (2010) The Satiric Decade: Satire and the Rise of Republicanism in France, 1830–1840 p.xv, quotation:
a critical public discourse (...) Satire rose the daunting question of what role public opinion would play in government. (...) satirists criticized government activities, exposed ambiguities, and forced administrators to clarify or establish policies. Not surprisingly, heated public controversy surrounded satiric commentary, resulting in an outright ban on political satire in 1835 (...) Government officials cracked down on their humorous public criticism that challenged state authority through both its form and content. Satire had been a political resource in France for a long time, but the anxious political context of the July Monarchy had unlocked its political power. Satire also taught lessons in democracy. It fit into the July Monarchy's tense political context as a voice in favor of public political debate. Satiric expression took place in the public sphere and spoke from a position of public opinion-that is, from a position of the nation’s expressing a political voice and making claims on its government representatives and leadership. Beyond mere entertainment, satire's humor appealed to and exercised public opinion, drawing audiences into new practices of representative government.

Knight, Charles A. (2004) Literature of Satire p.254
Test (1991) p.9 quotation:
A surprising variety of societies have allowed certain persons the freedom to mock other individuals and social institutions in rituals. From the earliest times the same freedom has been claimed by and granted to social groups at certain times of the year, as can be seen in such festivals as the Saturnalia, the Feast of Fools, Carnival, and similar folk festivals in India, nineteenth-century Newfoundland, and the ancient Mediterranean world.

Test (1991) pp.8–9
Cazeneuve (1957) p.244-5 quotation:
Ils constituent donc pour la tribu un moyen de donner une satisfaction symbolique aux tendances anti-sociales. Les Zunis, précisément parce qu'ils sont un peuple apollinien [où la règle prédomine], avaient besoin de cette soupape de sûreté. Les Koyemshis représentent ce que M. Caillois nomme le « Sacré de transgression ».

Durand (1984) p.106 quotation:
Déjà Cazeneuve (2) [Les dieux dansent à Cibola] avait mis auparavant en relief, dans la Société « apollinienne » des Zuñi, l'institution et le symbolisme saturnal des clowns Koyemshis, véritable soupape de sûreté « dionysienne ».

Yatsko, V, Russian folk funny stories
Corum (2002) p.163
David Worcester (1968) The Art of Satire p.16
Müller, Rolf Arnold (1973). Komik und Satire (in German). Zürich: Juris-Verlag. p. 92. ISBN 978-3-260-03570-8.
"What Is Horatian Satire?". wiseGEEK.
"Satire Terms". nku.edu.
Sharma, Raja (2011). "Comedy" in New Light-Literary Studies.
Patricia, Green. "The Golden Age of Satire: Alexander Pope and Jonathan Swift" (PDF).
"What Is Juvenalian Satire?". wiseGEEK.
"Satire Examples and Definition". Literary Devices.
"Satire in Literature: Definition, Types & Examples". Education Portal.
Fo (1990) p.9 quotation:
Nella storia del teatro si ritrova sempre questo conflitto in cui si scontrano impegno e disimpegno ... grottesco, satirico e lazzo con sfottò. E spesso vince lo sfotto. tanto amato dal potere. Quando si dice che il potere ama la satira

Eastman, Max (1936), "IV. Degrees of Biting", Enjoyment of Laughter, pp. 236–43
Fo, Dario; Lorch, Jennifer (1997), Dario Fo, p. 128, ISBN 9780719038488, In other writings Fo makes an important distinction between sfottò and satire.
Fo (1990) pp.2–3
... Una caricatura che, è ovvio, risulta del tutto bonaria, del tutto epidermica, che indica, come dicevo prima, soltanto la parte più esteriore del loro carattere, i tic la cui messa in risalto non lede assolutamente l'operato, l'ideologia, la morale e la dimensione culturale di questi personaggi. ... ricordando che i politici provano un enorme piacere nel sentirsi presi in giro; è quasi un premio che si elargisce loro, nel momento stesso in cui li si sceglie per essere sottoposti alla caricatura, a quella caricatura. ... Di fatto questa è una forma di comicità che non si può chiamare satira, ma solo sfottò. ... Pensa quanti pretesti satirici si offrirebbero se solo quei comici del "Biberon" volessero prendere in esame il modo in cui questi personaggi gestiscono il potere e lo mantengono, o si decidessero a gettare l'occhio sulle vere magagne di questa gente, le loro violenze più o meno mascherate, le loro arroganze e soprattutto le loro ipocrisie. ...un teatro cabaret capostipite: il Bagaglino, un teatro romano che, già vent'anni fa, si metteva in una bella chiave politica dichiaratamente di estrema destra, destra spudoratamente reazionaria, scopertamente fascista. Nelle pieghe del gruppo del Bagaglino e del suo lavoro c'era sempre la caricatura feroce dell'operaio, del sindacalista, del comunista, dell'uomo di sinistra, e una caricatura bonacciona invece, e ammiccante, accattivante, degli uomini e della cultura al potere

Fo (1990) quotation:
L'ironia fatta sui tic, sulla caricatura dei connotati più o meno grotteschi dei politici presi di mira, dei loro eventuali difetti fisici, della loro particolare pronuncia, dei loro vezzi, del loro modo di vestire, del loro modo di camminare, delle frasi tipiche che vanno ripetendo. ...[lo sfottò è] una chiave buffonesca molto antica, che viene di lontano, quella di giocherellare con gli attributi esteriori e non toccare mai il problema di fondo di una critica seria che è l'analisi messa in grottesco del comportamento, la valutazione ironica della posizione, dell'ideologia del personaggio.

[page needed]
Arroyo, José Luís Blas; Casanova, Mónica Velando (2006), Discurso y sociedad: contribuciones al estudio de la lengua en..., 1, pp. 303–4, ISBN 9788480215381
Morson, Gary Saul (1988), Boundaries of Genre, p. 114, ISBN 9780810108110, second, that parodies can be, as Bakhtin observes, "shallow" as well as "deep" (Problems of Dostoevsky's Poetics, 160), which is to say, directed at superficial as well as fundamental faults of the original. [...] the distinction between shallow and deep [...] [is] helpful in understanding the complex ways in which parodies are used. For instance, shallow parody is sometimes used to pay an author an indirect compliment. The opposite of damning with faint praise, this parody with faint criticism may be designed to show that no more fundamental criticism could be made.
Luttazzi, Daniele (2005), Matrix, IT, archived from the original on December 25, 2005, Dario Fo disse a Satyricon: —La satira vera si vede dalla reazione che suscita.
Luttazzi, Daniele (October 2003), Fracassi, Federica; Guerriero, Jacopo (eds.), "State a casa a fare i compiti" (interview), Nazione Indiana (in Italian), Lo sfottò è reazionario. Non cambia le carte in tavola, anzi, rende simpatica la persona presa di mira. La Russa, oggi, è quel personaggio simpatico, con la voce cavernosa, il doppiatore dei Simpson di cui Fiorello fa l’imitazione. Nessuno ricorda più il La Russa picchiatore fascista. Nessuno ricorda gli atti fascisti e reazionari di questo governo in televisione.
Kremer, S Lillian (2003), Holocaust Literature: Agosín to Lentin, p. 100, ISBN 9780415929837
Lipman, Stephen ‘Steve’ (1991), Laughter in hell: the use of humour during the Holocaust, Northvale, NJ: J Aronson, p. 40
Clark (1991) pp.116–8 quotation:
...religion, politics, and sexuality are the primary stuff of literary satire. Among these sacret targets, matters costive and defecatory play an important part. ... from the earliest times, satirists have utilized scatological and bathroom humor. Aristophanes, always livid and nearly scandalous in his religious, political, and sexual references...

Clark, John R; Motto, Anna Lydia (1973), Satire–that blasted art, p. 20
Clark, John R; Motto, Anna Lydia (1980), "Menippeans & Their Satire: Concerning Monstrous Leamed Old Dogs and Hippocentaurs", Scholia Satyrica, 6 (3/4): 45, [Chapple's book Soviet satire of the twenties]... classifying the very topics his satirists satirized: housing, food, and fuel supplies, poverty, inflation, "hooliganism", public services, religion, stereotypes of nationals (the Englishman, German, &c), &c. Yet the truth of the matter is that no satirist worth his salt (Petronius, Chaucer, Rabelais, Swift, Leskov, Grass) ever avoids man's habits and living standards, or scants those delicate desiderata: religion, politics, and sex.
Ferdie Addis (2012) Qual è il tuo "tallone da killer"? p.20
Hodgart (2009) ch 2 The topics of satire: politics p.33
The most pressing of the problems that face us when we close the book or leave the theatre are ultimately political ones; and so politics is the pre-eminent topic of satire. ...to some degree public affairs vex every man, if he pays taxes, does military service or even objects to the way his neighbour is behaving. There is no escape from politics where more than a dozen people are living together.
There is an essential connection between satire and politics in the widest sense: satire is not only the commonest form of political literature, but, insofar as it tries to influence public behaviours, it is the most political part of all literature.

BRAINY QUOTES
SATIRE
Satire lies about literary men while they live and eulogy lies about them when they die.

Voltaire
Satire is traditionally the weapon of the powerless against the powerful.

Molly Ivins
Comedy has to be done en clair. You can't blunt the edge of wit or the point of satire with obscurity. Try to imagine a famous witty saying that is not immediately clear.

James Thurber
The satirist who writes nothing but satire should write but little - or it will seem that his satire springs rather from his own caustic nature than from the sins of the world in which he lives.

Anthony Trollope
Praise undeserved, is satire in disguise.

Alexander Pope


Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will allow you to satirize it. Which is rather ridiculous, when you think about it.

Lenny Bruce
Satire doesn't effect change.

P. J. O'Rourke
I only aim at the powerful. When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar.

Molly Ivins
Rush Limbaugh's pathetic abuse of logic, his absurd pomposity, his relentless self-promotion, his ridiculous ego - now those, friends, are appropriate targets for satire.

Molly Ivins
Satire is a weapon, and it can be quite cruel.

Molly Ivins
You can't debate satire. Either you get it or you don't.

Michael Moore
It's a great time to be doing political satire when the world is on a knife edge.

John Oliver
When satire is aimed at the powerless, it is not only cruel - it's vulgar.

Molly Ivins
Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

Stephen Colbert
I started off at the Second City in Chicago... It's an improvisational theater that ostensibly does social and political satire, but when I was there, we generally didn't. We did character work, and we did just the silliest things we could think of. We weren't all that concerned with, you know, changing the world through mime.

Stephen Colbert
I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.

Stephen Colbert
I have never knowingly, I swear to God, written satire. The word connotes exaggeration of the foibles of mankind. To me, mankind just has foibles. You don't have to push it!

Tom Wolfe
We never dealt with satire or suggestive material. Although some of our films were broad parodies or burlesques of popular dramatic themes, there was no conscious attempt at being either sarcastic or offensive.

Stan Laurel
If you're going to give people 20 minutes of news satire, you've also got to give them Tiffani-Amber Thiessen or you're going to have rioting in the streets.

Jon Stewart
The satirist who writes nothing but satire should write but little - or it will seem that his satire springs rather from his own caustic nature than from the sins of the world in which he lives.

Anthony Trollope
When I started performing, there was no Internet; I didn't really have anything to copy. I kind of had to just make up what I thought burlesque was, based on photographs of Sally Rand or whatever.

Dita Von Teese
The difference between burlesque and the newspapers is that the former never pretended to be performing a public service by exposure.

I. F. Stone
You know what my earliest memories are? Going from one burlesque town to another. My father was in burlesque.

Alan Alda
Every one of my products - my lingerie, my perfume, and everything that I do beauty-related with regard to building my burlesque shows - is just me.

Dita Von Teese
The silent film has a lot of meanings. The first part of the film is comic. It represents the burlesque feel of those silent films. But I think that the second part of the film is full of tenderness and emotion.

Pedro Almodovar
Me personally, I want to entertain people above all. When you look back at burlesque in history and the real golden age of burlesque, those entertainers were there to entertain, and there wasn't usually some big political message behind what they were doing.

Dita Von Teese
Bip is the romantic and burlesque hero for our time. Bip is a modern-day Don Quixote.

Marcel Marceau
In the early '90s, it was grunge; everybody was fully clothed. Alanis Morissette was one of the biggest artists in the world, never wore makeup, wearing Doc Marten boots, and then the Spice Girls turn up, and suddenly it all looks a bit burlesque; suddenly they're the biggest band in the world.

Caitlin Moran
I don't think there is such a thing as being too raunchy when it comes to the art form of burlesque.

Christina Aguilera
Objectivity is almost a choice you make. As a burlesque performer, I didn't choose to be objectified.

Esme Bianco
Burlesque girls were alchemists. They were steel-tough performers who were willing to use kitchens as dressing rooms, haul their costume bags through the snow, and go into debt over fake diamonds, all for the five minutes onstage when they were goddesses.

Molly Crabapple
I was performing in this burlesque group, and we would go to dance rehearsals every day. You'd use every part of your body. Even though some of it is slow, it takes a lot of muscle to be able to dip down and come back up.

Carmen Electra
Burlesque dancing didn't solve all my post-divorce problems, but what it did do was force me to court myself for a little while.

Emily V. Gordon
Some of the pictures I must say every now and then I just think are going to be funny. When it gets that much, you might as well just pull out all the stops and make it more of a burlesque.

Martin Mull
The human comedy is always tragic, but since its ingredients are always the same - dupe, fox, straight, like burlesque skits - the repetition through the ages is comedy.

Dawn Powell
I've always had a love affair with New York City, and I've threatened to get an apartment there one day. But it just made sense for me to set 'Burlesque' on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles. It's a place I know intimately well and love, and I think there's a great story to be told with L.A.

Steve Antin
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2023.03.25 17:12 thatreallyshortchick Welcome to Charlie’s: We’re Under New Management [Part 8]

8:02 a.m.
When I entered Charlie’s this morning, Lacie and Maura were already there. Lacie sat behind the service desk, speaking quickly with her hands while Maura soaked up every word she said.
Lacie had been working with Maura and Gabe to help them harvest the energy supply of Charlie’s. Many customers leave a sort of emotional footprint when they shop here. Since they clearly weren’t going anywhere, Lacie decided to teach them how to harvest the energy from those emotions. It helped them retain memories, better understand the world, and interact with their surroundings. They had been unconsciously doing it since they first appeared here after death, but she was teaching them how to control it.
This lesson seemed a bit different today, though. The 1st thing I heard come out of Maura’s mouth was, “So they no longer do lobotomies, but you all will willing poke holes in your body for fashion?” She reached out and lightly flicked Lacie’s septum piercing while she said “fashion,” making Lacie giggle.
“How underfunded was your asylum if they still did lobotomies?” asked Lacie.
Maura rolled her eyes. “Why do you think I wanted to leave so bad?”
Lacie giggled again before finally acknowledging me. She gave me a kiss on the cheek and wrapped an arm around my waist. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” I responded with a smile. “Hey, Maura.”
“Yo,” she responded.
I walked over to register one and put in my log in code in preparation for the day. Lacie asked if I needed her help with anything, but I told her they could keep doing their thing. Before I had even walked off, however, history class was abruptly put on hold. Our attention went toward the sliding glass doors as two women entered, one younger and one older.
The gears in my head began to turn as I realized I recognized the woman, but I couldn’t remember from where.
And then it hit me.
Ursula Jones was walking towards us. The Father’s replacement.
Surprisingly, weapons are not hot commodity at Charlie’s. I mean, they are, but they aren’t laying out all willy nilly. Most are in protective packaging. So, to defend myself, I picked up the thing closest to me: the conveyor belt grocery divider. I brandished it like a sword, pointing it right at the enemy.
“Good morning, darlings!” greeted Ursula as she placed a ribbonned basket of muffins onto the register’s conveyor belt. Her short brown hair was rolled into poodle cut curls. She wore a simple black dress, black flats, pearl earrings, and bright red lipstick. Very fashionable, but I know enough about femme fatales not to let my guard down.
She gave my makeshift weapon a look of pity before gently moving it downwards with one finger. “Did the previous owners not tell you?”
The younger girl, a miniature of Ursula and surely her daughter, eyed us curiously as she sucked on a cherry red lollipop. She was decked out in more black than her mother with three cross necklaces adorning her neck, all of their chains at varying lengths. The only color about her was the forrest green tips to her long black hair.
“Tell us what?” asked Lacie. I could tell by the fist clenched at her side that she was also on high alert and ready to summon any number of powers to defend the store.
Ursula gave us a wide grin. “I’m the new owner of Charlie’s,” she announced before motioning to her gothly daughter. “And this is my daughter Daisy, your new store manager.”

9:10 a.m.
While randomly getting new bosses today might be stressful to us and possibly even you, dear reader, especially if you’ve been in a similar scenario, the owners have never been fond of other’s emotions. Wanna know how they told us goodbye? After I called them approximately 15 times, all of which got sent to voicemail, and also text them asking what was going on, they finally gave us a response. The response was creating a group chat, sending a message to said group chat containing only the peace sign emoji, and then blocking all of our numbers.
However, as long as the doors are open, the customers will keep coming. And they did, and so the day went on. Before we had even had time to process the huge change and how it might impact us, we were getting our morning rush.
“Ahem,” said a voice behind me.
I turned around to find Daisy waiting expectantly with her hot pink clipboard. It had black and white star stickers all over the back. “I would very much like for you to show me all of this business’ amenities.”
I nodded before pausing my task. I would have to finish counting the clown statues later. The only reason I had started counting them was because a customer told me they saw one wandering around, which would explain why they had been going missing over the last few weeks. I got up to 13, so don’t let me forget that number.
I took her to the Bloody Bathroom first and explained its historical significance. When the blood flow was still a thing to worry about, we would jokingly say the bathroom was menstruating. The bathroom hadn’t had its time of the month in a while, but it’s definitely something we would not forget.
Next up, I brought her to Gary’s deli. While she seemed rather cheerful at Gary’s lovable demeanor, I think she was a little put off when he couldn’t tell her where his Special of the Day spleens had come from. My stern look told him to keep quiet, which made his smile quickly disappear and disappointment take its place. She asked me if I ordered it, and I told her I let Gary handle the deli tasks. I also chose not to mention that I had accidentally found Gary’s little black book of victims a while back, and I had a good guess at just how well he knew those spleens. To be fair, little black books of all kinds are not considered conversational topics to me, but our little hunter Gary will always have a soft spot in my heart no matter how deranged he seems.
After the fifth “Gary forgot” that the poor guy muttered, I distracted Daisy by mentioning the display he regularly decorated to brag on him a bit. Deranged or not, the guy has definitely got some talent. Errr…uh, in the decorating department, not the carving one.
I ended the tour with some of the new additions to Charlie’s: the Witch’s Brew Cafe, the magical vending machine, the housewares department, and the extension of the parking lot. She had a few questions as to why there was a wizard living in the parking lot in a small tent, and I had no answers. I had even fewer answers when his pet duck waddled out from the tent, lit up a charcoal grill, and began grilling frogs. The wizard gave us a wave, his wispy beard blowing in the wind as he stood there in just a pair of white boxers polka-dotted with red hearts and a matching wizard hat. We waved back before making our way back inside.
Pretty much the only time Daisy showed any bit of emotion during our tour was when Sheryl decided to join us. Well, really, she kind of showed some when the poltergeist showed up in housewares…I’ll get to it later. Don’t nag me! But, by the end of the tour, Sheryl was absolutely bawling her eyes out and shouting, “Where has the time gone?” Daisy attempted to console her and give her a reassuring pat on the back.
“There, there,” said Daisy awkwardly. The whole interaction came off as more robotic than anything, so I was shocked when it actually calmed Sheryl down. But…then again, Sheryl is dating a cyborg.
“So, you’ve obviously met Sheryl and Gary. You’ve met me, Lacie, and the coffee shop folks. Have you met Gabe?”
She shook her head. “Who’s Gabe?”
Unbeknownst to her, a suddenly summoned Gabe appeared behind her. “Boo,” he said, causing her to drop her clipboard. She glared at him as it clattered to the floor. “Oops.”
I laughed at them and received my own glare from Daisy. I rubbed the back of my head nervously. “Sorry, he’s become a bit of a trickster since his death.”
Just as quickly as he had shown up, Gabe disappeared again, and that seemed to conclude the tour. Daisy went off to “monitor and assist everyone’s duties,” as she put it, and I went back to my previous task.
Now, where was I? Oh, clown statues. Let me count again. 1,2,3…12. That’s what it was last time, right?

10:36 a.m.
“Here’s yours, Jared,” announced Danielle as she placed my caramel frappuccino on the counter. “Lacie’s is almost ready.”
“Thanks,” I said. I grabbed it and took a sip, enjoying the icy treat. Within 30 seconds, nearly a quarter of it was gone, and I could already hear Lacie nagging me about coming to buy a second coffee later. I may have adopted a coffee addiction thanks to our new cafe.
Unironically, the Witch’s Brew was a magical place. I absolutely loved the atmosphere with its high ceilings, dim lights, and gothic charm. The only colors involved in the decor were Halloween shades: orange, purple, and green. Oh, and black, of course.
Sheryl bounded up to the register giddily as I slurped on my drink. “I’m so glad you guys are finally open! It feels like I’ve been waiting forever!”
Drucilla the cashier gave her a puzzled look. “Honey, we’ve been opened since the store opened.”
Sheryl gave her a puzzled look back. “Every time I tried to come in, the door was always locked.”
Drucilla, Danielle, and Blount, the other barista, began debating whether or not Sheryl had been hexed. As I turned around to look at their door which was currently held open with a door stopper, an idea dawned on me.
“Sheryl,” I said, interjecting into their conversation. “When you came to see if they were open, did you push or pull on the door handle?”
She tilted her head to the side and placed a finger on her lips as if lost in deep thought. “Pull,” she finally said.
The sign on the door read “Push.” A chorus of “Ahh”’s filled the room as the explanation came together in everyone’s heads. Sheryl stayed oblivious. Actually, the room’s response made her even more confused.
“Oh, honey,” said Drucilla, her voice full of pity. “What can we get for you?”
“It’s on the house,” said Danielle, her voice also dripping with pity.
Blount handed me Lacie’s drink as Sheryl ordered some complicated coffee recipe with nearly 20 ingredients that she had found somewhere online. The witches all looked disgusted, but it sounded kinda good to me. As I was about to make my way out the door, Lacie text me that she had enough time to meet me at the cafe to enjoy our coffee together. I talked to the witches and Sheryl while I waited on her.
“Here you go, darling,” said Danielle as she handed Sheryl her coffee. As she was turning around to pass it over, I saw her pointer finger swirling above the beverage as it softly spun around its cup. She knew I had seen what she had done, so she gave me a wink as Sheryl took a sip. She mumbled something about giving Sheryl “a little pep in her step.”
Apparently, the first sip was so good that Sheryl felt the need to take a few gulps. Had I known what she was going to do, I would have highly advised her not to order a drink from the list of hot coffees, but there’s a high probability she wouldn’t have listened to me anyways. I could tell the witches felt the same by the concerned look they gave her. After demolishing nearly half the coffee, Sheryl’s body spasmed and jerked, making her stand up straight as a board as she yelled, “The square root of pi is 1.77245—”
Danielle’s face completely blanked as if her brain was rebooting before cringing at what she had done. “May have added a little too much pep,” she said as Sheryl continued rattling off numbers.

11:02 a.m.
“Hey, Jared, can you tell Gabe to come to the office?” asked Daisy. “I’ve called him 3 times over the radio, and he hasn’t come.”
I had failed to mention to her that Gabe didn’t use a radio because they fall through his body if he loses focus. It just so happened that he was walking by me as Daisy finished asking her a favor. He was pulling a rather large pallet of merchandise behind him, and I told Daisy I would let him know before shouting his name.
His head snapped toward the direction of my voice, causing him to lose focus on his current task. However, the pallet had not gotten the memo that he was stopping, and panic filled me at the possibility of him getting hurt. “Oh, crap, wait!” I yelled, motioning for him to get away. I winced as the pallet drew closer and closer, and he still wasn’t moving. He was also giving me a rather strange look, but I just kept yelling for him to move.
And then the pallet simply went through him, and my body slacked. “Oh,” I said as he approached me, laughing at my freak-out.
“Did you forget I’m dead?” he asked with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes before relaying Daisy’s message, and he wandered off to see what she needed. As I busied myself with checking if my register’s drawer had enough change, I wondered how he decided whether to simply teleport or to walk normally to places. Personally, I would teleport everywhere if given the opportunity.
“Fefe!”
Sheryl’s screech made me launch a roll of quarters in my hand across the registers, accidentally landing some hits on a big burly sasquatch. I gulped as the monster lumbered over to me. His hot, stinking breath heated up my cheeks as anger bubbled in his eyes. As he released a roar so strong it blew the hair out of my face, I snatched up a stapler beside me and aimed at his large furry face, ready yet fully expecting to die. He raised a meaty fist, but before his first attack could be landed, our battle was sidetracked as Sheryl screamed once more. This time, however, it was followed by a cat’s hiss.
A black blur clambered onto my conveyor belt as an out-of-breath Sheryl nearly collided with it. She leaped for the small black void, and it hissed again. A thick chrome collar looped its small neck with a flashing purple light dangling from it.
“Enough, mother!” ordered the kitten. With enough feistiness to ignite a fire, the fluffy creature turned to the behemoth before me and hissed. Without hesitation, the sasquatch raced out of the front doors before the kitten’s fur could even rise to its full extent. He even forgot his groceries, but I had no plans of running them out to him.
The cat rolled her eyes before settling into a relaxed loaf mode in front of me. “Yes?” I asked her.
“We’re out of my brand of cat food.”
“The truck is going to be here a little after lunch,” I responded.
If she had eyebrows, I swear they would have creased at my response. “How does that help me during lunch?”
“Well, considering it will be your—” I paused dramatically to look at my non-existent wristwatch, “---third meal of the day already, I think you will be fine.”
The kitten’s eyes became slits as they stayed glued to me. Every hair on its body raised as it slowly stood up. Her claws came out, gouging deep holes into the counter below her. My eyes drifted over to Sheryl to figure out what was going on, but I got no reassurance. She looked ready to piss herself, honestly, especially when the cat burst into flames. I jumped back and immediately reached for my eyebrows, fearful they had been singed off. Turns out she had more than enough feistiness.
With a shriek of rage, she jumped up onto her back legs and launched a ball of fire toward aisle 7. A fully enflamed Chip escaped the aisle and zoomed over to our cooler housing the bags of ice for sale. He didn’t even bother opening its door and just jumped straight through, creating a gaping hole in the thick metal. Luckily, the ice’s cool embrace succeeded in putting out the fire, and wisps of steamy relief floated upwards. Chip gave Sheryl and me a thumbs-up from his safe space, and a piece of his melted rubbery cyborg skin fell off.
The cat released something between a hiss and a growl before hopping off of my conveyor belt. Every step she took burned the floor, leaving a trail of blackened paw prints in her wake. Although tiny, her heat made her seem bigger, and I could already feel a trail of sweat trickling down my back. The sprinkler system turned on, but it did practically nothing to her blaze.
Sheryl rushed over to Chip in the cooler to make sure he was okay while I ran to the service desk. “Attention all shoppers, if you can do so safely, calmly make your way to the exit and avoid the flaming cat. I repeat, all customers please calmly make your way to the exit and avoid the flaming cat.”
Fefe walked in the direction of aisle 4 where a man decked out in some strange outfit was exiting, and he began shouting belligerent words at her. She began screaming back at him, but I couldn’t hear them over the customer's screams as they fled to the exit, practically trampling each other. “Literally nothing about that was calm, but okay,” I said into the microphone.
I began walking in the direction of the cat and the man slowly just to get a better look. His body was mostly covered in silver from what I could see. After a few steps, Gabe materialized beside me to join me. We walked in silence a couple more steps until he asked, “Is that Sheryl’s baking pan on his chest?”
We both stopped, and I squinted in confusion. “Yeah. Yeah, I think it is.”
We entered a moment of silence before finally locking eyes. “Gary,” we both said before continuing and also speeding up our walk toward them.
When we got close enough to them to hear their conversation, Gary was gesturing wildly with his hands. I could now see all of the pots, pans, and utensils he had melded together to create an armor. This was one of his unemployment projects from back when he went through his Transformers craze. While it was nowhere near the level of car parts, it was still pretty impressive.
“Fefe no burn down store, no burn loved ones, no burn customers!” yelled Gary.
Fefe let out a furious roar that sent a spurt of flames at Gary. Gabe and I let out screams of grief and terror at seeing our friend get possibly roasted alive. It felt like both one second and also an eternity that the flames were upon him. Either way, I fully expected him to be dead. Yet, when Fefe closed her mouth, Gary still stood there, looking much angrier than before. Our screams quickly died in our throats, getting cut off so suddenly that I choked and began coughing.
Gary let out a roar of his own before grabbing a chunk of metal off of his back that was once a cookie sheet. He bended the materials as if they were clay, shaping it into a makeshift mouthpiece. As soon as she pieced together what he was doing, they began a game of cat and mouse through the aisles where Fefe ironically wasn’t the cat. Fefe would randomly throw fireballs to divert Gary, but he would take them like a champ and keep rolling. Gabe and I watched, fascinated with the fight. At one point, Gabe vanished and reappeared a moment later with two bags of freshly popped popcorn for us.
It was easy to see how frustrated Gary was becoming, and we felt bad that we couldn’t help. We still didn’t even understand how Gary was so unphased but her fire, though. And so the chase continued, that is until Sheryl appeared with a now bandaged Chip hobbling beside her. (Ignore the fact that he’s a cyborg and doesn’t need bandages because that’s clearly what Sheryl did.) She let out a screeching “Fefe” at the top of her lungs, and the kitten stopped in her tracks. Gary was about to quickly grab her by the scruff of her neck while she was distracted. She yelped before beginning to whine. “But, Uncle Gary, I just wanted lunch!” She struggled against him covering her mouth, eventually melting the piece of metal until it was useless anyway.
Gary groaned like a father using his last bit of patience. “Fefe going to timeout!”
Her flames blazed once more just to the left of me, barely missing by inches, which was entirely too close in my opinion. I made a mental note to check to see if I still had eyebrows later. She actually did hit Gabe, causing him to scream as he too forgot his ghostly qualities. He blushed bright red with embarrassment afterwards. Fefe’s roars continued Godzilla-style, taking down a shelf of bread, two self checkout stations, and a snowman customer that had been lingering in the store. “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!” the melted man’s mouth-coals blubbered before floating separately away through the sprinkler’s puddles. Gary carried her through the store as her tantrum continued, bringing her to the safety of the parking lot.
By the way, did I mention that this is Charlie’s new pet? This is actually the third incident we’ve had like this this week. You’d think we’d have a process or plan for when she does this, but that’s still a work in progress. Rage therapy is definitely on the list, though.
“I’ll let the wizard know we need a reset spell done,” said Gabe before vanishing.
Sheryl was able to completely calm Fefe by running to a store down the road to buy her specialty cat food, so all ended up being well. I made another mental note after this encounter to keep an extra stock of that brand to avoid Fefe’s hangry rath in the future. Oh, and Danielle later explained to me that she put a protection spell on Gary’s makeshift armor, but that she had never told him that she did. That’s how Gary was unaffected by Fefe’s fiery flames. However, if you asked Gary, he would tell you with full seriousness the Transformer gods gave his armor magical abilities.
Did you know there’s a secret underground religion for Transformers? Learn something new every day.

Charlie’s Group Chat - 12:03 p.m.
Lacie: do we sell dentures? Jared: No. Why? Lacie: zombie customer with no teeth J: Why would you even let that sale happen? Sheryl: The customer is always right! Lacie liked Sheryl’s Message S: Tomorrow is Chip’s Bday! L: cyborgs can have birthdays? Chip: It is my manufacture date. Don’t you guys have one? J: Yeah, I got Lacie from the lab last April. L: my birthday is in October. J: That’s what you’re programmed to think. Acid Dude: What am I programmed to think? J: At this point, I’m pretty sure you’re programmed to have no thoughts. S: That’s so cool! Can I do that? C: I will research how to remove your motherboard. AD: I’ll let you borrow mine! Jared added Daisy to the chat. Daisy: Good afternoon. Sheryl: Hasta leugo! 🙂

12:27 p.m.
Do you know what really sucks? When you really, really just want the day to go right, but life says screw you and throws one curve ball after another. My limit had not only been reached but massacred. I felt like I had received a curveball to the face my head was pounding so hard. I have to rant for a moment, so, if you don’t want to read me whining, skip to after the bullet points.
Here’s what crap I’ve had to deal with so far today, not including the new ownership being thrown at us:
Chip got into an argument with one of the card readers, and it chose to go offline until he apologized. He refused, and it’s still offline. Gary dragged a centaur carcass through the store and traumatized several customers. Sheryl nearly drove her new Lamborghini through the front windows. She tried to gaslight me into believing there was a road through the front window and Charlie’s was just in the way. Danielle decided to prank everyone by spelling the whole store to only speak pig latin. Thankfully it wasn’t long before she reversed the spell because she was the only one who found it funny. We have yet to convince Acid Dude that it was just a spell and not some miracle language he created and then completely forgot 20 minutes later.
So, even as I sat at the break room table and tried to enjoy my free pizza, I still felt like a curveball might smash through the break room door and knock me out for one final blow. And it was only just lunchtime.
Oh, let me explain the free pizza thing. Since it was our first day with Daisy, Ursula told her we could close the store for an hour to all have lunch together. She ordered us a couple of pizzas and told us to pick out some chips and drink. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it, at least.
“Why are you so pale?” Acid Dude asked Daisy.
“I’m dead,” she explained. “Well, undead, really.”
“Cotards?” asked Acid Dude.
“No, I’m a vampire.”. She opened her mouth a bit to flash her fangs.
Acid Dude scrunched up his face in disgust. “Homie, you need to go to the dentist.”
So far I’ve only seen Daisy show two emotions while here: “Oh, you poor thing,” and “Are you really that stupid?” That second one kind of mimicked curiosity, but it most definitely wasn’t. I’ll let you guess which one she was giving Acid Dude right now.
When the lunch party had reached my third slice of pizza o’clock, Lacie and Gabe started bickering. I’m not even sure what started it because I had been so zoned out, but it felt like this weird dark cloud came over them. It felt like it came out of nowhere. One minute I was staring at a lopsided ceiling tile and trying to determine if I saw a clown staring at me through its gap, and the next they were shouting.
“How did someone like you even get a job here?” yelled Gabe. “Did you flirt your way into the position?” Well, that escalated incredibly quickly folks. Here comes Daisy’s fake curiosity look. Honestly, I couldn’t blame her.
“Will you quit insinuating I got this job because of my looks?” To be fair, Lacie was gorgeous, but she was also very good at her job.
“Well, it definitely wasn’t because of skill.”
“I had enough skill to befriend your murderer,” she snapped.
“Just because you’re a freak that likes freaky things doesn’t mean you belong here any more than I do! I mean, I belong here so much that my spirit came here after death!”
“Just because your spirit is trapped here doesn’t mean you belong. From what I heard, you were being marketed as Gary’s daily special while I was being trained!”
I was on the verge of telling them to cut it out before I lost my mind, but—
“Oh, yeah? Well, at least I didn’t have to use a love spell to make everyone, including a wendigo, like me at this job! But then you fucked up and made Jared fall in love with you, didn’t you?”
Wait, what?
Lacie didn’t respond. Instead, her eyes began to well up with tears as they darted back and forth between Gabe and me. As soon as the words left his mouth, I could see the dark cloud affecting him lift and recognition enter his eyes. That still didn’t take away the hurt of what he had said.
“Wh-what?” I said out loud to her.
Her face flushed with worry and shame. “I–I can explain.”
“No,” I said, standing up from my chair so fast that it fell backward. I almost fell with it, but I regained my balance and once more said, “No.”
My brain felt like it was exploding. Had my love for her—our love for each other all been a manipulation tactic for a freaking grocery store job?
Everyone had quieted at this point, except for Sheryl who had been oblivious to the argument and who kept singing “I Will Always Love You” to Chip Jr. Chip quickly covered her mouth. Daisy once again had a look of pity on her face, but I ignored it while I made my departure. I made sure to grab a box of pizza on my way out, though, and I ignored Lacie’s final attempt to stop me.
Today could most definitely go fuck itself.

2:42 p.m.
We did inventory last week, and I screwed up by accidentally ordering twice the number of crackers we needed. I had them marked down to half price, which Mr. Ducksworth had noticed. A paddling of ducks marching into the store was something I had never expected to see, but I’m glad I got to experience it. I have to admit they were rather adorable in their determination to wipe out our supply of crackers, and Mr. Ducksworth was even more adorable as he guided their mission. (Don’t tell him I said that. I don’t want to be slapped again.)
The cause and effect of that is I am now restocking the crackers. Normally the overnight stocking crew does this, but the duck army bought literally every box. Even now, I could see them eyeing me as I stocked the shelves, munching on their crackers greedily. I had to block the aisle off with shopping carts, so they knew waddling onto this aisle was off-limits.
As I placed one of the slender boxes of crackers on the shelf, every single box of crackers I had placed behind it toppled like dominoes. I groaned before placing their shipping box on the shelf beside them to free my hands. As I straightened the crackers, the cardboard box flew off the shelf as if thrown. I rolled my eyes, already over today and lacking the patience to deal with the shelve’s antics. “I was going to throw the box away,” I told them. “I just had to fix these boxes first.”
A box of graham crackers slid to the front of the shelf, and I watched as the box’s logo morphed into the words, “It wasn’t us.”
A grin spread across my face as the feat left me amazed. “Why have you never told me you could do that?” I asked them. “That’s pretty cool.”
The bear on the box shrugged before its cheeks blushed, smiling smugly and waving its paw as if to say, “Oh shucks, that old trick?”
I jumped as all of the boxes on the shelf behind me were flung out so hard that some of them hit my back. The shelves in front of me responded by morphing all of their item's logos from the beginning of the aisle to the end into one long string of “Heeeeeeey.” Then it threw some items back, which I ducked to avoid. To my shock, they did not hit the shelves on the other side. Instead, it hit some type of force field in front of the shelves and clattered to the ground. I watched one single box float into the air before being thrown at me too. It whacked me in the face, causing me to yell out more in shock than pain.
The logos changed once more to read, “leave Jared aloneeeeeeee” all the way down the aisle.
“I’m not in this,” I announced while raising my hands above my head. I made my way out of the aisles, calling out “Clean up your mess when you’re done,” over my shoulder.
Later on, when I saw Gabe, I asked him if we had a poltergeist in the building.
“Oh, yeah,” he confirmed. “Sheryl spent an hour this morning playing catch with it.”
“Is that all it wants?”
He nodded, and I nodded back in understanding. “And the shelves don’t want to play catch with it,” I said mostly to myself because Gabe had already walked off.
I realized that intervention had to happen when the altercations began to involve customers. I saw a man angrily speed-balling cans into the shelves surrounding him, and I immediately stepped in to help. After apologizing to him and offering a 50% discount that might make Ursula hate me, I turned to the shelves.
“Look, guys, this has got to stop. Putting me through it is one thing because I know I’m this store’s guinea pig, but dragging customers into it is where I draw the line. It’s extremely bad for business.”
I crossed my arms and waited for a response, but none came. After a couple of minutes of waiting for one, I sighed and began tapping my foot as my aggravation and impatience grew. Maybe five seconds later is when I saw the cans to my right begin to tumble off their shelves. Soon, hands appeared, their formation resembling someone swimming forward while underwater.
“What the…” I began as I saw the owner of the hands shimmying through the space it had cleared out. Stringy tendrils of hair trickled out over the shelf edge, falling downwards until they almost touched the floor. The crown of a head peeked out over the edge, making me step back a bit. Recognition began to creep into my bones, but I couldn’t tell why until I heard a familiar popping of the being’s neck. I debated running away, but the head snapped upwards before I could respond. A foul and rotten face locked eyes with me, giving me a horrific grin.
“Deborah!” I yelled while falling back on my butt. Before I had even landed on the floor, however, she was gone. I looked all around me rapidly, dread overwhelming to the point that I felt bile rising up in my throat. Deborah’s disembodied laughter began to fill my ears, and I felt like I was about to pass out.
Until a note floated downwards and landed in my lap. I picked it up and read the scrawling handwriting. It almost resembled a child’s writing, even written with crayon, and it was something I had most definitely never seen before. “Gotcha!” it read.
I groaned. “That wasn’t funny!”
Another note floated downwards and landed in my lap again. “Yes, it was.”
I heard a clinking above me and looked up to find a stack of cans with their logos just changed. “It kind of was,” they read.
I rolled my eyes. “At least you guys are getting along, I guess.”

7:13 p.m.
Knock…knock…knock
I sighed in annoyance. “Go away.”
“Can I come inside?” spoke up the child’s voice on the other side of the locked glass doors. His eerily monotone voice had become a rather aggravating occurrence to me.
“No. Go away,” I said more forcefully.
“Ooooh! Barty is here!” Sheryl crooned from behind me. “Hi, Barty Boy!”
“My name is Bartholemew,” said the boy, sounding slightly annoyed before switching back to his bland cadence. “Can you let me inside, Sheryl?”
“No, I’m sorry, Barty,” responded Sheryl, her voice dripping with disappointment. “Jared says I’ll die if I do.”
“I’m not going to hurt you,” said the strange child. “It’s cold out here, and I would like to call my mother.”
“He doesn’t have a mother because he’s not actually a child,” I explained. “We’ve been over this, Sheryl.”
“Yeah, but he’s just so darn cute!” she responded. “And clearly he needs new clothes! I mean, those were popular in like…colonial days!”
I finally looked up from my register to take a closer look at Barty. He was also looking down at his outfit as if he hadn’t realized his fashion sense was centuries behind. When he looked back up, his jet-black eyes locked onto mine. The sickly sweet smell of death was already getting unbearable, and that was with him on the other side of the door still. His eyes resembled black pits of despair. They beckoned you closer and closer, and if you got too close, they would swallow you up. They began unearthing my deepest fears: Lacie never loving me, the store firing me, dying alone. Just before the feelings consumed me entirely, before I was convinced that the only answer to my salvation was to let him inside, I managed to look away. “Go away, Barty,” I ordered once more.
His porcelain face glared at me. “My name is Bartholemew, and I need to come inside.”
Sheryl looked toward me in hopefulness. When I didn’t respond, she began to shimmy closer to the door as if I wouldn’t notice.
“Sheryl, he’s dangerous——“
“——Barty wouldn’t hurt a fly!”
I watched as she ignored me and stepped just before the door. Barty’s coal-like eyes stared up at hers, and she quickly let out a cry like she was in pain. She leaped backward, falling onto her butt, yet only a second later she was up on her feet and running as far away from the front doors as she could.
I turned towards the rapid footsteps coming from the direction of the office to see a frazzled Lacie throwing her hair up into a quick messy bun as if ready to fight any intruder we had. “What’s going on?”
I avoided eye contact with her while responding. “Barty is here, and Sheryl got too close.”
It was hard not to look at her after being in love with her for so long. I noticed her looking for the chain around my neck, double-checking that I was still wearing the protection pendant she made me. “Did it work?”
Our eyes connected, and I looked away while shrugging. “I didn’t want to take the chance of not wearing it knowing what this store throws at you.” It did not prevent heartbreak, I’ll tell you that much.
“Can I use your telegraph?” spoke up Barty.
“Wrong century, demon,” snapped Lacie. She crossed her arms and locked eyes with him. “And I told you not to come back.”
Barty and Lacie bickered back and forth for a few more minutes before the being suddenly disappeared, angry that his wish had once again not been fulfilled. Lacie looked away for a split second to catch something the poltergeist threw at her, and then he was gone. Barty is part of the reason why Sheryl will never get her own keys to the store. We’ve even let Gary have his own set, but we just can’t trust Sheryl not to open it to any number of creatures we have to deal with on a daily basis. Barty seemed unaffected by Lacie’s protection and diversion spells, and we all know how successful her spells are based off of the last entry.

I really need to shut up talking about it, but its all I can focus on. I think I just need some time to think, so I’ll talk to you guys later.

9:54 p.m.
Ayo, yo, whaddup, guys? It’s Gabe here. Jared said I could type up the conclusion. You guys have no idea how hard it is to type when you don’t have a physical form. Finding the right amount of pressure to press the keys and not completely demolish this keyboard is tedious. The pain is all worth it for you guys, though. You’re always there for us, so I want to be there for you.
Just look behind you.
I’m just kidding. If I really wanted to visit you, you’d have no idea about it.
There’s been a strange vibe around the store today, and I’m not sure why. Everyone just seems…off. Even me. It took me 20 minutes to check a customer’s single item out earlier because I couldn’t remember how to open a plastic shopping bag. We’ve all been stressed, and there’s just this feeling of darkness over us.
I hope things improve, and I hope you guys keep coming along for the ride!
Peace out!
submitted by thatreallyshortchick to Odd_directions [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:45 MisterSnippy The Intermediate Self

In the small town of Zesceil, Kyssla Silverwing had dusted off the ethers of sleep, and with belayed horror, realized a certain undeniable truth.
 
The previous day, the Level 17 [Maid] had expected the weekend, and the coming week, to be filled with relaxation. The Terscales had taken a temporary reprieve from town, giving her ample time to tend to her own personal desires.
 
Kyssla had planned to do some gardening, as it was her great interest. She loved to tend to plants and care for them. There was a satisfaction in watching the seeds grow into a virile flowering plant, into helping all forms of life flourish and change. She had even levelled from her work, becoming a Level 6 [Gardener].
 
However, when she had risen in the morning, Kyssla had encountered a problem that was unsolvable.
 
On this day, she was no longer a Level 17 [Maid].
 
Kyssla Silverwing was a Level 52 [Spy of Becoming].
 
 
Kyssla took a glance around her humble place with fear and longing. The room she had cared for and loved now carried with it a sinister character. It was a simply furnished space, but she had enjoyed how the yellow walls twin'd her scales, how when it rained, it pitter-pattered softly against the glass windows, and how when it snowed, the glittering powder fell gently upon the colorful cobbled streets below.
 
A single tear fell from her eye, a crystal of emotion, bringing with it a coming storm.
 
"I'm real."
 
There was never a more childish, but uniquely cognizant statement to come from living beings. It was an assertion inviting no room for query. A declaration meant to reassure herself of her own being. To keep a fractured Drake whole.
 
"I'm not going crazy."
 
"I'm not going crazy."
 
Then a sudden pause cutting short her murmurs, brought on by realization.
 
"I am crazy. I am a crazy person."
 
The 28 year old Drake took a deep, shaking breath, raising her trembling claws to wipe away the tears that stung her eyes and sullied her dress. As if the action would make her stronger in this moment, giving her the strength to continue forward.
 
"A-Ancestors."
 
Was there ever a Kyssla Silverwing?
 
 
The Skills she had spent her entire adult life building had vanished. The joy of her level-ups and progress in her Class, smashed to naught. Kyssla had not even the 6 Levels in [Gardener] that brought her so much satisfaction.
 
Kyssla realized how dire her situation truly was.
 
Who was she, really?
 
She moaned with emotional pain. Trying to force air into her stricken lungs.
 
Was she just the product of a Skill?
 
The tremors in her hands refused to subside, adreneline eternal. The [Spy of Becoming] drew closer to the horrid thoughts, to the root of matters, the false core of things.
 
Was she even a Drake?
 
It refused to leave her, like a demon taking hold. The distrust of her reality grew ever stronger. The young woman spiraled further down.
 
She might not even originally be female. Every memory, every wonder about her life was most likely a flawed assumption.
 
"This is all an illusion, it has to be. I-I'm real."
 
There were now many Skills possessed by her, from being a Level 52 [Spy of Becoming]. But only one Skill made her shiver. That singular Skill terrified her, and she wished there were a way to deny it, to destroy it.
 
[Become New Identity]
 
She had to be real. The Drake looked around at her abode, at the history here. This space had been inhabited by her for a years time. She sent back letters to her parents, she spoke with friends. The seasons had changed, from winter to winter. These comfortable worn walls kept her safe and happy.
 
She had to be real. She looked fondly on the times she whiled away here, she enjoyed working for the kindly Terscales family. It was a great fortune for her to be able to be a [Maid] here. The pay was mediocre, and the work challenging at times, but the lodging and food were free and she was never refused a day off. The other [Maid]'s were nice, and she had levelled 3 times in the past year from her work here.
 
She had to be real.
 
She
 
Had
 
To
 
Be
 
Real
 
 
A [Monk]'s tranquility came over Kyssla Silverwing. She had parents. She remembered her parents. She knew where they lived.
 
The journey from the City of Color, Zesceil, to Reiln was a long one. Never before had she so desired to make that same journey in reverse. The memory was still there, of the adventure from her home city to Zesceil, of the winding roads the wagon went down, of the other towns she had passed. A journey where she transformed from the nervous Drake hailing from the small town of Reiln, into the Drake who was finally coming into her own.
 
Her feeling was of loss, as she truly loved this city. Her possessions weren't many, and the time it took was short, for her things to be packed. All emotions fit into her small suitcase. The walls of her fortress seemed to become grayer as she went, and a look of conflict took hold in her deep blue eyes.
 
Although her Class had changed, the Drake that it contained had not. For all the mystique and intrigue of being a [Spy] had grabbed her, she couldn't bear to leave without a word. Her lithe claws, worn from a [Maid]'s labours, took hold of the pen with an unnatural stillness, and she wrote a solemn letter apologizing for her coming absence.
 
Despite her desire, it was a herculian task for Kyssla to speak to anyone she knew in her current state. With her Skills, she could become anybody, but at this moment the only person she wanted to be was herself. And she found it unbearable to show those who had treated her so kindly that she was to potentially abandon them in a moments notice.
 
The pink letter was placed with care upon her wooden door, her uniform laid neatly on the bed, and then she took the first wobbling step of her journey.
 
 
The air had a harsh smell to it, as she stepped out of the manor and onto the streets of the City of Color. Her breathe created its own fog to accompany the empty silent mourning. The sun had not yet risen, and so it was of the hour when even ne'erdowells refuse to stalk the painted streets.
 
The recent snow seemed to absorb all sound, making her feel incredibly self-conscious as she plodded through the glittering stuff, towards her destination. The Driver's Guild. Normally she would follow the lines painted on the roads to get to her port of call, but these streets she had travelled well.
 
It was a day's journey to Reiln, and Kyssla remembered that it had felt like an eternity to arrive here the previous year. In fact, she now recollected that she wore the same clothing upon arrival, as if this were all a circle.
 
The City of Color was a city she would never forget. It hurt to even think about it. She still beheld the desire to stop and look closely at every mural dotted around the city, at every building painted with care. Everything was colorful here, including the people within.
 
She reached a trembling hand to her coinpurse to check for the fifth time. More than enough coin for her to make the trip to Reiln and back. Within her was the hope that she would be making the journey back. The Drake bit her lip nervously, nearly drawing blood. Reiln.
 
Soon enough the building for the Driver's Guild came into sight. It was a modest stone building, as they tended to be, and the orange stone invoked the rustic sensation of home, just to lay eyes upon it. Kyssla was sure that for many it invoked in them the same emotion. For most who needed to travel, the Driver's Guild was a way to get home, and home was always a welcome sight wherever one may find it.
 
Creak.
 
The Drake's claws pried open the door with a jitter. It was warm inside, and the [Maid] made sure to quickly and quietly shut the door, afraid the air would escape. At the desk was a young male Drake with bronze scales. He didn't recognize her, and it wasn't due to her Skills.
 
"H-hello? I'd like to make a trip to Reiln, fast. I can pay, please."
 
She plonked a few coins down on the desk and looked the man in the eyes. Her look must have been truly tragic, because the [Receptionist] gave her a startled glance, and then ran to get a [Driver] from some location closer to the stables.
 
In almost no time the Drake returned. She could tell that adreneline was rushing through his veins. Things were probably fairly slow here, and a request like this uncommon for a town like Zesceil.
 
"Follow me, Ma'am. This will be a priority, you'll be in Reiln as fast as we can get you there."
 
A wave of relief washed over her as she followed the man out to a carriage that was already waiting for her. Any number of Skills could have made her keep her composure, but instead, she climbed inside and started to cry.
 
 
The [Driver] was making quick work of the journey. What had been a day's time, seemed to be cut closer to 4-5 hours. By some means, the trip still felt longer than her first arrival. It was a smooth ride too, which made her nerves worse. Just her and the inside of the carriage, seperated from the world outside.
 
Scenery flew by the window, so different from a year ago. As the carriage travelled, she too travelled back in time. All of her worries started to meld together. Like broth for a stew, her thoughts percolated.
 
It was agony, to wait. The polite [Maid] didn't want to impose upon the carriage [Driver], to request him to go faster for her worries. Her parents. She would see her parents, or at least observe them from afar. It no longer mattered to her if they were her parents, or if she had taken the identity of someone else, she just needed them to exist.
 
Already she missed the painted brickwork of Zesceil. It was her ideal city. As a child Kyssla had heard stories, and more than any of the Walled Cities, it was Zesceil that called to her. Regardless of how this ended, she wanted to bring her parents back with her to the City of Color. It was a selfish desire, but that was all she wanted.
 
A pit positioned itself deep in her stomach. The [Spy] took a glance out the window and saw her destination was near. Her internal sundial moved closer to nightfall, as the Drake beheld Reiln. She had lived here for most of her life.
 
 
Getting through the gate had been no issue, the [Guards] hadn't even taken a look inside her carriage. The walls should have given her a feeling of safety, but instead it made the anxiety worse. Kyssla then realized with horror, that the [Driver] was taking her directly to her childhood home, not to the guild. He must have had a Skill for it.
 
Clip clop
 
Creak
 
The wagon came to a halt, then the door opened, a wall of rarefied light. The [Driver] said nothing, and at this moment that was all she desired. It pulled away, heading to the guild, she was sure. The shaken [Maid] felt silly as a feeling of unhappiness washed over her. That man had a schedule, and she had just ruined it.
 
Crunch
 
Crunch
 
Kyssla's legs involuntarily carried her through the snow, closer to that sacred destination. Then they stopped so suddenly she felt her knees pop, as she noticed her parents through the window, preparing for their day.
 
The house was as she remembered it, every brick in its place, every spot she used to hide in. The garden was still there, albeit the snow hadn't been treating it well. The city still held its familiarity.
 
It hit her. She was Kyssla Silverwing. She had no memories of how she became a [Spy], no scars, no old injuries. No hidden letters, no old secrets. She was simply herself. All along, whoever she had been, she had really wanted to be the Level 17 [Maid] who did a bit of gardening in Zesceil. Who missed her parents and wanted them to come be with her there. Who had a sunny disposition and took whatever life threw at her in stride.
 
She hadn't used [Become New Identity] to spy on the family or to be someone else. She had used it to become herself. To wipe away who she hadn't wanted to be, the [Spy], and live the simpler life that she had always wanted. She was the true Kyssla Silverwing all along.
 
With a deep breath her emotions steadied. The world made sense. Then, the [Spy] was gone, and the Level 18 [Maid] raised a claw to the worn wooden door, and she knocked.
 
Knock
 
Knock
 
Knock
 
It opened, and accompanying the expression of surprise and happiness on her parents' face, she spoke the simplest worlds in the world for her now.
 
"Sorry for the sudden intrusion, I've come home to visit."
submitted by MisterSnippy to WanderingInn [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:07 xxtngompbp 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/a376hvwxhwpa1.gif
Author's note, part 2: I have noticed, and some other authors have commented on, the gang of trolls that seems to obsessively downvote new stories en masse for some reason. I guess this is the literary equivalent of vandalism. It's always easier to tear down than create. On behalf of those of us who are sincerely trying to create entertaining stories for the readers, please stop! I'm not sure what you're getting out of it, unless your own stories aren't getting good ratings. Maybe spend the extra time improving your writing instead? If anyone sincerely doesn't like what you're reading, by all means downvote it. Perhaps include a comment why; feedback is helpful and anonymous downvotes don't really help improve quality. On the other hand, if you like a story, take the extra two seconds to vote for it. The good ratings help stories get a broader exposure, so more readers can enjoy them. And maybe we can overcome the trolls!
Chapter 33
I was worn out after my session with Emily and Nina, and fell asleep soon after. I’m not sure what, if anything, happened later that night. I was dead to the world and woke up hours later in the morning, sore and sticky, but one very happy camper. I snickered to see my piss shoot in several directions as I took a morning leak, the end of my urethra glued together with dried cum. The force of my stream finally opened it up, and I sighed gratefully as my bladder emptied. I was a little startled when Samantha squatted next to me in the bushes, draining her own bladder unselfconsciously. I watched out of the corner of my eye as her dark lips were bisected by the spraying golden stream, an altogether entrancing sight.
“Morning, sugar,” she said with a yawn, jiggling her ass to shake loose the last drops. “Did you sleep well?” She stood, stretching mightily on her tiptoes, tightening every last muscle in that sculpted ebony body of hers.
“Oh, yeah,” I said, shaking my dripping dick off. “I was worn out. As usual, you girls take a lot out of a guy. I’m not complaining, though. As exercise programs go it was pretty fucking awesome.”
She gave me a kiss on the cheek. “I think you can consider yourself an honorary member of the team, now. You’re welcome back any time.” She padded off. “I need some food. It sucks we don’t have coffee on this island.”
She was right, I mused. I wonder if we might find some coffee plants if we looked hard enough? It did grow all around the Indian Ocean. I made a mental note to discuss it with Janie.
I poked around the food stores, picking out some fruit and leftover salad for breakfast. Girls were stirring around the clearing, and I spied John and Logan untangling themselves from a pile of field hockey players. The two headed my direction, looking a little like a couple of mice in a roomful of cats. Very attractive cats.
“Good morning, boys,” I said. “Sleep well?”
“Not really,” said John. “Different girls kept waking us up to make us fuck them.”
“I’m so sore!” complained Logan.
“Yeah, it’s a tough life,” I laughed. I noticed they were already hard just from waking up amongst all the naked female flesh. I gestured at John’s protruding cock. “Part of you doesn’t seem to mind.”
He looked down and blushed, still not used to walking around naked in front of others. “I’m not complaining.” He grinned. “I’d do it all over again if I could.”
“I just can’t believe I’m not a virgin any more,” marveled Logan.
“And to turn in your V-card in such a spectacular fashion,” I said.
“God, look at them!” he muttered, eyeing Danielle and Mary, who were still sound asleep near the fire pit. Mary was on her belly, an arm thrown over Danielle protectively, ass bare. Blonde curls were visible framing the pink lips between her legs. Danielle was on her side, her breasts turned toward us, and her thick brown pubes on display for the boys to ogle.
“To think, I got excited last month to see Marcy Taylor’s boob when I got a peek down her shirt.” He spun around slowly, his erection rotating around the clearing like a missile launcher tracking bogies. “Now there’s naked girls everywhere. I can see right up into their pussies!” The kid was in heaven. “And they let me touch them.” He was shaking he was so fired up.
“Someone’s up this morning I see,” Janie said from behind us, making the boys jump. She looked impishly at the stiff penises pointing at her, impulsively grasping each of them in a hand. The two teens nearly leapt into the air at her touch.
“G-good morning,” stuttered John, staring at the delicate hand encircling his throbbing young shaft. “Are you gonna let us fuck you again this morning?” he asked, a hopeful note in his voice.
She smiled at him kindly. “No, I want to get back to camp to see Jared. I’m sure you can find some young thing to take care of your problem.” She gave a gentle pull on each pud, then let go. “Dave, are you ready to head back? Or do you have more fun planned this morning?”
“No, my balls are empty. I need some down time. I’ll go back with you.” I turned to the boys. “Have fun; we’ll see you later. Remember: keep this place private. You need to respect the girls’ privacy if you ever want to get laid again on this island.”
“We know,” said Logan. “I can keep a secret. Besides, I don’t want Chris and the other guys to get to come here. I want to keep it for ourselves as long as I can.”
“Good luck with that,” I chuckled. “I have a feeling that these girls are going to cut quite a swathe through the male population of the island.”
“Probably half the female population, too,” Janie observed as we turned toward the path leading home.
After dressing, we took a casual pace strolling back to the beach, holding hands and maintaining a companionable silence. After ten minutes or so we had reached the main camp. Janie caught up to Jared at Boys’ Town, and he soon had her embroiled in some fast-paced card game with a couple of the younger boys. The game seemed to consist of a lot of slapping cards and yelling, and proceeded at a frenetic speed.
I saw a couple of folks swimming in our newly shark-proofed lagoon, and Rodney, Sharon and Jill were out on the raft fishing again. I sat with Joelle for a spell in the medical hut, talking and checking out her new sutures. She had done as I had suggested, peeling some tendon fibers off of one of the pig carcasses and stringing one on a needle. She had managed to save a little of the alcohol before I had absconded with the rest, and had the sutures soaking in it in a plastic bag.
“Those look perfect,” I told her. “Now, let’s hope we don’t ever have to use them.” Thinking of sutures made me want to locate River, and I got Joelle to join me in a hunt for him. We located him under a palm tree near the edge of the jungle, and he let us inspect our handiwork.
“It looks good,” Joelle said. “Does it hurt much?”
“Naw,” he answered. “Mostly it feels really tight. It’s sore, but not bad.”
“Well, I don’t see any signs of infection. Do you, Dave?”
“No, it looks better than I expected. You must be a good healer.”
“I think you’re just a great doctor,” he complimented me. “Thanks for fixing me up.”
“No problem. It’s my contribution to our society here. We’ll plan on taking those out in seven days or so. Don’t soak that leg in the water until then. Just rinses only.”
He grimaced unhappily, liking the water as much as he did. “All right. I don’t want to mess up your fine work.”
Summer approached us with a frown on her face. “Dave, I’ve got some bad news.”
“What is it?” Joelle asked in concern.
“The sow died.”
Joelle gasped a quiet, “Oh, no!”
“That’s too bad,” I agreed. “Are the piglets going to make it?”
“I’m not worried about most of them, I started feeding them some slops and leftovers and they did all right.” She frowned. “But the runt will only nurse.”
“Poor Wilbur!” Joelle commiserated, kind soul that she was.
“What can we do?” I asked.
A bemused smile quirked her lips. “Well, I did have a crazy idea.”
“What?”
“Do you remember a Tori Amos album from years ago that was sort of controversial?”
“Not my kind of music. What does it have to do with Wilbur?”
“There was a picture of her breast-feeding a piglet.” Joelle placed her hand on her mouth in shock, realizing where this was going. “I know that Gabrielle is a wet nurse. Do you think…?” She trailed off, afraid to say it.
“Would she nurse Wilbur like she nursed Dkembe? I don’t know.”
“That’s pretty weird,” Joelle said. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to ask.”
We found the French girl at her small campsite, reading a book. After explaining our dilemma, she surprised us by agreeing without hesitation.
“When I chose this profession, I researched it very thoroughly,” she said. “In des jours anciens—the old days—it was common for les nourrices to suckle young animals as well as humans. It is all about sustaining life. I will be pleased to help this pauvre porcelet.”
We trooped over to the pigpen, sending the larger piglets into a frenzy as we invaded their space. They tore around squealing, still not used to humans. Wilbur seemed subdued, probably a little dehydrated, as he rooted uselessly at his dead mother’s side.
Gabrielle gently picked him up, and sitting with her back to a tree, bared her breast. We all held our breath as she placed the little creature’s snout to her nipple, brushing his lip with it. Without hesitation he latched on, and a contented sigh escaped the girl’s lips as he started to nurse. “Bon,” she declared. “All will be well.”
We watched the spectacle, dumbfounded for a moment, then dispersed to get some help to dispose of the poor dead sow’s body.
“That’s kinda messed up,” said Summer, shaking her head.
“Hey, it was your idea,” I said.
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PORNFIDELITYソフィアグレースは最初のデートで中出しされました
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曲がりくねった継娘ビクトリアは、老人によるアナルファックに誘惑します
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角質の国の乙女アリサとジェシー・ヴォルトは彼らのタイトな嫌いな人をギャップに入れます
私はあなたが大きな負荷を吹くのを手伝いたいJOI
0602つの弱虫のトラニーはナンセンスになります
すべてを示すブルネットの若い女の子
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私が彼の煙のために彼を与えるなら、彼は私にロバを与えますpt2
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私の穴
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優雅な美しさは濡れたオーラルセックスで塊を喜ばせます
美しいエロい女の子が大きなペニスから激しいセックスをする
古いマッサージチューブ
そしてジャロンシートリース
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このふしだらな女子高生とセックスする方法を見てください(tiktoker martiiaciar)
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いたずらな隣人、彼女は仕事に行くように待っていて、毛皮で牛乳を取りに来ました。 .
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もっと激しくセックスして
ソファの上の私の義理の妹からの深いフェラチオ
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セクシーなランジェリーの巨大なおっぱい成熟したベイビーは自慰行為と汚い話をします
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REIFESWINGER-不機嫌そうなハードコアファックで成熟したドイツのブロンドの甘いスージー
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セレナは大きな戦利品n巨大なすべての自然なおっぱいを持っています
61
角質の兄弟のクソ
友達が来るまで喉奥でもっと扱える競争 - kel aguiar - natasha sub
彼女の携帯電話で私の姪の写真を見て
義理の兄弟が自慰行為のビデオを撮る
ダコタ・バーンズ⏩MulishStepsis彼女のボーイフレンドのように彼女のStepBrotherとセックスする
submitted by xxtngompbp to zbff3qcdeu [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:03 rshzjczkma 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/zfbppf0ahwpa1.gif
Another day walking home, wishing that my life would just spark up and become a little more entertaining.It's my sixteenth birthday today, and having getting my own home is not by best birthday present.Although my other presents have not exactly been great, either.My mom and dad both died when I was two; they were driving home on the mountain road, when a rock slide crashed down the hills and collided with the side of the car, spiralling them down the mountain.They both died on impact.
With only my uncle to look after me, I was with him until the age of twelve.My life wasn't too bad then, getting on with school, tring to ignore the sympathetic look of everyone when I expain my story.On my fifteenth birthday, my uncle was rushed to hospital on account of a heart failure... he died three weeks later.With no other relatives to look after me, I was sent out of my uncle's home, sent back to the Isle of Manhatten, where my old home was.I now live there, working in the local pub as a musician entertainer, earning just enough to pay for the rent, and to eat a scarce amount each day.Lucky for me my uncle and parents had a fair amount of money left over, and I inherited it all from them, but it is slowly dwinding to nothing.
This rough life has given my body the skinny look; being a sixteen year old girl, with B sized cups, and a twenty four waist, and standing at five foot three; choppy flame red hair and stormy grey eyes, this gives me a strange look everywhere I walk, then even stranger when they know my past.Im known as the “Cursed Kid,” everyone believing that its my fault for my family's death, giving me a very minimal amount of friends, and no-one to know my true name.
--*--
My head down, walking through the September fog that blankets the floor, my back aches with the weight of my guitar and school bag pulling me down into the ground.Not paying attention to where I am goin is not the smartest thing to do, especially with my luck, as I trip over something thin and pale stretched out across the floor.I tumble across the ground, the contents of my bag spilling out into the streets and my acoustic guitar rolling across the floor.I clamber to my feet, wincing at the grazes on the palms of my hands where I've tried to stop myself from falling, and look over to the cause of my fall.
Stretching out across the pavement was a figure, iluminated by the light of the street lamps above. Thin clothing, with a frail body and sunken features, he is not exactly the prettiest boy in town. However I collected my stuff, watching his shallow breathing as it comes in ragged gasps, and walk over to him, kneeling so I can see his face under the hood.Pale skin, dry mouth and a set of peircing blue eyes, I find that I can't help but stare until the sound of his shaky voice brought me back to reality:
“Can I help you?” he stutters, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper.
“I'm sorry, I didn't see you there” I reply. “Are you alright?”
“Well. considering you just fell on my leg, im pretty damn good for being homeless. No home, no food, life is perfect!” he retaliates, with an edge of spite in his voice.
“Alright, I was just asking. No need to be rude. My Name Is Annabelle, what's yours?”
“I don't know. I can't remember it. I've always been called Echo, so I've kinda stuck with that.”
“Well Echo, would you like to spend the night at my place? It's cold outside, and this fog is only going to get worse.” I then realise what a stupid mistake I have made, I just offered a random stranger to stay at my house! How stupid am I? Yet I still found myself offering this to him, as it just felt right.
“Let me get this straight. You've just met a random stranger, you don't know anything about me, and you are offering me a place to stay. Sure, lets give the stranger a room in our house, so he can bomb the place during the night!”
I twitch at the edge of sarcasm in his voice; he probably thinks I am just messing with him, taking the mick because of his poor life. “Look, do you want a room or not?”
“Wait, are you serious?” His tone of surprise shocked me, as if he wasn't used to someone being serious to him, or any small amount of good fortune.
“Yes, come on, before we catch our death!”
I pull myself to my feet, brush of any the dust on my jacket and trousers, pick up my guitar case and sling it across my shoulder. I then turn to face him and hold out my hand, offering to help him up to his feet.
“I may be homeless, but im not disabled, you don't need to treat me like an old person”
I step away, wondering why I decided to help this guy. He's right, I don't know anything about him, he looks a mes, he smells terrible, he could be someone just trying to steal money! What did I see in him?
--*--
We reach my home, as I open the door and let him in. he takes a couple of steps in, then stare's around, as if trying to look at everything at once. Spiral staircase, 2 three seater sofas with a 36' television and 3 bedrooms upstairs.I laugh at his shocked expression, watching him walk around in circles, as if trying to look at everything at once.I grab his hand and pull him behind me, laughing as he stumbles along trying to keep up as I run up the stairs, leading him to the bedrooms.I stop at the top of the stairs, turn around to se him bent over clutching his stomach, trying to gather his breath.
I notice his tattered clothes for the first time; the frail, ripped shirt hanging loosely across his shoulders; his degraded, tattered shorts that must be at least 3 sizes to small that they barely cover his knees.I then notice his hair: it's a sandy colour, not to dark, not to light, but barely visible under all the cobwebs, dirt and grime that's attatched itself to him.First things first, I think, he needs a shower, and then I will take him clothes shopping tomorrow.
“Showers on the left, you get in then slide your clothes under the door, I'll wash them for you and get you a towel.”
I watch him trudge into the shower, show him what buttons to press, then walk outside as I glimpse a look at his bare skin underneath his tattered remains of a shirt.I wait for his clothes, picking them up from the door, and walk downstairs to put his clothes in the washing mashine as I hear the shower head switched on.I put them in, as well as some of my dirty clothes and start it up, before realising he doesn't have a towel.I grab a towel from the airing cupboard, and head upstairs, only to find the shower door open and my bedroom door unlocked.I rush in, but after the sight of his nacked frame I spin away, covering my eyes and blushing a scralet colour, feeling my face burning with embarressment.
“What are you doing in my room?”I ask, waving the towel in his direction so he could take it, without showing any sings of interest to the fact that there is a naked boy in my bedroom.
“ I'm sorry, I was just looking at your music.”
I feel him take the towel from my hand, then slowly open my eyes and swivel round to find him covered by the towel, his sandy hair all washed and clean, and holding a copy of James Blunt. “Who's this person?”
“Thats James Blunt, one of my favourites.He's quite good, but this isn't the time to be looking at my music display.You need to get to bed to get warm, and then I'll take you shopping tomorrow.We can't have you walking around in those clothes you've got, they bairly even cover you.”
I lead him to the spare bedroom, taking a quick glance at my parent's bedroom, feeling a pang of guilt at my actions.I wonder if they would approve of my decisions?Surely I was only doing what was best, he had no home, no food, I was only doing what I felt was best.With that sense of guilt still wavering inside,I open the door to the spare bedroom; a barren room containing only a bed, a small shelf and stack of empty boxes in the corner.I help him in, making sure he is comfortable before walking out and heading for my room.
“Wait”he says, stopping me in the doorway.
I turn around to find him leaving the bed and walking slowly towards me, his head down, his face crimson.“I wanted to thank you, for everything”I blush at those words, feeling the guilt disappear as fast as it had appeared. Before I know it, he is only standing a few inches away from me, our faces tentatively close, as I feel his warm breath mixing with mine.My thoughts ponder ponder on what he might do, a hug, possibly?It seems right for the situation, I guess.
However as he leans in close, I realise what he is planning; I try to back away, but not nearly quick enough as our lips touch and any ideas of stopping him leave my mind.At this point, time stopped. Everything around me has frozen, the grandfather clock in the hall has stopped ticking, no sounds can be heard from outside, there is just silence, as we stand there, our lips touching delicately and tenderly, as if we are afraid of what might happen if we push the moment any more.He pulls away, his face crimson as time returns and the sound of cars and birds rematerialise out of nowhere.
“That was to say thank you, for everything you've done for me.”
“ You.. You're welcome.” I reply, shaking at that brief, intimate encounter with the stranger in my house.I walk slowly backwards as he remains still, rocking to and fro, as if unsure what to do.I turn and leave, walking as quickly as possibly to my room before I collapse out of sheer amazement.
I close the door to my room behind me, before collapsing onto my bed and thinking about that one kiss the whole night through.The only thought that manages to penetrate my mind apart from his lips was how a boy with such cold skin, such pale features could give a kiss so warm, and so friendly, that made me want to melt into him.With those two thoughts in my mind, I fell into a series of dreams, all seemingly ending with the kiss with the stranger in my house.
--*--
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彼女は私を吸って、私は彼女を撮影していました
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おいしいフェラ
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submitted by rshzjczkma to de7ilctpov [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:03 ydoixultdi 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/kxygc2f9hwpa1.gif
Three more days. That's the thought that kept me going. Three days and I would definitely be losing my virginity. Y'see, I had made a pact with my best friend, Emily, that if neither of us had lost our virginity by our 17th birthdays, we would lose it to each other. Why 17? Don't ask me. It was a pact we made one boring lunch during freshman year. Emily had turned 17 months ago. I, as you've probably guessed, had three more days.
Emily was not making it easy, either. She had always been a major cock-tease, and had stepped up her game recently. She would brush past me, reaching down and grabbing my member as she went. If she dropped something, she would bend at the waist, allowing me a generous view of either her backside or her breasts. Her hips swung as she walked, and she always made a point of walking in front of me.
I suppose I should describe myself and Emily. I'm an average guy; About 5'9", 150 lbs. I had dark brown (almost black) hair, and brown eyes. I wasn't the most attractive but I wasn't unattractive, either. Emily was short and curvy. She might have been 5'3", 125 lbs. She had shiny brown hair and amber eyes. Her slight Asian heritage gave her a nice, warm skin tone. Emily's bust was around a 12 C cup, and her breasts appeared perky. Her ass was wide and round.
Three more days. Today was a hard (no pun intended) day for me. Emily had asked me to get something out of her back pocket earlier, so I copped a feel of her ass. She looked back at me and winked.
"Oh, you naughty boy. You like my ass, huh?" I simply nodded. "I'll remember that." Then she walked away, hips swinging. That night, after school, I got a text from Emily. It was a picture of her ass. She had on pink panties that accentuated her amazing skin. I couldn't help myself; I masturbated to the picture that night.
Two more days. Emily came up to me before school started.
"So, did you like the picture?" She giggled.
"Oh, I sure did. I may have liked it a bit too much." I started to get hard just thinking about the picture. Emily noticed the tent growing in my pants. She gripped it for no more than a second, but I got rock hard.
"Emily," I groaned. "Why do you have to tease me so much?" Emily got an evil glint in her eyes.
"Because I want you as horny as I can get you." And with that statement, she walked away. I gazed at her ass as she left. Damn.
Emily continued to tease me throughout the rest of the day. She dropped things in almost every class, allowing me a whole lot of peeks at her. Whenever she walked past my desk, she would turn so her ass was facing me. It was all I could do to not masturbate in class.
Again, after school, I got a text from Emily. It was a picture of her breasts, this time, held up in a simple purple bra. Unable to help myself once more, I masturbated furiously to the picture.
One more day. Today was Friday. Emily showed up to school in the skimpiest outfit I'd ever seen her wear. She was wearing olive green shorts that barely covered her rear, with a tight, white, low cut t-shirt that displayed her Day-Glo pink bra for all to see. She came up to me before the bell rang. I noticed she was wearing perfume. She leaned in towards my ear and whispered:
"Are you ready for tomorrow? I bought the condoms yesterday, and some really sexy lingerie. You're going to be drooling, I bet." My cock was rock hard in my pants. Emily rubbed her hand against the outline of my erection. She smiled. "Oh, you can expect something later to help take care of this."
Emily was even more of a tease today than yesterday. She made a point of squeezing her arms together so her cleavage was accentuated. Everything she did seemed aimed at turning me on. Damn, was she hot.
Just like the past two nights, I got a text from Emily. This time, though, there were two pictures. One picture was a shot of her sucking on two fingers. The other showed her hand in her panties.
I woke up the next morning to my dad looming over me.
"Listen, son, I know about your little 'pact' with that Emily girl, and here's what I have to say about it..." I waited with bated breath. "I'm so proud of you! You're gonna be banging a hot chick tonight? I can work with that! I'll get your mom outta the house for a few hours tonight, okay?" He grinned and left the room. I felt relieved. I called Emily.
"Hey, Em, my dad's gonna get my mom out of the house tonight for a few hours. He somehow found out about the pact."
"Um, yeah, I told him."
"What?! You told him?!"
"Yes, I did. C'mon, Andrew, think about it. I knew he'd be okay with it. I may or may not have been flirting with him a little, though." I smiled. Emily was notorious for using her looks to get her way.
The day passed slowly. I masturbated whenever I got horny, so I'd last longer tonight. I made sure to clean up my room and have clean sheets, and I showered just before Emily arrived. My parents left about 4:30, which was perfect because Emily was supposed to show up at 5. She'd demanded I dress up for the occasion, so I put on black slacks, a blue shirt, and black tie. I heard a knock at the door. It was 4:59. I walked to the front door and opened it. It was Emily. Before I could say anything, she leaned in and kissed me. Her lips were soft and warm. I felt her tongue enter my mouth and start probing around. I probed back, sending my tongue into her warm mouth. Our tongues wrestled for supremacy, before we finally broke the kiss.
"Wow," I breathed. "That was... amazing." Emily blushed.
"Well, if we're going to do this, we have to do it right." She walked inside. Her outfit consisted of a formfitting sleeveless black dress, 3-inch heels, and a small black purse. We set to work making dinner, which was one of my favorite foods: spaghetti. As Emily browned the meat on the stove, I set the table. I had memorized the silverware placement earlier and set up our utensils without flaw. I poured sparkling grape juice in two tall wineglasses. Then dinner was ready.
As we ate, Emily and I reminisced over times gone by. We'd been friends since 5th grade, back when I was fat and she was a nerd. Now, I was fit (not buff, but fit) and she was a sexy little minx.
Emily had said we were going to do this right. That meant, to me at least, that she would get to orgasm at least once. That was my mission. After dinner, I took her hand and led her to my bedroom. I grabbed her waist and pulled her in for another kiss. She wrapped her arms around my shoulders, and I lowered my hands from her waist to her ass. She pressed herself against me. I felt her breasts squish against my chest, and her pelvis ground against my hardening member. I ran my hands up and down her back, savoring her warmth. I found the zipper on her dress and slowly pulled it down. Emily broke the kiss and placed her forehead against mine. Her breath was warm on my face. Her dress slipped from her shoulders, falling down to her knees. Emily stepped out of the dress, kicking off her heels in the process. She was wearing white, lacy lingerie. Her skin glowed with health.
"Wait a minute," said Emily. "This is totally unfair. I'm almost naked and you're not. I think I should fix that." She walked around me, pressing up against my back. Her arms wrapped around me and started expertly undoing the buttons of my shirt. I had long since removed my tie. Once my shirt was off, she started on my pants. My cock was as hard as it's ever been. As soon as the waistband of my pants pulled below erection, it sprang up, constrained only by my boxers. Emily came back around in front of me. She eyed my groin.
"Well, I guess we need to take care of this, now don't we. God, you're hard!" She knelt in front of me, slowly pulling down my boxers. When I was completely free from my fabric fetters, Emily studied my member. I was endowed with about 5 and a half inches, nothing extraordinary.
"Not an ugly dick, by any means. Nice length, color..." She ran a finger along the underside of my shaft, and it twitched. Emily giggled, her cheeks turning red. "You're certainly happy to see me, huh?" She licked her palm and reached for me, gripping my rod in her warm hands. She began gently running her closed hand up and down, twisting ever so slightly. It felt heavenly. I looked down at the lingerie-clad goddess in front of me. She was completely engrossed by her task. Her amber eyes were focused on one thing: the hard-as-a-rock member in front of her. Eventually, Emily stopped her action. I looked at her, puzzled. She was holding my rod near-vertically, moving her head towards my... oh. Emily ran her tongue up my dick, making me shiver with pleasure. She licked up my shaft, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. Again, she stopped. I leaned my head back; I couldn't wait for what would happen next. Emily let go of my cock. I felt something warm and soft slide over my glans. I looked down at Emily, seeing her lips wrapped around my member. She began moving back and forth, not missing an inch between the ministrations of her tongue and lips. Her hands explored my groin, running through my pubic hair and fondling my ballsack. As Emily pushed my rod deeper and deeper into her mouth, I felt a warm feeling start creeping from my balls to the tip of my cock. The next three things happened near spontaneously: I moaned, my dick jumped, and I came. Emily, feeling the twitch, had pressed 3/4 of the way down my shaft and ran her tongue over my glans, guiding the sudden onrush of semen into the back of her throat. She retracted from my sopping rod and swallowed. Then she burst out laughing.
"God, I've always wanted to do that!" I couldn’t help but smile. She was just so adorable. I pretended to play dumb.
"What, exercise total control over a man?" She kept on laughing, pausing only to choke out: "No, doofus, suck you off! I've fantasized about you so much..." That made me pause. She, the hot one out of the two of us, fantasized about me?
ビッグティットブロンドベラインク婦人科検診は、タンパ博士@ GirlsGoneGyno.comによってスパイカムで捕まえられました! -タンパ大学フィジカル
吸う美女
蒸し暑いブロンドのティーンはお手玉の椅子で降ります
BIG COW MOMMY HUG ME TIGHT AND WARM BETWEEN HER HOT BREASTS - アウレリア ギャラリー Vol. 18
変態パラモアのお尻は彼の女性のものと性交し、彼女は口腔中出しを取得します。
この小さな赤毛のふしだらな女が彼女の喉を犯される
魅力的なプレイガールは、男最大のロッドを空腹に丸呑みしています
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巨大なペニスの男に侮辱を入れて愛らしい女の子は彼女自身のハードファックを与える - ホームビデオを
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メキシコの妻のクソパート2
剃毛した口唇裂を持つ天使は後ろからハードコア交尾を楽しんでいます
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ストッキング姿のATMタトゥー美女が3pで二穴挿入される
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オフィスで熟女を叩くと夏のオマンコが濡れる
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Two super hot nieces Aria Banks and Riley Jean are competing for their 's love in this scene where the two teens end up in a threesome!
Uber の乗客がドライバーをハードコア ボンデージに招待
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家族旅行で大きなマ○コを舐め尽くすレズ義理の妹たち~全編
ジャネットは彼女の大きな垂れ下がったおっぱいと毛むくじゃらの陰部を犯した
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ソファの上でクソスカートのブルネット
女性の魅惑的なギャングのための男性のストリッパースリングディック
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金髪のイギリス人若い女性カーリー・レイが後背位と中出しのために腰をかがめる
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私はガールフレンドの家に来て、彼女の大きなお尻のお母さんをスパイします
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TeenPies - Beautiful Teen Allie Nicole Lets a Big Dick Stud Cum Inside Her
いくつかのホットプッシー舐め熟女とスウィンガーズ乱交
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素晴らしいガールフレンドのケーシーカルバートは家でファックします
エッチなカップルの情熱的なクソ - 自家製
厄介なグループフェラチオポルノビデオ5
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美しいステップシスターは私のディックを吸って、おっぱいに絶頂を取ります
別の踊り物
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十代の金髪はバスルームでディルドに乗るこれは私たちの最も異常です
ひよこの熱い毛皮のパイはtされています。悪意を持って
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私の元ガールフレンドの猫とお尻をファック。
指で温めるとフィストファックになります
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フェラチオ
甘い最愛の人は彼女のフェラチオとジューシーな猫で塊を喜ばせています
ディープストローク獣医トート。彼女のクリーミーな猫に来ました。
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兼で覆われたアイルランドのアマチュアのお尻
Retarded Step Brother convinces to fuck
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ヨガティーンはコックのために広く広がります
14回のザーメンを詰めた巨乳ブラジル人マンコ、ティナファイア輪姦中出し
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アマチュアタイの十代のガールフレンドは彼女のトレーニングの後に彼にフェラチオを与えます
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牛乳
submitted by ydoixultdi to 4jzn566l23 [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:01 kbeujghlpf 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/k4hvagnzgwpa1.gif
MY SISTER & THE EXCHANGE STUDENT PART 8 THE ARRIVAL
My beautiful sister Rachel had fed me dinner in our, soon to arrive, guest’s new bed; her kind ministrations, an attempt to make up for her previous molestation. Rach had left me to go return the tray of dirty dishes to the kitchen. I could feel some strength returning to me; the food and long nap having done their job.
I gingerly stood; my legs managing with only a slight wobble. I spent a few moments getting myself steady, and then walked slowly to Rach’s door. I went to the bathroom, needing to relieve myself, and decided to take a shower to wash away the last of my aches.
I heard the door open and close softly, and then Rach’s voice, full of concern softly say “how are you doing?”
I pulled open the curtain, revealing her, sitting on the vanity, her legs swinging off the edge; a look of mingled worry, and regret on her face. “Much better, thanks” I said brightly, trying to un-furrow that beautiful brow.
“Do you want to come in?” I asked, pulling back the curtain further.
“I don’t trust myself, and you need to rest” she said dejectedly, looking at her feet.
I stepped from the shower, and cupped her face in my hands, lifting it to look at me. “I’m fine Rach” I said softly, then, seeing no relief in her expression, added “Really!” and leaned over, pulling her into a kiss. I felt her melt, the stress she had inflicted on herself, draining from her. As our kiss finished, I pulled back enough to look into her eyes. No worry showed; her guilt still remained, but as she smiled sheepishly, and I could see it was no longer the troubling kind.
“You still need to rest, and I still don’t trust myself with you” she repeated, though now with a smile. “Besides” she continued “I need to get everything ready for Lidia.”
Although I had known Lidia was coming, this reminder that she would be here tomorrow still jolted me. What, a week ago, had seemed an eternity I could not stand the wait for, now threatened something. How would we be able to continue this amazing new relationship with our privacy so clearly compromised? As is usually the case, these thoughts cascaded through my mind in an instant; the momentary absence of my attention going, apparently, unnoticed by Rach.
“Tomorrow’s the big day hu?” I asked, attempting to cover my concern.
“Don’t worry” Rach answered, seeming to reading my mind. “I won’t let anything take you away from me” she added fiercely; jumping off the counter, and into my arms. She squeezed me so tight, I wondered at how much strength her little body held. I squeezed her back, and we stayed glued to each other, neither one wanting to be the one to end it. Eventually, we broke our embrace, and with a quick kiss, I went back to my shower; Rach going to get things ready for her new roommate.
As I made my way to my bed, I could see Rach busily rearranging her closet. She had on another of my old t-shirts. As she reached for something on the top shelf, I could see her fantastic ass peeking out. I had a sudden thought, “when did she start wearing my shirts?” I seemed to remember that shirt on her now had gone missing a while ago. I reminded myself to ask her, knowing her guilty admissions exited us both.
I pulled my computer to my bedside table, happy with the simple intimacy of watching her. As she left her closet, she glanced at her computer and, seeing me, came over to it. “Good night Big Bro” she said with a soft smile, and then leaning in, kissed the cam and finished “I love you” in a whisper.
“I love you too Rach” I answered, my heart swelling with joy at the happiness my words had brought to her face.
I continued watching Rach flutter around her room, and fell into a dreamless sleep. Ready for tomorrow, and all that it would bring.
I woke up before my alarm, my anticipation of Lidia’s arrival bringing me out of my sleep with a jolt. The first thing to meet my eyes was Rach’s face, on the webcam, sleeping; her lips, slightly parted, giving the impression of a breath exhaled in passion. I stared at her, captivated by the peaceful beauty.
Feeling my cock engorging, I contemplated whipping one out. I saw I had 35 minutes before I had to leave for practice, and was just getting started, Rach’s lips, all the fuel I needed, when I had a stroke of genius. Rach would have our toy on! I could make the imagined, panting breath, escaping her little pink lips, real. I fumbled excitedly for the remote, my hands shaking.
I sat in my bed, legs spread; my computer in front of me, by balls inches from the keyboard, and pressed 1 on the clit vibe. I saw her eyes flutter, and couldn’t quite make up my mind if I wanted her to wake. There was something illicit about watching her while she slept that made my heart race. Not quite sure what I wanted, I left the vibe on 1, sure that 2 would wake her, and make my decision for me.
Rach’s eyes continued to flutter slightly. They remained closed, but I could see motion under her lids. I heard a sigh, and looked to her mouth. Her lips had parted further, and I could see her tongue twitching where it rested on the inside of her lower lip. She started to roll away from the computer, and I was afraid I’d lose my view of her perfect face, but she stopped on her back. In perfect profile now, her lips showed even more expression of her unconscious arousal. With each barely audible intake of breath, they pouted slightly, giving the impression of an expected kiss.
Even with the slow stroking I had been giving it, my cock was so hard under the soft sliding skin that covered it, that I was amazed I hadn’t cum already. Too greedy for a good ‘climax’ of this show to accompany, what I was sure, would be an epic cum, I pushed the clit vibe to 2.
Expecting Rach to wake up, and hopefully continue the spectacle, I watched nervously as her head slowly tilted back, her neck rising off the pillow. I looked up to the eye I could still see and, though fluttering more forcefully, her eyelashes now joining the movement, they remained closed. Her head tilted farther, and though I could see nothing below her neck, I was sure her shoulders had lifted off the bed as well.
Rach’s mouth opened further as her head went back, her lips now wide enough I could imagine my dick sliding between them. Her breath, now a soft pant, was slow, but jerky, catching several times with each inhale. Feeling the twitch that warned of my, fast approaching, orgasm, and in a slight panic that I would not get to pair it with Rach’s, I threw caution to the wind, and bent close to the mic to whisper “Cum for me Rach…Cum for your Big Bro”.
I was astounded by the reaction. Rach arched even further, her head almost upside down, and eyes fluttering madly, exhaled a stuttering moan, shaking as she rocked back and forth on the top of her head.
The sight of Rach cumming, and the indecent thought that it was without her consent, or even her knowledge, set my cock off like a fire hose. I was used to hard cums, having experienced many lately, thanks to Rach, but I had always cum, spurting one jet after another until I ran dry. This time, my hand at the base of my cock, not stroking, but gripping it tight, I came in one continuous, incredible, heart-stoppingly long single gush. Frozen, my hips lifted off my bed, I watched dumbfounded, as a solitary, seemingly unending column of cum arched up over my head, only to fall, landing all over my stomach, chest, and bed.
Coming to my senses, I turned to see Rach still arched upside down, a silent frozen scream gripping her shaking sweaty face. My initial instinct to hurriedly turn off the vibe encountered resistance just as I prepared to push the button. This view, my sister beyond orgasmic endurance, was so mesmerizing, I guiltily watched as she hovered there, quivering, in a cum sustained rigor.
My heart in my throat, I watched as Rach’s eyes stopped fluttering, a still life of orgasm for my pleasure. Momentarily mastering myself, I turned off the vibe, and was mostly relieved to see her long held breath, exhale in a whoosh as she collapsed, twitching, back onto the pillow. As her twitching gradually subsided, I was caught up by this unimagined sense of control; my touch of a button had released her from her frozen fit. Could I…should I…dare to reassert my control?
Unable to stop myself, I pushed the button twice. Rach’s eyes flew open, shock and fear replaced in an instant as the subsided twitching, crescendoed in seconds, to shaking, then uncrontroled spasms, her head leaving the cam’s view in pulses as her muscles pulled her upper body off the bed.
I was so enraptured by the sight, this fit of extassy, that I lost any ability to control myself, allowing her fit to continue unabated, until she herself ended it, plunking backwards, passed out, her raged breathing the only proof that she was alive.
I turned off the vibes, a mixture of wonder and guilt surging though me. The feeling of control was so intoxicating, I could see myself getting addicted. I looked back to Rach, checking for sure that she was O.K., and then turned away to get ready for practice, a glance at the clock telling me I had no more time to spare.
Practice and work seemed to drag by, my thoughts perpetually wandering to the imagined moment when we picked Lidia up from the airport this afternoon. I was still unsure of just how much Rach had shared with Lidia about our new relationship, but had decided to trust her and go with whatever happened.
The purgatory of my pool time finally ended, and I biked home like the wind, knowing we (our mom, Rach, and me) were supposed to leave for the airport shortly after I got home. I skidded to a stop in the back yard, letting my bike fall to the grass, and went through the back door into the kitchen.
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仕事の前にそのお尻を打つ
ティーンハメ撮りファックオーブリースカイ908
熟女の妻は眠りにつくと彼女の裸を取り去り、非常に豊かなお尻に犯され、彼をミルクの中に残します
友達と楽しんでいる妻。
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遊び心のある美しさエリスファイアはワイルドなセックスを楽しんでいます
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魅惑的な法定年齢のティーンエイジャーは、スタイリッシュな男とフックアップする方法を知っています
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私の縛られた従順な奴隷の女の子のHDで大きな中出しを解放する
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submitted by kbeujghlpf to peqqeoczdc [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:01 ieappqhvhx 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/uo0imtdwgwpa1.gif
An unfortunate accident kept me away from the computer for a long time, but I'm all healed up and ready to get back to writing. I just hope I am as close to where I was writing wise before my abrupt disappearance. So after over an 8 month absence, the story of Rita and Randy Stevens continues right here, hope you enjoy it.
I stirred in my sleep, waking up when I felt something push at my chest over and over, to the point where I had to address the issue. With blurry eyes I looked through the darkness until they adjusted enough to clear up the image in front of me, Rita with a grin on her face.
“Lets get em!”
I smiled to myself as I drifted back to sleep, wondering just what Rita had going through her head, and what she planned to do to mom and Aunt Lisa. I could already tell it was gonna be a day to remember.
--------------------
I woke up again, this time on my own, in a room filled with daylight to see Rita in the same position she was in only hours ago... on her side, looking me dead in the eye, grinning.
“Have you been laying like that all night?”
“Nope, just woke up like five minutes ago, and remembered what today was.”
“You know what you're gonna do to them?”
“I have some ideas, but we have all day to figure it out. I cant wait! This is gonna be fantastic!” Rita screamed as she rolled on top of me and started bouncing up and down, getting me a little excited.
“Wait, dad might still be here. Lets go check first before we do anything.”
“Oh Randy you're always worrying, you gotta live a little. You know if you weren't so cute I would've left you a long time ago,” she joked as she got up and headed for the door.
“You'd miss all this and you know it,” I joked back as I hit her with a pillow.
I lay there for a second trying to get a grip on the situation. We had a free pass at mom and Aunt Lisa and yet I couldn't think of anything to do to them, hopefully as the day went on I could come up with something. I dashed toward the bathroom and cleaned myself up real quick and headed downstairs to see mom and Aunt Lisa had made a big breakfast spread; eggs, french toast, sausage, bacon, ham, biscuits, rice, even hash browns, they went all out. I was suspicious immediately knowing exactly what was going on, but it wasn't gonna work, not today, not a chance in hell, no beans, hell no, nope.
No.
“I know, I did the same thing when I came and saw it,” Rita said.
“Were not trying to suck up, its just to say to at least be fair, nothing too extreme,” mom said.
“Says the woman who worked us like a puppet over and over again,” Rita responded.
“You can go easy on me, I wasn't as bad as your mother,” Aunt Lisa jumped in.
“Please, you were her right hand woman, don't play innocent,” I followed.
We all sat down and started eating the humongous breakfast laid out before us. The tension in the room was finally in our favor as neither mom nor Aunt Lisa knew what to expect.
“Time starts as soon as dad leaves just so you know,” Rita said through a mouthful of food. “Wait is he here now?”
“Unfortunately, he had to leave a little early this morning, of all days,” mom said.
Rita's face lit up. “Perfect, then time starts right now and ends at midnight, and since it starts now, I think you both should strip naked, right now.”
The look on their face was worth it even if they didn't strip down, mom especially. “What? You cant be serious, your dad could walk back in here at any time!”
“We both know he never comes back after he leaves until he gets off work mom so don't even try that. Those are really nice outfits, but they'll look even better on the floor, so strip!” Rita commanded.
I could tell Rita was enjoying every last bit of this, she knew exactly how to get a rise out of the situation, and out of me, man did she look hot giving them orders. Eventually, mom and Aunt Lisa knew they were beat and stripped down to their bra and panties, mom in black and Aunt Lisa in red, both looking like they came out of a Victoria's Secret catalog.
“Its only one day Anna, then after that we'll get them back,” Aunt Lisa reassured mom.
“Yeah but until then you have to do what we say, and trust me there's gonna be a lot of stuff you're gonna have to do; embarrassing stuff, funny stuff, stupid stuff, the list goes on,” Rita gloated.
We went back to eating breakfast and I quickly noticed how much quieter it had gotten, Rita had them right where she wanted them, and they were intimidated, but me I haven't done anything yet, except sit back and watch Rita get in their heads. I would have to get involved, this is way too golden of an opportunity to pass up. I eyed everyone at the table; mom had a “I swear I'm gonna get you back you little hussy!” look on her face staring at Rita, Aunt Lisa kept looking up at every little sound hoping dad wasn't coming back through the door, and Rita had the biggest grin on her face as she ate her food, and her nipples were rock hard (yeah I definitely noticed that). It wasn't anywhere near cold in the house (at least for us it wasn't) so I knew that wasn't it, she was actually horny, and her being horny was making me horny, so much that I wasn't even hungry for food anymore, I wanted to eat something else...
With breakfast over we had mom and Aunt Lisa clean up everything and we headed upstairs, and on the way I picked Rita up and carried her to our bed, ready to devour her sweet little body.
“Mmmmm wait Randy, not just yet.”
“What do you mean not just yet? Now is the perfect time!”
“I have a plan. Trust me, I want you too, you know I do, but I wanna make it as torturous as I can for mom and Aunt Lisa, we won't get this chance again. Trust me, it'll be that much better.”
As much as I wanted to take her right there, the look in her eyes when she said that told me it was best to wait, so I reluctantly calmed myself down as we both went back downstairs.
We sat on the couch watching tv, not really paying attention to what was on, but waiting for them to finish cleaning up the kitchen. When they were done, they picked up their clothes and tried to rush past us to go upstairs, but we all knew it wasn't gonna happen like that.
“And just where do you two think you're going?” Rita asked.
“Were done with the kitchen, so were going upstairs to relax,” Aunt Lisa said.
“You can relax down here, sit down and watch tv with us.”
“I'm guessing we don't have a choice,” mom said.
“No, not really. Come on, whats the worst that can happen?” Rita grinned.
They dropped their clothes on the stair landing and went to sit down on the other couch, but once again, Rita had another trick up her sleeve.
“Wait, before you sit down, I have a little surprise for you,” she said as she reached between the couch cushions and pulled something out. “I know how kinky you two like to get, so we have some toys for you. One of you gets to wear the nipple clamps and the other gets the buttplug, your choice.”
They both looked astonished, but not put off by the idea. While it was a good plan on Rita's part, she had one flaw in it, she left them a choice on which to choose. If I learned one thing about mom and Aunt Lisa its what turns them on. Aunt Lisa loved to have her tits played with, nipples too, no matter what it was you were doing, she loved it. Mom was an anal freak, plain and simple. I don't remember a time since this whole thing started that she didn't have something up her ass. It was obvious which toys they were gonna pick, and I was right, mom went for the buttplug and Aunt Lisa went for the clamps. Since this day was supposed to be torturous for them, I couldn't just sit there and let them get their little moment of pleasure knowing what I knew, so I had to step in.
“Oh no, I don't think so! You don't think were stupid do you? Mom you get the clamps and Aunt Lisa you get to have the buttplug, oh and one more thing, they have to stay on all day, unless we say otherwise. If we catch you messing with them, lets just say you won't like the outcome.”
Their little glimmer of hope faded as their small plan backfired on them. We watched as mom took off her bra and put on the clamps as delicate as she could, giving us a devilish look as she did, and Aunt Lisa push her panties down and slowly inch the buttplug inside her tight ass, she was too focused on trying not to push it in too fast and hurt herself to pay attention to us.
“Ok, I think we've done enough, for now,” Rita said as she turned back on the movie.
They sat down on the other couch, Aunt Lisa slower than mom, and watched the movie with us, we didn't like what was on so I channel surfed until Rita saw a movie she liked.
“Ooh go back! Lets watch that! Put it on Monsters Ball.”
“Monsters Ball? Whats that? It sounds stupid.”
“Trust me, you'll definitely like it,” she said grinning.
I flipped it to the movie about five minutes in, and noticed that Halle Berry was in it, ok now I had a reason to watch it. It started off really slow but then started to pick up a little.
“You two don't even feel guilty about doing this to us do you?” Aunt Lisa asked out of nowhere.
“Nope, not in the slightest. After all the things you did to us, payback is long overdue. Besides, we haven't even DONE anything to you yet,” Rita smiled and looked back towards the tv.
“Since when did you start to be so cunning and deceitful?” mom asked.
“Well you are my mother, so I guess its genetic. I should say thank you.”
“Thank you for what?”
“You'll find out, real soon.”
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submitted by ieappqhvhx to 3324zavudq [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:00 paixsinbic 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/sl2e5ppsgwpa1.gif
This chapter has a lot of talking, so it might be a little boring to some, but all the talking is necessary to set up for the finale.
I spent another two weeks in the hospital after the doctor told me of my miraculous recovery, two more weeks of rank food, boring days, and lonely nights in that room. The only upside besides visiting hours was that I had my phone, so I could video chat Rita every day. Ashley even came in after visiting hours on some days to keep me company, she most likely paid off the staff, but it was still a nice gesture that she made the effort to come see me. I went through countless tests, sleepless nights, and tons of other hospital stuff, but it was all worth it in the end, because the day finally came when I was able to go home.
Since I was leaving that day, the doc let everyone come in early to get me. I was up early and by time everyone got there I’d already showered (washed up in the sink), packed all my stuff up and cleaned the room of any evidence I was in there, the only thing I had left to do was sign the papers. Everyone showed up except mom, who was at home making me a big welcome home breakfast as I was told.
“Ok, everything is all go here, all the tests are done and submitted. Once you sign the release papers, I’ll release Randy with a clean bill of health,” Dr. Garrett said entering the room.
I couldn’t sign the papers fast enough. I grabbed a pen and signed everything as fast as he flipped the page around, but dad took his time in an attempt to mess with me. Once he finished Dr. Garrett looked it over, smiled, and shook mine and dads hand.
“He’s all yours, I wish you both the best of luck.”
“Thanks for all your help doc, I would say see you soon but you work in a hospital soo…”
“I know what you mean Randy, take care of yourself, and your sister.”
“Thanks doc, will do.”
Everyone helped me grab what little stuff I had and we walked through the hospital and out the front door. After being in a room with no windows for so long the sun seemed extra brighter than it usually was, but it was a good feeling having the sun touch my skin again.
“The same thing happened to me when I first left too,” Rita said.
“It feels like I’ve been gone for years, everything looks brighter,” I said.
“That’s what happens when you spend three months locked in a hospital,” Aunt Lisa joked.
“Yeah well believe me I don’t plan on doing that again.”
“Ok everyone let’s get home, your mother is just about finishing up your big breakfast right about now, and the Wilson’s are coming over for dinner,” dad said as we got to the car.
I put my stuff in the back and hopped in the back seat with Rita as we drove off from what has been my temporary home for the past three months. Everything we drove past seemed like it had just been built, or we were in another city, it all felt different. As I stared at everything out the window I felt Rita’s fingers interlock with mine as a turned just as she leaned her head on my shoulder. I leaned back into her and just soaked it in, happy that at least one thing didn’t change, that she still wanted me as much as I wanted her. As we neared our house we came up on the spot that almost changed our lives forever, the ice cream store. It didn’t frighten me or anything, but it did give me this eerie feeling, knowing everything that took place there.
“We don’t have to go back if you don’t want to,” Rita said.
“No its ok, I’ve had enough time to get over it, I will stick to going in the daytime though,” I said.
We pulled into the driveway and I got out of the car and soaked it in, I was home, I was finally home. I went in and immediately smelled breakfast cooking, and then mom came running around the corner and gave me another death grip hug.
“My baby’s home! My baby’s finally home!”
When I say death grip, I mean death grip. “Ok mom, if you don’t let me go you’re gonna send me right back to the hospital,” I coughed out as she choked me.
“Sorry honey, I’m just so happy you’re home. Well I know you wanna put your stuff up and get to your room and all but breakfast will be done shortly so don’t start anything just yet.”
“Ok, just yell up there when it’s ready and I’ll come down.”
She bounced back into the kitchen and I took my stuff upstairs and into our room for the first time in a very long time. It was spotless. It looked like a room on display. There was nothing out of place except for a blanket and pillow on the floor.
“I haven’t slept in the bed since Ashley’s party,” Rita said as she came up behind me.
“Haha, neither have I,” I laughed at the simple irony.
“Do you really think we’ll be able to trust her, I mean fully trust her?”
“She made a huge flip personality wise. Not even she is that good of an actor. With what she’s done so far and everything she promised to do I think eventually we can.”
“What about Becky, Carina, and Dana?”
“I can’t speak for them, I haven’t seen them since the party, but no doubt Ashley told them what happened so they’re definitely aware of the situation.”
“They were her sidekicks, they did everything Ashley did, they copied her behavior…”
“So maybe they had a change of heart like Ashley did, but if not, I don’t want anything to do with them. Enough of that, I wanna play one of these games the new Ashley got me.”
“Let’s play a co-op so I can play too, we haven’t played together in a while.”
I sifted through the games and found a good one. “Monster Hunter 3 it is then.”
“RANDY! RITA! BREAKFAST!” mom yelled up the stairs.
“Well so much for playing now, we can play after breakfast I guess, I’m starving anyway.”
“You said you didn’t plan on anything today anyway, so we can make today a relax and play video games all day while we get fat on junk food day,” Rita said.
“I like it, but let’s go get fat on breakfast first.”
We went downstairs and into the dining room to see mom and Aunt Lisa sitting in front of a humongous spread of breakfast that was big enough to feed a small platoon of soldiers.
“You think we have enough mom?” I joked.
“I told you I was gonna make you a huge breakfast, it doesn’t get any bigger than this!”
“Yeah really, even with as much as we eat that’s a lot of food between the four of us.”
“That means there’s plenty to go around, you’re gonna need your strength,” mom winked.
Before I could respond dad came into the dining room in his walk around the house clothes, and it was well past time for him to go to work.
“Dad aren’t you gonna be late?” Rita asked.
“Nope, the office called and gave me the day off while they get my new office and papers in order, so now I get to feast on this gigantic breakfast your mother so patiently slaved over.”
Almost immediately I saw both mom and Aunt Lisa frown. I couldn’t believe it, I haven’t even been in the house for an hour and those two nymphos were already thinking about sex. Clearly they didn’t count on dad staying home so whatever plans they had were now down the drain. Rita cracked a smile in her seat as she glanced at both mom and Aunt Lisa, pretty much gloating that their attempt failed, and I had to admit it was kinda funny, but if I knew them, and I did, neither mom nor Aunt Lisa would let it end like that, but with dad here I was pretty much safe, I just basically had to stay out of their rooms alone and I was good to go.
“Are we gonna look at the food or are we gonna eat it!” dad said as he piled up his plate.
We all took dads cue and dove into the massive breakfast mom laid out for us. She had bacon, sausage, that other kind of sausage, eggs, waffles, rice, and french toast, we all had to get a second plate just to get some of everything. I wasted no time eating as I was already starved from going to sleep hungry last night and not eating anything this morning, and I didn’t care how sloppy I looked eating, I had some real food, and I was taking advantage of it.
“So your promotion is official now dad?” Rita asked.
“Yep, as of today I’ve officially made partner. They’re setting me up at the office now.”
“So Ashley’s father bought the house after all?”
“Not just that one, he bought one next to the beach and a high rise downtown, he pretty much guaranteed me a spot in the big boy office.”
“Remember, new car, bigger TV, way bigger allowance among other things,” I said.
“With as big a raise as I’m gonna get that probably won’t even be a problem.”
“Then I want a raise in my allowance too,” mom said.
“To what, infinite and a half? You’d do nothing but shop all day.”
“Isn’t that what life is all about for a woman, getting the things she desires?” Aunt Lisa asked.
“To a certain extent, maybe I should cut you off for a month so I can…”
“Rita why don’t you let Tibbles back in the house,” mom said cutting dad off.
She laughed as she got up and went to the back door and let him in. he came barging into the dining room and crashed into Rita’s chair, then sat down and waited for a piece of food.
“He’s a lot bigger than the last time I seen him, well not a lot but it’s noticeable,” I said.
“Time goes a lot faster for a dog Randy, three months is like two years for him,” dad said.
“What else have I missed?”
“Nothing really, it’s been really quiet around here with you and Rita not here. That’s how it’s gonna be when you two finally decide to move out,” mom said sadly.
“Those were different circumstances honey, we had our minds occupied on Randy’s health, now that he’s fine, we don’t have to worry. When they move out, we party,” dad said.
“I didn’t know old people could still party,” Rita joked.
Mom gasped. “Don’t you ever use the O word in this house!”
“We’re barely twice your age, still in our early thirties,” Aunt Lisa said.
“I’m just kidding guys, you actually look better than a lot of people our age.”
カビットとカントゥタン
トレイシー・ナガビはひざまずいて自慰行為をします。
コンドームなしで私のディックをすべて濡らした髪のバスルーム内のブランドでおいしいものを手に入れました(赤で完了)
私の甘い毛むくじゃらのマンコの女子大生は、教会の礼拝の後に牧師とセックスします
十代のかわい子ちゃんStaciJaxxxはコックを叩き、大きな顔を取得します
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小さな女はコックをむさぼり食う
逆ウォッチからの
いくつかのお気に入りの大きなディルドをクソ
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熱い蜂蜜は明白な喜びを与えています
ナストふしだらな女はセキュリティガードをファック
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マッサージパーラーポルノ
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プティタマンダパック
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2人の熱い女の子が1人の男に激しく犯された
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官能的なカップルは、ハードレールの前にエロティックなオーラルセックスを楽しんでいます
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同性愛者のカップル
ナチュラル masterbation プッシー
配達人(ウィル・パウンダー)は(ジア・デルザ、アヴァ・シンクレア)と激しい3Pアナルアクションをします-リアリティ・キングス
義姉妹レイナデラクルスは からサプライズクリームパイを手に入れました
義理の熱い妹は完全な汚い手コキを与える
ソロの楽しみ-xcamweb.com
食欲をそそるハイヒールポルノシーン2
HDモンスターの黒いコックは小さなタイトなアジアの猫を台無しにします
インクを塗ったラティーナレイチェルミランダは異人種間の二重浸透YE050を取得します
ブロンドBBW(アナベル)は彼女のすべての曲線と巨大なおっぱいを披露します-真のアマチュア
DAP宛先。 Kristal Kaitlin(Vinna Reed)の最初のDAP、強烈なDP、4回の飲み込み。最高のCzの1つ
驚くべきブロンドは厚い刺し傷を処理する方法を知っています
ひょうでうめき声をあげる
これらの3人の女の子は激しくねじ込みました
ExxxtraSmallセクシーな小柄なラティーナは巨根を吸う
ベイビーはウェットマッサージを楽しんでいます
姉のチンポをしゃぶるのが好き
BBW成熟した彼女の猫はレズビアンティーンに食べられます
制限された奴隷は満足する必要があります
やさしく自分に触れると、飽くことのない巨大な濡れた猫が2回絶頂します-クローズアップ
Exgf口中出し
到着時に姿を消した:奴隷訓練は満足に変わる
カミングチャレンジハード
無料の懲罰ポルノ
サドマゾヒズムの写真
Giada Sgh Test The Snake Handmade DIldo Size L and get 80cm
大きな片目モンスターファックティーンポルノ
プレミアムぶっかけ-シェリーヴァインは69の巨大な一口のザーメンを飲み込みます
踊るもの
ホテルで素人カップルが犯して投稿をお願いする
4'11 85lbsローラフェイは彼女のタイトな猫を激しく突っ込みます
幸運な男は彼女の曲がりくねったムラートの妻のお尻を中出しします
ジャーコフ
Real Japanese Group Sex Uncensored Vol37-詳細はjavhd.net
セクシーな黒人BBWはBBCスタッドとセックスするのが大好き
Homemad XXX Desi FUCK in Doggy style clear voice me
SmutPuppet-年配の男性が若い猫の編集を手に入れる
角質のハゲ男は小さなはつらつとおっぱいで細いブルネットの猫をなめ、犬のポーズで彼女をファック
スローモーション脂肪腹
キキ・フェラルがむち打ちされ、老人に犯される
ステイシー ブルーム ピュア フィスティング セッション。
スタッドがジェイラ・デ・アンジェリスのオマンコと嫌いな人に侵入します。
プリンセスハッスルイージートートfrワッツ
古いクーガーはザーメンを取ります
ボインの熟女マンディ・スウィートは彼女の巨乳に精液を詰め込みます
精子を愛するラティーナがbbcに犯される
巨大なおっぱいとレトロなブルネットの女子大生
『マスクde本物素人』クラシックバレー女の子は、リスカの嵐、メンヘラ娘の軟体180度開脚生ハメ『個人撮影』個撮オリジナル119人目
バンギングビューティーズティーンアナルゲイプパーティー
夫が休んでいるときに義理の兄の巨根をファックして、私の猫のハイライトで絶頂
ズキズキするオーガズムへのスーパースロービッグクリトリスプレイ - 巨大な猫
FapSis4K- Pervy Skinny Blonde 若い女性 Step Sister Orgasms POV - Sweet Sophia
大きな戦利品チョコレートディオールがディックを食べる
リッチなお尻
いたずらなフリークガール(ケーシーカルバート)は彼女の猫のセックスを入れますmov-11
ホットディック
足フェチ, 足コキ, 足奴隷, 足ジョイ, フェムドム, 性奴隷 足奴隷, セクシーな足, 足の裏ジョイ, 足舐め, 足の匂い, フェムドム, 足崇拝, 熟女の足, 手コキ, 彼女の足が大好き, MetroFetishModels, 黒い足, ナイロンフィート
小柄なスポーティな若い女性が走った後、大きなペニスに襲われる-クリスティーナ・リオ
素敵なレズビアンの巨乳ベイビーがロンドン川のキスをし、教室で指マンをする
甘い蜂蜜のための光沢のある襟
戦利品の恋人
巨乳の白い湯たんぽは彼女の中に黒いチンポが必要
若いカップルはシジュウカラとセクシーなブロンドの成熟したぽっちゃりと三人組を持っています
狡猾なブルネットの蜂蜜カロライナの大人のおもちゃ彼女のタイトなプーンタン
レストランのテーブルの下でのフェラチオJOIスペイン語オーディオ
六十九の前に美しいレズビアンのはさみ
クランプされた乳首の赤い頭の可愛い人が犯される
甘い最愛の人は湿ったフェラチオで男シャフトを鑑賞しています
ヘアリープッシーインディアンMILFマッサージ
前立腺マッサージャー充電式アナルプラグ30スピードアナル大人のおもちゃwhatsapp / call- 9883652530
お尻を食べてマンコをファックパート2
私たちの最初の関係のビデオをコンパイルするのは、アナル、オーラル、そしてガールフレンドとのボケテだけのホットファックです
ランジェリー痴女はdomから鞭打ちに服従します
【国内】麻豆メディアワークス/ MDX0227-私から学びたいジュニア002 /無料視聴
姉妹の友人は彼にソーピーマッサージをします23
オクシは車の中で夫のチンポをしゃぶる
私の甘い歯
彼氏と料理を楽しむスワティナイドゥ
エッチな先生と看護師によるダブルチーム
HijabFamily - ヒジャーブの処女のイスラム教徒の義理の姉妹が義理の兄弟と性交する - Maya Farrell
欲求不満の英国人 ミシュカ・デブリンが変態教師に体を捧げる
Cee Jayy と Chloe Temple をフィーチャーした The Fit Freakk Fuck をご覧ください
ジューシーな十代の可愛い猫リズテイラー72
角質の熟女は極端な肛門が必要です
角質タイティーンソロオナニー
ボインの成熟したレズビアンDeauxmaストラップオンファックMILFソフィーマリー
【主観&自撮り】 地雷彼女のあと主観で見る着衣セックス
ハードコア ポルノの とともに モンスター ブラック コック
男を見て老人は彼の妻を喜ばせる
ランダム男フェラティーンデポhdソロこれらの女性はのマスターです
彼氏が僕を犯して2秒で中出しして彼の精液を隠そうとする
痴女はオーガズムへの道に乗る
秘書シエナデイ激しいイマラチオ&フェイスファックセッション
ティーン ソックス ホヤ と 足 マスター スレーブ 初めて 正式に a
LETSDOEIT-義理の父が義理の娘の滴る濡れた甘いおまんこをファック(リンダ・スウィート)
非常に熱い石鹸手コキ22
(Alexis Fawx、Maddy May)(Van Wylde)がチェックインに到着するまでガレージの周りで指をファック-ブラザーズ
ミス・マジックはシャワーで熱く濡れた指マンをする
自然な黒檀のレズビアンの猫を食べる
vape フェラチオ ふしだらな女 食べる 精液
BANGBROS-ラテンベイブコサメダッシュの大きなお尻で老人ジャックムーアスラング老人ディック
太ったお尻
リルお尻
小柄なブロンドが1つをこすります
Sweet Butt Banged Red Pepper Heart Ass Fucked&Creampied!
熱いアジアのプレイガールはとても荒くねじ込まれている間彼女の心を失います
エミリーウィルソン初めてのDP、ボールディープアナル、マンハンドル、ラフセックス、口内射精GL139
おっぱいとお尻ショージンジャー Free Leaked Exclusive
別の友達を楽しんでいる妻
ずさんなオーラルジョブと曲線美のティーンからの完璧なファックセッション
ホットブラックセックス
彼女は「あなたが私の中に中出しするまで私を激しくファックする」と言いました-ハードなロマンチックなセックス
逆さまのベイビーはオーラルセックスをします
アマチュアウェブカメラプッシー無料アマチュアプッシーポルノビデオ
ニチは非常に情熱的なホームキャスティング
男は座って見つめます
ホットファック熟女
新品後
トゥルー アジアン アナル Vol 24
角質の男は、いくつかの本当のハードコアの喜びのためにセクシーな売春婦を支払います
ホットな大 のガールフレンドがアナルを学ぶ - どうすればこのディープを受け入れることができますか
彼女の顔に精液を詰め込むことはプレイガールに恍惚とした喜びを与えます
姉妹の友人は彼に石鹸マッサージをします22
彼の古い恋人を永遠に若く保つ方法
乳首を犯される厄介なブロンド
おばあちゃんはベッドの上で若いカップルと自慰行為をしますOLDNANNY
私のスペックとのセックス-OctaviaRed/ Brazzers/http://zzfull.com/bettからフルストリーム
欲望の奴隷:三人組のレズビアンの欲望のエスケープ
バイブレーターの楽しみ
Camsoda - 車の中で2人のホットなアマチュア若い女性が自慰行為をする
ブロンド マイアミことリサ クラークは、シースルーの白いレギンスとノーパンでセクシーなワークアウトを行っています。
彼女のこっけいな彼氏の前で犯された熱い万引きゴスティーン
この女の子は絶対にコック兼食べるフェチを愛している-ミスバナナ
十代のシェーンブレアのための大まかな性交
私の恋人
理想的なレズビアンのニンフォはおしっこをはねかけ、濡れたひったくりを爆破します
バスでクソ厄介なスワッピング
ラフなブロンドの十代の喉と猫の穴あけ
素敵なお尻
とてもセクシーな18歳のゴージャス
オールドm。彼女の若い猫を屋外でいじる
PARÇASdeSAMPAで幻覚を起こしたCwb- 2017年1月
メイドは戦利品で掃除します
認証動画
コックスリーブエクステンダーカバーを楽しむ素人妻
ラテックスのBBWは彼女のおもちゃのボーイフレンドをファックします
コロンビアーナクリーミーな猫
妻からのラフなイマラチオフェラ
クライアントとピアスマッサージ師シックスティナイン
ステップいとこケンドラ・ハートとミスティ・ミーナーにキス
巨乳妻がハードスタイルのセックスムービーを実行-08
男性のポルノスターとセックスすることはいつも私のファンタジーでした
HOTバブルバット金髪露出狂ミアマルコバは彼女のおもちゃが大好き
プールを満たしている間、コンドームなしで隣人と性交する
PornStar Liza VirginLicks彼女の脇の下は彼らと彼女の巨乳に唾を吐きます
私の娘をファックしないでください-プチティーンベイリーブルックは一人で家にいます
サラファーストセックスオーディションホワイトビッグアスファーストキャスティングオーディションビッグバットニュー
Watif Chaturbate
ブラジルの甘い歯
みだらな男性は、彼のいたずらな熟女に滑りやすいなめるおまんこをします。
220号室でファック
美しいカップルは官能的なセックス3を持っています
ExGFブービープレイ
お尻を解放するデボラファンティン
ルーシーv。彼女の傷ついた彼氏の前でアニメ変態フェアリーテイル寝取られ強い
ニンフェットはペントハウスでカップルとセックスします。彼らはオマンコにザーメンを浴びせて全部飲み込んだ。 Vickyspank-Regina Rizzi-MarquesXXX
おもちゃを愛するBBWベイビーはソロアクションを楽しんでいます
美しいブルネットは森の中で男の子をファックしました。
ランジェリーが豊富な妻自慰行為
十代の緊縛
私はあなたを良い犬のように扱います-JOICEI
Angela Sets the Stage - Angela White / Brazzers / www.brazzers.promo/setsからフルストリーム
魅惑的なガーリースカイラーグリーンは彼女のひったくりをなめます
私と私の猫のセックス
ビーチホテルで角質。 RAF067
巨大なコック&ディルドによってギャップされたひもビキニのアナルのみのブロンド。ハイヒールのスキニーATMコック吸盤はお尻ジュース兼フェイシャルを取得します
美しい熟女は、彼女の豊かなお尻を見せているひもでジムで有酸素運動を行います
日本のベイビーはメイドに扮して犯された無修正
Leitinhoがppkinhaを去る... bolivianamimi.tvの完全なビデオ
私の継娘の中でクソとカミング、私の継娘のなんてお尻
欲求不満のおじいちゃんと少年に犯される-ジゼル・モンテス
家中でファック(Xvideos Redのフルビデオ)
stepDADはお金で両方を誘惑します
専門家の成熟したコック空腹の熟女からのイマラチオフェラ
アシュリー・ハントのカムガールが激しく犯される
Sandy AKA Vega Vixen, ブロンド ベイブ ソロ, ディルド, おもちゃ, からかう, 超セクシー ティーザー#1イマラチオ, おっぱい,
私の元とのクソ喜び
レスビープリティガールフレンドアレシアフォックスとおいしいステイシーレズビアンの猫をなめる
セクシーな爆弾が何度も絶頂
インドd。とひも
PROMOアニメエロ劇場ビッグパイプドリーム。トレーラー
英語の先生は2つの堅い雄鶏を得る
ゴージャスな女の子(ケイシャ・グレイ)と大きなお尻がお尻を叩かれるmov-15
官能的なブルネットの浮気指と大人のおもちゃ両方のファニー
いたずらな尻尾が夫を裏切る彼女はとても美味しくしゃぶり、2人のチンポ男に尻を与えた
プッシー無料アマチュアプッシーポルノビデオ
Goddess Kiffa - フェイス フットスツール スレーブは、汚れたフリップフロップをきれいにし、フリップフロップで絶頂し、それを舐める必要があります - フィンダム - フリップフロップで兼 - 足崇拝 - 寝取られ - フリップフロップ - 顔のストンプ - つま先を吸う - ぶら下がっている - 自然な爪 - 絶頂を食べる - 屈辱-
パーフェクト3DSFM変態編集[85](SOUND 60FPS / 120FPS)
アマドールの女王が別のファンのリクエストに答える
私の太ももはこれらのパンストJOIでとても絹のように滑らかに感じます
兵舎の元中尉が私に録音を依頼しましたが、多くの苦情があり、私はお尻に来ました。
法定年齢のティーンエイジャーのセックスクリップを見逃す
(メルセデス・カレラ)巨大な丸い油を塗ったお尻の女の子ハードで深いアナル釘付けクリップ-26
エロい遊びのシックな女の子
リッチファック
TmwVRnet.com-KartinaRina-クレイジーな家族の3P楽しい
私はお尻で私の親友とセックスします
アマチュアパパは娘と彼の指を縛ります
法定年齢のティーンエイジャーは、激しい肛門の仕事をしているときにカムシーンを提供します
彼の継子娘の下着の香り-オータムフォールズ
マッサージディルド
森の中でクソ
古い廃屋でペネロペ・カムと激しくセックスするテリー・ケマコ
ディックを吸う芸術
角質のセックスのためにすべてをしているラテンMILF ---EdJúnior--
彼女は自分の体を見せたいだけです
ボールの深さ
レディーボーイBは美しい
(インディアサマー、リッキージョンソン)-部屋を選ぶエピソード2-デジタルプレイグラウンド
アリスは必死にジーンズを放尿
アリエラとジェニファーとの義理の兄弟の前髪
XnxxJohnプールの男の子はスルーを参照してください
黒いお尻
公爵夫人ダニはブランディマエスの猫をマスターベーションします
甘いヘレナヘイズのためのハードコアディープスロート
私がJOIで拾った新しいパンストは好きですか
ウェブカメラ巨乳赤毛
Dagfs-ベッドで激しく犯されたピアスキューティー
ジェッサ・ローズ(bbc15814)である情熱的な性交の王女
ゴージャスな湯たんぽモナ・リーはハードコア輪姦を楽しむ
LETSDOEIT-ロシアの美人リヤシルバーは彼女の巨根のボーイフレンドと強打するのを待つことができません
お互いにフィストファックするヨーロッパの十代の若者たち
ホットジャークオフ命令
セクシーなラティーナレズビアン巨乳と黒黒檀アフリカレズビアンレズビアン
リアルな 3D FUTA › 4K キャラクター › ゲームプレイ セックス コンピレーション #3
コロンビアのモールで見知らぬ人に下着を見せるホットワイフ・ラティーナ Milf Bhabhi Latina
bj後のシャワーでパイズリホットマッサージ師
パーティーでマスタービューション
ホットベイビーは彼女のゴージャスなお尻を犯される
カウアンラテン成熟した女性14
短すぎるTwerk無料アマチュアポルノビデオ
あまりにもくそーセクシーな混合フリークヘーゼルマリーは彼女の人生でBBCを必要とします
StepBrotherは私の服を引き裂き、罰は私をファック-アミラ・アダラ
インクを塗ったテイラー・セインチュリエと彼女の裸のワルなGFがジェットスキーに乗る
あなたのチンポを私の愛を感じるのはなんて素晴らしいことでしょうStormshadows
エボニーウェットジューシーな猫
無料使用の巨乳ゲーマーバニー-3P
ラティーナブロンドナースクソ
生姜は彼女の完璧なお尻を示しています
味方下着2フル01
Perverted Professor scores with 2 gorgeous Nympho students
ソロガールクリーミー
巨大なコックラムズピンと張ったスナッチ
四つん這いで働いている赤いショートパンツと熱いブロンド
種のための法定年齢のティーンエイジャーavaテイラーセックス
フェラチオと熱い猫をなでる
カップルはソファにビデオクソを投稿しました
ジュリエットヴァンドリーは射精とぶっかけを示しています
誕生日プレゼントの友達と痴女ファック
壊れ物の怒り!物議を醸すPOCAHONTASCARIOCAの最初の公式ビデオで!赤でフルシーンをご覧ください!必見!!!
義理の娘が建設作業員に犯される
大きな assed 大声で うめき声 雌犬 取得 痛いです から 後ろ
巨大なお尻とピンク色の膣を持つ壮大な女の子は、私の巨大なコックが彼女のタイトな猫に浸透することを望んでいます
これらの3人の女の子は彼らのマッサージ療法士によって激しくセックスされました
マッサージルームエロマンコフィストファックと顔面騎乗性的オーガズム
認証動画
角質の巨根はシモナハードセックスを犯した
私の小柄な義理の妹は私に助けを求めて、私に速いフェラチオとファックを与えました
友達d。
submitted by paixsinbic to r37pixaavi [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:00 lmucbipwlf 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

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Cynthia started menstruating a few days ago. So I was in the clear, for a little while longer at least.
After her period we didn't get anytime alone before she got a really bad flu. Aida wasn't even allowed to see her. Cynthia was basically quarantined. I was so eager to see her again. In the meantime, I was going to hang out with Mark and a few of the guys from football.
Mark, being the 'alpha male' of our group, decided we should catch a movie. It was really early on a Saturday we had half an hour to wait for our show. We went into the small game room, more like a hallway then a room.
The guys ran to get into the 4 person racing game. I was last man out being there were five of us. I hardly noticed, across the way we're three middle school girls. One wore black ankle high boots, white knee high socks, a black skirt halfway up her thigh and a tight white shirt that flared out just above her skirt showing a hint of skin between the skirt and her shirt. The top swooped down in a V showing a hint of pink bra.
"Oh crap," I thought, I glanced and my friends. They were oblivious to my plight. Laughing and teasing each other over the racing game. I turned back, the two girls were playing air hockey. The third girl was gone. That was close I guess.
I turned back to my friends and there she stood looking right at me with that smile. This little girl owned me and knew it.
"Follow me, our friends will be busy for a while," she said already walking. She knew I would follow.
Why I followed I don't know. She didn't pull me, not physically. But I could have stayed just as easily if I was tied to a moving train. I walked behind her watching her small hips roll, those knee high socks showing just enough leg to taunt me.
Bella didn't walk fast or slow she glided toward the restrooms. Strolled right into the women's without even looking to see If I was following. The door nearly closed before I reached it and I lunged to catch it. Somehow I knew it would be bad if I didn't follow fast enough.
She glanced at herself in the mirror as she walked on further in. Adjusted her regal hair and went straight into the large handicapped stall at the end. I followed her in.
"Lock it," she said, lifting her skirt to slide her matching hot pink panties down to the floor. She picked them up in a graceful dip then walked up to me and shoved them into my front pants pocket.
"I hope you have a condom this time," she said in a sultry voice.
"Uh, yeah," I replied while digging into my pockets for the one I was carrying Incase Cynthia called for me to come over.
She smiled and unbuttoned my pants. As I pulled the condom out she tugged my jeans down and looked at me.
"Mhmm, so nice to see you this time," said my 13 year old master looking and my dick. "Now take it a little slow you're the only boy I let touch me and I don't want it to hurt like my first time."
"I'll do my best," I responded. She looked so amazing, I'm sure I had an erection the moment I saw my girlfriend's little sister.
She smiled at me more affectionately, and I knew I was smiling back like a fool. "Lift me up," she commanded as she lifted one of her legs to wrap around my waist. I lifted her easily like a toy. Both legs around me. She reached down between us and began to rub my heavy pole against her slit. Bella was jacking me off while rubbing my tip against her opening. I could hear her moisture building up.
She said nothing only watched her hands work my mushroom top turning from pink to red to purple. Now she looked up into my eyes. Her hazel stare sent cold chills down my spine. I could still feel her hands on my shaft as she guided me into her wet slot.
"Mhmm, yes" she moaned as she lifted herself up and down on my staff.
"Oh fuck, Bella your so tight" I couldn't believe how tight she was. She moaned again and kept bouncing. The door into the ladies room opened and there were two girls voices. Bella didn't even slow down.
I couldn't believe I was holding her up so she could rock up and down on my rod in the ladies room.
"Oh fuck," I grunted.
"Was that a guy's voice?" One girl asked.
"Hello?" The other girl called.
She swiftly lifted herself up reached between us and pulled off my condom, I looked down at what she was doing. Her hand was aiming my weapon and pumping it at her target. She was bare of hair down there this time. Completely bare.
"Ugh," I grunted and two weeks of pent up load burst onto her bare little 13 year old slit.
I lowered her to the floor and she adjusted her skirt, opened the door and walked out like nothing. "Met me here after my movie and we can finish what you started," she promised.
The two girls must have been in the other stalls because I couldn't see them. I quickly pulled up my pants and ran out of there.
Mark was outside the bathrooms talking to Bella. He was leaning toward her and smiling his charming smile. He liked her, "asshole". He's way too old for her I thought and immediately knew what a hypocrite that made me. Watching him flirt with her was starting to get me pissed off.
But my queen handled it beautifully, she spoke softly and his smile slipped. Before he could recover and say something else she glided away. Her two girlfriends materialized seemingly out of no where and they walked down the hall into a show.
I walked up to Mark and said, "that one's something special."
He whistled, "she sure is. You can try but she's obviously a prude."
I laughed. Oh, I'll have to tell him one day.
Our movie started 15 minutes after Bella's. I couldn't focus. Once again I had cheated on my girlfriend with her little sister and I knew I would do it again in an hour.
The guy movie was great but my queen would be expecting me soon. How did she control me so? I couldn't puzzle it out. We both knew she had a power over me.
"I'll be back," I whispered to my buddies.
"The best part is coming up now man," someone said.
"Oh, I know and I won't miss it," let them take that however they might. I knew I meant I wouldn't be late to meet Bella.
I went into the lobby. I sat on a bench in the lobby and watched as one movie after another released its viewers. I saw a crowd of mostly women come out of Bella's movie. Several went into the ladies room. No Bella.
Had she left on purpose to torture me? Or did she think I wouldn't be here? The lobby cleared out fast since it was still early and there weren't many people. I stood up to leave, even my movie would be over soon.
"Leaving so soon?" I turned to see Bella standing there in that hot black and white outfit. "I don't want you to leave yet," she said sadly.
"No, never" I reassured her.
This time she lead me down the hall to one of the last theater doors. I looked up, this movie had been playing about a week longer then it should have been. Who would still pay to see this garbage? Come to think of it we didn't pay for a new ticket.
Had she planned this? The theater was empty. And the movie was about 30 minutes in.
She climbed up halfway and picked a seat near the middle. I followed.
She sat down and made a little squeak and wiggled herself a little.
"Your cum is still all on me and it's weird to sit in it," she kind of giggled. "Of course you could clean it off me," she hinted. Resting one leg on the chair in front of her.
I positioned myself in front of her and kissed my way down her body. First down the V of her shirt right down into her small cleavage. Then lower lifting her shirt to kiss her flat belly. I lifted her skirt and lowered my head between her teen legs.
"Mhmm, yes. You know where to, oh yeah" she moaned. As I licked her button, it swelled and revealed itself to me. I would work on her clit, then sweep one long lick all the way up her slit. I could taste our sex juices from earlier. She still had a lot of it. The more I licked the further I noticed the cream had dripped. Even her knee high socks on one side felt damp.
"Oh my cum dripped all the way down your leg," I said amazed.
"Yes, I love your cum on me," Bella admitted. "Don't stop eating my pussy, Joe."
I resumed my lapping. She began to moan. I slow licked her entire slit again and began gently sucking on her love button. I'd kiss it and draw it into my mouth then give it a little suck and lick it back into place. I left her clit for a second while I drifted down and slipped my tongue into her vagina.
Her moans were all indications that she was loving my tongue action. She started to move her legs like she was uncomfortable then suddenly her hands gripped my hair and pushed my mouth up right to her clit. I kissed, sucked and licked. Bella's grip held me there so I repeated again and again.
"Oh god! Oh FUCK!" She shrieked. Convulsing, her whole tiny body spasmed. I gave her little knot one last extra soft kiss and she twitched one last time with it.
"Oh damn Joe, do you do that for my sister too?" Bella asked out of breath.
"Kind of," I admitted. I didn't feel like talking about my sex life with Cynthia.
She didn't ask any more questions. Unlike Cynthia who was very curious about every detail of every sexual encounter I'd ever had. Bella was very matter of fact about it. For her it was like, did you see the sun rise it was nice huh? Done.
I worked my way up her just as I had worked down her body. This time she lifted her shirt over her head and off. I massaged her small breast and pulled her bra down to give me access to her small nipples, they were tiny dark buttons. The areola was barely bigger than the nipple itself.
I lifted her legs around me and positioned my cock at the small opening of her cunt.
"Yes, fuck me Joe," she said.
"No condom. I only had the one," I admitted reluctantly.
"Stick your big dick in my tiny pussy now! God damn it, Joe!" She said insistently.
I pushed in and found her tight love tunnel so wet and ready for me. I worked it slowly, in halfway out almost all the way.
"Mhmm, fuck me harder Joe, I'm not your girlfriend!" Bella pleaded.
I aimed to please this teeny girl. I rammed it in hard.
"Mhmm that's it, fuck me more... Mhmm"
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submitted by lmucbipwlf to casnx06uvg [link] [comments]


2023.03.25 16:00 xfaiwsnhjv 😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

😘👉👌 IF YOU TAP YOU WILL CUM 🍆💦

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

IF YOU TAP HERE YOU WILL CUM

https://i.redd.it/nrpspr9qgwpa1.gif
One Tuesday night during the week of mid-terms, my girlfriend, Rena, and I were taking advantage of my roommate being stuck in a long evening lab session to enjoy a nice, leisurely fuck. Rena was on her hands and knees on my bed, her head down in my pillow, while I moved in and out of her from behind in a slow doggy-style. I was getting close to coming, and had just started to pick up my pace, when someone knocked on my door. I froze for a moment, but Rena reached back for me and moaned into the pillow, "Tom, don't stop. Fuck me, baby." I held still for another moment, but then went back to paying attention to her pussy. Just as I started pushing my cock deeper into her again, the knock at the door came again, a little louder and faster this time.
Through the door, I heard Sandra's voice, almost sobbing. "Tom," she half-cried, half-moaned, "are you in there? I really need to talk!"
Even through the door, I could tell that something was wrong, and I pulled my cock out of Rena and turned toward the door. I started grabbing for my sweats and called out, "Yeah, Sandra, hang on just a sec!"
Rena sat up and spun around on the bed, suddenly furious. "Who's Sandra?!?" she shouted. "Doesn't matter. Tell the bitch to go away!" I was a little shocked at how suddenly she had changed moods again, but as I pulled on my sweats and tucked my still-hard cock inside, she changed her tone yet again. "You know, it doesn't matter. You go to your little bitch if she's so important. I'm done!" And before I knew it, Rena had pulled on her pants and a sweatshirt, stormed to the door, and pushed past Sandra. I stood there in the middle of the room, wearing nothing but a loose fitting pair of sweat pants and a shocked expression, with my friend crying in my doorway, and pretty sure that I'd just lost my girlfriend.
As the sound of Rena's footsteps faded down the hallway, I became aware again of Sandra's now somewhat subdued crying. I turned to her, still a little stunned by Rena's blow-up, and said, "Sandra, I'm sorry, I—"
"No, I'm sorry, Tom," she cut me off. "I didn't know what I was interrupting."
"Nah, it's okay," I lied, badly, "we were just studying."
Then Sandra's crying turned to a half-laugh, half-giggle. She pointed at my still-persistent hard-on tenting my sweats and said, "Yeah, I can see that." That pretty much killed the hard-on, and my cock quickly deflated.
"Okay," I said, "yeah, we were, um, busy. But it's okay. Come on in, what's wrong?"
That snapped Sandra back to the reality that had brought her, crying, to my door in the first place. "Tom," she said as she walked in, "I'm screwed. I'm flunking two of my classes, and I blew my first three midterms this week, and if I can't get my grades up they're gonna kick me out and I have to go home!"
I wasn't sure what to say beyond a trite "it'll be okay," so I just put a hand on her shoulder and listened.
She explained that she'd been falling behind in her linguistics and literature classes, and both those and her algebra midterm exams had gone rather poorly. On top of that, she had also been called into her academic advisor's office the week before for a "pre-probationary" chat, and she'd let the whole thing slip to her sister, who of course passed the information along to their parents. So all in all, Sandra was in a bit of a jam. It was pretty obvious she needed some tutoring help along with a shoulder to cry on, too.
I took advantage of a pause in her unloading to jump in. "You know, I get it. And I want to help. But not here." Sandra looked back at me, not sure what I was suggesting. Then I asked, "Would you let me buy you a cup of coffee over at the coffee shop over on G street?"
She started to object, but I stopped her. "I know we need to take care of your classes, but right now I think you just need to get away from here. When was the last time you got off campus?"
"About three weeks," she answered.
"Then why don't I get dressed, and we'll walk over to the coffee shop. It's a warm night, perfect for a walk. And I think you need a little break."
"Okay," she said, a little hesitantly.
"Okay, great. But, um, I need you to turn around." I grinned at her with my thumbs hooked in the waist band of my sweats.
"Oh, sure," she said, and quickly turned her back.
I grabbed some jeans and a shirt, slipped them on quickly, then stuffed my wallet into my back pocket and said, "Okay, let's go." I opened the door again and took Sandra by the hand, leading her out into the hallway.
When we got to the coffee shop, we sat down at a table and just started talking. Sandra told me more about the trouble's she'd been having with her classes. I told her that I'd been having a bit of a hard time this semester too, but that it was probably self-inflicted due to my being more preoccupied with my relationship with Rena. I admitted that when she'd come knocking on my door, she had interrupted us "in the act," but said it was okay, because it was probably only a matter of time before Rena found another reason to break things off with me anyway. Sandra told me about some problems her mom and dad had been having for a couple years, and that her sister probably told them about her academic troubles to deflect some of the anger away from her. The coffee kept coming, but was really secondary to the conversation. We just sat and talked until almost midnight, when even the coffee wasn't working too well to keep our eyes open. Finally, I paid our small check and left a decent tip for taking up a table for so long, and we started walking back to campus.
Just like we'd done at the beginning of the semester, I walked Sandra back to her room. I didn't think much of it at the time, but we held hands the whole way back. I told Sandra I had a midterm in the morning, but that I'd stop by before lunch to start helping her with some catch-up studying. I turned to go, but Sandra stopped me, and before releasing my hand, she reached up and gave me a little kiss on the cheek.
"Thanks for tonight, Tom," she said. "You were really sweet to me tonight. I'll see you tomorrow."
---
The next day I finished up my test as quick as I could, then hurried over to Sandra's dorm room. Her roommate was still out at one of her midterms, so we sat down on the floor and started looking over the course work she was having the most trouble with. Like the previous night, I didn't do too much talking, but mostly just listened to what Sandra was saying. I wanted to hear what was frustrating her the most, so I might have a clue about where to start working with her. From what I could tell, she was having trouble with the same part of her linguistics course that I stumbled over the year before, and literature was just a matter of having fallen behind in the massive amounts of assigned reading.
We talked about study habits, the distractions of a roommate, and started scribbling down a plan for how to get her caught up in her classes. And before we realized the time had passed, her roommate, Naomi came home. Suddenly, we realized it was nearly four o'clock, and I knew I'd missed my afternoon exam. I didn't say anything about that to Sandra as we traded introductions with Naomi. Then I headed back over to my own room.
Sandra and I started spending more and more time together over the next few weeks. My grades continued to slip a little while my attention was on helping her, but I managed to keep things in the "B" and "C" range for the most part. I got to know Naomi a little better and found out that she wasn't quite so horrible and weird as Sandra had let on; she was more of an 80's throwback to the hippie days of our parents, who obviously had an appreciation for The Beatles, Eastern religion, and the pharmaceuticals that had nearly kept me out of college in the first place. But all in all, she wasn't horrible, just not the best match for Sandra.
Slowly, we started getting Sandra caught up in her classes and on a little better footing academically.
---
After a few more weeks, the week of Thanksgiving rolled around. The campus shut down for the week, and the place pretty much became a ghost town. I was all set to fly home Tuesday morning to spend the week with my parents, until I called home Monday afternoon to double-check all the arrangements. As soon as my dad picked up the phone, I could tell something was wrong. His voice sounded tense, and I was pretty sure I could hear my mom crying in the background.
My dad explained that just a couple hours before, they'd received a call from my grandmother. She had just heard back from her doctor with a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer. They were on their way to the airport to fly out to Nebraska to be with my grandmother for Thanksgiving, and they'd tried to work out a different flight arrangement for me with the airline, but because of the rinky-dink little airport near the college, there wasn't any way for me to meet up with them. So, it looked like I was going to get to spend Thanksgiving stranded in my dorm room. My dad apologized, and said that he would call the bank as soon as they opened up Tuesday morning to have them transfer some extra money into my account to cover food for the week, and that they'd try to call me as soon as they knew anything more specific about my grandmother.
And then we hung up the phone, and I walked back to my room to figure out what I was going to do for a week in a ghost town.
I read a little bit to catch up on my own studies, but that seemed rather pointless on a Sunday afternoon with no classes for a week, so I threw on a light jacket and started walking to the coffee shop. I figured I'd at least get a hot cup of coffee and a sandwich, and then figure things out from there.
---
I was sitting alone at a table in the café, with my back to the door, eating a small sandwich, when I heard the jingle of the bell as someone opened the door. Not thinking any more of it than that, I took a big bit of the sandwich when I heard Sandra's familiar voice exclaim, "No way! Tom, what are you doing here?"
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submitted by xfaiwsnhjv to kb1iis1npu [link] [comments]


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Michael woke up in a daze, confused by his surroundings for a moment.
"Darceline?" he murmured as he sat up, starting to remember what happened.
The clock read 5:02 a.m., alerting him that he had to get home. His parents would be getting up in two hours, and he could not explain where he had been, if need be. He started getting up, reading a passage in the hotel bible before leaving the motel and checking out.
Michael drove home silently, his face reddening as he relived the previous night. He was ashamed, having to go to a prostitute for his first...anything. He had never been with a girl, ever, and gave up trying.
"Darceline," he muttered to himself, a small smile on his face. He had enjoyed her gentleness, and was nervous about her anyways. She had said it was her first night. Could it be true? He wanted to see her again, he had to...
-------------------------------------------------------
Darceline woke up on the couch, her throat sore. She dreaded what her day, mostly her night, would have in store for her.
"Darcy, get the fuck in here!" Jeremy called from his room. Darceline quickly jumped out of the couch, her see-through lingerie swishing around her breasts.
"Yes Jeremy?" she squeaked, standing in the doorway. She could see from there that his cock was hard, and she could see the needle and baggy on his bedside table.
"Look what I woke up with, ready to earn your medicine?" Jeremy asked, the smile on his face making Darceline's heart sink.
"Of course," she replied, approaching his bed slowly. she just wanted to get her fix, but she knew it wasn't going to be easy.
"Get on the bed, bend over on your hands and knees in front of the mirror," Jeremy directed, "and make it snappy."
Darceline quickly complied, and as soon as she did, she felt her pimp's cock line up with her dry little puss.
"I-I-I can't get wet, Jeremy," she whimpered, and she heard him spit on his cock before pushing the head into her tight little hole, grabbing her by the hair and shoving his penis inside her roughly.
Darcy cried out and glanced at the mirror, seeing Jeremy look himself in the eye there. She hung her head in disgust and waited for him to finish. Ten minutes later, she heard him groan loud, pulling out to cum on her ass.
She waited a few minutes as he relaxed before moving out from under him, scampering over to his bedside table and sitting on a small stool next to it.
"You're lucky I don't just make you quit, you little whore," Jeremy muttered, putting his cock away as he moved to the edge of the bed. He tied her arm off easily and opened a drawer in the table, pulling out a spoon, lighter, and little bit of a cotton ball.
Heating up the heroin on the spoon, he placed the cotton in the black fluid and slurped it up with the syringe, sticking it in a barely visible vein on Darceline's inner elbow. She hissed as it pierced her skin and bit her lip.
"Go ride out your high, slut, you have a few hours until work, then I'll pick you up and take you back where you were last night," Jeremy muttered, backhanding her and pointing away from his room.
Darceline quickly scampered out of the room, still naked, and laid down, closing her eyes. She thought about Michael, where he might be, what he might be doing. She stretched, her arms above her head, back arched. Her right hand slowly slid to her breast, softly carressing it with her eyes closed. Darceline envisioned Michael, laying next to her, touching her. Her left hand moved down, to her stubbley honeypot, and slowly began rubbing her clit.
Her middle finger of her right hand swirled around her nipple, making it stand up, firm and perky. She moved to her other nipple, licking her finger before repeating the process. The cold air on her body felt good as she became more aroused, thinking of the cute weird client she had previously sucked off.....
She moaned softly, sliding her left middle finger inside her wet puss, breathing rapidly as she touched herself, her body writhing with pleasure. She moaned again, soft and quiet, as she felt her vaginal walls tighten around her finger. Her voice cut off as she climaxed, twitching a little and closing her legs tightly around her hand, her nails digging into her breast. She left her finger inside, feeling her warm insides throbbing, before getting up and making her way to the shower.
"Michael..." she whispered to her bathroom mirror before getting into the steamy shower, leaning her head against the tile wall...
-----------------------------------------------------
Michael leaned his head on the tiled wall of his shower, the hot water cascading down his body. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't stop thinking about Darceline, that girl...that PROSTITUTE, he had met the night before. She was so beautiful... sure, her raccoon-like make-up was a bit messy, and her hair was a rat's nest, but under all that, he knew she was beautiful.
Looking down, Michael saw his cock twitch, and blushed even though he was alone. He had never been normal about anything related to sex, it was all so embarassing. The closest he had ever gotten to touching a girl before last night was at a wedding.
It was his uncle's wedding, or maybe a distant cousin, and his parents encouraged, more like forced, him to dance with one of the distant cousins present. She wasn't very pretty, but she had a beautiful ass and pretty large breasts for a fifteen year old. He was seventeen at the time, and they danced to one song before parting.
Later that night, there was a DJ and colorful lights in the dark, and everyone was dancing more wildly. The same cousin came up and started dancing with him, her breasts pressed to his chest, arms draped over his shoulders, and he felt himself get hard. His cousin didn't seem to notice, and somehow her lowcut shirt fell a little too low, revealing a little nipple, and Michael immediately came in his pants, groaning. He muttered an excuse about not feeling well and ran away.
"And that was that," Michael muttered to himself, turning off the shower water and ignoring his hard-on. As he dried off, he stopped in front of the mirror and dropped his towel, staring at himself in the steamy mirror. He stared into his reflection's gray eyes, his dirty blonde hair dripping. He was okay looking, and knew that if he were more confident, he'd have a girlfriend like Darceline.
"Darceline...." he whispered to his bathroom mirror, wrapping the towel around his waist and going to get dressed.
-------------(Fast Forward Twelve Hours)---------------
Darceline walked through the door after a long day of work at the strip club, her ass sore from getting pinched and slapped by the scummy regulars she always danced for. She let out a depressed sigh, knowing her night was nowhere near over. As she came into the kitchen, she saw a note on the table.
"Will pick you up at 9 tonight to take you back to your corner, be ready. --Jeremy"
Darceline almost smiled, having three hours to eat, nap, and get ready. But the smile didn't make it when she realized what she'd be getting ready for, to be used and abused. She quickly dumped a can on corned beef hash into a pan, frying it up on the dirty stove of the roach apartment she stayed in with Jeremy.
When the food was done and eaten, she set her alarm for 8:30 and took a long nap, hoping she'd be able to sleep enough to be food for the street, another disgusting drug addict, fucking for money...
----------------------------------------------
Michael walked through the front door of his parent's huge two-story Victorian after a long day of school. He had wanted to take a year off from high-school, but his parents wouldn't have it. He needed to start medical school right away, he needed to be a young handsome doctor and marry a nice girl from another WASP-type family, and give his parents grandchildren!
Michael smirked a little, imagining what his parents would say if he brought Darceline home and presented her as his girlfriend. They'd probably disown him, or have heart-attacks. He walked into the kitchen and pressed a button on an intercom-device.
"Maria, I'd like dinner now. A nice lean steak and some macaroni salad, with a super baked potato, sour cream and all that. Thank you," he said, and sat down at the table. The cook/maid, Maria, came up from stairs to the maid's quarters and began cooking.
Michael wondered if she'd ever blow him, or let him titfuck her, because she was supposed to do everything he asked. He was suddenly very embarassed, and looked down, waiting to be served.
------------------------------------------
Darceline sat on the porch at 8:57, waiting for Jeremy to show up. She had on black fishnets, white six-inch heels, very short ruffled bloomers, a lacey white bra, and thigh-length black pea-coat over it. When Jeremy showed up, Darceline hopped up and got in the car, so as not to keep him waiting. He backhanded her just the same.
"You stupid cunt. Are you excited to go sell your disgusting body?" he growled, pinching her thigh hard. She shook her head and he let go, revving his engine and driving her to the street she had been at the previous night. "Make me some more money tonight, Darcy."
She tripped as she jumped out of the car, and watched Jeremy drive off, speeding. She stood in her usual spot, shivering, and waited.
Fifteen minutes later, an SUV pulled up in front of her, and a feminine finger beckoned from the window. The woman inside looked to be in her early thirties, and was wearing a pantsuit, her hair back in a severe ponytail.
Darceline gave the usual prices, to which the woman nodded and had Darcy get in. The woman drove into a garage a few blocks away, and turned her car off.
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巨乳熟女ペギング黒人少年
愚かな鍬はお尻を犯される
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チェコのヘアリープッシー - オナニーとオーガズムの編集
(ジーナ・ヴァレンティーナ、スコット・ネイルズ)-ポールの働き-リアリティ・キングス
Pissing JP Girls Vol 3
公共のディック吸う
アフリカのタブー-私の新しい妻を私のyと共有する。ブラザー(予告編)
レズビアングループのお尻をおもちゃに
フィリピン人熟女ホット騎乗位。デデで撮影
無料のセックスパーティーポルノ
私の兄弟の友人チャド・アルヴァ、モリー・リトルをクソ
TELEGRAM ID @ VVIPSEXガールフレンドヌードビデオ通話とヒンディー語オーディオパート2
チロフラガはそれをダンナホットのお尻に入れることを想像しています
レズビアンの美しさを外食する英語の熟女
アベラールと熱くクソ
私たち2
ハンクスの光沢のある口唇裂の感謝は、ベイビーを狂気に駆り立てています
金髪のパイズリ釘付け
逸材 SEXのために生まれた雌狐と交尾 髪フェチ 引っ張り 髪射 髪こきフィニッシュ シャンプー ドライヤー 美乳 素人 個人撮影 ハメ撮り シャワー ドライヤー 髪こき 髪フェラ ver さくら 21 OSAKAPORN
インドからのエロタントラレッスン
美しい友達
1515901738018
屋外のロマンチックなセックス
アベラの至福の DP
男ミリオネアを犯した - ジェイド・カンハオ
ジャック・ネイピアの義理の妹がザーメンを飲み込む
NURUMASSAGE Smokin'Hot Masseuseアサ・アキラはタイトなオマンコで彼の巨大なペニスを扱うことができません
この雌犬がアナルをファックして絶頂を飲み込むのが好きな方法-ヤラロシャ-フロティーニャポルノスター-
勃起薬よりいいよ カリーナとルーカス
ゲイブラックセックス-ハードコアクソ18
インドの夏は彼女の娘のボーイフレンドとワイルドなセックスをしています
足フェチとトイレゲーム
黒いコックを吸うイケメン
黒人の妻はラテンディックを吸う
無料の乱暴なグループセックスポルノ
ゴージャスな自然のおっぱいを持つブルネットのティーンカタリナテイラーは、ソファで激しくドキドキします
モニークはアナルシーンで彼女のお尻にハメ撮りスタイルを掘削します
わんわんの良いセックス
私の妻が彼女の親友の夫から受け取った素晴らしいザーメンの編集
蒸し暑いクリッシーリンのStepsons大規模なウィーナー
イタリアのアマチュア
私の老婆後背位をクソ
ミチモンスターパンゲルビル
アブジャローカルホテルで私のシュガーミイラをクソ
白い男は熱い白いゲットーベイビー22をファックします
ホット三人組は極端な情熱を解き放ちます
アダルトタイム-POVJewelz Bluはあなたを吸い取り、後ろから彼女を中出しさせます
巨乳黒ビッチドレイニングフェイクエージェントの白チンポ
クリームクイーン
naked student rubs her pussy on the pillow until real orgasm, real homemade
30cmホースコック
見栄えの良いブルネットの若い女性ターニャはよく吹く
ニキータのハメ撮りホームムーブフェラ
キャラピタを食べる2
MMVFILMS角質脂肪ドイツのアマチュア
恋人は彼女の張り詰めた洞窟を角質の男性と共有します
私の金持ちの女子高生娼婦の は自慰行為をし、ビデオを送ってくれました.彼女はふしだらな女で、すぐに私は愚かなメキシコの女子高生娼婦のために彼女の豊かな猫を牛乳で満たすつもりです
チェーンでの乱暴なセックスは、入れ墨されたサブバイ カトリン テキーラの悲鳴とクリーム GP328 を作ります
ビーチに行く前にビキニの隠しカメラフィルムの女の子
貧しいアマチュアは彼女の小柄な猫でおもちゃとコックを動作させます
初めての DP 3on1 Makarena Ira 巨乳痴女が彼女の穴に 3 つの大きな雄鶏を入れる EKS004
どこでパパを傷つけるべきですか?
彼はモーテルの鏡で私の上に彼女を見ました
smalltitsと大きなお尻を持つアジアのインク万引きティーンはロスプリベンションオフィサーに犯される-オーブリーアイス
雌犬のディックを食べる
かわいいラティーナが犯されて顔をしかめる
殉教
神年のラビリントス Route10 Scene1 字幕付き
最もホットなpukejobビデオ汚いずさんなフェラチオパート11
「私はあなたの本当のお母さんではないかもしれませんが、私はさまざまな方法であなたの世話をすることができます」
あなたが見たことがないようなTUSHYアナル
セクシーな熟女は日焼けしたstokinghsでセクシーな長い脚を示し、巨大なお尻を突き刺します!
Miss Mars Orgasm Research Inc、Sexy Med Time Lapse、GirlsGoneGyno.comで映画を見る
分析されたサマンサ・ローンは縁取りされ、ギャップがあり、お尻が犯されます!
ボインの女性は2つのコックをジャークオフ
Trashyビーチティーン(Karina OReilley)がPOVに犯される-Mofos
ブエノスアイレスのカップルの親密さ**インスタグラムKellenzinhaBR
FOOT FETISH JOI - 就職面接。
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のどが深い良いヘッドカー
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マンコ穴へのハードで深い浸透
【フル動画】バスケ練習試合終わりにそのままラブホに行って新鮮なバスケ終わりの汗の匂いがあるままバスケ部彼女のマンコをクンニ・フェラ・挿入までしてきました。
すべての内部はジェニーフェリ中出しシーンを提示します
EROTIQUE TV-サラ・ヴァンデラがERICJOHNのコックライブでギャグ
Sentinel Black Ebony カップル クリーミー プッシー 情熱的な愛は中出しを取ります - クリーミー ブラック プッシー スローリー ファック アンド クリームパイ 宣教師
セクシーな熟女は激しく犯された
バンギングファミリー-オイルと大人のおもちゃで遊ぶ2人のベスト
スプーキー ミルク ライフ - すべてのセックス シーン ( #2)
情熱的なクソ熱い曲がりくねったBBW、オーガズムまで彼女の猫を食べて、彼女の顔に絶頂
キッチンでの朝食ジャーク-AlexaJames-ジャークオフインストラクションクラシック
Twerknadoケンジーマディソンは彼女のディックライディングスキルを示しています
ストリッパーセドラはパーティーグループセックスタンパぶっかけスタイルの後に野生を持っています
アマチュア - 2021 年の検疫で共有する最初のビデオ - # 297
アマチュア 中出し 輪姦 ととも に ドイツ語 スワッピング ふしだらな女 精液 内部
小さなスリムな成熟した女性の婦人科試験
搾乳テーブル口内での最高の絶頂編集搾乳
日本のホットガールズショートスカートVol47
若い18歳のブロンドのアメリアが犯され、彼女のお尻に射精VGHV049
見事なオランダの売春婦は口の中で絶頂を取ります
私の夫は私をバーに一人で残しました、そして私はゼロカードボルトジョーンズで請求書を支払いました
彼女の名前は何ですか?ソロカムガール
ティーンエイジャーの屋外アナルセックス
ホットファック
ゴージャスな主婦(Isis Love)with Big Boobs Love Intercorse vid-09
heatherdeep ヘザー ディープ ありません 自撮り 中出し ディープスロート タイの アジアの 若い 女性 モンスター
ジョイ足スリッパ。 s ..妻56
ジャークオフ
曲がりくねったティーンを吸うディック
RealityKings-モンスターカーブ-(ソフィア、トニールビーノ)-お尻アップ
彼は彼女の太った猫をさまざまな位置で叩きます
ソファの上の黒いディックによって二重にねじ込まれた変態ベイビー
ゲイベトナム手コキ
5フィート2プチスクール-ガールレズビアントリブ
マルディグラニューオーリンズ
ふしだらな女のお尻のティーンエイジャーが壊される
マイ ファースト インターレイシャル DP、リンダ ブラック リアルミルフ、2on1、BBC、ATM、ボール ディープ、DP、ラフ セックス、ギャプス、クリームパイ ツバメ GL817
交差した油を塗った足は無視します
ステップ シスター 入手する ファック
ホットしゃぶりいたずらxd
プールサイドの広報のための妻
ハンクは彼の巨大なシュロンをベイビーの濡れた口に深く詰め込んでいます
喉とオマンコのセックス
いたずらなブロンドのアリエル・アクィナスがお気に入りの映画のキャラクターのようにチンポをイマラチオ
大まかな三人組のハードコア厄介な国境のパトロール調査はかなり
恋のトンネルポルノ若い
寝取られがくれたコスチュームで隣人に見せびらかす
兼ふしだらな女
パンティーのないドレスで真新しい
恥ずかしがり屋の短い髪のティーンは彼女の最初のオーディションをうまくやった
アマチュア自家製ボンデージ:縛られたナイロンふしだらな女はfacefuckedされて、けいれんされます
PervSexSis - 若いブロンドの若い女性の継姉妹の家族が義理の兄弟に犯された - Harlow West
Katie Montana 3on1 Balls Deep Anal、DP、Gapes and Cum in Mouth GL396
ブラックアンジェリカは多くの人にフェラを与え、ぶっかけをします
ジュリアレッド、ボールディープアナル、DAP、オナラ、スワローGIO1354を備えた4on1クラシック
セックスとハードコックの大きなお尻のブルネットの恋人は、後背位で吸うことが記録されています
娼婦の小便
SFW-ジャスミンローズの企業奴隷からの非ヌードBTS、プレシュートシェナニ?? comで映画全体を見る
レズビアンポルノ映画
タクシーのまともな女の子の甘い自然なおっぱいが割引を受ける
官能的なレフィンガータイトマッサージ師の猫
ママは巨乳のHDとホットブロンドの熟女が犯されるのを助けますコーリーチェイス
デジカレッジガールセックスビデオ-巨乳インドの若い女性エロヒンディー語オーディオでフルハードコアラフセックス
ホット痴女ラティーナ秘書が仕事で犯される05
股なしパンティーで踊る熱いブロンド
私が彼の巨大なコックに乗っているのを見てください
私の淫乱義理の妹が再び私のチンポを驚かせた - エンジェル
熟女が濃厚なマッサージをする、少年のチンポはなんていいんだろう
GISELLE MONTESは、彼女の潮吹きを受け取る準備ができています
コックライディング
Stepmom&Stepson Affair 62(予期しない朝食)
エロティックな儀式を踊る
Jizzorama-BBCに飢えた巨乳ビッグアスラティーナ
公共の場で旗に包まれたアメリカの女
私のコックが彼女の湿った熱い膣に浸透している間、彼女は非常にセクシーに彼女の熟した弾性ロールを動かします
ボインの入れ墨されたベイブミラミラノ最初のモンスターコック-ドイツのグーガールズ
IMG 3375.MOV
私のredbone雌犬をバックショット
私のホームビデオ
シームレスな誘惑!
いたずらニンフェットはガラスディルドが大好き
アマチュアの魅力:フェラチオトレーラーの編集(ケンジーカイ、アシュリーアンダーソン、スカイラーバレンタイン、アナスタシアナイト、キャロライナスイーツ、ジリアンヤンソン、エルザジーンなど)
私の義理の兄弟を吹く。若い女性のフェティッシュ
お尻に油を塗った
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